In Which (Almost) All of the Avengers Get Trolled (Part 1)
People Who Are Trolling the Avengers:
1:15 pm, July 24, 2024:
Skyenet: Okay, so we have three of our targets down, but we must decide what to do to others
Loki: Are we trolling Thor?
Mayday: When you guys get to Earth and complete all the required paperwork
Loki: Wait, paperwork? There's required paperwork?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Of course there is. There always is
Mayday: Also, Loki, fair warning - once you get to Earth, you're an acceptable target to everyone else - for pranking only, of course
Former Director: Wait, wait, wait. You mean this prank war will have backstabbing?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Of course. It's a prank war. Everyone's fair game, although the official prank war doesn't start until the Asgardians reach Earth
Loki: I approve
Former Director: Coulson, you won't prank me, will you?
Skyenet: Honestly, he probably will. He has get revenge on you for resurrecting him unethically somehow
Mayday: So watch your back
Witch: What? I'm not even going to ask. Anyway, I have an idea for another prank on Romanoff, if you'll hear it
Skyenet: What is this idea?
Witch: When we were on the run, I heard her complaining about her - and I quote - "stupid, criticizing sister". I recommend we add her to the Avengers group chat and watch the chaos
Former Director: Romanoff has a sister? She never told me this!
Skyenet: I could probably get her number from Natasha's phone, though
Loki: Invoking sibling rivalries. How wonderfully diabolic of you
Former Director: What's that supposed to mean?
Loki: Nothing
Mayday: we have any other ideas for pranking Cap, then?
Skyenet: I hacked the Spiderkid's phone
Witch: And this is relevant to pranking Cap why?
Skyenet: His texts complain about "Captain America PSAs"
Loki: PSAs?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Public Service Announcements
Mayday: So we should post these in full view of the other Avengers?
Skyenet: Exactly. And I'll stream to us so that we can view the reactions
Loki: I'm confused. Why is that a prank?
Skyenet: The PSAs are probably like pep talks - and this kind of thing is almost always really cheesy
Former Director: ...Cap filmed PSAs and didn't tell SHIELD about it? The nerve...
Skyenet: He was probably too humiliated to talk about them
Former Director: Which is why he should have told me - I would've made SHIELD Agents watch them! Then he wouldn't be the only one humiliated
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I just had a great idea - that I will be private messaging Daisy and May about
Loki: Why not just tell us?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: That would ruin the surprise!
Former Director: Can we please shorten Coulson's name?
Skyenet: Maybe when the Avengers figure out our identities
Mayday: I just pulled off the hair changing prank. For some weird reason, Natasha showers at two in the afternoon
Avengers Chat:
2:30 pm, July 24, 2024:
Nat: STEVE! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
Tiny Stank: What did goody two shoes Cap do?
Nat: He pranked me!
Capsicle: What? No. No, I didn't
Bird #1: Cap, why would you prank Natasha? Even I'm not that stupid
Capsicle: I DIDN'T PRANK NATASHA AND I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE THINKS I DID!
Nat: YOU DIDN'T, HUH? THEN WHY IS A NOTE THAT SAYS "ENJOY THE GREEN HAIR - CAPTAIN STEVE ROGERS" NEXT TO MY F***ING SHAMPOO?
Capsicle: I DON'T KNOW!
Spidey: Do you guys have to speak in all caps? We all get you're angry
Bird #1: Steve! Did you hide my arrows?
Capsicle: What? No!
Bird #1: But you pranked Nat...
Capsicle: I didn't prank Nat! I was framed!
Tiny Stank: This is beautiful
Vision: I wonder if you will still think that when you are pranked, Walking Ego
Capsicle: ...I suppose we need to work on Vision's timing
Tiny Stank: Nice to see that you remembered my nicknaming lessons, although you're not supposed to use them on me
Vision: You said to use them whenever I have a point to make to someone
Popsicle: Stark. You gave Vision nicknaming lessons?
Witch has joined the chat
Skyenet has joined the chat
Loki has joined the chat
Former Director has joined the chat
Mayday has joined the chat
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore has joined the chat
Skyenet: What'd we miss?
Capsicle: So it wasn't you
Mayday: What wasn't us?
Capsicle: Apparently somebody hid Clint's arrows and framed me for doing something to Nat
Skyenet: What did they do?
Capsicle: I don't know
Nat: Don't act innocent, Cap! You know you dyed my hair green
Loki: Ah. I thought that my mischief senses were tingling
Former Director: How does Barton get around?
Nat: The vents... but he knows better than to prank me. And he got pranked as well, so it wasn't him
Bird #1: I appreciate your faith in me, Nat
Bird #2: And you wonder why we all used to ship Clintasha
Nat: IT IS A SIBLING RELATIONSHIP!
Popsicle: Yeah, we get that now
Nat: Now, since it wasn't the people trolling Stank - good job, by the way - I must trust the note
Nat: STEVE, YOU ARE GOING TO PAY
Tiny Stank: *grabs popcorn*
Popsicle: You willing to share?
Tiny Stank: I'm feeling nice, so yes. Although shouldn't you be more concerned about your friend getting beat up by a superspy?
Bird #2: Hey, I want popcorn too! And Steve deserves a beating every once in a while. It helps keep his ego down
Capsicle: I HEARD THAT
Tiny Stank: I mean, technically, you didn't hear anything
Capsicle: FINE, I SAW IT
Bird #2: Good. I have to support my man's decisions
Popsicle: And this is revenge for all the times you made me worry by putting your scrawny little butt in danger!
Bird #2: You'll be fine
Capsicle: No I won't. I'm being chased by two very angry superspies!
Tiny Stank: You'll live
Skyenet has added Yelena Belova to the chat
Yelena Belova: What is this?
Skyenet: The Avengers's group chat - and why is your display name your full name? Let me fix that
Skyenet has changed Yelena Belova's display name to Black Widow #2
Nat: You had to add her. Wait, how do you even have her number?
Skyenet: Your phone needs better security
Witch: And somebody needs to keep you on your toes
Nat: Wanda!
Tiny Stank: Yeah, Wanda. I'm betrayed. How dare you plan on trolling Natasha without telling me? We could've made it even better by sharing ideas
Capsicle: And I thought he was going to reprimand her for being immature
Former Director: Well, since we're adding people anyway...
Former Director has added Maria Hill to the chat
Maria Hill: Really, Fury? The Avengers's group chat?
Tiny Stank: Well, it's supposed to be the Avengers's group chat anyway
Tiny Stank: *cough, cough* @Skyenet, @Mayday, @Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore, @Loki, @Valkyrie, and @Black Widow #2
Former Director: I have taken to viewing it as a good thing. I can finally get revenge for all the cr*p the Avengers have put me through
Maria Hill: Why aren't you cussing?
Former Director: Everybody repeats "Language" every time anybody cusses
Maria Hill: Anyway, if I can get back at the Avengers for their PR disasters, I'm all in
Former Director: Excellent!