Children of HYDRA

The Soldier has three functions.

He's a spy.

He's an assassin.

And he's the trash at a TRASH party.

But the last function stops the day Brock Rumlow proves himself worthy to be instated as The Winter Soldier's handler. He claims it's because he wants him all to himself. And because he doesn't want the parties to interfere with the Soldier's other functions. But truth be told? He's in love.

He has been ever since the first time they were alone together. Brock lost a bet and had to clean up a TRASH party by himself, mopping up body fluids and sterilizing the scene. But part of cleaning up is cleaning up the Soldier. He followed Rumlow's orders almost eagerly, as if he was happy to do whatever the man asked. He always feared punishment and had positive feelings towards rewards, but there was something different in his mostly vacant eyes whenever he would follow one of Rumlow's commands. It was always like that, and Rumlow never thought anything of it until that day when he was bathing the Soldier in the locker room showers and the Soldier muttered his name in a quiet sound, almost a moan as Rumlow rinsed his hair. Rumlow smiled then and took full advantage of their being alone together, forcing the Soldier to his knees, leaning against the wall and ordering the Soldier to go down on him.

The orgasm was amazing, but that's not what sealed the deal. It was when the Soldier moaned his name around his cock as they came in tandem. Rumlow had always had feelings for the Soldier, but now it was a need.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew what they had would be fleeting if things didn't go just right. And he knew Project Insight was a long shot. Pierce may have had the foolheartiness to underestimate Steve Rogers, but Brock Rumlow didn't. He knew he wanted the Soldier to be his after the success of Insight. And when the Insight helicarriers crashed, he knew he was going to cut a deal to make the Soldier his after its failure. In fact, he planned on it.

He just didn't plan on being charbroiled.

Rumlow was unidentified at the hospital due to his injuries. It was his saving grace. Tattoos, facial features, identifying marks, all marred by the burns and scars from being crushed in the fiery fall of the Triskelion. The doctors didn't care whose side he was on, only that they fulfill their oaths and help the victims of the building's collapse.

It takes six weeks before physical therapy starts, and then another eight before Rumlow has the mobility to maneuver his body in acceptable ways before he leaves the hospital unannounced during a freak false fire alarm. No one noticed the Winter Soldier pulling it, because of course, he didn't want them to.

Rumlow doesn't know it's a false alarm, just that it's his chance to escape before his pseudo-identity is questioned. He gave them a fake name, an alias he'd had for years and barely used. The only one who knows it is Pierce, and he's gone.

Slipping out into the cold night in a set of scrubs from a utility closet, Rumlow makes his way across Washington, DC and to the safehouse he'd planned out. The Soldier is there waiting for him, just as ordered. Rumlow rushes, as much as he's able, to the Soldier and kisses him passionately. The Soldier is more than mechanical in his return of the kiss, but not by much. Rumlow didn't expect passion or love. He knows better. He knows his feelings can't be reciprocated yet, but he also knows they will be.

"Report, Soldier," Rumlow says softly against the Soldier's lips.

"Mission failure. Target escaped."

"Status?"

"Wounded. But he's probably healed by now."

"I meant you. Are you okay?"

The Soldier looks stunned. "Yes. Fully functional. No remaining injuries."

"What do you remember? Do you remember me?"

"Yes, Commander Rumlow."

"You can call me Brock now. I'm not just your handler anymore. I'm your boyfriend."

The Soldier shows the first real expression of emotion Rumlow's seen from him in years, with the exception of when he asked about Steve.

He smiles.

Rumlow strips his Soldier lovingly then and leads him to the bed of the apartment where the Soldier returns the favor. And this time, when they kiss it's not as one-sided.

The Soldier is wide awake in bed, and Rumlow is snoring next to him. They couldn't be as athletic as before because of Rumlow's injuries, but the Soldier is happy for the first time since he can remember. He thinks distantly that he had this before, someone he shared a bed with, and that that made him happy too, but the only person he can imagine is the man on the bridge and it seems unlikely they had ever shared a bed. But what the man said to him stuck with him.

You know me….

I'm with you 'til the end of the line.

Those words keep repeating in the Soldier's head as if a mantra that is tearing apart his programming. He's been without recalibration for nearly fifteen weeks now, and though he doesn't have any specific memories from before then, he does have impressions. He knows he has an unbreakable bond with his handler. This handler is important to him in a way no one else has ever been, though he only knows through feeling it rather than remembering it. He knows that the feel of the man inside of him is familiar, that his muscle memory of what makes the man moan is visceral and inescapable. He must've learned over time, like he learned his other skills. He's always known how to shoot a gun, how to knife fight. But at some point he must have learned.

He may be an asset, a weapon, but as the museum and this night with Rumlow has shown him, he's more than that too. He's like other people, or at least he was. The realization hit him hard in the museum and learning his own name was an experience that he doesn't think he'll ever forget, just like his muscle memory of how to shoot a gun.

He rolls over, not wanting to disturb his Commander, his boyfriend, but needing to know. He places a hand on his Commander's chest and presses lightly while rubbing in circles to wake him gently. He must've learned that somewhere, but he doesn't know where.

"Huh? What is it Soldier?"

"Commander, how long have we been together?" the Soldier asks softly.

"Fourteen years. Why?"

"I don't remember it. But I knew it was before my last recalibration."

"With your ability to heal, you should have some of your memories coming back soon. Don't worry, Soldier. I'm here for you."

"Acknowledged," says the Soldier. "And reciprocated."

"You know I love you, don't you?" Rumlow hadn't meant to say that out loud, but it slipped past his lips without his consent.

"I did not know. I… I…"

"You don't have to say it back. Wait a few weeks and then say it when you're sure."

"I'm sure now. I'm just not… not ready to say it."

"I shouldn't have said that. You don't need to cope with my emotions until you've had time to heal."

The Soldier looks at him, more soft, less robotic. In lieu of words, the Soldier kisses his Commander and sinks under the sheets to show his affection the only way he remembers how.

With muscle memory.

Rumlow is taking a video. It's the last piece of a data packet he's sending to Rogers. The data packet has names and locations of HYDRA agents, their aliases, HYDRA's safe houses and their black sites, all divided in half. Half of the information is for free, a show of good faith and proof that the information is real. The other half is x120 encrypted and can only be read with an encryption key designed by the late Doctor Zola – a key that Rumlow has.

The video shows the Soldier, sleeping comfortably, starting at his feet and working it's way up to his chest, letting his ample manhood show well on camera before going to his head where his tilted head lets his hair cover his face. Then the Soldier looks up, hair falling to the side. "Commander?" he says, a voice of perplexion. The video freezes on his face, never showing his arm.

If Rogers reads the email, he'll know what's on the table. Rumlow's assistance with the Winter Soldier's programming and details of HYDRA bases and personnel in exchange for freedom and staying with the Soldier wherever he goes. With this video attached, there's no way he won't read the email.

Rumlow waits until he and the Soldier are both ready to bug out before sending the video on the wifi and leaving the burner phone on the bed as they both exit through the fire escape. The Soldier doesn't ask questions, he just stays by Rumlow's side, matching his pace and avoiding attention from passersby.

The next safehouse is in the Bronx, a stable basement to a condemned building. But when Brock and the Soldier get there, Natasha Romanoff is waiting for them.

"Hello, Boys."

"Bad move, Romanoff!" barks Rumlow, drawing his escrimas.

He expects the Soldier to ready himself for combat, but instead, he says, "Commander, hold!" getting between them, his metal hand towards Natasha and his flesh one towards Rumlow. Rumlow would put him in his place for using a command term against him, but this isn't the time for a discussion or a chastisement. That aside, he thinks it may be the only way the Soldier knows to react verbally on the fly – the way he is spoken to the most.

But as Rumlow hesitates, Natasha tosses something electronic towards him and Rumlow tackles the Soldier to the ground, covering him with his body.

"Get down!"

"Commander!" screams the Soldier, trying to wrestle his way on top before the explosion.

But as they hit the ground and still themselves a moment, no explosion happens. Just a cell phone in a plastic case hitting the ground.

"Well, that was dramatic," says Romanoff. "It's just a phone. Rogers is gonna call you on it. I'm not about to start a fight with the Winter Soldier by myself, you moron."

Rumlow looks at the phone as if it's going to explode. "Soldier, bug out now! They'll find you!"

"We've been tracking both of you for weeks," says Natasha. "You really think Rogers wouldn't have every satellite available from The Future Foundation, Stark Enterprises and S.H.I.E.L.D. looking for Barnes?"

Rumlow looks even more panicked but the Soldier helps him to his feet and holds him close, steadying him while speaking quietly in Russian. Romanoff responds and they converse briefly before Romanoff leaves silently and the Soldier goes to pick up the phone.

It rings.

"Steve?"

Natasha isn't prepared for the former S.T.R.I.K.E. Commander and the Winter Fucking Soldier to freak out over a tossed cell phone, but the world has been crazy for weeks now. What strikes her the most is that they were both trying to protect each other from an assumed explosion or electric pulse. Even though Rumlow is all but crippled he tried to use his body to shield the supersoldier rather than let harm come to him. And the tones of both of their voices in the heat of the moment showed her all she needs to know.

If that didn't, the protective way they hold each other as they stand tells her more than she wants to know. Steve is not going to be happy.

Now, Barnes wants to talk.

Natalia Alianovna Romanova.

You recognize me, Zimnij Soldat?

I don't remember much.

Do you remember Steve? He wants you safe with him.

I am safe. With the Commander.

Steve wants to talk to you. Do you know your name?

I saw it in a museum. Steve is my best friend.

Then you know you can trust him.

I don't remember him, Natalia. But yes, I do.

Just talk to him. He needs you.

I need the Commander.

Then tell Steve.

Leave. Tell the feds to look somewhere else.

No feds. Just me.

If you found us, they'll find us.

Not with Stark redirecting them.

Go.

Natasha leaves without another word. Too many words might be difficult for Barnes right now.

She needs to give Steve privacy anyways.

Steve makes the call. Natasha pressed the button on her beacon and Tony is running interference. Everythings ready. If they can avoid a fight and still get Bucky back, they will. If they can't, they'll still get him back. There is no other option for Steve.

The phone rings once before Steve hears Bucky's voice.

"Steve?"

"Bu– Buck? Do you know who I am?"

"I don't remember, but I read about you in a museum. What do you want?"

"I want you to come home."

"You're lying."

"No, Bucky, I swear, I just want you to come home with me."

"You want to break me, break what I am and get your friend back!" Bucky screams. "You don't want me! You want him!"

"Please… any version of you is good enough. Please come home."

Bucky is panting on the other end of the phone and it reminds Steve of his own breaths as Bucky held him through his asthma attacks. Then he hears another voice, one that now makes his skin crawl.

"Let me talk to him," says Rumlow.

As soon as he hears this, Steve loses it. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!! YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!"

"Relax, Rogers. This isn't personal."

"Last time you said that—"

"—Was a different situation. You and I are on the outs, I get that. But right now, you're making my soldier erratic and alarmed. Cut that crap out."

"He's not your soldier! He's not you're anything!"

"I'm his boyfriend!" Bucky screams.

Steve nearly drops the phone. His heart feels like it's stopped. He might as well be back in the ice because he can't feel his body.

"You're what?"

"Rogers, listen to me. Barnes and I are together. You got the data pack, that means you know what's on the table. You know what I'm willing to do to be with him. I want you to have him back. I want to have you back. None of this is fair, Rogers, but you're in love with a man that hasn't existed for decades, and I'm in love with the man he is now. And you and I are in love with each other. We both know that."

"Not after everything HYDR—"

"—You can't just turn love off Rogers. It's there. For both of us. I'll bring him in but only if I know you'll take the deal."

"It's a deal," Steve says, without hesitation, but with immense reservations. Rumlow is right. They are in love. That's why it was personal when Rumlow betrayed him. It was personal and it is personal and trying to act professional isn't the way to handle it. Not to Steve, anyways. Brock always did compartmentalize better. He's like Natasha that way. Steve doesn't know if he's just old fashioned but it seems like everyone he cares about is better at handling emotions. But it seems like he doesn't have a choice. HYDRA or not, two of the men he loves are on the line and he can't let them go. It's when Rumlow finally speaks again that Steve realizes he needs them both.

"I love you, Steve. Here's the Soldier."

There's movement in the phone and then Bucky is there almost in tears as he says, "Don't make me go away! I swear I'll be good! Just don't make me him! I want to be me! Don't make me go away, please don't—"

"Bucky, please—"

"That's not my name! I don't have a name! Weapons have designations, not names!"

"What do you want to be called?"

"I'm the Soldier. It's the other me you want. He's here somewhere, but he's not me. Please don't make me go away…"

Steve's heart is breaking. "Come to Avengers Tower. We'll clear a path."

Steve hangs up then and it's only after that that he realizes what the Soldier meant, that he isn't Bucky.

Steve breaks down and cries, sobbing uncontrollably as he realizes what the problem is. He's in love with Bucky. Rumlow's in love with the Soldier. And the two are in the same body. Separate personalities in the same body.

Natasha calls Steve immediately after that, but Steve ignores it. He can't talk to anyone right now, not even her.