Chapter 39
Anneliese begun working at Stark Industrials as an assistant to Mr Launders, the secretary to the vice-chair. As an assistant, she would do everything that no one else wanted to do: run to collect coffee; carefully fold documents into envelopes; standing around the corner with a glass of water if Mr Launders needed it for his boss.
She didn't mind her job. Although, it was often mind numbing and her father referred to it as a waste of her time and skill. Anneliese enjoyed those simple days. It was in a time where her name was not known and she was free to talk with the other women - all in a similar position. Where the only fear was what colour blouse to wear and if the coffee was too cold by the time she passed it to Mr Launders.
She stayed in that position for well over a year. The pay wasn't great but it was better than most other jobs for a woman. Even better was the lack of security clearances for the job; none questioned her forged birth certificate.
To be a women was a disadvantage already but to be German was a death sentence... especially just after a global war.
She remained hidden for only a year.
That was until her direct supervisor, Mr Launders, was fired. She could still remember sitting in a small recreational room and talking about it: of the social outcry, the gossip that filled the magazine, and how they would all change how Stark Industrials was handling the "cover up".
Just a few words changed her life. It was always only a few words.
By the end of the day, Anneliese was sent to the office on the very top of the building; the female assistants called it Icarus' tower. For the inhabitant was a man who flew too high in the sky; his smile was the sun.
Word had made its way around the company of the conversation between Anneliese and some of the other women. But it was one of her bolder statements that set her apart. It was foolish for her to speak out in such a way, but it was freeing, oh, so completely freeing.
'No one understood gossip better than a woman, yeah?'
A single sentence was all it took to seal her fate. She watched with a tight smile as Howard Stark pushed a new contract in front of her. It would be the first of many more contacts. She didn't sign straight away as she glanced at her new direct superior - no longer the strict Mr Launders from before but the vice-chair himself, Alexander Grey.
She would be trained for three months by Alexander... not that he helped with the training but the creation of gossip... and then she was to be on her own. Within a year she was permitted the ability to fire and hire staff as she sees fit.
It always only took a few words to make the mightiest fall and so, it wasn't a surprise that it only took a few words by the man across the table to make her world exploded in colour. Just as he had when she signed that first contract as the head of public relations.
Now, she's seated across from the same man. And so she studied him: His posture was slightly hunched over; his neck lead towards his sharp jawline; his cheekbones were high - as if Icarus raised them as he went to touch the sun; his eyes were glancing at some hidden dust on the table - unable to lift them a fraction higher to meet hers.
The silence persisted. She listed to the tick-tick-tick of the old grandfather clock as the arm moved from six in the morning to seven. But neither moved - Anneliese didn't dare to speak first. She was lost for words. Unable to think of a way to fix the mess the both of them ended up in. All it took was a few threatening sentences in a letter which resulted in more words.
These words were punishing. Forcing them together indefinitely. There would be no escape from the consequences of their own actions.
Anneliese's eyes dropped to the table. Overwhelmed by the entirety of the situation. Did Howard choose not to speak because he regretted his decision? Is his silence of his own choosing or was he just as lost as she was? And what had happened to the tip-toeing around one another when the topic of love ever came up?
Such thoughts didn't live long as Howard cleared his throat whilst running his fingers through his hair. Raising her eyes to meet his, she noticed how his hair lacked any hair product - allowing it to run free in all its curls and might.
Avoiding his eyes was impossible and the softness of them evoked something deep within - the gate was gushing past... nothing could stop it. Familial duty, a sense of self-hatred, and a faction of self-sabotaging would not be able to prohibit what was next to come.
"A secret for a secret?", Howard said slowly.
Anneliese blinked and had no opportunity to reply before he spoke.
"I'm ambitious, completely lacking rationality and I can occasionally act out of impulse," His lips quirked up as he spoke. "I speak before thinking, I do as I please, and I have no sense of duty outside of my own self-pleasure. I always play the saviour card when watched, I will always choose exploration over confinement, and I have a tendency to choose some pretty poor decisions. What am I?"
The question rung aloud - the most words Howard had spoken to her in the past few days - if she excluded the conversation that created this entire mess - and it was a game? It was cryptic, it was dangerous, and Anneliese was a master of such games.
His eye brows knitted together as Anneliese took a deep breath and replied in the same calmed voice.
"Yourself," She whispered, "If that isn't the most damning definition of what makes Howard Stark... I don't know what is."
Something twinkled in his eyes. It was a dangerous light - perhaps it was the light one saw before death gave their final kiss.
"And because of such characteristics, and I am sure you have same pretty damning ones yourself, we have gotten ourselves into an even bigger mess. So let's begin."
Howard pulled out the letter and Anneliese's eyes instantly was glued to it. Examining each crease, the beige colouring, and the looming threat these few words could be.
Deportation. Not just for her, but her father. Deportation. She would be at the mercy of her uncle and the rest of her extended family.
He sighs before he speaks again, making quick work to break the mental spiral Anneliese was experiencing.
"I understand I may have overstepped my boundaries with this small problem," he chuckled nervously as she remained silent. "But I do promise my intension was true."
There was a small pause and Anneliese glanced up to him and she swooned. He was waiting for permission to continue, to speak, and a small beg for forgiveness.
"I should have told you the second those letters appeared in my hands as it was never my decision to make. There is no excuses, no punishment, and no words that will ever fully explain my apologises."
Anneliese interrupted, "You could start now." Her voice was still only a whisper as she brought her hands to rest on the table. Her fingers were shaking as she twisted the new diamond ring on her finger. "You could begin by explaining what your plans are now. To explain what will happen to us, to me, to this diamond ring. You could just explain it all. I am here now, and that will simply be enough time to explain it all. I just need to know."
Her rambling was cut short as Howard reached over the table and enclosed her hands with his own. His thumb gently massaged the nook of her finger as he leaned closer to her and whispered.
"And you will sweetheart... every bit of information will be given to you. Do you trust me?"
Anneliese hesitated. Trust was a fickle little thing. It was rooted in every misgiving and crime she had ever witnessed. It was dipped in the darkest poison and constantly used as a weapon of mass destruction - that was, both intimately and globally. To trust was to be foolish. But if humanity were not fools, what were they? It was impossible to not be tempted by his words and the way his eyes remained sharp on her.
Was this how Eve felt when the snake offered her the apple? Is this how humanity was always doomed. Just from a simple 'do you trust me?'. Trust was passing your life to another. It was allowing them to hold it, cherish it, and strengthen it whilst praying they don't destroy it.
Anneliese always considered herself a fickle little thing - identical to trust. But she wasn't immune to the temptation like all humans. She wanted to be trusted and to trust. So the answer came with a simple nod - an action that narrowed her fate to exactly one.
Howard grinned as he squeezed her hand gently. "Great. Let's begin."
This would be the middle of her story. Doomed from the beginning. Doomed from the middle and the conclusion was open to any sort of ending.
"My plan, though selfish and foolish, was to make it seem impossible for you to be a spy"
She laughed. The first laugh to leave her lips in hours, days, if not - maybe even a week.
"And how would you be convincing the public that I am not a spy? If you cannot convince your head of departments that I didn't sleep my way to the top?"
The question rung around the room but it fell on Howard's deaf ears as his grin grew.
"There is nothing more convincing than a romantic ending."
A few words were always enough.
"You don't mean-" Anneliese begun but was cut off by Howard.
"We are to pretend to be getting married."
"Married", Anneliese repeated after him. Letting the words sink into her mind before she spoke again. "And how would that convince the government that i'm not a spy?"
He chuckled as he squeezed her hand again. "I need you to trust me on this one."
"Howard..." Anneliese said lowly.
"You're to leave the company," he said quickly. "You will no longer be allowed to work at Stark Industrials."
Her mouth dropped open.
He persisted on. Detailing the entirety of his plan. "Just for the remainder of the war. Instead, you will be playing the biggest part of them all - the dutiful fiancee. You will finally be able to study science in your spare time with no questions asked... only if you wear a lab coat of course."
"And what if I dislike this plan?"
Both of his hands let go on hers as he scratched as his head again. Muttering loud enough for her to hear, "I did say it was a foolish and selfish plan - as you would have to make all the sacrifices."
There wasn't even a moment to think as the telephone on the table rung loudly, causing both Anneliese and Howard to jump. The two eyed one another as only one man had the phone number for this phone and neither wanted to pick it up.
News would have already arrived back in America where Alexander grey's smug face was.
She watched Howard hesitantly pick up the phone and answered it with a "Hello?"
Alexander's chuckle was so loudly Howard instantly pulled the corded phone away from his ears and held it in the air.
"So you finally did it hey," Alexander said, "Oh, and by the way, you're on American radio."
Anneliese truly hated Alexander.
"And why would you do that?" Howard asked.
Another loud chuckle came from Alexander as he replied, "Mr Kennedy-Jones, the radio presenter by the way, wanted to ask about your engagement and I figured there was no one better than the two very people." A pause. "Is Anneliese there?"
Sighing loudly, Anneliese spoke. "Hello Alexander, Hello Mr Kennedy-Jones"
Leaning back onto her chair she stared at Howard as he raised an eyebrow. He was a majestic view - every inch of him was perfect in her eyes. She was certain he was cut from clay from the gods themselves but she knew to say such a thing surrounded by a man of science was a foolish thing.
"All of America wants to know what pushed Mr Stark to propose," Mr Kennedy-Jones asked, "Especially in such a dramatic and public manner."
Anneliese raised her eyebrows at him as he did the exact same. Daring the other to speak. She won. She watched as he eloquently described what was running through his mind and it was so god damn believable - that there was truth to it all.
He maintained eye contact as he spoke, "I guess we all get to an age where losing the other would be crushing, and time is a fickle little thing. So I just decided to drink the poison and have fate decided how long we get and not the lack of my own trying. There is a deep feeling between the two of us, more than love and certainly deeper than such. I guess, she is half of my soul and I am certain the poets she so dearly loves would say the same."
The line was silent before Alexander spoke, again. "In simpler terms, Howard finally got the balls to ask."
Anneliese didn't pay attention to the rest of the phone call as she analysed his very words. They weren't deeply romantic but calculating. It was written in the language that Anneliese spoke the best. It was a message within a message - he was declaring to the public and to the government that they were the same. Together.
Leave it to Howard to manipulate the press to meet his ends needs.
The telephone was eventually placed back down and the called ended and they were in silence again. So this time, Anneliese would speak first.
"A secret for a secret?"
He nodded his head so she begun.
"My whole life I never understood the simplicity of love or meaningful relationships. They were transaction - a thread to be cut into small to string out the lies of others. I am fearful and I am lonely in this tragedy of worlds colliding. I do not understand what this means, what you mean, and how I can come to understand it."
"Trying has left me even more confused. I know it cannot just be friendly affection but a greater feeling - as if, and only if, that this neglect has left me incapable of understanding such grand gestures and the small touches. It is chemistry knitting in some way. I am tangled in this thread - unable to escape. I see it all as a golden string read to be knit: over and under, side-by-side, and in an out. I watch as it reaches- stretches- yearns for another. A thread dyed red by blood."
"I have never been afraid of someone as much as you. Perhaps that was what this feeling is - fear."
The words echoed around the room and Howard sighed, a smile lifting his lips once more.
"It is impossible with you, completely and utterly impossible."
"And what does that mean?" Anneliese asked in a small voice.
He gently grabbed her hand again as he twisted the diamond ring on her finger. "How can you not see? I have loved you every single day. I will always love you. I meant every word of it. You are half of my soul."
He stood up, still holding her hand as he walked around the table and kneeled right in front of her again. "I fear love is often compared to falling from heights, but for you my dear? I would jump anywhere to be with you."
Before Anneliese could think, she spoke. "You love me?"
"Always have, always will."
Time consumed them as she stared as him for what felt like the millionth time that day. Lost in thought and Anneliese could only come to one conclusion.
"I fear this will become a tragedy," Anneliese whispered.
Howard's face moved an inch closer to her own, "But all the best tragedies have the greatest romances."
He was completely intoxicating as his eyes glowed. They looked as vodka felt. Warm, comforting, and completely radical.
"Will you still be able to love me, even if I am the poison?"
His lips were mere moments away from her own as he whispered, "My darling curse, my greatest sickness, if you're the poison then I am yours for the taking."