The Reign of SHIELD's Agents
Avengers Chat:
3:10 pm, July 25, 2024:
Mayday: Uh, Daisy? Are you going to add the Avengers back to their own chat?
Skyenet: Nah. This is an awesome troll. They aren't being added back until somebody (preferably Stark) begs to be
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: That's a little harsh, don't you think?
Mayday: I like it
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Why? What do you have against my team?
Mayday: What used to be your team. They did think you were dead and are currently pissed at Fury for not telling them otherwise...
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Same difference. And you and they both know that I was dead.
Mayday: Even more reason for them to be pissed at Fury
Skyenet: Can you please stop arguing like one of those old married couples on TV?
Simmons: I hate to say this, but I agree with Daisy
Skyenet: Why do you hate to say that, Simmons? I am a perfectly likable person!
Simmons: Sure, you are. I just meant... some of your decisions have been... questionable?
Skyenet: Like that's not true of everyone here!
Fitz: What's that supposed to mean?
Skyenet: Do you see this, Fitz? Of course you don't, but this is me making a "do you really need to ask that question" face.
Fitz: Like what?
Simmons: AIDA...
Fitz: Again, AIDA was a good idea in theory
Simmons: How was an android - a sentient android, mind you? - ever going to be a good idea when basically given ultimate power?
Fitz: I didn't give her ultimate power! What even makes you say that I did?
Skyenet: Well...
Simmons: You gave her divine power over a virtual universe! What did you expect would happen?
Skyenet: It just occurred to me that the Framework was something like the Matrix. It also occurred to me how much I could use it for... certain purposes
Fitz: Like f***ing?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Language
Skyenet: Language
Mayday: Language
Simmons: Language, I guess
Fitz: Et tu, Simmons?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Using the fancy Latin, I see
FRIDAY: Language
Doctor Strange: ...Language
Fitz: Wait, isn't this supposed to be the Avengers chat? Where are the actual, you know, Avengers? Or even any of their associates? Besides the incompetent wizard, of course
Simmons: Also, and no offense, my lovely husband. but why did you censure your language?
Fitz: I didn't
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Scroll up in this chat, and you'll see the answer to your first question
Fitz: Oh. Really, Daisy? How do you even know that it's weird alien beer? You're not on Earth, so it isn't human, but it could be a completely alien substance. What makes you think that it was beer, in particular?
Skyenet: It was labelled as beer. Or the alien word for beer, anyway
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: It could be an inexact translation
Skyenet: Fine. I knew I shouldn't have drunken a weird alien alcoholic drink of some kind. Happy now?
Fitz: You're certain that it had alcohol in it?
Skyenet: Yes!
Fitz: But how did alcohol even develop in a completely different ecosystem than Earth's?
Simmons: We should conduct experiments...
Mayday: Oh no...
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Fitzsimmons conducting experiments on space stuff could be very destructive...
Skyenet: I'll send you some. I want the results, though
Skyenet: Also, Stark has a filter on all cuss words. Apparently because "there are kids here" - even though the kid in question is a teenager and sometimes uses cuss words. We think the real reason is that he's trying to have a no profanity streak
Mayday: It's hilarious the lengths that he will go in pursuit of that really weird goal, by the way
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: It isn't that funny
Skyenet: I agree with Coulson
Mayday: Really, Daisy? Betraying your SO in favor of your CO? I taught you martial arts!
Skyenet: Yes, but I wasn't disagreeing about it being funny. It's hilarious, but the Stark's actions aren't what makes it funny
Mayday: What does, then?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I think that Daisy's choice was a good idea. Her Commanding Officer outranks her Supervising Officer, after all
Mayday: Are you really bringing up rank?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: You did that too!
Fitz: Is it just me, or May and Coulson fighting?
Simmons: Fitz. They're only mock fighting. They are acting very parental, but that isn't anything new
Skyenet: Anyway, the funny thing is that the other Avengers have tried to get around this filter, and their methods of doing so are hilarious.
Fitz: Wait, what do they do?
Skyenet: You'll see, once they figure out how to unblock themselves
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: What if they can't do that?
Skyenet: Then I'll undo the block myself. I'll give them three weeks to prove their worth...
Mayday: And, until then, this is our own private chat...
Skyenet: Indeed
Doctor Strange: I exist too
Skyenet: Except for the incompetent wizard. Why isn't the incompetent wizard blocked, FRIDAY?
FRIDAY: Your drunk self wanted him to contemplate his sins of inaction here...
Skyenet: I agree with my drunk self
Fitz: I hate to say this, if only because Daisy normally has really weird ideas when drunk, but I also agree with her drunk self
Simmons: I also agree with her drunk self
Skyenet has given Doctor Strange admin status
Skyenet: I want to see what he'll do
Doctor Strange has changed Fitz's display name to Skyenet Sycophant Number 1
Doctor Strange has changed Simmons's display name to Skyenet Sycophant Number 2
Skyenet: That action will be getting into Stark's memory somehow
Skyenet has removed Doctor Strange's admin status
Skyenet has changed Skyenet Sycophant Number 1's display name to FITZsimmons
Skyenet has changed Skyenet Sycophant Number 2's display name to FitzSIMMONS
Skyenet: We're going to need to give Fitzsimmons better names