Found
Meanwhile, at the Avengers compound, Thor and Elsa are still watching TV on the couch.
ELSA
Are you sure there’s nothing better to do on Earth?
THOR
I’m sure. “The Middle” is one of the funniest shows ever made.
ELSA
I preferred “The Brady Bunch.”
THOR
Oh, come on, you only saw one episode.
ELSA
Yeah, that’s ‘cause you changed it to “The Middle.”
THOR
Well, we could put on a “Brady Bunch” right now.
ELSA
We don’t have to.
THOR
Are you sure?
ELSA
I’m sure. As long as I’m with you.
Elsa leans her head on Thor’s shoulder, and Thor leans his head on Elsa’s. The TV plays indistinctly in the background as the camera zooms in on the couple. They turn to look at each other and lean in to kiss, but the phone rings.
THOR
I’m going to get this real quick.
ELSA
(Playfully whiny)
Don’t.
THOR
I have to. It could be Strange.
Thor picks up the phone.
THOR
Oh, wow, it IS Strange.
Elsa throws herself forcefully onto the cushions to lie down, defeated at the fact that Strange was calling.
DR STRANGE
Hey, Thor. Listen carefully. Go to DC. Anna and Hans are there. Anna’s a Sith.
THOR
Did… not expect to hear that.
DR STRANGE
Hurry.
THOR
Come on, Elsa, let’s go.
ELSA
Where?
THOR
(Epically)
Washington D.C.
At this moment, the walls break as Hans cuts them down with a lightsaber. Elsa runs to Thor, looking to him for protection instead of fighting for herself.
THOR
Hans.
HANS
Thor. Elsa.
ELSA
How’d you find us?
HANS
The Force. You’ve barely scratched the surface, Elsa. If it all.
Thor puts out his right hand.
HANS
What’s going on?
THOR
Give it a second.
HANS
Give WHAT a second?
In Thor’s right hand, Stormbreaker lands.
HANS
You really think a puny little--
*Struck by lightning from the axe*
Elsa feels like she should turn around, as if there’s someone behind her. She turns around and sees Anna, who swings her lightsaber at Elsa’s head. Thor swings Stormbreaker, and deflects Anna’s lightsaber.
ANNA
Oh, it’s on.
ELSA
Anna? You’re… alive?
ANNA
More alive than ever. You wouldn’t believe the things I know.
THOR
How did you come back?
ANNA
Palpatine went in my head. It woke up my brain and my consciousness. I was alive again. I killed him, but he implanted his ideas in me. And they’re good ones.
ELSA
Anna, this isn’t you. You don’t sound like yourself.
ANNA
This is the “me” I’ve always been meant to be.
ELSA
And you’ve teamed up with Hans?
ANNA
His proposition was intriguing. We consolidate all the power in the universe to ourselves, then rule it benevolently.
THOR
(Visibly connecting dots in his head)
So you two are dating?
HANS
Why does everyone keep thinking that?
ANNA
Maybe we should go on a date ironically.
HANS
Maybe. First, we’ve got these people to kill.
ELSA
I’m a spirit.
THOR
I’m an Asgardian.
HANS
Fine, we’ve got these two beings to kill. Happy now?
THOR
Yes.
ELSA
Very.
ANNA
Good.
HANS
Yyyep.
BANNER
(From downstairs)
Could you guys keep it down when you have guests? I’m watching “The Brady Bunch.”
ELSA
(At Thor)
Ha! I knew “Brady Bunch” was better!
THOR
Do we seriously want to have that conversation right now?
ANNA
(To Hans)
Let’s kill them now so we don’t have to hear them talk.
HANS
Good idea.
ELSA
Wait, what?
ANNA
I’m sorry, Elsa. I really am. But for the good of the multiverse…
Anna sends wind from her hands at Elsa and Thor, heavy winds, knocking them down (and messing up their hair, for a visual). She and Hans come in and swing their lightsabers; Anna’s is stopped by Stormbreaker, and Stormbreaker’s swing clips Hans’s lightsaber, and Elsa’s right blue translucent hand is chopped off (that’s how Imma put it).
ELSA
*Understandably groans*
THOR
Elsa, are you okay?
ELSA
(Strained)
No…
Hans and Anna swing their lightsabers again, but a mighty defense from Stormbreaker literally cuts both lightsabers in half. Thor grabs Elsa and uses Stormbreaker to Bifrost him and Elsa out of there.
ANNA
What just happened?
HANS
Bifrost. They’re headed for another realm. You used the Force to find Elsa once, can you do it again?
ANNA
Undoubtedly.
HANS
Will her hand come back? Grow back? I don’t know how spirit anatomy works.
ANNA
It’ll come back. She’ll will it through the Force. She’s more powerful than she knows. She can grow back lost limbs. She just doesn’t know how.
HANS
Huh.
ANNA
Light side.
HANS
Figured.
ANNA
They’re on Asgard. Let’s go. Not give them any time to recover.