Training Day (Part 1)
Avengers Chat:
9:23 am, July 28, 2024:
Nat: @Ego The Size of Jupiter, where's your recruit? I did say that all of the Avengers should have a place in this chat.
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Shoot, I forgot about him.
Ego The Size of Jupiter has added Spidey
Skyenet: If my intel is correct, this chat is about to get a whole lot more interesting...
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: I can't tell if that's a good thing, Skye.
Ego The Size of Jupiter: So Skyenet's real name is Skye. If so, that's a terrible pun.
Nat: Hate to say it, but Stark's right.
Skyenet: Excuse me, it is an amazing pun. Also, one of my names is Skye, yes.
Nat: Wait, is Mayday also a pun?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Why? Would that help you obtain Skyenet's identity?
Nat: Yes
Mayday: Which is why I refuse to disclose that information
Skyenet: I just got a brilliant idea.
Skyenet has added Fury
Nat: Why did you invite a dead person?
Skyenet: If you seriously thought that I thought that Fury was dead, I'm sorry to inform you that you are very wrong
Fury: What is this chat?
Spidey: I was about to ask the same thing
Capsicle: It's a group chat for the Avengers. We got back together
Fury: Finally
Spidey: So, training day?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Yep
Fury: Also, I knew who Skyenet, Mayday, and Android Who Used To Be Human are
Skyenet: You'll keep the secret, though, right?
Fury: Of course. I have to get back at the Avengers somehow for the trouble that they've caused me
Ego The Size of Jupiter: What trouble? We solve problems not cause them
Bird #2: I'm with the pirate man here.
Fury: I can't tell whether or not I should flattered by your agreement or annoyed at your nickname
Ego The Size of Jupiter has changed Fury's display name to Pirate Man
Pirate Man: Stark!
Nat: I feel like all of you totally glossed over a vital piece of information we just learned
Bird #1: Yeah. All of you are so focused on Fury insulting you...
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Of course you'd agree with your partner, Barton. Partner in multiple senses of the word
Bird #1: I'm married, Stark! You knew this. You sold out my family
Ego The Size of Jupiter: You mean to tell me that you haven't a threesome
Bird #1: No! And that's ridiculous. Would you have a threesome with both yourself and Pepper?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: That sounds awesome
Skyenet: I'm not surprised...
Spidey: Can we talk about something else? Don't we have training day to get to?
Nat: The thing that everyone else is ignoring that Skyenet has Fury's number!
Ego The Size of Jupiter: I'll add it to the list. Probably won't help much
Capsicle: Did you do a Google search for her name?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Of course. There were no results
Vision: Doesn't that mean that she legally doesn't exist?
Pirate Man: Or she's using an alias
Skyenet has changed Pirate Man's display name to Former Director
Former Director: Thank you, Skye
People Who Have Died At Least Twice:
10:00 am, July 28, 2024:
Skyenet: I'm pretty sure that Spiderman is a teenager, by the way, so don't be surprised if that gets revealed
Mayday: I wouldn't put it past Stark
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Only if he was very desperate
Mayday: Like during the Avengers Civil War?
Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore: Ye... okay, point taken
Mayday: Do we really need Coulson to have this long display name in this chat?
Skyenet: Sadly, Stark designed Starkphones so everyone only has one display name, so yes
Mayday: So inconvenient
SHIELD People Who Are Trolling The Avengers:
10:05 am, July 28, 2024
Skyenet has added Former Director
Skyenet has added Mayday
Skyenet has added Android Who Used To Be A Human But Isn't Anymore
Former Director: What is this?
Skyenet: A chat to discuss things and plan how to make the Avengers annoyed
Former Director: Okay, so Skyenet is former Agent Skye, currently Agent Daisy Johnson/Quake, Android Who Used To Be Human But Isn't Anymore is Coulson, and Mayday is May, right?
Mayday: Correct
Avengers Chat:
10:10 am, July 28, 2024:
Popsicle: Okay, so can we start training day now? I understand that you guys got distracted, but Natasha should really keep her own advice
Nat: What advice?
Popsicle: Stop enabling the hackers
Nat: I gave that advice before I knew that she knew Fury
Skyenet: Did you just assume my gender?
Nat: Yes. I'm a super spy. I'm rarely wrong
Skyenet: You're correct. Also, I did notice the "rarely" there
Bird #2: I agree with Bucky
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Yes. I will yet win this bet
Popsicle: What bet?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Nothing. It's nothing. Let's start training day, shall we? We'll start with weight lifting
Nat: Let me Tai Chi first
Capsicle: Wow. Spiderman can lift...
Skyenet: How much is he lifting?
Ego The Size of Jupiter: 2 tons
Nat: Stark! Don't share privileged information with possible enemies!
Spidey: Y is that privileged information?
Asgardian: IS USING A Y INSTEAD OF WHY COMMON ON MIDGARD?
Witch: That's what Thor chooses to ask?
Nat: Only among the young folks, Thor. Not that we're old, but those younger than us
Skyenet: Do not worry, Stark, we are not enemies.
Ego The Size of Jupiter: Then why did you hack me?
Asgardian has added Loki
Ego The Size of Jupiter: THOR, I SAID TO CHECK WITH ME BEFORE ADDING PEOPLE
Capsicle: This is going to be a disaster
Skyenet: It wasn't already?
Capsicle: More of a disaster