Training Day (Part 2)
Avengers Chat:
10:15 am, July 28, 2024:
Loki: What is this?
Thor: IT IS A CHAT WHERE I CAN TALK TO MY FRIENDS, DESPITE THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US!
Loki: Sheesh, brother, you don't need to shout
Thor: I AM NOT SHOUTING!
Loki: Also, which friends?
Thor: MY MIDGARDIAN ONES, OF COURSE
Loki: Did they approve this?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: OF COURSE WE DIDN'T
Bird #2: I don't really see what the big deal is
Popsicle: Yeah, if Thor added Loki, he's probably reformed, right?
Bird #1: Loki going through a Heel-Face Turn? Please. Be realistic.
Bird #2: Hey, Bucky went through one
Bird #1: To be fair, Bucky was brainwashed
Popsicle: Yeah, I really don't like being compared to Loki, the murdering megalomaniac who tried to take over Earth
Ego The Size of Jupiter: How does Bucky know about what happened during the Battle of New York?
Popsicle: Stevie told me
Nat: Start training, you guys. It's training day!
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Do I have to?
Skyenet: I'm pretty sure that Black Widow is going to say yes.
Nat: Yes!
Skyenet: See?
Nat: More importantly, how does Skyenet know my identity?
Skyenet: I've been associated with SHIELD before...
People Who Have Died At Least Twice:
10:18 am, July 28, 2024:
Mayday: Don't reveal classified information, Daisy
Skyenet: I didn't! I said I was involved with SHIELD, not that I still am
Skyenet: Both of which are true, by the way
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I suspect the truth will come out eventually, so we should probably ensure that it comes out on our terms
Mayday: Yeah, but not yet
Avengers Chat:
10:29 am, July 28, 2024:
Nat: We need another Who Is Skyenet? chat
Loki: Wait, you don't know who she is? And you let her onto your private communication system anyway?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: No, we didn't. She hacked in. And then added her friends
Bird #1: Which apparently include Fury
Nat: And she periodically drops hints about her identity
Loki: Do you have her name?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: We have a name, but it matches no database that I can access
Loki: I shall have to see about befriending her. This seems like amazing mischief.
Former Director: @Skyenet, @Mayday, and @Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore I really hope that Loki is good now. That would allow us to add him to our pranking chat
Spidey: Am I the only one doing training day?
Nat: Right. Training Day. Let's actually do that. Starting with obstacle courses
Capsicle: Personalized obstacle courses
Skyenet: So, Loki, what's your opinion on the Battle of New York?
Bird #1: Why are you asking him that question?
Skyenet: To see if he's been redeemed...
Loki: Mind controlling others was wrong. And not even funny. My plan was stupid (exactly as planned!). To be fair, I was under duress
Skyenet: Thanos?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Who is this Thanos?
Thor has added Valkyrie
Loki: You had to add her
Valkyrie: Hello to you too, Lackey
Ego The Size of Jupiter: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ADDING PEOPLE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!!!?
Capsicle: We heard you
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: We just don't care
Loki: To answer Stark's question, Thanos is an alien who wanted to wipe out half the universe. I have no clue how that's going for him
Capsicle: Wait, how does Loki know Stark asked that question?
Loki: Who else has an ego large enough to be called the Size of Jupiter? Which is incorrect
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Thank you!
Loki: Stark's ego clearly dwarfs Jupiter. It's almost tangible.
Ego The Size of Jupiter: No, it isn't, you little s*it
Popsicle: Okay, seriously, is there something censoring language? Because almost nobody has said a cuss word. And this is the Avengers.
Bird #2: I doubt it. Stark probably just doesn't want everybody saying "language" again
Bird #1: Are you kidding? Stark completely made a bet about going a certain length of time without cussing and then programmed something to censor his texts
Skyenet: Loki is right
Skyenet has changed Ego The Size of Jupiter's display name to Ego That Dwarfs Jupiter
Witch: Wait, there's a trolling squad? I want in. I must have revenge...
Skyenet: I'll consult the others
SHIELD People Who Are Trolling the Avengers:
10:38 am, July 28, 2024:
Skyenet: Should we allow Loki in?
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: He seems to have reformed
Mayday: You trust too easily, Coulson. I say we wait a bit
Former Director: I noticed that he's never actually apologized for New York or killing Coulson
Mayday: Does he know that Coulson isn't dead? He is part of the Asgardian Royal Family...
Skyenet: The family drama of that family could fill, like, three movies.
Former Director: To be fair, the family drama of your SHIELD Team could be a multi-season TV show, so you have no room to talk
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: What's your theory, May?
Mayday: Either Odin or Sif told him
Former Director: Why would either of those people - okay, Asgardians - know about Coulson being alive?
Skyenet: You're really behind, aren't you? We've had two encounters with Sif. The first was the Lorelei Incident.
Former Director: I see
Skyenet: And the second was when I underwent Terrigenesis - when I got my powers. Apparently I'm a weapon that she thought needed to be destroyed
Mayday: We corrected that misconception
Android That Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: To be fair to her, your powers do make you weapon, Daisy. You did destroy the planet
Mayday: That was in an alternate timeline!
Skyenet: And I was probably under mind control
Former Director: Is there anywhere where I can read over what happened with SHIELD?
Skyenet: Mack probably has files. May's busy teaching
Former Director: Melinda May? Teaching? This I have to see
Mayday: Okay, back to the purpose of this chat. Do we allow Wanda in?
Former Director: She's an Avenger
Skyenet: But she didn't know Coulson
Former Director: She still might tell the others - especially Barton. Word on the street is that he's adopted her
Mayday: We can make her sign NDA's
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Isn't that a bit extreme?
Former Director: I am not getting attacked by angry superheroes!
Skyenet: Ah. So the mighty Director Fury is afraid?