chapter 2
I didn’t rest
whatever small amounts of sleep I got
didn’t satisfy any need
when I opened my eyes I didn’t look at him
not yet
i stared at the door handle
wondering how badly it would hurt if I flung myself out of it
at this speed and as if he could read my thoughts he said
“good morning sunshine, if you’re thinking about jumping out of this car be my guest.
But, just know it will hurt like hell, and ill come and get you afterward”
his tone was serious
“what do you want from me? we just met there’s no way in hell you felt the need
to protect me when you don’t even know me. so stop with the bullshit and tell me the truth”
I needed to hear the truth
my gut was telling me he’s not a bad guy
but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous
and I needed to know if I should run or not
although the events of yesterday prove I should run
“after those men in the store, you think you can survive alone?” he scoffed
“I’m not talking about surviving. I’m talking about why you actually want me to stay “
he gripped the steering wheel harder
“fine.”
he took a deep breath “when I saw you on that bridge, that wasn’t the first time I saw you “
I could feel my heart beating I’m my ears “I saw you a few days earlier when those men cornered you and-“
I didn’t wanna hear what he was about to say next “stop”
I managed to get out
and he listened surprisingly
“I knew if I approached you after that”
his tone changed slightly. it was more comforting
“ you would not trust me so, I waited”
I took steady breaths
“did you see what they-“ before I could finish he answered
“No. when I was on a hill, by the time I got down you were gone and there was a body”
I didn’t owe him an explanation but I needed to tell someone
“the others….they were preoccupied doing things, scavenging.”
I looked out the window
“While all of them were distracted I reached for the knife tucked in my waistband and I stabbed him”
I felt like I was reliving all of it while telling him
he was quiet for a moment
“good girl. he deserved worse “ he was radiating anger “if I got my hands on him first he-“
he stopped talking
his hands gripping the steering wheel
“I don’t understand you” I bluntly stated
the words slipped out of my mouth before I could properly think
he glanced at me, his eyebrows scrunched but not in confusion. maybe in shock
“you say you want to protect me, that you wanted to kill those men for hurting me yet you also hurt me “
I knew I didn’t owe him an explanation
“I’m not perfect,” he said in a tone that made me feel like he was sorry in a way
“well yeah obviously” I snorted and I could almost see his lip twitch in a smile
“Listen I didn’t mean to hurt you. But, this world makes you brutal. It tears you down and when you try to get up, It stomps on you” he sounded pained
“I promise I won’t hurt or lash out at you again.” he looked at me
“even if you like it,” he said smirking
“Sorry to disappoint you. But, I’m not a masochist” maybe that was a lie
“we’ll find out about that Darlin” he chuckled “now I suggest you get some actual rest”
I nodded, not feeling the need to speak
I wasn’t gonna fight for now
I shifted to a comfortable position
If anything goes wrong, I still have my knife tucked in my boot
and I was not afraid to use it