Training Day (Part 3) and The Trolling Squad expands
Avengers Chat:
11:00 am, July 28, 2024:
Skyenet: How go those "personalized obstacle courses" Black Widow was talking about?
Nat: Badly, considering that no one is actually doing them
Mayday: You should just start listing punishments that they'll get for not doing these courses
Nat: That isn't a bad idea...
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: No! Please no! I have so much left to live for
Capsicle: Is anyone surprised that Stark thinks that working out will be deadly?
Bird #2: Steve... that was probably just Stark being dramatic
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: I'm NOT dramatic
Popsicle: Right...
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: No other engineer/scientist has to do workouts on assigned training days
Former Director: Fitzsimmons begs to differ
Skyenet: Fury! Information that could give away my identity shall not be stated in the hacked chat!
Former Director: Please. I doubt that Stark has even heard of Fitzsimmons. His ego is too large to consider that other scientists might be like him
Nat: Is it just me, or did Fury just roast Stark?
Spidey: I think he did... Truly today is a glorious day
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Betrayed by my own protege...
Popsicle: And you say that you're not dramatic
Capsicle: Nat... why is the end of my obstacle course an ice cube?
Nat: They're personalized obstacle courses, and you were frozen in ice...
Capsicle: Bucky's doesn't end in an ice cube!
Former Director: I mean, technically, Barnes wasn't frozen for decades. He was just occasionally frozen by HYDRA
Bird #2: What happened to HYDRA anyway?
Capsicle: They went down with Strucker, didn't they?
Skyenet: No. No, they didn't
Witch: They didn't? Why did they not hunt me down then? They did say that they would find me and Pietro if we ever left... HYDRA hates defectors
Skyenet: They had other problems
Witch: Like?
Skyenet: Trying to free their god
Former Director: SHIELD Chat. Now
Skyenet: Or you could read the files...
Skyenet has left the chat
Former Director has left the chat
Nat: Hey! I actually learned a lot from that exchange!
Bird #1: Like what, Natasha? Like what?
Nat: Skyenet is or was a SHIELD Agent
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Which only narrows it down to several thousand people
Nat: Right. Now, obstacle courses...
Popsicle: I'll start
Bird #2: If you finish successfully, I'll do something nice for you.
Popsicle: Like a date?
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Yes! My ship is sailing!
Bird #2: Yes
Capsicle: What is a "ship"?
Nat: I'll tell you later
Bird #1: Damn. He just hit that bullseye from 3 miles away. I didn't even know the Winter Soldier could shoot a bow. He's nowhere near as good as me, of course...
Bird #2: Clint. He's a sniper, you numbskull
Mayday: The area where you are training is large enough that you can shoot from 3 miles away?
Bird #1: Yeah, but the ability to shoot guns doesn't always correlate to the ability to shoot bows
Capsicle: And he prefers "White Wolf" now
Bird #1: And I refuse to call him that on the grounds that only one character gets to be called that
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Birdbrain's a GOT fan? I mean, I knew that he liked Lord of the Rings, but Game of Thrones?
Bird #1: Ahem. I am an ASOIAF fan. GOT is an insult to those books, and the ending sucked.
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: On that, at least, we can agree
Nat: Guys. Focus. Bucky just reached the end of his solo course, so we need to choose someone to fight him before he is done
Bird #2: I would be too easily distracted in such a fight...
Spidey: Why?
Bird #1: You see, child, when a person loves another person but they refuse to admit their feelings and are in close physical contact with one another...
Spidey: Okay, okay. I get it! TMI, Mr. Barton
Bird #1: Do you want to see two people firing at each other from a distance and nothing else?
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Such a fight involving me would be unfair...
Nat: You can use your suits
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: I'll consider it
Capsicle: I refused to fight my best friend when he was still a HYDRA assassin. Why would I be willing to fight him now?
Nat: Because it's a training match?
Capsicle: Nope
Nat: Wanda?
Witch: I would use my powers on accident
Nat: These excuses are getting lamer and lamer. Fine. Vision?
Vision: Why are we doing this over text? ALL OF US ARE IN PERSON, AREN'T WE?
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Texting is easier
SHIELD People Who Are Trolling The Avengers:
11: 17 am, July 28, 2024:
Former Director: HYDRA had a god?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Daisy. You revealed that in the Avengers Chat?
Skyenet: Yes
Former Director: Did you at least stop HYDRA from releasing their god?
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Nope, but... I'll let May tell you
Mayday: We managed to kill it
Skyenet: Like the badasses we are
Former Director: Yes to adding Wanda (with NDA's) and Loki to the squad and good job
Skyenet had added Witch
Skyenet has added Loki
Mayday: First of all, Wanda, print and sign these NDAs
Mayday: (NDAs to sign)
Witch: Isn't this a little paranoid? And you do realize that your identities will be discovered eventually
Mayday: And that will happen on our terms
Skyenet has changed the chat name to People Who Are Trolling the Avengers
Loki: So who's who? And when do we start?
Skyenet: We start once the Avengers stop generating enough entertainment from "Training Day"
Mayday: I'm Melinda May
Witch: Wanda Maximoff
Skyenet: Daisy Johnson
Loki: The Destroyer of Worlds? The Angel of Death?
Skyenet: Don't call me those names, but yes
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Phil Coulson
Loki: Sorry for killing you. How did you get resurrected?
Former Director: That's classified. And it's Nick Motherfucking Fury
Avengers Chat:
11:34 am, July 28, 2024:
Former Director has joined the chat
Skyenet had joined the chat
Former Director: We're back, motherfuckers
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Language!
Popsicle: Language!
Witch: Language!
Vision: Language!
Bird #1: Language!
Bird #2: Language!
Nat: Language!
Capsicle: Let it go already!
Skyenet: Apparently somebody cussed and Cap said "language", so it's an Avengers meme now
Former Director: Okay... Also, I can fight Barnes
Skyenet has added War Machine to the chat
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Right. Rhodey counts as an Avenger
Capsicle: Stark. How did you forget this?
War Machine: To be fair, I have been on bedrest due to someone
Vision: I said sorry!
War Machine: I know. I just wanted to say "due to someone"
War Machine: Who's Skyenet?
Nat: We don't know
War Machine: And you added her to your group chat anyway?
Capsicle: She hacked in and added her friends - which apparently include Fury
Nat: I think that she was ex-SHIELD. It's been heavily implied
Nat: Also, fine. Fury can fight Bucky. All of you are cowards.
Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter: Why didn't you fight him?
Nat: Because the last time we fought, he almost killed me and I don't want flashbacks