Misery's Business
1936
When (Y/N) and Bucky were on their way to visit Steve and see how Sarah's health was doing before he was shipped off again, (Y/N) started to get a bad feeling that started deep in his gut. He didn't know what it was, he just knew he couldn't shake it. He gave Bucky a concerned look that he received back. It made him feel slightly better that he felt it too and he wasn't alone in the feeling of dread that filled him. He resisted the urge to grab Bucky’s hand to seek some comfort as they walked. When they got to Steve's house, they saw a few policemen standing around and someone rolling out a gurney with a black body bag. His heart dropped and before he knew it, his feet carried him quickly to the scene only to be stopped by an officer. “Who.. who's in the bag, Officer?” He said softly, not truly trusting his own voice. The officer gave him a sympathetic look before sighing. “Sarah Rogers.” Was all he said before going back to his clipboard, talking to the other officer with him. He choked back his tears as he held a hand over his mouth. Bucky placed a hand on his lower back for a moment before spotting Steve. He gently pulled him in his direction, waiting for Steve to stop talking to the officer. When he caught their gazes he excused himself from the officer and walked over to them. “Hey Steve. You okay?” Bucky asked softly as he put a hand on his shoulder. Steve looked like he was just barely holding himself together for both the sake of his friends and because he was still in public. He simply just shook his head a bit and cleared his throat a bit. “It took her last night.. I didn't even know.” He said quietly before lowering his head a bit. (Y/N)'s heart broke for him and he battled the urge to hug him and try to console him. (Y/N) cleared his throat and nodded slightly. “Do you.. do you want to come over? At least for a little while? Get you away from people?” He said softly, just wanting to help him in some way. Steve just nodded slightly and let (Y/N) and Bucky lead him back to their house. He didn't even fully make it past the threshold of their house before the tears began to fall. As soon as the door was closed Bucky went off to prepare some drinks and (Y/N) was hugging him, bringing him over to the couch. Without thinking, he pulled Steve into his lap as he hugged him. Much to his surprise, Steve hid his face in his shoulder as he cried softly. He rubbed soft circles on his back and whispered words of condolences and reassurance as he gently rocked them. Bucky sat the drinks on their coffee table in front of them before taking his seat next to them. (Y/N) immediately noticed how red his eyes were and knew that he was trying to keep himself strong enough for everyone. Bucky scooted as close as he could and wrapped his arms around the both of them, giving their heads a few kisses before he lowered his head, leaning it against (Y/N)'s.
For (Y/N), Sarah was the closest thing to a mother he had since losing his own as a child, and even though Bucky's mom was really nice, she was no Sarah. Sarah was an angel on earth and he didn't deserve her. For Bucky, she was a second mom to him and someone he loved as much as his own mother. And for Steve, she was his everything. She raised him after his father died, put herself through long shifts and dealt with things nobody should've dealt with, all to raise him the best she could. She loved the three boys so unconditionally that it hurt.
(Y/N) managed to convince his superiors to give him a week for the funeral and the ceremony and he was so relieved that he could’ve cried over it. In fact when he was alone, he did just that. It wasn't long after that, that Steve held the funeral for her, burying her next to her husband. (Y/N) and Bucky ended up finding him soon after the burial as he was walking home. “We looked for you after the ceremony.. we wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery.” Bucky said as he followed Steve up to the apartment. (Y/N) stopped half way up to give them space. Steve sighed softly before brushing his bangs out of his face. “I know, I'm sorry. I just.. kind of wanted to be alone.” Bucky nodded a bit and looked back at (Y/N) who gave him a small smile and shooed him towards Steve. He gave him a smile in return before continuing after Steve. “How was it?” Steve shrugged and moved his bangs again, slightly annoyed with them at this point. “It was okay. She's next to dad.” Bucky shoved his hands in his pocket, looking slightly worried. “I was gonna ask..” he trailed off and Steve spoke up. “I know what you're gonna say Buck, I just..” he shook his head as he walked up to his door. Bucky tried to put on a big smile. “We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids, maybe make a pillow fort on the bed. It'll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash and help (Y/N) with dinner.” (Y/N) sighed softly as he walked up the stairs a bit more. “Bucky, come on.” He raised his hands in defense, only trying to lighten the mood a bit as Steve struggled to find his key in his pocket. Bucky kicked the brick by the guard rail, revealing the spare key to the apartment. He picked it up and gave it to Steve. “Come on? It'll be just the three of us.” Steve looked down at the key, nodding a bit before looking back up at Bucky. “Thank you Buck.. but I can get by on my own.” Bucky sighed softly and put his hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thing is, you don't have to. We're with you till the end of the line.” He said sincerely as (Y/N) walked up behind Bucky with a loving smile on his face and his arms loosely crossed over his chest. “You don't have to be alone Stevie. You got us. I know we ain't much but, you guys are all I have too. We just wanna be there for you Stevie.” Steve looked between the two of them and gave them a sad smile before nodding slightly. “I.. okay. okay. You guys win.” He said before opening his door and going in, leaving it open for them. They helped collect whatever Steve wanted to keep and brought it to their truck. “You sure you don't wanna bring anything else?” (Y/N) pushed slightly as he stood next to Steve in the now slightly empty living room. Steve cleared his throat slightly and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I'm sure. I have most of mom's stuff and I took what I wanted of mine. The landlord can get rid of the rest if they want to but I cant.. I can't touch anything else.” (Y/N) nodded slightly and rubbed his back a bit, letting him rest his head on his shoulder for a moment. “If you want, I can get some work friends to come over and put everything in our basement? It'll be safe there and you won't lose anything. If you want that is. It is your choice after all.” He said softly before pressing a hesitant kiss to his hairline. Steve thought for a moment before lifting his head and giving him an attempted smile. “I.. I would appreciate that really.. we can go through it all when everything is less.. recent.” (Y/N) nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly. “I'll give you a few minutes to say goodbye to the place if you want. Just remember your key so they can get in later.” He said softly and left Steve to collect himself for a moment. He got in the front seat and sighed softly. “Steve said that I could get some friends together to move all the stuff in there into our basement for now.. I don't know what else I can do for him.” Bucky held his hand gently, causing (Y/N) to look over at him. “All we can do is be there for him. Give him time to grieve and process it, some space, some love. It's all we can do, sweetheart.” He said before kissing the back of his hand. They slipped into a somewhat comfortable silence before Steve climbed into the back seat. Without thinking, (Y/N) slipped his arm back towards him, holding his hand out for him. Steve felt a small smile form before he took his hand, giving it a small squeeze. When they got to their house, (Y/N) helped bring in everything before leaving and closing the door behind him, going over to "his" side he shared with Michelle to keep up appearances. When (Y/N) left, Steve gave Bucky an odd look. “Where did he go?” He said in utter confusion. Bucky laughed softly before taking his hand and leading him somewhere. He stopped in front of the bookcase and placed a finger over his lips. Steve shook his head, ready to demand to know where (Y/N) went when he saw the bookshelf move towards them. (Y/N) popped out and gave them a small smile when he saw that they were waiting for him. “Oh.. Hi ya fellas. Come here often?” He said jokingly while making sure he moved the bookcase back against the wall, hiding the secret passage. “What.. in the world was that?” Steve said with a small head tilt and a slightly awed expression. (Y/N) gave him a small laugh before pecking Bucky’s cheek. “I forgot we never told you. Bucky and one of his friends had this made while I was off. It was sorta already here but Bucky and him expanded it to the other side where the girls live. It's how we go back and forth so no one knows or suspects we're anything but straight. It was actually Dot's idea when she saw the place, wasn't it?” Bucky laughed as he slipped his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Yeah. Girls got some brains in her. She's pretty smart.” (Y/N) nodded a bit in agreement. “That she is. God bless Michelle for her patience. Dot.. that woman is a handful.” (Y/N) said as he slipped out of Bucky’s arms and walked towards their guest bedroom to get Steve's stuff in place. Steve let out a small sigh as he thought while being pulled behind Bucky. 'Maybe.' He thought. 'Maybe, everything's gonna be alright after all.' He smiled softly as he watched (Y/N) bounce around excitedly as he started to set up Steve’s stuff.