Training Day (Part 4)
Avengers Chat:
11:42 am, July 28, 2024:
Ego The Size of Jupiter: So... apparently Fury can fight
Capsicle: Yep. He apparently isn't a total wimp
Mayday: You do realize that you're talking about the ex-director of SHIELD here? Spies can generally fight
Skyenet: And he will be able to see this chat once we're done
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Cra... erm, crud
Bird #1: This censor is just getting sad
Bird #2: Yes! Bucky! Cream him!
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Wait, we can pick sides now?
Capsicle: Whose side would you pick?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Well, Fury is an interfering d*ck, but Barnes did kill my parents
Capsicle: Under mind control. By HYDRA!
Nat: Yeah, I thought we were over the whole you-killed-my-parents-prepare-to-die spiel
Bird #1: Nat, that is a terrible name
Ego The Size of Jupiter: We are! That doesn't mean I have to like Barnes!
Mayday: Skye? Can you get us video footage of the Avengers's training room?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Good idea
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Ha! You are foolish! My security would never allow that
Skyenet: You mean the same security that protects your Starkphone group chats from getting hacked?
Loki: Send me the footage. I want to see this fight
Ego The Size of Jupiter: She's not going to get the footage because I'm going to improve my security
Skyenet: Too late. I'll post the footage on our trolling chat
Capsicle: Trolling people is mean
Spidey: Uh, Cap? Pretty sure that we're the ones being trolled
Capsicle: So?
Skyenet: So we won't stop just because someone that we're trolling tells us to
Capsicle: Go Buck! Punch the lying son of a b*tch who failed to notice HYDRA in his own organization
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Well, it seems like me, @Skyenet, and @Mayday have a few things to talk about
Mayday has left the chat
Skyenet has left the chat
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore has left the chat
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Why did they leave so quickly?
Capsicle: And why now?
Bird #2: Your comment about Fury, Cap! Obviously!
Capsicle: But why would they care about my insults toward Fury?
Nat: I mean, those could also be construed as general insults toward SHIELD. And we will be talking about them later!
Capsicle: Okay, Nat
Witch: Really? No rebellion at all? Not even a sarcastic comment? Who are you and what have you done with Steve Rogers?
Bird #1: He probably thinks that he can escape Nat's wrath by pretending to be apologetic
Nat: He better not try that
Capsicle: Wanda
Witch: I told the truth as I saw it. Isn't that the "right thing to do"?
Capsicle: Don't... don't
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Is Cap shutting down?
Capsicle: Don't... use
Bird #2: Can't even get a full sentence out, it seems
Capsicle: Don't use my own words against me, Wanda!
Popsicle: Fury and I have paused our duel until you PAY ATTENTION TO IT
Ego The Size of Jupiter: And you call me a drama queen
Bird #1: I mean, you are. It just seems to be a trait that you share with Bucky.
People Who Have Died At Least Twice:
11:45 am, July 28, 2024:
Mayday: Coulson!
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: What? We do have a lot of things to talk about now
Skyenet: Yes, but having everyone storm out of the chat makes us seem really suspicious. Especially since we know that they know that we know Fury
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: May left first! I left last!
Skyenet: Yeah. Because we didn't want to be spammed with messages from that chat
Mayday: Did you get into the security cameras?
Skyenet: Of course, but we're supposed to be talking about Coulson's recklessness
Mayday: Cut him some slack, Daisy. He did just find out that his childhood hero isn't perfect
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I never thought Cap was perfect, and, if I ever was that naive, that died on the Hellicarrier. I just didn't think he hated SHIELD
Skyenet: I doubt he hates SHIELD. He's just pissed at Fury
Mayday: And, if he does hate SHIELD, I'm sure Natasha will talk him around
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Sure. She'll just "talk" to him
Mayday: It shouldn't be fatal? The injuries should just be minor
Skyenet: Okay! I think that we have our decision and can get back to the Avengers Chat now
Avengers Chat:
12:00 pm, July 29, 2024:
Skyenet has joined the chat
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore has joined the chat
Mayday has joined the chat
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Great! I thought that we had finally gotten rid of these guys!
Skyenet: Well, that's not very nice
Mayday: So how's the spar going?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Amazingly. Fury has managed to turn the tables on Barnes again. Barnes is about to have a gun to his head. It's awesome
Mayday: I wasn't aware that you liked former director Fury?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: I like him more than I like Barnes
Capsicle: Things are nowhere as one-sided as Tony made them out to be. Buck is completely holding his own
Bird #1: Didn't you bet Stark that this battle would be over in ten minutes with Bucky as the victor?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Yes, he did. I made some money off this fight at least
Capsicle: You're a billionaire. What do you need money for?
Bird #1: Clearly he just wants to experience the job of winning
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Yes! What Birdbrain said!
Bird #1: What? No. Sam's Birdbrain. I'm Legolas!
Nat: Guys, they just dropped the guns and are now fighting with swords
Bird #2: Swords? What's the point of that? At least Bucky will cream Fury
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I wouldn't count Fury out so soon
Nat: And now they've dropped the swords and are just fighting with their fists
Nat: So they should be about even... evenly bad
Nat: Or not
Mayday: And... Fury wins
Bird #2: That was so not a fair fight
Former Director: It was perfectly fair. Also, really, Cap? You're supposed to be better than such petty insults
Capsicle: Sorry, Fury