The Cure To Death And Secrets Are Revealed
Avengers Chat:
5:10 pm, July 24, 2024:
Witch: Did you guys know there was a cure to death?
Former Director: MISS MAXIMOFF!
Nat: Uh, no. Fury, there's a cure to death?
Former Badass Agent Lady: Might as well get it out of the way now, Fury. Cat's out of that bag.
Skyenet: Unfortunately. Also, there's not currently a cure to death
Former Director: There isn't?
Mayday: We blew it all up. Well, the facility holding it, anyway
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: It's better off destroyed. The side-effects were terrible
Black Widow #2: You can bring back the dead? Dang. Did SHIELD have this tech? And, therefore, could HYDRA currently have it?
Popsicle: Nat's sister has a point
Former Director: *Sigh*
Former Badass Agent Lady: Yeah, that actually might be a problem
Former Director: The other Romanoff has an excuse. However, Hill, you should know better. You know that I didn't tell anybody I didn't fully trust about the GH-325
Former Badass Agent Lady: I also know that you might've trusted HYDRA members
Skyenet: Don't worry. Although HYDRA did know about the GH-325 because they found it when we were looking for it to cure me (I'd gotten shot twice in the chest - it's fine now)
Former Badass Agent Lady: Wait, then, how are you fine?
Skyenet: We'll tell you in the Old SHIELD chat. That we'll create in a few seconds
Mayday: It's created now
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: We blew all of it up, as I said. I didn't trust it
Former Director: That's fair
Skyenet: Although we can harvest more, considering that we know what species the blood came from
Former Badass Agent Lady: Because starting a war with an alien race is such a good idea
Nat: Are they jerk aliens?
Black Widow #2: More important question - are they powerful aliens?
Skyenet: They're Kree. Yes, they're jerks
Asgardian: You have bad experiences with Kree?
Skyenet: Yes
Mayday: We've killed many. We can easily harvest their blood
The Old SHIELD Chat:
5:34 pm, July 24, 2024:
Mayday has added Skyenet
Mayday has added Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore
Mayday has added Former Director
Mayday has added Former Badass Agent Lady
Mayday: Now we have a chat for when we need to talk in private
Former Director: So some people won't be revealing classified information again?
Former Badass Agent Lady: You should definitely watch Maximoff. I don't want a potentially insane superpowered guy running around because his sister decided his death was unjust. Even if she's right
Skyenet: Good call
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I'll keep an eye on the Witch. Daisy, footage?
Skyenet: I have it
Mayday: Should we do identity reveals? It will be the perfect time
Mayday: Again, I'm down if Coulson is. There are still plenty of ways to prank the Avengers even if they do know our identities
Former Badass Agent Lady: And there's the old May back. It's nice to see you like that
Former Director: Well, they know about the resurrection drug, but I'm leaving the compound prior to your reveals
Former Badass Agent Lady: Why? Are you afraid? Is the great Nicholas Joseph Fury afraid?
Mayday: Did Hill just full-name Fury?
Skyenet: She did. And now I know the Former Director of SHIELD's middle name...
Former Director: This information doesn't leave this room
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I can make no promises. Anyway, I guess I'm okay with it now
Former Director: Et tu, Coulson? And, anyway, Hill, of course I'm afraid. We're about to reveal to a group of superpowered beings that the person who brought them all together got resurrected by me (against his will, but can we please not mention that?) and I didn't tell them for years
Former Badass Agent Lady: That's your problem. I'm playing the "just following orders" card
Avengers Chat:
5:40 pm, July 24, 2024:
Tony Stank: What'd I miss?
Capsicle: Yeah, what did we miss?
Spidey: I would've expected the unintentional Hamilton reference from Cap, honestly
Capsicle: What's Hamilton?
Nat: We can cover that later. You missed Fury hiding stuff capable of RESURRECTING THE F*CKING DEAD
Tony Stank: Dang. Where can I get this?
Former Badass Agent Lady: It's all destroyed
Tony Stank: You have - or had - a resurrection drug, and you destroyed it!!!?
Skyenet: Extenuating circumstances, Stark. Extenuating circumstances
Tony Stank: You knew about this?
Skyenet: Of course. I was there when it blew up
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Not that you remember, considering that you were dying
Skyenet: It was temporary, everyone. I'm fine
Mayday: I can assure you that she is
Capsicle: It's good that it is destroyed. You shouldn't play God, Fury
Skyenet: hahaha - should we tell him?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: No. Absolutely not. This is hilarious
Tony Stank: I'm still being trolled, aren't I?
Skyenet: Yep
Tony Stank: Also, Skyenet was SHIELD?
Nat: Yes, Stark. Have you not been paying attention, or did you just forget about all of the information that we were stockpiling?
Capsicle: BURN!
Popsicle: I'm so proud...
Tony Stank: Have you and Peter been chatting over DM's or something, Cap?
Capsicle: Yep
Spidey: It's very fun!
Mayday: You know what? Let's do identity reveals right now!
Skyenet: Agreed
Former Director: Where's the nearest exit from Stark Tower?
Tony Stank: Why does Fury want an exit?
Skyenet: You'll see
Nat: Fury has fully left
Former Director has left the chat
Skyenet: Alright. It's Agent Daisy Johnson of SHIELD
Nat: Quake? Have you read...
Skyenet: Yes. We aren't talking about that
Mayday: Agent Melinda May of SHIELD. My username is not subtle, and I'm ashamed that neither Natasha or Clint noticed that!
Nat: Sorry
Bird #1: I thought that might've been it, but you've been off-radar. Can we do pranks soon?
Mayday: Oh, yes...
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: ...Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD... ish
Tony Stank: What?
Nat: What's the "ish"?
Skyenet: I can explain this
Capsicle: Please do
Skyenet: So Fury resurrected Coulson after Loki killed him and eight days had passed. He died again later, so our scientists uploaded the scan of his brain into a LMD that was crossed with alien technology
Tony Stank: There are so many problems with that sentence