Changing Hands
Elsa heads up the stairs, heads right, and follows the signs to room 207. She knocks on the door, and it is answered by LUIS!
LUIS
Uh, can I help you?
ELSA
Is Scott Lang here?
LUIS
(Looking at Elsa but calling inside)
Hey, Scotty? There’s a white-haired woman here to see you.
ELSA
It’s Elsa.
Scott comes to the door.
SCOTT
Hey, how can I help?
ELSA
I was told to talk to you about timetravel?
SCOTT
Come inside.
Elsa goes inside, following Scott and Luis.
SCOTT
Take any seat you like, make yourself at home. Care for a Pepsi?
ELSA
What’s Pepsi?
LUIS
Uh, everybody knows what Pepsi is.
ELSA
I don’t.
LUIS
Well, it all started back when Coca-Cola--
SCOTT
Not right now, Luis.
LUIS
Sorry. You know my passion for the history of the beverage industry. I just love how Sprite versus Sierra Mist--
SCOTT
Luis.
LUIS
Sorry, sorry, bro.
SCOTT
(To Elsa)
Timetravel? What for?
ELSA
My sister’s dead. I’m going to find her and bring her back here.
SCOTT
Uh, you can’t do that.
ELSA
I’ve heard about the branch realities and whatever. I’m willing to risk it.
SCOTT
Yeah, but think of what’s already happened in THIS reality. The demons, either literal or metaphorical, that you’ve fought. They can come back.
ELSA
I don’t care. If you had the chance to bring back someone you loved who died, wouldn’t you?
LUIS
Yeah, Scotty, what if Cassie died?
SCOTT
Whose side are you on?
LUIS
Well, hers. Timetravel sounds like it could be fun. Trying to convince you to go back in time.
SCOTT
(To Elsa)
… I’d do anything.
ELSA
Then please, help me.
SCOTT
Sorry. I can’t.
Suddenly, Elsa sends spikes of ice at Scott, some flying right past him, but one stops just short of his face.
ELSA
Help me.
Scott tries to move out of the way, but the ice spike follows.
SCOTT
Fine. I’ll help you. Just put the giant icicle down.
LUIS
Ha! Timetravel!
SCOTT
Luis, I’ve told you about how I’ve ALREADY timetraveled.
LUIS
Yeah, but who wouldn’t want to timetravel a second time?
SCOTT
I’ll get her where-- or, when-- she needs to be, but I’m not leaving.
ELSA
Good. That’s all I ask.
Meanwhile, the GOTG are flying through space, celebrating having gotten Anna’s body without a fight. Their ship floats gleefully through space, that is, until they hear clunking sounds outside the ship. All of them are in a group in the center of the ship.
ROCKET
Anyone else hear that?
Another clunk.
QUILL
Get your weapons ready.
Alarms start blaring as the hangar door is opened. Two people in NASA-like spacesuits walk in, each holding a modified gun. The laser wall is still between them and the GOTG. The hangar door closes and the two intruders take off their helmets. One, a man, has a stubbly blond beard to go with his short, neat blond hair. The other, a woman, has long red hair tied in a braid.
MAN
You ready for this, Ilsa?
ILSA
I was born ready, Benji.
IT’S BENJI AND ILSA FROM THE “MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE” SERIES
The laser screen opens, and Benji shoots a couple of LASER BLASTS at the GOTG. He hits Nebula and Mantis, knocking them out.
BENJI
Now, don’t worry, they’ll be okay, but--
Quill and Rocket open fire on Benji and Ilsa. They charge the GOTG, sliding low to avoid their shots. Benji and Ilsa ditch their guns and grab knives, strong ones, knocking Quill and Rocket’s guns out of their hands. Quill and Rocket grab knives, and Drax and Gamora join the fight with swords. Groot fades back into the shadows, deciding it wise to give the others the space they need.
Back and forth they go, neither side gaining the upper hand, even though it’s 2v4 and the 4 have swords. For about ten tense seconds, they go like this, back and forth.
GROOT
I am Groot!
ROCKET
What do you mean they’re getting away? They’re right here.
GROOT
I. am. Groot!
All the GOTG look out the window to see two other spacemen floating away, the coffin between them. Benji and Ilsa use the momentary distraction to escape the fight, grabbing their helmets and putting them on, then escaping through the hangar door.
QUILL
No, no, no!!
Gamora and Drax tend Nebula and Mantis.
GAMORA
They’ll be okay. Just stunned.
ROCKET
They got away with the body. What should we do, Quill?
The GOTG look out windows and see the four spacemen total and the coffin entering a ship behind their own.
QUILL
We’ll follow them. It’s too risky to go right now. They’d expect that. Do we have any cloaking devices?
GAMORA
Does it look like we have any cloaking devices?
QUILL
Well, I’d assume that, well, uh…
GAMORA
Yes, we have cloaking devices.
QUILL
Oh, we do! Great! We’ll follow these robbers, then steal the body back once they land. They have to land somewhere, right?
GAMORA
Presumably.
On the robbers’ ship, all take off their helmets and head for the front to the four-man Millennium Falcon-style cockpit. The other two spacemen are ETHAN AND LUTHER!
ETHAN
Well, I’d say that went pretty smoothly, huh?
LUTHER
It went TOO smoothly.
ILSA
No. They’re not good with knives and swords. That’s the problem. Well, their problem.
BENJI
Did you get the coffin alright?
ETHAN
Easily. Snuck in under the ship, took the coffin while they were distracted, and slipped out.
LUTHER
Back to Earth, now. Gotta hand it over to the President Jones’s Science and Research Department. Study the cells. Then, we destroy it.
ETHAN
That’s right. We’ve also got to watch out for those punks coming back for the body.
BENJI
Well, we’ve got guns on this ship, right?
ILSA
We do. We have two proton blasting cannons. But they’re manned. Benji, if the time comes, we’ll have to man them.
ETHAN
Nah, I’ll man one. Benji, you did what you had to do with the knives. You’ve really practiced.
BENJI
Yes, I have. Thank you for noticing.
LUTHER
Time to put on these afterburners and get to Earth.
The MI crew heads to Earth, where Elsa and Scott are on a jet landing at the rebuilt Avengers compound in New York. Like my segway?
For reasons, the jet is piloted by a robot. The compound looks how it did in Endgame.
SCOTT
The machine’s in there.
ELSA
Good.
SCOTT
Look, are you sure--
ELSA
*Points icicle at Scott*
SCOTT
Look, I’m not afraid of these really, really, really sharp icicles for death. I want to be the best dad I can be for Cassie. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t--
ELSA
Shut up and take me inside, will you?
SCOTT
Okay, okay.
Elsa and Scott head to the compound’s doors. Scott looks inside.
SCOTT
Banner’s in there.
ELSA
Who’s Banner?
SCOTT
Someone who’ll try to stop us.
BANNER
(From inside)
Come on in, Scott!
SCOTT
Great. He saw us.
ELSA
So, when can I timetravel?
SCOTT
The equipment’s in there, but Banner won’t let us near it. Let’s go inside.
Scott swings open the doors, Elsa following. Banner is eating a taco at a table.
BANNER
I swear, these tacos get better with every bite. Nice to see you, Scott. Who’d you bring with you?
SCOTT
Hey, Banner. This is Elsa. Just showing her around.
BANNER
Ah. She your girlfriend?
ELSA
*Grossed out sounds*
SCOTT
What? No! You know me and Hope are still a thing.
BANNER
No, you need to be with Elsa. Your couple name could be “Elscott.” That works. With Hope, you’ve just got “Scope” and “Hott.” “Elscott” sounds the coolest.
SCOTT
Anyway, we’ll see you around, Banner…
BANNER
What are you really here for, Scott?
SCOTT
Well, we’re, uh, trying to keep me there for Cassie…
BANNER
Uh huh. I’m not following.
SCOTT
Well, I’m trying to stay alive.
BANNER
Do… you… need help?
SCOTT
*Gestures lightly with his head at Elsa*
BANNER
What’d she do?
ELSA
Okay, you know what, this conversation is very nice and all, but I’m kind of in a hurry, so…
Elsa freezes Banner in a block of ice, like she did to Thor.
SCOTT
Whoa.
ELSA
Get me to the equipment to timetravel. Now.
SCOTT
Uh, yeah. This way.
Scott leads Elsa through varying halls.
SCOTT
So, you do know the consequences, right?
ELSA
Yep. Infinite alternate realities.
SCOTT
The problem is that, without your sister, in these branch realities, the other versions of you won’t have her.
ELSA
Yeah, but I will.
SCOTT
You don’t seem like the selfish type.
ELSA
I’m just the type who wants her sister back at any costs.
SCOTT
Right.
They arrive at the timetravel place in the building where they all left in Endgame. Scott equips Elsa with her suit and shows her how to use it, the same kind of red-and-white suit used in Endgame. He hands her some Pym particles.
SCOTT
Enough for you to go to another point in time, get Anna, and bring her back.
ELSA
Let’s get this show on the road. It’s set for me to go back to right before Thor found us, right?
SCOTT
Uh, yeah.
Elsa runs to the timetravel machine, jumping into it and going through the Quantum realm.
SCOTT
(To himself)
For you, Cassie.