Chapter 5
tony was welcomed into a warm kitchen that smelled a little burnt, with a boy and a girl running around chasing a dog and an elderly woman sitting at a table visible through the door.
“oh stevie he’s adorable,” she said and tony walked over with a fat smile plastered on his face.
“hi mrs. rogers, i’m tony.”
“please call me sarah tony, i always feel so old when beautiful young boys call me mrs.”
“alright sarah. how are you doing?”
“very well, thank you. do you think you can check on my son in the kitchen, i think he’s burning the sauce,” sarah said with a wink and turned back to her glass of wine. tony noted that the table was already neatly set and turned on his heel.
“how’s it going,” the teenager asked with a slight chuckle.
“what’s your name,” the blonde girl who finally came to a halt asked tony. “i’m adison!”
“it’s very nice to meet you adison, i’m tony.”
“will you dance with me?” adison asked and tony knew he shouldn’t be doing that because to be honest, he might fall over anytime now.
thankfully steve came to the rescue. “hey addy maybe tony will help uncle stevie save the sauce and i can dance with you.” he gave the teenager a wink in the meantime.
it was a few minutes later that the rogers, steve’s sister pam and her husband jim along with their two kids sat down for dinner with their new guest tony. tony hadn’t been able to ‘save’ the sauce, he’d started from scratch.
considering how quiet the table was while they were eating, tony couldn’t be more proud of what he’d whipped up.
“wow steve, you’ve outdone yourself by a landslide,” jim said and steve eyed tony who was sitting right next to him.
“wasn’t on me. tony made the sauce,” he stated proudly and tony felt himself blush.
“it is really good tony,” sarah said. “did you learn this from your parents? what do they do?”
tony was glad to be asked questions, that way he could eat more slowly than everyone else who seemed to gulp the food down like it could be taken from them. “i think i learned it when i moved out. and one of my nannies always insisted i help her cook,” tony told sarah with a smile. he already liked the woman. “and my parents used to produce all sorts of weaponry, but we’re slowly expanding into different fields.”
“he’s howard stark’s son ma, they own the big stark building down in manhattan.” the world didn’t really know much about tony, that’s the thing his parents did well in the teenager’s opinion.
the conversation went quiet from then on, everyone seemingly intimidated with tony. and so the teenager spoke up: “so addy, are you in some sort of a dance group?”
this sparked conversations about the rogers growing up, jim’s family, about steve’s past in ballet for a few years which tony definitely had to touch back on.
tony quickly realized that everyone at the table was living his dream of having a close family. he knew it was cheesy, but something about what he’d seen in movies had always touched his heart. adison and her younger brother joey (joseph, after sarah’s late husband) were loved all around, got to grow up with four adults who loved them to pieces. the teenager didn’t like himself getting jealous of things the way he did. but what was he to do? those kids had won big, that was for sure.
after dinner, when tony was starting to get a bit tipsy, he sat with jim , pamela and sarah as he drank his last glass of wine (steve had told everyone he was twenty one for other purposes), steve held adison close to his chest as he danced with her and something in the way that the man was so big and the girl was so small made tony’s eyes fill with tears.
“i wanna dance too!” joey exclaimed and so steve moved addy to one side and picked the other kid right up, dancing around with them for a while. tony blinked quickly in response, he wouldn’t go and cry in front of steve’s family on the first day he met them. he didn’t even want to cry in front of his- boyfriend? steve sat down with both his niece and nephew on his lap and showered them with kisses.
“i’m gonna go grab some fresh air,” tony told the table.
“of course, balcony’s right through there. the kids need to go to bed now anyway,” pam said and so while tony got up, her and jim went over and took their kids into their arms before carrying them to down the hallway of the apartment.
tony stepped out on the balcony and wiped a few tears from his eyes before he heard someone step out of the door too. he turned around quickly and wiped at his eyes again when he saw steve, then quickly turned around again. who was he kidding? steve had seen and his shaking shoulders weren’t exactly subtle.
the counsellor stepped very close to tony’s back and rubbed the biceps that wasn’t holding a wine glass, his body heat emitting into tony. the teenager leaned back against steve’s muscular chest. “are you okay?”
“yeah. i’m sorry i’m just pitying myself,” tony wiped a few more tears that seemed to be flowing freely now that steve was here, and he hated himself for it. “it’s no big deal.”
“well it can’t be that small either if it makes you cry.”
tony didn’t like the word cry. crying was something for kids and he didn’t like that steve had caught him off guard like that.
“i uh. i fled from my parents tonight because i can’t stand being in a room with them for too long. and all i’ve ever wanted was to have a loving family. and now here i am and get to see the epitome of what i’ve wished for my entire life.” tony turned around again and steve kissed the top of his head while wrapping his arms around the boy.
“i know. they’re lucky kids.”
“so are you stevie. your mom and sister adore you.”
“i know tony. i know. i’m sorry you never experienced family life like this.”
steve didn’t say any more which came as a relief to tony. there wasn’t much one could say to make things better; although a counsellor, steve tried not to let his exceptional knowledge of the human mind get into his personal relationships. maybe later on, when tony explicitly told him to but not right then.
tony made sure to calm down as quickly as he could, and it’s not like he wasn’t used to those feelings. he blamed getting off of medication for this little incident and kissed steve intently while they were still out on the balcony.
“you know what would be really good right now?” tony asked the blonde and sat down on the windowsill. “a cigarette.”
“wait, let me see what i can do,” steve said before kissing tony again and going inside.
tony wiped over his face one last time before he nearly dropped his wine glass when sarah appeared in the door to tell him goodnight.
“there’s always a place here for you if you need anything honey,” sarah said and kissed the boy’s cheek before going inside.
tony’s chest fluttered with butterflies washed down with a new set of tears. he had never felt this wanted and protected and safe.
steve interrupted that train of thought by handing the teenager a pack of cigarette with a sort of retro design.
“where did you find that?” tony said when he took out one of them, realizing only two had been smoked before.
“bucky and i coughed our way through them when we were sixteen and i’ve hidden them beneath a floorboard ever since.”
steve had told tony intently about bucky. a man who had ripped steve’s heart apart by not being gay. a man who had been his best friend since the first day of pre-k. from what steve had told him, the world would be a better place if everyone had a bucky. not even that did tony have.
the teenager was about to wallow in self pity when steve spoke up: “wait, when did you start smoking?”
“when i first got-“ tony stopped himself there. he couldn’t tell a counsellor who didn’t know he had cancer that he started smoking when he first got diagnosed. “when i started at mit, actually. it’s not a big habit though, sometimes i just really get an urge to smoke one.”
tony put the cigarette out when he was done and they went inside.
“i’ve been sleeping in the guest room but you can sleep there and i’ll have the couch,” steve suggested when they were done brushing their teeth.
“do you mind sleeping in the same bed as me?” steve picked up on the sadness in tony’s voice without having to look at the slight pout the teenager was dramatically giving off.
“i- no. i’m just protecting you. i’m trying to give you time,” steve explained in all honesty as he guided tony to the guest room.
“i love sleeping in bed together, it lets me sleep so much better,” tony said as he sat on the bed, then asked steve to give him a sleep shirt.
the counsellor rummaged through the closet next to the bathroom door and threw a harvard alumni shirt at his boyfriend. “alright, i’ll sleep next to you,” he said with a smile and stripped down to his boxers.
“wow,” tony said before getting up and doing the same, hoping steve wasn’t looking at him and making sure he wouldn’t see his back for now; it was bruised heavily from nothing major; the pit falls of leukaemia. the teenager’s arms and legs and stomach were too, but he blamed it on boxing lessons when steve asked.
“you’re so small,” steve said all flustered and with a blush before tony threw on the shirt that was so big on him it went down to the middle of his thighs.
“that good or bad?” tony asked, his ears piping red from embarrassment.
“good, good!” steve assured.
after the pair had brushed their teeth and done all other night time duty, they lay down in bed where tony told steve to put his arms around him from behind.
the teenager lay his head on the man’s biceps and steve held his stomach close with his other arm. tony still hadn’t completely calmed down from his sadness spell a few minutes back, and steve’s biceps grew wet with a few stray tears out of the teenager’s eyes while they were trying to fall asleep.
the counsellor hummed and pulled his boyfriend even closer. “hey,” steve whispered, tightening his grip.
“sorry it’s the wine and… so tired.”
“don’t apologize. go to sleep.”
tony nodded against steve’s chest and dozed off into one of the most restful nights of sleep he’d ever experienced.