The Beginning
Avengers Chat:
3:21 pm, July 26, 2024:
Tony Stark: I have decided that we need a group chat.
Steve Rogers: Why?
Tony Stark: In order to communicate and avoid future problems, such as the situation with your metal-armed friend.
Steve Rogers: Fine
Clint Barton: I'm bored. Since the chat exists now, I have decided that all of you must entertain me.
Natasha Romanoff: Really, Clint?
Clint Barton: What? It's a group chat. Also, can we give nicknames?
Tony Stark: Yes. Excellent idea, Legolas.
Tony Stark has changed Clint Barton's display name to Legolas
Tony Stark has changed Steve Rogers's display name to Capsicle
Natasha Romanoff has changed Tony Stark's display name to Large Ego
Natasha Romanoff: Two can play at that game. Also, why do we all have display names?
Large Ego: I'm offended, Natasha! Display names are part of texting on Starkphones
Capsicle: Tony's not going to change his display name? The current one is kind of... insulting
Legolas: What's there to change? It's true
Large Ego has changed Legolas's display name to Hawkish A-hole
Natasha Romanoff: Are you seriously trying to keep this group chat PG-13?
Hawkish A-hole: Who's in this chat, anyway?
Large Ego: It's just the original six.
Natasha Romanoff has changed Natasha Romanoff's display name to Nat
Nat has invited Wanda Maximoff
Nat has invited Bucky Barnes
Nat has invited Sam Wilson
Nat: Include all of the Avengers, Stark. And why can you invite people? Did you ripoff Discord or something to make "texting on Starkphones"
Large Ego: ...of course not. This system only exists b/c it makes sense to me
Large Ego has changed Sam Wilson's display name to Capsicle's Sidekick
Capsicle's Sidekick: Hey!
Nat has changed Capsicle's Sidekick's display name to Falcon
Large Ego: Lame
People Who Have Been Killed At Least Twice:
6:30 pm, July 26, 2024:
Skyenet: I feel like hacking Stark.
Coulson: Why?
Skyenet: a) I want to check space's WiFi connection, b) I'm bored, and c) I've heard rumors that the Avengers are reassembling.
Mayday: Do it. I want to see Thor's texts.
Coulson: Why? Because he's dreamy?
Skyenet: Your sarcasm carries over text shockingly well.
Mayday: Which is why I'm not justifying that with a response
Avengers Chat:
9:00 pm, July 26, 2024:
Hawkish A-hole: Should we get pizza?
Large Ego: You're not going to complain about your name
Nat: He's actually somewhat mature, unlike you, Stark
Large Ego: Weren't you the one that said "pretending to need this guy really brings the team together"
Hawkish A-hole: When did Nat say this?
Capsicle: The Ultron fiasco
Nat: Betrayal, utter betrayal
Hawkish A-hole: You're the one who betrayed me! How dare you? Us Badass Normals should stick together.
Large Ego: Clint reads TVTropes?
Bucky Barnes: What is TVTropes?
Large Ego has changed Large Ego's display name to Iron Man
Iron Man: Barnes is also clearly a popsicle. Sorry about my overreaction in Siberia, by the way...
Capsicle: It's fine
Iron Man has changed Bucky Barnes's display name to Barnes-sicle
Barnes-sicle: Really? You have nothing more creative?
Iron Man has invited Skyenet
Skyenet has invited Mayday
Mayday: ...you didn't mention that you'd be involving me in this scheme of yours
Skyenet: Don't you want the Avengers's gossip?
Nat: Who is Skyenet?
Iron Man: Who?
Nat: The person you just added
Iron Man: What? I didn't add anyone...
Skyenet: Mwahahaha! Take a humility pill, Stark.
Iron Man has kicked Skyenet
Iron Man has added Skyenet
Iron Man: What?
Skyenet: Nice try. You do realize that I hacked you, right?
Hawkish A-hole: Ha! Stark just got humiliated
Capsicle: Why are you celebrating this? Were you involved? You're looking suspicious here, Barton
Nat: Clint wasn't involved. He has no clue who Skyenet or Mayday are. As I have no clue who they are.
Hawkish A-hole: Yeah! I'm only celebrating as revenge.
Skyenet:@Mayday, should we tell them?
Mayday: Nah. This amuses me.
Hawkish A-hole: Tell us what?
Skyenet: She literally said that we weren't revealing that, Hawkeye.
Skyenet has changed Iron Man's display name to Stark
Skyenet has changed Hawkish A-hole's display name to Bird #1
Skyenet has changed Falcon's display name to Bird #2
Skyenet: These names are much better
Bird #2: Why am only Bird #2?
Nat: Clint was here first
People Who Have Been Killed At Least Twice:
9:30 pm, July 26, 2024:
Skyenet: Done
Mayday: And she dragged me into it
Skyenet: Don't pretend that you didn't appreciate it, Mom
Skyenet: Also, we're trolling at least Black Widow and Hawkeye
Mayday: Hawkeye is now "Bird #1"
Skyenet: That was me being nice! His former display name was "Hawkish A-hole"
Coulson: Blame Stark. That's completely his style. How was texting Thor?
Mayday: He wasn't on.
Coulson: Ok. Why is my display name still Coulson?
Mayday: Would you prefer Robo-lson? Or Coulrobo?
Coulson: No
Mayday: That's why.