Chapter 4
Steve gave Bucky one last searching look before pulling out his phone.
“Hello, Steve. How are you doing?”
Shit. Shit, this might have been a mistake. Her voice was quiet, Steve had not put her on speaker, but… She still sounded the same. So soft and kind and protective. Bucky had craved hearing her talk to him like that again for 7 years. Losing his best friend had been one thing, but Sarah had been the only real parent he had ever known.
“Good, Ma. We need to talk.”
“Are you alright?”
Damn, she sounded so worried. She always worried about her son. Her sons.
“Yes. It’s about Bucky.” Steve’s voice was trembling a little. His body was bend over, trying to pull away from the task ahead.
“Oh.” Sarah sounded sad. Bucky didn’t want her to sound like that. She was supposed to be cheerful and encouraging. “Did you have a nightmare again?”
Nightmare? Bucky’s eyes flickered to Steve’s face, but his friend wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“Ma I don’t-”
“Don’t lie to me.” Sarah said sternly. Stupid Stevie, no one could lie to that woman. “Sometimes you still scream at night.”
Steve’s face turned a little red at that. “Let’s not talk about that right now,” he whispered.
“Alright. What is it?”
“I found him.”
Sarah was silent for a moment, before she started talking quickly. “You- You found the grave? Oh lord, we need to visit him, my poor boy must have been so lonely.”
Steve flinched at the mention of the grave that had never existed. “No, Ma. I- He- Bucky is alive.”
Again, silence. Then Sarah made a horrible choked up noise that let Bucky’s eyes tear up. “Steven Grant Rogers! How can you even joke-”
“His father lied,” Steve interrupted her, his hands trembling but his voice free of emotion. “Bucky is alive.”
Bucky was getting used to the nerve racking pauses by now. “My boy…” Sarah’s voice was just a whisper, barely enough for Bucky to hear. “Where is he? Steve, where-”
“He’s right here,” Steve said, pulling the phone away from his ear and pushing the video call button. It took a few seconds for Sarah to accept.
Oh. She looked… good. At the moment she seemed to be in shock and tears were gleaming in her eyes, but otherwise she looked well. Her long blond hair had a bit of gray in it now and there were a few more lines around her eyes, but otherwise she was the same woman Bucky had longed for so many years.
“Hi Ma,” he managed to get out.
Her hand flew up to cover her mouth and quiet her desperate sob. “Oh my dear child… You are still so beautiful… You are so grown up now. But those eyes…”
“You look good too,” Bucky told hair, his voice trembling a little. “That’s a very pretty dress,” he added with a smirk.
That made her let out a startled laugh. “Oh, you…”
After a moment her face became serious again. “I’m coming as soon as possible.”
“No.”
“Bucky?”, Steve asked, sounding worried.
Bucky looked between the two, suddenly feeling like he was trapped. “I- I don’t think I am ready for that.”
His Ma closed her eyes, a look of deep regret and shame settling over her features. “You must hate us for believing that bastard.”
“No, Ma. I could never hate you,” Bucky quickly reassured her. It was the truth. Over the years he had felt so much, was still feeling so much, but never hate. “I’m just… overwhelmed. But I love you.”
His Ma’s eyes flew open, staring at him in wonder. “I love you too, my boy. So much.”
Steve turned the camera a bit so he was in frame too. “Ma, we-”
“Steve!”, Sarah gasped and the spell was broken. “What the hell happened to your face!”
“Don’t worry about it, really-”
“Steven!”
“Uh… Ma?”, Bucky said shyly. “I think that’s kinda my fault?”
Sarah shook her head. “I don’t believe that. This son of mine has never been the most careful one.”
Bucky blushed as he remembered how everyone at the cafe had reacted. “There was a little misunderstanding and a friend of mine got a bit… protective over me.”
His Ma looked at him in disbelieve. “A friend…” Bucky understood why she was so shocked. Last time they had seen each other Steve had been his only friend. “You are doing okay? Is there anything you need? We have more now, I could send some money or-”
Bucky grinned at that. Of course Sarah would try to baby him. God, he had missed this. “Ma, don’t worry. Life has been.. a bit bad for me, but recently everything is working out.”
New tears sprung to her eyes after that. “Oh, I am so glad. You only deserve the best.”
Even though he was pretty sure what the answer would be, Bucky felt a bit awkward asking the next question. “Could I come visit sometime?”
“Of course!”, Sarah told him without missing a beat. “Bucky, you don’t understand how much we missed you. I love you.”
“Love you too,” he smiled, before his face fell. “Would it be okay if I brought someone else? For moral support?”
“Oh! You have a boyfriend?”, his Ma asked excitedly.
Bucky stared at her in complete shock. “You know I’m gay?”
“Of course, a mother always knows,” she declared proudly.
Okay, first problem solved. He took a deep breath before continuing. “There is something else…”
“Oh please,” Sarah huffed. “I just got my son back. I wouldn’t even care if you killed someone.”
“Nah, not yet,” Bucky joked. “But I actually have two boyfriends. Not like cheating or something,” he quickly added, not wanting his Ma to believe him to be an asshole. “We are all together.”
Sarah looked surprised, but not disgusted or angry like Bucky had feared. “Even better! You deserve so much love and you have so much to offer. You can bring them both of course, the bed in Steve’s room is big enough, he’ll take the couch.”
Bucky’s eyes flickered to Steve’s large frame. “I don’t want to impose…”
Sarah gave him a stern look and he swallowed nervously. “Yes, Ma’am.”
Her eyes went soft after that. “You don’t look so well.”
Bucky nodded, he was probably pale and sweaty by now. “I will be in contact, okay? This is- this is a lot.”
She nodded understandingly. “Yes, it is.”
“Goodbye Ma, I love you,” he choked out.
“I love you too, my boy.”
Steve disconnected the call and Bucky just stared ahead for a minute after her face had disappeared. “Wow…”
“You okay?”, Steve checked. Bucky just shrugged.
“I always wondered,” he said after a while, “Why did you change your number?”
“Huh?”, Steve asked confused. “Oh, my phone just got destroyed in the fall.”
Bucky tilted his head to the side, trying to remember the details. “But… You didn’t fall? I remember you standing up there…”
Steve went pale at the memory, but nodded. “Yeah, I called for help and jumped after you.”
Bucky’s head snapped around, blinding rage tearing him apart from the inside. “You what?!”
“Bucky?”
“Steve! How fucking dare you?!”, Bucky yelled, jumping up from the sofa.
“In my defense,” Steve said far too calmly, “It wasn’t that high. You just got hurt so badly because the rocks landed on you.”
“Not the point! You can’t jump of off cliffs after me!”
“Then don’t fall off cliffs!”
They just stared at each other for a long moment.
“I need you to leave,” Bucky said finally.
Steve’s face fell. “What did I say? Bucky, please, I didn’t mean to-”
Bucky put a hand on his cheek to stop him. “I just need a break. This is too much. We can meet again another time, okay?”
“Soon?”, Steve asked hopefully.
“Soon,” Bucky promised.
……
The second Zemo exited the apartment building he pulled out his phone to dial Sam’s number.
“Hi Sweet Thing.”
“Samuel. I just met Steve Rogers,” Zemo declared without missing a beat.
“Oh, yeah, that,” Sam breathed out. “How is Bucky?”
“I just saw him for a moment. He seemed upset but was holding it together for the moment. He would like you to fill me in?”
“Are you still near the apartment?”
“Right outside the building,” Zemo told him.
“I’m just a few blocks away, I can be with you in a minute,” Samuel promised before hanging up.
Zemo paced the sidewalk up and down, until he finally saw Sam jogging towards him in his running clothes. Any other day he would have been very pleased to see his boyfriend sweaty and panting, but not that morning.
“Samuel,” he sighed, giving the man a quick hug before fixing him with a stern look. “Okay, spill.”
They walked around the neighborhood as Sam told him how his running buddy had turned out to be Steve Rogers and how Natasha had immediately broken his nose upon meeting him.
“So, can we trust him?”, Zemo asked suspiciously.
“His reaction seemed genuine. If he believed Bucky to be dead, I guess no one can blame him for not being there for him. You should have seen the guy, he didn’t even care about the broken nose, he was just staring at Buck. Crying and all.”
“How did James take it?”
Sam laughed humorlessly. “What do you think? His whole fucking world just turned upside down. Natasha and I took him to Phil’s office until he calmed down. I’m really getting tired of seeing him so upset.”
“Yes, I understand what you mean. When he told me the story of Steve and Sarah… God, he was so hurt. What about Phil? Is he as good as James described him? He won’t be in trouble for missing work?”
Sam actually smiled at that. “Nah, the man is a saint. Set Steve’s nose and mobbed up the blood without a word of complaint.”
“Okay. So Steve is not a threat and James won’t get in trouble. That’s good. What is the plan now?”
“Well, apparently Steve wants to be back in Bucky’s life,” Sam grumbled.
“And you do not approve?”, Zemo guessed.
“I am just concerned. Whatever relationship they may build, it will be a very complicated one. Bucky is not good with change. I don’t think he has fully comprehended everything that happened in the past two months yet.”
A bit of doubt crept into Zemo’s heart. “Our relationship…?”
“No, I don’t think it’s in danger,” Samuel reassured him. “But this whole thing will take a toll on Bucky’s mental health.” His boyfriend gave him a searching look. “Are you ready for that?”
“What? Putting everything on hold to help James adjust? Have you met me?”
“Good, good,” Sam sighed. “I’d do anything for him, but I really didn’t want to do this on my own.”
Zemo took his boyfriend’s hand and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. “You never have to be alone, my love.”
At that moment, both of their phones started ringing. Zemo pulled his phone out first and saw that it was a group call with all three of them.
“Darling-”
“Please,” James gasped through the phone, his voice sounding like he had been crying for a while.
“I’m on my way,” Zemo immediately promised.
“I-I tried to call Sam to, but-”
“I’m here, Sweetheart,” Sam cut him off. “We will be there soon. Just hold on for a few more minutes.”
Luckily they were almost back at the apartment building, so it was really just a minute until they were at the door. Samuel fumbled with his keys, but the door was opened before he could put them in.
“Hey guys,” James whispered, his eyes red and puffy. “Remember when Sam joked non of us would have to meet the parents? Well, my Ma wants us to come visit.”
Zemo and Sam both held their boyfriend up as they dragged him to the couch.
“How are you feeling, Buck?”, Sam asked, pulling James down to lay across their legs.
“It’s all just so… new. Too much,” their boyfriend answered, his eyes falling shut.
“It’s okay, darling. You can just rest now, we are here for you,” Zemo reassured him, running his fingers through the man’s hair.
“He never liked me much,” James mumbled, “But when I was disabled and queer, my father told me I wasn’t his son anymore. I was okay with it. I didn’t want to be. But I thought that meant I was parentless.” His eyes flew open, darting between the two men looking down at him. “Oh god, I have a mother! A real mother!”
Zemo could help but smile. “You do. It’s a good thing, but it will take time to get used to.”
“And you think it’s a good idea? I’m not being stupid?”, James pleaded.
“Darling-” Zemo had to take a moment to collect his thoughts. “Sarah is a parent who is getting back her child. I will support you no matter what, but I simply can not be impartial in this situation.”
“Oh...”, James said, understanding lighting up his eyes. Zemo could feel Samuel’s hand on the back of his neck, squeezing lightly.
“Buck, I believe you deserve a family. Whether or not you want to include Sarah and Steve is up to you. We will support you.”
Powerful sobs racked their boy’s body as he stared up at them. “I have a gravestone… Steve made me one. There are flowers and toys… They grieved me, how can I be angry at them for leaving when they tried to reach me so badly?”
“James, your feelings are what they are. This has changed your whole view on your past, it’s only natural you need time to adjust and process,” Zemo tried to explain as calmly as possible.
“There is no one to blame,” James hissed. “Sometimes I imagined seeing them again, telling them exactly how they made me feel, getting answers why I wasn’t worth it, but now… It was all my dad, but I already hated him and there is no way to punish him because he doesn’t care. I hurt so much and there is no one I can make pay!”
“Maybe it’s time to heal,” Samuel suggested gently and leaned down to press a kiss to their boyfriend’s forehead.
“You said your Ma wants to meet us?”, Zemo asked, trying to keep his boy focused on the future, not the past.
“Yes… She lives in a small town two hours from here. Would you mind…?”
“Of course we are coming with you,” Sam promised.
“Okay… I want to see her soon, but we have that dinner with Vision and Wanda planed, so maybe-”
“We can reschedule,” Zemo said firmly.
“Are you sure?”, James asked, new tears forming in his eyes. “I know it’s important to you.”
“I want to keep you around for a while, so meeting my family is important, but they will understand. Please James, just let us take care of you for a bit.”
“Okay,” James finally agreed as he relaxed into their touch. Sam reached for the remote and put on James’ favorite cartoon while they just held their boy until he drifted off to sleep.