Chapter 6
tony spent the reminder of the spring break week mostly at the rogers’ place or walking together with steve.
he told his parents he was seeing his girlfriend steph, and met them for dinner twice before he headed back to boston. steve was cutely enough just as excited about the flight back as he’d been about flying in.
when the two of them came back to school, things sadly regressed to how they were before spring break. and this time it wasn’t about a silence between the pair but because they both had trouble making time for each other.
the first time they saw each other apart from brushing hands in the hallway and tony seeing steve in his human factors class was on sunday night, when they met for dinner and cuddled all night long before tony fell asleep at nine pm due to sheer exhaustion.
now steve knew he’d have to talk to tony soon. he’d been notified by a few lecturers and teaching assistants about tony’s rather tired demeanour ever since the semester had started up, and it was his duty as counsellor to make sure that tony was at his best health both mentally and physically.
however, steve decided he’d have to see for himself how tony acted in class first, and so he’d wait until the thursday the week after, and left all pink and in love the next day.
the two had yet to have their first time together, or tony’s first time with a man after all. however, steve enjoyed this cuddling base they shared.
three more lecturers came to talk to steve about tony that week, and the man watched his boyfriend almost fall asleep throughout the whole time, and when he was watching the screen up ahead, tony’s glance was distanced and his eyes glassy.
“alright class, that’s it. if you have any questions leading up to the exam, you can email me or come by during office hours anytime.” steve said when the bell rang class out. “oh and anthony, may i see you after class?”
tony took his time to pack up after class and left his backpack on the desk when the last person had left the auditorium, going after them in order to lock up the only door in the room.
“come here baby,” steve said and leaned against his desk, crossing his arms in front of his chest all teacher like.
tony stepped closer to his boyfriend, thinking he would ask him out on a date leading up to sex hopefully.
“actually, this isn’t really about us. a few teachers have told me that you’ve seemed absent and tired lately, and i’m checking in on you as a counsellor,” steve said with a smile into tony’s smug brown eyes.
the teenager sighed in response. he knew his time had come, he wouldn’t be able to keep his illness a secret any longer.
“steve i…” tony coughed in order to fake a short break.
“what’s wrong tony? you can always tell me. i won’t judge whatever it is.”
“there’s not much to judge steve. i’m just sorry i haven’t told you sooner.”
“uhh, you’re pregnant?” steve said with a laugh and tony chuckled in response.
“i have cancer steve,” tony whispered and he’d never seen tears form quicker in someone’s eyes than in steves’ right then. “i’m okay though. it’s chronic leukaemia and it’s going to be a whole while until it gets bad.”
the teenager stepped closer to his boyfriend and used his thumbs to wipe away the few tears that had already cascaded down steve’s cheeks. wow, no reaction of anyone he’d told had ever touched him like steve’s did right then. “is that where all those bruises come from?” steve’s voice was weak, hoarse and so unlike himself.
“yes. please don’t cry stevie. it’ll make me cry too and i have class in half an hour.”
steve chuckled a little in response but stayed quiet, even when the teenager in front of him stepped closer and continued to wipe his tears to the side.
“i’ll explain over dinner tomorrow night, okay?” when steve nodded in response, tony finally leaned in and worked his tongue between steve’s lips. steve needed some time to think about this; tony knew from experience that after everyone has revaluated what they’ve been told, things would be very slightly easier to talk through.
they kissed way too long for this not to lead somewhere, and so tony grinded his hips against steve’s body. steve pushed him back a little before he himself got a hard on.
instead he placed his hands on the teenager’s shoulders and slipped down the mit hoodie tony was wearing, letting it fall to the floor once it was off. tony wore a white shirt underneath that steve slipped up after he wiped his face clean.
tony had gotten skinnier again and his torso was bruised severely. his boyfriend moved his lips down the boy’s torso, all the while holding him tight around the waist before kneeling in front of the boy.
steve worked the buckle of tony’s belt as if he’d done it a million times and pulled down his boxers with one slick move before taking the tip of his dick into his mouth.
tony liked seeing steve’s face from up there while the blond loved him how he’d never been loved before. it didn’t take long for tony to come, and the teenager was shocked when steve swallowed the load catapulted to the back of his throat.
“you didn’t have to do that,” tony told him when he pulled his boxers and pants back up and was helped into his shirt by steve. “thank you though,” he said and pressed another kiss on steve’s lips.
“i’ll see you at dinner tomorrow, okay? i’ll pick you up,” tony said, which had never happened but he felt like driving again after not having done that in so long.
“how about tonight?” steve asked with puppy eyes and tony almost considered postponing his paper writing session into the night so he could grant steve’s wish, but he figured that would be extremely unhealthy.
“i have to work on some papers,” the teenager insisted. “but you can still come over, if you’d like.” honestly, sleeping next to steve again seemed like the right thing to do, and he’d noticed that whenever he told people about his illness, they tend to stay close to him over the following few months until he’d tell them that he’ll hit them up if he needed someone but never did.
steve had to teach another introduction into psychology right after tony left to head to his next class.
that class was uneventful for the teenager, while sometime in the middle steve told his students to quietly discuss a topic while he walked to the restroom where he began to cry once more. his dad had died of cancer when he was a young boy, and it brought all these memories back he couldn’t control. he could smell the hospital room he’d spent most afternoons in, see the bald head and dull eyes and what not.
the fact that tony said ‘it’ll be a while before it gets bad’ didn’t help him, it still meant that tony would die early on. and cancer is so unpredictable.
images of tony’s bruised torso made these feelings in steve’s chest worse and the counsellor knew he couldn’t get into this now, or it would take him too long to recover. and so he put on a smile and distracted himself with the fact that later that night, tony would be all his after finishing his papers, and the tears dried up and his hands stopped shaking.
steve brought dinner for tony when he came over later that night, but the teenager was feeling sick and all he could think of was finish those papers. he hated writing papers, they were so much more work to him than simply writing an exam. he wasn’t complaining though, he was definitely still a lot more efficient than his classmates, but he was also looking at a lot of formatting work.
steve seemed shaken when they kissed each other in front of the elevator.
“you okay?” the kid asked and regretted it right away because steve looked like he might cry once again.
to steve, seeing tony dressed so warm anyone else might overheat was painful. “i’ve been feeling a bit off ever since you told me,” the blond admitted.
“oh,” tony said and took the pizza carton out of steve’s hands, placing it on the dining table before grabbing them some sodas. “don’t worry, everyone i’ve told so far didn’t let me out of their sight the first few weeks.”
“i can understand that,” steve stated and sat down at the table.
“i’m sorry stevie i don’t think i can eat much tonight,” tony said in dismay but steve waved it off.
“it’s alright. you’d probably rather be pushing through with those papers,” the man guessed. upon tony’s nod, he told him to do just that.
when steve was done eating, he sat down in tony’s big leathery armchair without a word.
“what do you wanna do? i need about another half hour,” tony said and picked up his laptop.
“use some time to think,” steve said and contemplated for a bit. “sit in my lap?” he asked the teenager; he really needed some physical touch right then.
so tony did, because he needed a spot to sit anyway and steve’s lap seemed like a great option.
steve watched in amazement at how tony didn’t look up anything while writing his papers, merely images to illustrate what he thought.
when he was writing down the sources of said images, his phone rang, and it read ‘howard stark’.
tony put it on speaker.
“howard?”
“hi anthony, how are you?”
“i’m alright, thanks. how are you guys?”
“we’re good. listen, i’m holding a lecture at the international science and tech convention in tokyo this summer and i wanted to ask if you want to tag along. maybe bring your girlfriend too.”
tony shot steve a smile, who knew he hadn’t been able to tell his parents yet. “do you want to come?” the boy whispered. “it makes me have to tell them.”
steve nodded in response. “alright.”
“sounds good howard. we’d like to come along.”
“i’ll sign us up then. take care, tony.” and the line was dead.
“you call your dad howard?” steve asked in confusion.
“yeah. he became less and less of a dad so why would i still call him that?” tony shrugged.
“really? when was the last time you called him dad?”
“i don’t know,” tony lied because he couldn’t possibly tell this story about his first treatment two years ago:
the doctor had recommended tony stay with his parents during the two week treatment for he would have trouble preparing himself food and taking care of daily tasks in his own apartment.
the teenager had been really tired all week, but the flight over to malibu completely knocked him out. he drank a lot of water as the doctor had recommended and upon arrival in the mansion he partly grew up in, tony went straight to sleep in the early afternoon after taking his pill. he didn’t know that the pill would lead to longer sleep when he was so exhausted.
howard and maria were at a gala in beverly hills that night and figured since tony was asleep, not much could happen.
tony woke up to a wet bed shortly before his parents returned from their gala, and he was so lethargic he couldn’t even move to the edge of the bed to get up.
when maria came into tony’s room to make sure everything was okay, she found him with tears down his cheeks .
“what happened tony?” she asked and came closer, her beautiful dress flowing behind her.
“i’m sorry mommy, i wet the bed,” tony choked out. he heard how tiny and bubbly he sounded but no amount of emotional labour could get his talking back up to the maturity he had normally.
maria wasn’t surprised. the doctor had told her these things could happen during treatment, and that tony might be so stressed and exhausted he’d need to rely on things he’s been doing himself for over a decade.
“oh honey, it’s okay,” she said compassionately. “howard can you come in here?” she called her husband, who was right there within seconds, only wearing a pair of boxers and a shirt.
“can you give tony a bath while i take care of the sheets?” maria suggested and howard nodded in response. he picked tony up and carried him to his and maria’s ensuite bathroom. the boy didn’t weigh much those days and he was still quite small, so it came as no trouble to lift him.
howard let the water run into the tub while sitting tony down and helping him undress. the boy was crying silently whilst his father took care of him. he wished he could be five years old again and rely on his parents again like this which he too figured came with the drugs and would be over soon.
“it’s okay kid, it happens,” howard said so compassionately that tony actually believed him and it felt oddly comforting to believe words he wouldn’t believe in a normal state of mind.
the billionaire lifted his son into the tub and used a cup to wash his hair and back while tony sat there and let his father take care of him.
he was wrapped into a towel and sat on the rim of the tub while howard ran out to throw his pajamas in the wash and get new ones.
tony’s tears dried up during those moments alone in the bathroom. he felt weird but so good in a sense. he decided to cherish that night, it might be the last one he’d get to have parents that way. he was still very lethargic and wouldn’t be able to walk back to bed or to dress himself.
howard helped his son into new boxers and a pajama, then crouched down in front of him. “mom is taking care of your mattress, but you can’t sleep on it this night,” he explained.
“do you want to sleep in a guest room or…” howard saw tony’s face fall. in a little brochure about families dealing with a kid who has cancer he’d read about the possibility of the kid to rely on their parents more even with things they could do by themselves and that, especially during treatment, they could get very clingy no matter their normal relationships with parents. “do you want to sleep in our bed tonight?” howard asked then and tony nodded eagerly in response.
the billionaire carried his son into his and his wife’s bed and covered him with a blanket before going to brush his teeth. tony was looking at him through the bathroom door the whole time.
and then howard went to bed, holding tony close to his chest while he fell back asleep. “thank you daddy,” the boy whispered before he was out like a light.
tony returned back to the now from his memory. he still felt good about that night despite what had happened and despite the fact that he was already in college when it did. maybe it had been some sort of late childhood experience he’d needed in order to heal some of the pain he’d suffered during his autonomous childhood. he hadn’t felt that lethargic ever since, but his parents would likely be there when he would, and now so would steve.
howard wasn’t a bad father in the sense that he was mean to him. he just wasn’t really there much and he wasn’t much proud of tony because to him, his son’s achievements were standard. and tony was okay with how he was, he’d grown up autonomously until the diagnosis and that wasn’t all bad.
tony finished up his sources and put his laptop away, then cuddled further into steve’s lap. “you just finished about a weeks worth of work in three hours,” steve realized out loud.
“yeah, some people just win at life, am i right?” the teenager said and put his head against his boyfriend’s chest. there was no sarcasm in his voice which steve would have expected. tony was serious about it, not looking for pity about his illness.