“What the hell do you mean, you don’t have any other clothes?” Sarah was holding a basket of laundry and looking at Bucky in horror.
“I brought everything with me, I dunno.” He shrugged, holding his hands out to accept the basket. He’d stayed in Louisiana after the final battle with the Flag Smashers, and been bending over backwards to make himself useful.
“Nuh uh, get your shoes on, we’re going to the mall.” She set the basket loudly in front of Sam, who was sitting on the couch trying to ignore them.
“The mall? I don’t--”
“Shoes. You own two pairs of jeans and four shirts, we’re getting you more fucking clothes, Bucky. Sam, you stay here with the boys.” She pulled her own jacket on, digging through her purse for her keys.
He huffed. “Why do I have to stay here? Maybe I wanted to go to the mall, huh?”
“I don’t give a shit what you want, Sam, watch the boys. Me and Bucky are going on a date.”
Bucky looked up from his boots, brow furrowed, but he was dragged out before he could say anything. “A date? Sarah, I--”
“I know, I just said that to annoy Sam.” They got into her beat-up truck, and she pulled out and headed towards the city. “He’s got a huge crush on you, y’know.”
Bucky blushed up to the tips of his ears. “I uh, I don’t know, Sarah, he won’t even call me his friend.”
Sarah just rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t wanna be your friend, Bucky, he wants to jump you. Why do you think he gets so pissed off when we flirt? I’m a grown ass woman, he’s not protective of me, he’s jealous because he wants you to flirt with him.”
Bucky thought for a moment. He and Sam were always bickering, but lately it was different. More teasing, poking fun at one another, no real heat behind it. Sam, resting a hand on Bucky’s lower back when he stepped past him, the touch lighting his skin on fire and leaving the ice behind. The way Sam had looked at him when he’d come out of the shower with a towel around his waist. The way they’d fallen asleep more than once pressed up against each other on the couch, the way Sam watched him when he’d nervously bite his lip--
“Oh my god, he has a crush on me!”
Sarah laughed. “Yeah honey, he does. Welcome to the family.” She smiled at him, and he felt a soft warmth coil through his chest.
“I… I don’t know what to say to him.” He chewed on his lip and looked out the window, watching the scenery whip by.
“Want my advice?” Sarah glanced over at him, and when he nodded, said, “Just grab him by the waist and plant one on him.”
His face got redder. “I- no, I don’t- I don’t think I can do that, I can’t.”
“Alright, fine, we can do subtle.”
~~~
Sam was going insane. He paced back and forth across the living room, looking at the two favorite contacts in his phone. Sarah and Bucky. His sister and his-- his what? He groaned and threw the phone aside, falling back onto the cushions heavily, dropping his head down into his hands. “Fuck…”
Sarah and Bucky were on a date, and with Bucky’s easy charm and beautiful, he’d probably be spending the night in her room before long at all. He tried to push images, unbidden, from his head.
Bucky stepping up behind Sarah in the kitchen, wrapping strong arms around her waist, leaning down to kiss her cheek. The domesticity of it all slicing through him like a knife.
Bucky wrapping his arm around Sarah on the couch, pulling her close with a flashy grin.
Bucky whispering “I love you” to someone else.
Bucky taking her in his arms and kissing her, soft and gentle, swaying to some old song he couldn’t place. Sarah knew what it was.
Sarah in a white dress again, walking towards him, he was stood up next to Bucky but he was on the wrong side, he wanted to be on the other side, he swallowed back bile when the pastor asked for reasons they shouldn’t be wed.
Bucky kissing her rounded stomach, hands resting there reverently.
Bucky holding a baby, his and Sarab’s baby, Sam’s niece, not Sam and Bucky’s, the large man swaying gently, a worshipful look on his face.
Bucky hugging AJ and Cass, they called him dad, he wasn’t dad but yes he was, holding a beautiful little girl with blue eyes and curls, they were a family and Sam was just standing there watching, bleeding and crying and alone.
He shook his head hard in an attempt to remove the images there, tears welling up, stomach twisting up into sharp pain. He couldn’t take this away from them, they’d both lost enough. He had to get over his stupid fucking crush, so he did what any smart man would do, and called his ex.
~~~
Bucky made a face. “I don’t know about this store, Sarah.” He had two bags hanging from his arm, full of denim.
“It’s just for shirts, I won’t give you any of the weird stuff. Their shirts are always buy one get one half off, so it’s a good deal, c’mon.” She dragged him into the dimly lit store, and he let himself be dragged without any protest. She grabbed a shirt and held it up to him, measuring. “Okay, so you’re an XL here I think, go try this on.”
He sighed and handed her the shopping bags, taking the shirt and heading back to the changing room. He pulled it on and Sarah had been right, it was a perfect fit. He looked at the text splashed across the front and snorted, putting his own shirt back on and returning to her. “You think you’re funny?”
“What? It’s true.” Sarah had a small pile of shirts already in her arms.
“Is this your idea of subtlety?” He held up the garment, the burnt red was a nice color but the faded grey words across the chest seemed like a bit much.
“You’re gonna wear it to the cookout tomorrow, it’s gonna be great.” She smiled encouragingly and patted his cheek. “Sam’s gonna choke on his own tongue.”
“Is that good?” He eyed her shirt pile warily, wondering if there was a continuing theme.
“Yes, it’ll lead to him choking on your tongue.”
“Sarah!” He tried not to play into the scandalized old man jokes Sam always made but holy hell she was blunt.
She just shrugged, unbothered. “Okay, I’ve got ten shirts, that’s a good start. After this we’ll do socks and underwear, then bring pizza home to our boys.”
Bucky smiled softly, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, alright… Please don’t pick out anything weird.”
“I would never, I’m offended at the insinuation.” She picked up one more, then headed to the till with him.
~~~
“Boys, we’re home!” Sarah came in first, carrying the pizza, and Bucky followed closely behind, carrying shopping bags, hair looking beautifully tousled. It hurt more than he’d expected it to.
“Damn, took y’all long enough.” Sam stepped just outside and whistled to the boys, who dropped their toys and came running.
“I’m gonna run down and throw these in, did you want me to grab anything else to go with it, Sarah?” Bucky was practically shooting fucking hearts out of those pretty blue eyes, it wasn’t goddamned fair.
“No I’m mostly caught up, you go ahead honey.” Knives, more knives, killing him.
Bucky nodded and headed downstairs to the basement to throw his laundry in, and Sam suddenly found himself lost for words. “So, how was it?”
Sarah smiled at him, a soft, knowing thing. “It was nice, he’s a great guy Sam. I’m glad you brought him home with you.”
Sam choked back the last of his hope they hadn’t clicked, choosing instead to give a slight nod. “Yeah, you’re welcome.” She just laughed at that, snagging plates and drinks from the cupboard while Cass and AJ scrubbed their hands in the sink.
Bucky came back up, and they all settled around the table, tucking into dinner quietly. Sam kept sneaking looks at Bucky, who seemed not to notice. “So, where’d you guys end up going?”
“Oh just the mall, plus coffee. Got jeans and t-shirts mostly, since it’s all I’ve ever seen him wear.” Sarah took a long drink of her beer. “I think next time we should look for other stuff, sweaters and shorts and stuff.” So there would be a next time, great.
“I don’t need sweaters, I run hot. Shuri said I averaged at about 102.” Bucky took that as a reminder to shrug off his heavy leather jacket, exposing those incredible arms that would be busy holding someone else soon.
“You’d look nice in a sweater, Bucky, think of the family Christmas card.” And there it was, the final blow to rip his heart straight from Sam’s chest.
“We’ll see.” Bucky smiled and shook his head fondly, returning to his dinner. Sam got up abruptly, chair screeching, making everyone look up at him in confusion.
“I, uh, I’m gonna go for a run.” He sped up to his room, changing clumsily, trying to pack the wound in his chest. Sarah and Bucky were good people, if they made each other happy then who was he to stand in their way? It was stupid for him to fall in love in the first place, the guy was from the forties, of course he was into women. Sam was just a bisexual disaster with issues, Sarah was the perfect woman. Kind, strong, gentle where it counted, and funny as hell, any man would be lucky to have her. He’d said the same to her late husband, who, if he was being honest, wasn’t as good as Bucky. He stopped and took a long, shaky breath. He loved Sarah. Sarah deserved the best. Bucky was the best. He’d fallen for more than enough straight guys in his time, this would just be another name on the list.
Except it wasn’t just anyone, it was Bucky, his Bucky, who blushed when Sam caught him staring, who fell asleep on his shoulder when they were watching movies, who’d stuck by his side through the whole mess with Karli, and wasn’t just anyone. This was a deep wound, oozing with infection, and it would take a very long time to heal. He wondered how he’d ever be able to work with Bucky again, how he could look the love of his life in the eye after watching him with his sister.
He slipped out the back and took off running, willing the love out of his heart with each slap of his shoes on the ground.
~~~
When Sam finally returned, Bucky was sitting alone on the couch in pajamas, hair damp and messy, clicking through Netflix with a furrow in his brow Sam just wanted to kiss away. He tried to sneak by, but should’ve realized that was stupid.
Bucky threw a warm smile at him, like it was as easy as breathing. He’d smiled more, easier, since being here in Louisiana, probably thanks to Sarah. “Hey Sam, wanna watch something with me?” He scooted a little, leaving a Sam shaped spot there.
“Uh, not tonight, sorry, I’m really tired. Maybe tomorrow?” He didn’t wait for a response, rushing up the stairs and curling up in bed. He’d shower tomorrow, right now it was time to hug his pillow and cry like he was back in high school.
~~~
Bucky: I think he’s mad at me. -BB
Sarah: why would he be mad at u
Bucky: I don’t know, he shut himself up in his room as soon as he got home. I asked him to watch a movie and he said he was too tired. I don’t understand what that’s about, we always watch movies on Friday nights. -BB
Sarah: first of all, quit signing ur texts like an old man. Second, he might just actually be tired, it doesn’t have 2 mean anything
Bucky: Dear Sarah, If you say so. Sincerely, Sergeant James Barnes
Sarah: fuck off
~~~
Bucky got up early, heading to the kitchen to start on pancakes. Sarah had said they were Sam’s favorite, and he knew how to do it, so he was gonna start the day off strong. He flicked on the coffee pot and started mixing the dry ingredients, humming softly.
Sarah came down first, smiling at him warmly. “The boys are gonna love you for this.”
He smiled softly, adding another perfect pancake to the teetering stack. “You know who I’m doing this for.”
~~~
“You know who I’m doing this for.” Sam felt the knife he’d just gotten to still start twisting up again. He took a deep breath and headed in, hoping he could remember how to act normal.
“Mornin’.” He walked over to the coffee pot, but was stopped by Bucky holding a mug out to him.
“Morning Sam. Feeling better?” Bucky was scanning him with that x-ray gaze again, and he tried not to squirm under the scrutiny.
“Uh, yeah, I’m good, just pushed myself too hard on my run.” He took a drink from the mug and was surprised that Bucky had remembered how he liked his coffee.
“Hope you’re hungry then, I made too many pancakes.” Bucky gestured to a large stack, and Sam felt his mouth water. He loved pancakes.
“Starved.” He grabbed a plate and snagged a few, sitting down next to Sarah, who was already halfway through a plate of them. The boys came down and Bucky made their plates for them, slipping into the paternal role with ease. He finally sat down and dug in when he’d made it through all of the batter.
“So, once we’re set here, Bucky you’re gonna run into town and pick up the cake and the ice, Sam you’re gonna come and help me. Cass, AJ, you guys are gonna be in charge of the trash cans today, just like normal.” They all nodded, accepting their roles. It was Sarah’s show, they were just the extras.
“I’m gonna get going then, no time like the present. Don’t touch the dishes, I’ll do them later.” Bucky rinsed his plate off, leaving it in the sink, then headed up to the bathroom to get dressed.
Sam watched him go, hoping the longing wasn’t obvious. Bucky wasn’t his anymore, he was Sarah’s, and he needed to respect that. “I’m gonna take the first load down to the docks.” He tossed his plate in the sink and rushed out to the truck, hauling boxes and taking off in record time. He didn’t wanna be alone with Bucky, he wasn’t ready for that conversation.
He spent the next hour hauling all the food, setting up chairs, generally just trying to be helpful, when Sarah came over to him, looking worried. “Have you seen Bucky?”
He looked around at the gathering crowd. “No, wasn’t he just getting ice and cake?”
“Yeah, it’s weird… Oh there he is!” She waved at him, and Sam turned, feeling his brain stutter to a halt when he saw what Bucky was wearing.
Fashionably worn jeans, those damn boots, his trademark leather jacket, oversized shakes, and a dark red shirt with grey words splashed across the front reading ‘GAY UNCLE’. He turned to Sarah, brow furrowed deeply, brain feeling broken. “What… is he wearing?”
She grinned at him, that knowing look coming back. “You like it? We picked it out yesterday.”
“I… what??” His eyes were glued to the text as Bucky played with Cass and AJ, extricating himself from them shortly and coming over to where they were.
“Hey Sam.” He pulled his sunglasses off, those blue eyes looking downright fucking mischievous.
Sam looked at the shirt, then at Bucky, then at Sarah, his brain feeling like it was trying to put a square peg in a round hole. “I… Bucky, do you know what that shirt means?”
“Well shucks Sam, I sure do, I’m just so doggone happy all the time.” Bucky put on a higher pitched, transatlantic accent, gesturing to his shirt dramatically. He set the cake down and rolled his eyes, laughing. “No, Sam, I know what it means, I’m not an idiot.”
“But, I thought… Are you two not--?”
“No, dumbass, I’m no homewrecker.” Sarah patted his shoulder and headed off to go do something else, leaving them alone.
“So… You’re gay?”
Bucky nodded. “Yep. That alright with you?”
Sam nodded as well, feeling something new in his stomach. “Yeah, uh, I’m bisexual.”
“Cool, cool… Sam?”
“Yeah Buck?”
“I’m gonna kiss you now, if you don’t stop me. Five second warning.”
Sam stared up at Bucky, wondering if he was hallucinating. Bucky’s cheeks were tinged pink, and after exactly five seconds, he felt a cool metal hand cupping his face, a hot one on his waist, and suddenly he was kissing Bucky, he was kissing Bucky, and it was so much better than he’d ever imagined. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, pressing closer, melting into him, and all those wounds healed up at once.
Bucky pulled back first, reluctantly, lips pink and kiss-swollen, eyes looking dark and wanting. “I don’t want to date your sister, Sam. I want to date you.”
Sam nodded in agreement. “Me too, I want that too.”
Bucky grinned, that sweet, open thing he loved so much. “So you’ll go steady with me, doll?” His tone was light, teasing, but Sam knew he meant it.
“On one condition.” He paused, for dramatic effect. “You come sleep in my room, til we get our own place. No more couch.”
Bucky smiled wider, then leaned down and kissed him again. “No more couch, sweetheart.”
Sam felt like his heart was singing, he couldn’t believe this was happening, it was completely perfect, but it kinda felt like he was forgetting something. He was about to kiss Bucky again when he heard someone clear their throat pointedly.
He turned and there was Ayda, his ex-girlfriend. She looked fucking pissed. “Seriously, Sam? You call me up, invite me out here, just to rub your new thing in my face? You’re a fucking asshole.” She turned and stalked off, huffing angrily.
Bucky raised a brow. “You invited your ex-girlfriend to the cookout?”
Sam felt his cheeks warm. “I, uh… I thought you were dating Sarah and I was trying to drown my sorrows.”
Bucky laughed and held him tighter, shaking his head. “Oh god, Sam, you really are clueless sometimes.” He smiled down at Sam, soft and bright. “But I love you.”
Sam bit his lip softly. “I love you too.”
It was the most successful cookout yet, and if Sam wore that red shirt down to breakfast the next day, everyone was too polite to say anything about it.