Exalted

“Wait - let me get this straight.” Robin held up her hands. “He asked you to model for him?”

“Yes, Robin,” Steve huffed. “I told you that.”

“Just to model? Not like - model and by the way, let me buy you dinner?” Steve nodded, and Robin rubbed her forehead. “Are you sure, absolutely sure, that he didn’t say anything about going out? Because, as gently as I can, I want to remind you that sometimes you just don’t notice certain things.”

Steve remembered the phone number on his cup and flushed. “I’m sure, Robin. we talked about his project, and what he’d need me to do, and he said he’d find out when he’d need me to model and I said I’d check the schedule, and that was it.” He shrugged. “He showed me some sketches, talked about the kind of things he usually makes. Nothing like that at all.”

“He didn’t strike me as the shy type,” Robin mused, and Steve laughed as he stacked books.

“I don’t think he’s shy, I just think he’s not interested in me like you think he is. You always think people are interested in me, and they’re just not. He’s nice, though, and funny, and if things go well with Chrissy we’ll probably be seeing him around, so I’m glad we can maybe be friends.” He grabbed a pile of new magazines to put out in the reading room, and Robin followed him with newspapers.

“I don’t always think people are interested in you, I just think you’re too quick to assume people aren’t interested in you. Lot’s of people think you’re attractive, you just blow it off.” She picked up the old papers and stacked them in the bin for older issues. “Just give it a little more time before you write it off and start giving out those friends-only vibes.”

Steve stared at her indignantly. “That is not even a thing, Robin. Or, at least, not a thing that I do.” He examined a magazine with a torn cover, and decided it was old enough to go in the recycling. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket as he walked back to the desk, leaving Robin to mutter to herself as she rolled away the cart to reshelve books, and he pulled it out to check the screen. 

“Hey, got the dates for the show,” the text read. “It’s going to be the 29th, which is a Thursday.”

Steve held the phone below the level of the check out desk, hiding his hands from view, and quickly tapped out a response: “Let me check the calendar; I’ll let you know in a minute.”

He opened up the scheduling program on the computer and scrolled forward through the weeks until he found what he was looking for. There was nothing blocked out, and he picked his phone back up. “It’s open,” he said. “Do you just need that day, or should I do the one before, too, in case something comes up?”

The dots for typing popped up, and Steve waited. “As much time as you can give me,” the message came through. “I’ll try not to make it too much of a crunch, but things can get a little crazy.”

Steve clicked in the boxes for the Monday through Thursday to put himself off, hesitated for a minute and clicked on the Friday, too. Maybe they’d celebrate after, it’d be nice not to have to show up to work hungover. “Okay, I took the whole week,” he texted back to Eddie. “So I’m free from that Monday on.”

Steve waited for the dots to pop up on his phone, but a patron came up before they started again, and he dropped the phone into his pocket. Eddie was busy, he wasn’t just sitting around waiting for Steve to text him, he reminded himself, in spite of the disappointed feeling.

There was sudden flurry of work to do - two elderly men had gotten into a fight over a newspaper and had to be separated, an overwhelmed young mother had brought her children in, and the older one had promptly thrown up on the rug and the baby started wailing, and a frustrated job-seeker needed help with logging into a website to do an interview. Steve and Robin had refereed the fight and found another copy of the paper, Robin had cleaned up the vomit while Steve had bounced the baby and let the older kid climb up and swing off his arm and the mom had a very cathartic cry in the restroom, and then Steve had fixed the job-seekers tie and gotten him into his interview in time. 

Steve collapsed back behind the circulation desk, and waved Robin off to her break. She had classes in the afternoon, and if she didn’t eat something now she wouldn’t eat all day. He checked his phone, and saw Eddie had replied. “Seriously? You’re a lifesaver, but you don’t want to waste that much vacation time on me.”

Steve’s eyebrows drew together in a frown, and he set the phone on the counter while he checked someone out and thought. He was still thinking when Robin came back and peeked over his shoulder at the screen. “You took a whole week off?” She said too loudly, right next to his ear, and he pushed her away. 

“Don’t yell in the library,” he chided her automatically, then closed the text app on his phone. “Is that weird?” He asked. “I have too much time built up, I figured I might as well take it and be around if he needs any help with anything. It must be really stressful, right?”

“Probably,” Robin agreed, perching on the edge of a chair behind the counter. “And if he doesn’t need any help, you can just relax for a change. So why do you look upset about it?”

“I don’t know,” Steve admitted. “It just took him a long time to text back, and it just seems... off? Like if I say it in my head, it doesn’t sound like his voice?”

Robin stared blankly at him. “Do you always hear people’s voices in your head, Steve?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “You know what I mean,” he snipped. “It just feels weird.”

She slid off the chair and spread her hands. “So text him back? Ask if he’s okay?” She started down the hall to get her things before heading to class. “Or, you know, just pretend not to notice it like everything else and worry yourself to death without doing anything.”

Steve stuck his tongue out at her, then looked back down at his phone hesitantly. He didn’t want to overstep - he barely knew Eddie, and there was the added pressure of not seeming like a weirdo to someone who would hopefully be around for awhile, if Robin and Chrissy started dating - and they were meeting after classes to study, so Steve thought it looked promising and had refrained from teasing Robin about it, even when she had frantically cleaned the apartment for the third time. He did draw the line when she tried to invade his room. “She’s not going to be in my room, Robin. It’s clean enough. Go find some grout to scrub.” He’d been joking, but the tub was cleaner than it had ever been.  

“It’s all good,” he texted back. “I’ve got too much vacation built up, they’re going to force me to take it soon, anyway. I’d rather use it for something fun than just sit around my apartment with nothing to do.” 

“If you’re sure,” Eddie texted right back. “I don’t want to impose when you’re already doing me a favor.”

Steve’s heart clenched a little - he knew how that went. Don’t want to impose, don’t want to assume, don’t want to be a bother, make yourself as quiet and undemanding as possible - it didn’t fit Eddie at all. “If you think that’s an imposition, you don’t know Robin well enough yet,” he texted back, then impulsively started a new text before Eddie could respond. “Chrissy is coming over to study with Robin tonight, if you don’t have plans, why don’t you come over, too?”

“Too scared to hang out alone with those two?” Eddie texted back with a laughing emoji. “I can come rescue you. What’s the address?”

Steve gave him the address, adding that he was out at five and to just show up whenever he was free - they’d probably order Chinese around seven so it showed up at eight - why thirty minutes always took sixty for their building was one of the mysteries of life for everyone who lived there - and no, he didn’t need to bring anything. 

Robin hurried back past the desk, and Steve had his mouth open to tell her Eddie was coming over when she turned back to him with a wave. “Just stop being a baby and talk to the guy,” she ordered him. “You can do it,” she coaxed him in a babying voice, and he flipped her off, deciding to let it be a surprise. 

“Now that you mention it,” he texted Eddie, “bring some beer with you. We’ll probably need it.”

The rest of the day went by with the usual mix of reassuring routine and sudden crisis that is typical to working in public spaces, and Steve groaned when he settled into his car to drive home. Quick shower, change clothes. He thought for a minute and amended his list. Clean my room, quick shower, change clothes. Should have let Robin clean it when she wanted to. 

He toed his shoes off at the door, then carried them into his room and stowed them away with his work bag. He straightened his desk, putting books away on the bookcase and trying to make the book-binding supplies scattered around look organized as best he could - he couldn’t take the book out of the press yet, so it would just have to sit there. Nobody was likely to come in his room, anyway, and you couldn’t see it too much from the door. Steve made his bed every morning, the habit so deeply engrained that even therapy hadn’t been able to budge it, so aside from gathering up his laundry there wasn’t much else to do.

He took his shower before he dumped the laundry into the washer, pleased with knowing that for a minute he had no dirty laundry at all. That was probably something else he should have talked about in therapy, but it hadn’t seemed important compared to the things that had gradually stopped waking up him in the middle of the night, trying to scream with no sound coming out. Not that he’d really talked about all of those, either, he thought as he pulled on a pair of jeans and examined his closet, looking for anything that wasn’t a librarian sweater. They’d done a lot of what they called ‘unpacking his religious trauma’ - which later research on his own had told him was about gently getting him to let go of the group, because people that had been in groups like that - cults, he knew - were often way more programmed than they thought they were.

That, he reflected as he settled on a gray striped tee that he thought might have been his dad’s at some point, was not the problem he had. He had gone along with whatever they needed him to while he was at the farm, but he didn’t know if he’d ever really believed in it. It didn’t seem to matter if he did or not, as long as he did what he was told, not that he’d apparently been very good at that. 

He shook his head, going back into the bathroom to dry his hair. This wasn’t the time to dwell on any of that, he told himself. He’d just bring down the mood for everyone if he was mopey and in his head, and Eddie was coming to hang out. He perched his glasses on his face and debated shaving, since he could feel the stubble dusting his cheeks, but decided he didn’t have time. 

Steve heard Robin and Chrissy come into the apartment, the rustling of jackets and happy chatter filling the otherwise silent space with warmth. He joined them in the living room, smiling when Chrissy had given him a huge grin and wave. “Hey,” he said in return. “How was class?”

Robin groaned from inside the refrigerator, and Chrissy giggled. “It was a nightmare,” she complained, emerging with a bottle of wine. Steve grabbed two glasses down from the top shelf for her, and shook his head when she silently offered the wine.

“I’ll wait,” he said, as the doorbell rang.

“Wait for what? Did you order already?” Robin filled the two glasses and Steve opened the door with a smirk.

“Hey, come on in,” he took a step back to usher Eddie inside, and took a brown paper bag from him so he could shed his jacket. “You’re just in time for school complaints and ordering food.”

“Perfect timing, then,” Eddie said as they rounded the corner into the kitchen and found the two girls staring at them in surprise. “Hi,” he said, taking the beer Steve held out to him. 

“You didn’t tell me Eddie was coming over,” Robin said accusingly to Steve, who shrugged and looked smug.

“You didn’t exactly give me a chance,” he argued. Eddie caught on that something sibling-related was going on, and he leaned his elbow on Steve’s shoulder and canted his body forward mockingly.

“Maybe we were keeping it a secret, and you two are spoiling our plans,” he suggested, a wicked grin popping a dimple into his cheek as his eyes sparkled.

“Right.” Robin scoffed, and Chrissy shook her head.

“Eddie is terrible at keeping secrets,” she added. “He tells you right away when you ask.”

“I think they’re mocking our secret relationship, Steve,” Eddie said, looking up at Steve from his tilted perspective. 

“They are,” Steve said, reaching out to take the beer from Eddie’s hand and open it for him. He paused a second before taking a long drink and sliding it back into Eddie’s hand. “So rude,” he added, smiling as Eddie’s smile got even wider. 

“First they spoil our romantic evening, and then they make fun of us.” Eddie dropped his elbow and leaned against Steve, batting his eyes at him. 

Steve grinned, sliding his arm around Eddie and making a soothing noise. “They’ll just never understand that star-crossed lovers need their privacy,” he said with an exaggerated shake of his head. 

Eddie looped his arms around Steve’s waist, his grin bordering on manic. “Maybe we should just go out, instead,” he suggested, snuggling his face into the crook of Steve’s neck. “Dinner, dancing, a walk under the stars?”

Steve laughed, sliding his hand down Eddie’s arm to capture his hand and lead him in a few spinning dance steps. “Dancing sounds good,” he agreed, as Eddie laughed with delight. “But we could stay in and still do that.”

Robin faked a gag from behind them, and Steve shot Eddie a warning look before dipping him low. Eddie cackled at the girls, looking at them upside-down from Steve’s arms. “Complain all you want, but I’m the one dancing,” he said, and everyone laughed as Steve eased him back upright. 

“If you’re done being mean to me now,” Steve said haughtily, “we can order Chinese and place our bets.”

“Bets?” Chrissy asked Robin as she and Steve both pulled the menu up on their phones. She looked at Eddie, who shrugged, his face still flushed as he sipped his beer and looked at Steve over the rim of the bottle.

“They always tell us it’ll be half an hour, and it’s never less than an hour,” Robin told them. “So we bet, the loser has to clean up.”

“I say 65, it’s a Monday,” Steve said. “Slow night, they’ll get here quicker.”

“No way,” Robin countered. “It’s a slow night, so they’ll have fewer people working. 80.”

Chrissy laughed as she looked back and forth between them. “They both make sense,” she told Eddie, who nodded.

“I am going to go with 45 minutes,” he announced. “I’m feeling optimistic tonight.”

“Touching faith in human nature, but you are going to be cleaning up,” Robin said mercilessly. “Chrissy? Don’t make the same mistake,” she advised, and Chrissy laughed again.

“I’m going to go with 70. Because that way I can’t lose.” Eddie made an offended face.

“You traitor, now neither you nor Steve can lose,” he said, and Steve held up his hand for a high five that Chrissy happily returned. “I see how it is,” Eddie said sadly. “Another relationship on the rocks because of gambling.” He flung the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically. 

“No, baby, I promise I’ll change,” Steve said to another round of laughter. He handed his phone to Eddie. “Come on, I’ll buy you crab rangoon.”

Eddie took the phone, scrolling through the menu. “I will take your bribery crab rangoon,” he agreed, “and beef lo mein.” 

Steve looked at Robin and Chrissy, heads together over the phone, and waited. “Okay, okay - egg rolls,” Robin said, looking at Chrissy, who nodded. “Spring rolls, pot stickers, and two sides of rice.” 

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “All appetizers, solid choice,” he approved. “And for my man?” He cooed at Steve, who felt his ears turn red immediately.

“Pad Thai,” he said, finishing a list and dialing the phone.

“I bet he knows them,” Eddie whispered to Chrissy, propping his elbows on the island and his chin on his hands, looking up at Steve with the bright-eyed anticipation of a child.

“Hey, Don, it’s Steve,” he gave Eddie and Chrissy a confused look when they laughed. “Yeah, delivery, please,” he said, rattling off his order. “You guys busy? Great, see you in thirty,” he said before hanging up. “What was so funny?”

“You really do know everyone,” Eddie laughed, shaking his head. Steve shook his head and started getting out plates and utensils.

“I really don’t, we just order from there more than we should,” he said. “Eat out here or eat in the living room?” He asked. 

“Living room,” Robin said. “Chrissy and I are going to get some work done before it gets here,” she told them, and the girls brought their glasses into the other room.

“That’s a hint,” Eddie hissed to Steve, who nodded.

“A very subtle one,” he said sarcastically. “Well, let me set this down here,” he said, piling dinner goods on the coffee table and heading back to the kitchen. “Eddie, do you want to sit out on the balcony? We can watch the delivery guy get lost in the complex.”

“Sure,” Eddie grabbed the beer and followed Steve. “I’m easy to please.”

“You are not,” Chrissy yelled down the hall after them, and Eddie held a middle finger up behind him. 

Steve opened the slider to the small balcony off the kitchen and stepped out, leaving the door open behind them. “Our lovely view of the parking lots,” he gestured grandly. “But it’s nice to have a place to sit outside, even if it’s cramped.”

“I wish I had one,” Eddie agreed. “I should have brought something to smoke with me,” he eyed Steve for a reaction.

“Next time,” Steve said easily, and Eddie relaxed.

“So - does the delivery guy have a crush on you, too?” He teased, and Steve blushed.