In Which Things Are Actually Talked About
Avengers Chat:
12 pm, July 25, 2024:
Capsicle: This chat is mysteriously silent
Skyenet: I have to say, I wasn't expecting Captain America, of all people, to complain about that
Nat: Well, he is nowhere near as much as a goody-two-shoes as he likes people to think
Capsicle: Is this about the prank - that I still didn't do, by the way?
Mischief: Cap, stop trying to lie. You're abysmal at it
Mayday: Is he worse than Thor?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Why is that relevant? This has nothing to do with Thor's alleged dreaminess, does it?
Mischief: Well, most of Asgard agrees that Thor is hot. I still don't see it, but whatever
Bird #1: But can he lie, though? I mean, it's not like I've ever lived with him or anything
Witch: Yeah, it's not like we were living like those weird fanfics where everybody lives together as one big, happy, and dysfunctional family
Tony Stank: Not like we were, although everybody was welcome to crash at the tower
Nat: Except in the aftermath of the Ultron incident
Tony Stank: I didn't get to finish my thought because I had to drop my phone. Anyway, it's kind of like those fanfics now, though, isn't it? All of the Avengers being required to live in my tower that I almost sold...
Nat: Wait... you almost sold the tower? Stark! That place has spiritual meaning!
Tony Stank: It has what?
Skyenet: Spiritual meaning, and that was me
Nat: Yes, it was. I know how you feel when she consistently hacks you now, somewhat
Tony Stank: How does it have spiritual meaning?
Skyenet: It has meaning to the fanbase, obviously. Even the United Nations agrees with me here
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: She's telling the truth, there
Black Widow #2: Wait, what?
Skyenet: See, the UN made this part of the so-called "rogue Avengers's" pardon. They all have in the Avengers Tower with Tony Stank. If they're not already like a big, happy, and dysfunctional family, they will be soon
Pepperoni: Tony! Put your phone down! You have a meeting to be at in two minutes
Skyenet: Imagine having an actual job outside of hero work
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Hero work is our job, Daisy
Skyenet: I just thought of something... how do the Avengers get paid? They're not an official organization, are they? I mean, they used to be a SHIELD initiative, but that died when SHIELD fell for the first time... so how do they get paid?
Mayday: Maybe they're like those people who get paid for knowing rich people
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I wouldn't put it past Stark to just fund the entire Avengers Initiative by himself, truthfully, but he would only do that when they were on good terms...
Mayday: I have no clue how the former "rogue Avengers" got paid when they were officially rogues
Tony Stank: Why do you say they were only so-called rogue Avengers and use quotes?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Because we didn't like the Accords as originally written
Capsicle: They were unconstitutional!
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Not why I disliked them
Skyenet: And, quite frankly, Cap, that's irrelevant. The violation of the Geneva Conventions in the Raft and lack of a trial are better things to be worried about (and those are gone now). The well-being of the world overcomes the rights of the few
Capsicle: What does that mean?
Popsicle: I think that she's saying that enhanced individuals can be dangerous
Bird #2:Can be is understating it, but I still have problems with ignoring laws for convenience
Tony Stank: Cap was fine with doing it when it was SHIELD
Capsicle: That was a youthful mistake
Badass Former Agent Lady: Not all of SHIELD was evil, as I'm sure you know
Tony Stank: oh, right, Hill's in this chat. uh, it's rude to kill your boss
Badass Former Agent Lady: Did you seriously forget I was in this chat, Stark? Just for that, I'm letting handle things with Steve all on your own
Skyenet: I mean, it's not like they actually killed the registration. Someone needs to know where all enhanced individuals in order to ensure that they aren't a danger to others or themselves. It's a very good thing that that's not in the hands of politicians, though
Tony Stank: Wait, what? Why?
Capsicle: Have you already forgotten how many politicians were secretly HYDRA?
Tony Stank: What's up with HYDRA anyway? And, yes, I do. I can see that point, but... having people with powers run around without any kind of oversight... is a bad idea. In ancient times, if people showed signs of having weird powers, they were either a god or a demon... and, really, that viewpoint hasn't actually changed much. The choice was when and how, not if
Capsicle: Fair point, but rights should've been considered. No clue about HYDRA, actually. Ask the SHIELD peeps?
Spidey: Yes! Cap's first use of slang in the modern age...
Mayday: HYDRA is dealt with, permanently
Nat: Wait, you're certain of this?
Black Widow #2: That's not a light statement to make...
Badass Former Agent Lady: I wasn't aware of this, either
Skyenet: Hill should've known... but, anyway, cults don't generally outlive their gods
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: To be fair, HYDRA did
Mayday: Barely
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Which was still enough to cause serious problems
Skyenet: I remember this series of events. Can we use the Time Stream to figure what actually happened?
Mayday: Unless we go back again, I doubt it
Tony Stank: What are you guys talking about?
Former Director: I think we should add in more SHIELD agents. Stark's ego deserves this dive
Tony Stank: What's that supposed to mean?
Former Director: You'll see
Badass Former Agent Lady: This'll be good
Skyenet has added Leo Fitz
Skyenet has added Jemma Simmons
Skyenet has changed Leo Fitz's display name to Fitz
Skyenet has changed Jemma Simmons's display name to Simmons
Badass Former Agent Lady: Is that Fitzsimmons? This'll be interesting.
Simmons: Daisy, why did you add us to the Avengers's group chat?
Skyenet: To bring down Stark's ego