Chemical Poison

Anneliese was falling fast. Much faster than she ever anticipated. And she wanted to go faster, to fall harder, and to let it engulf her completely. She wanted to be greedy. To relish in a luxury that came at such danger. To fall without fear and to keep falling even as the ground grew closer. She wanted it all. If it be the present or the future. She needed to know if she could keep falling.

As Anneliese was falling fast towards the ground, and she simply had lost the will to care.

For all that mattered was that the ground was the same colour as his eyes, and nothing brought her more peace than his hazel brown. So, she was falling towards the ground. Against her better judgement. Against the tides of the war. Against the imagery being of rationality.

None of this was cold. It was filled with a burst of warm energy. A bounty of heat that couldn't be let go. A powerful source of fire that she fuelled. It was the flames she had craved so much.

This was beyond rationality with her entire collected frame collapsing. She was losing her path, her identify, and her entire existence. A Lorenz did not love, they fought. They were fighters. They were warriors, and they were agents of scientific discovery. She was letting go of everything and she still lacked the will to stop it. To stitch it back together. 

The worst of it was the fall wasn't even calculated into the equation. Anneliese never expected to jump willing. She was always afraid of heights, but there was nothing terrifying about this. All of it, the jump, the adrenaline, and the fall; None of it was calculated and question. No variables were thought of and no new suggests plagued her mind. 

She was falling, and that was all the seemed to matter. Anneliese was falling, for what would be the first time. And she allowed herself to fall.

And she fell. Her forehead resting against Howard's as their lips remained moments apart. Confessions weighed like lead. And Anneliese was barely hanging on a thread. If before was chemistry knitting? This was the poison. The sickness. As she was in a haze - unable to escape. 

Intoxicated perhaps. Derailing most certainly.

The only fact amongst the fiction of falling was Howard's shallow breaths. The soft rasp of his throat as he reminded her to breathe, to be, and to continue falling.

They were only moments away, only a sheer second.

But Anneliese was a lost solider and a moment away was many miles within her mind. Their were hurdles uncrossable, thoughts unspeakable, and notions that Anneliese prayed would never come to pass. With falling a certain fear was attached - not so much the falling or the crushing sensation of connecting to the natures skin - but the fear of still breathing after.

What was there before him that led her to continue breathing? What will there be after he passes? Who was she without Howard? 

And then the dread arrived. The secret long forgotten but never erased.

Perhaps this love wasn't love.

Nor was it intoxication.

Or desire.

What if it was the punishment of her parents. The sentencing of her past crimes? The torture she is to endure indefinitely. 

It was obsession.

Certainly, undyingly, and most atrociously. 

She was nothing better than Schmidt, a man obsessed with her mother. A man that saw no future without her - if it was her mother dead or alive. Johann was not a man of love but addiction. A product of his own environment. 

She was nothing better than her mother. The woman that taught her to never let go of those she loved. To hold them so tightly that they cannot leave you - that suffocation is the only option. And she must not be any better than her father, always droning on about the past.

The past had haunted Anneliese for far too long... and she feared the past would remain to haunt her. To stay by her side in ways that no other being could. Her personal ghost. 

Howard could easily become an addiction. An obsession.

And Schmidt's had a long brutal history of the lengths they were willing to go to ensure they kept what they considered theres.

"Ana," Howard spoke wistfully. His lips brushed against hers as he spoke her nickname that she adored terribly. "What are you thinking about."

The impending insanity in her thoughts. She was doomed. Forever-

"I need you to stop thinking," He continued just as gently, "I need no answer from you right now. I have enough love within me to do the loving for the both of us."

She was falling. She was certain. Surely she was falling towards love - for what else could evoke such strong feelings?

"I understand that you're complicated and that is okay," He paused as his lips brushed against her lips again, "I like complicated."

If it wasn't love? What could it possibly be?

Howard leaned towards the side of her lips and kissed the skin gently before pulling his forehead from hers. There was more space between them now. So much space. She was falling, if not for love but within her own mind.

"It's time to learn to be okay for the questions without answers," He spoke softly as he raised from his chair. Once he was standing, he offered his hand as he raised his eyebrow. "Their is something beautiful in the unknown. It leaves room for adventure, discovery, and advances in fields that seemed impossible only yesterday."

She took his hand.

"Let's focus on what we do know."

Anneliese lifted a small smile as he spoke. Howard's voice was magnetic - able to pull her from the deepest trenches within her organised mind. To be able to find her in the maze of her memory and provide the tools for her to rescue herself. Although she disagrees with his statement - that there was nothing more terrifying than the unknown. He was right.

They had to focus on what they did know.

And there was certain to be a press field day outside their hotel room, especially as the clock ticked closer to nine o'clock in the morning.

"We are late", Anneliese whispered.

"We are indeed late", Howard replied with a growing smirk.

Panic set in once Anneliese realised Howard was already dressed to leave and she was not. The ongoing twenty minutes resulted in screaming between the two of them as they rushed together to get Anneliese presentable. There was simply not enough time for Anneliese to do her makeup, hair, and steam her clothes within the timeframe to not be too late.

It left her with only one choice.

Howard was in charge of choosing and steaming her clothes whilst she did her hair and makeup. It was terrifying as Howard asked questions that only left her growing with anxiety. If the conversation before was unbearably uncomfortable before it became comfortable - this was a new extreme.

He had just asked how to use the iron.

Anneliese was about to have a full on panic attack.

As she curled the final strand of hair into the hair roller - Howard finally presented his choice of clothing. And Anneliese definitely had a reason to be worried.

It was her yellow blouse with a somewhat low neckline - definitely low enough to show off the pearl necklace that looked nothing like her usual necklace. And the skirt was long, which was an unexpected surprise, and a deep brown that matched his own pants. 

Maybe she underestimated him because he had selected the black heels she often wore due to how comfy they were. Perhaps, she needed to learn to trust Howard with her clothes.

Anneliese instantly dismissed the thought.

Howard's lips narrowed into a curved grin before he spoke, "Instead of gawking at my impeccable fashion taste - I recommend to hurry up and get changed. We have-" He paused to look down at his watch, a gold and red style she had never seen before, "About four minutes."

She grabbed the clothes before she shooed him out of the bathroom. Ensuring she slammed the door loud enough to make a point. Clearly, said point was ignored as he continued to laugh and yell "Tick Tock" as she hastily removed her sleeping gown and dressed herself in the clothes Howard choose.

Looking into the mirror, she decided she hated Howard more than anything. Especially when she would have no option but to say his decision was actually a good one. His ego would inflate to unrecognisable heights.

Clicking the clasp together on the mysterious pearl necklace around her neck, she quickly put the matching pearl earring and bracelet on as well. She looked good... too good.

"I did a great job, didn't I?" Howard said as he leaned on the now open door.

Turning around sharply to face him, Anneliese instantly shoved her finger into his chest as she yelled, "I could have been naked!"

He chuckled, "You say that as if that would have been a bad thing."

Removing her finger from his chest, she folded her hands together and made a small 'ahem' sound before brushing past him harshly. His laughter followed her as she grabbed her bag from the small round dinning room table. She waited at the entrance as Howard lazily walked towards her.

Once he was in front of her, he raised her chin with his finger and smiled softly. "Ready?"

Anneliese nodded but before she could speak he leaned down quickly and kissed her on the lips. Completely caught off guard, Anneliese was made into stone as he leaned away. The softness being eradicated to make room for his arrogance. 

Before she could lecture him on his actions he had already opened the door and begun walking down the hallway towards the elevator. Anneliese had to walk faster, loosing any dignity she had to catch up to Howard. She just made it into the elevator, where Howard and three security personal she couldn't recognise stood, just before the doors closed.

If it wasn't for the men in black behind her, she would have slapped Howard.

"We have a car prepared out front, sir", one of the men said unmoved.

Gazing up to Howard, she watched him nod before he replied.

"And the crowd?"

"Bigger than anything expected."

His eyebrows knitted together and she knew he was thinking on information he had not provided her. It was infuriating. Hadn't this whole situation started because of a lack of communication between the two of them?

Howard mumbled a few words under his breath before he spoke one final time as the elevator doors opened. "They know the plan, correct?"

Suddenly, Howard held onto her hand to keep her from walking through the door. Allowing two of the security personal to exit first before they left the elevator. Anneliese was beyond confused and dared to raise an eyebrow at Howard.

He had obviously realised that she was confused but certain to grow furious if he continued to say nothing.

"They had informed me both last night and this morning that crowds had gathered."

"And you didn't inform me?", Anneliese whispered back harshly as she noticed a crowd gathering. The noise only seemed to grow with each footstep.

He shrugged as he spoke, "You were already stressed enough, I figured you'd hate me first but come to forgive me."

Anneliese elbowed him in the ribs as she replied, "What happened to no more secrets?"

She watched as his grin return to his lips.

"Sweetheart, this was all planned before such a deal was struck."

Mumbling under her breath a slur of insults: rat, dirty business men, all men are the same, egotistical prat. She couldn't help but smile as Howard chuckled to each and every one of them.

Just as they reached the door, Anneliese's anxiety increased astronomically. The crowd was much bigger than she ever anticipated. Never had she been so thankful for Howard's scheming behaviour. As a car was indeed waiting for them in front with no press or person prohibiting entry.

Howard opened the back door for her and she entered. He followed shortly after.

It would take a couple more minutes to move the crowd enough to drive safely. But none of it stopped the rampage from Anneliese. He had lied - though in the best interested for herself. He had omitted the level of press coverage within London and she couldn't image the heart attack Miss Cotton would be having now.

"You're such an arrogant prat", Anneliese mumbled as the car begun to move.

Howard had leaned into her ear, whispering: Do you mean your arrogant fiancé?