Against The Rules

 The next day Bucky wakes up miserable. All day yesterday since his fight with Steve he noticed he can't hold his piss as long as he should, and it burns coming out, and now he feels sick and his back and abdomen hurt.

 His sheets are soaked like always, but he's already being punished, HYDRA is somehow making him sick for breaking the rules. So he doesn't dare try to get up. He's too scared of what might happen. So he just lays there in his wet bed and cries.

 It's not long before Steve comes in to wake him up. "Come on, Buck. Let's go get cleaned up." He says.

 "No! I don't wanna be in trouble anymore, they're punishing me!" Bucky sobs.

 "Nobody's punishing you." Steve says. "We need to get you cleaned up."

 "There's no point! I'm just gonna get in more trouble! They're already punishing me, Steve! I don't know how they're doing it but they are! They're controlling my body and making me sick for breaking the rules!"

 "You feel sick?" Steve asks, putting a hand to Bucky's forehead. "Hm. You do feel pretty warm. I think you have a fever."

 "I know! They're punishing me!" Bucky insists.

 "Tell me what you feel, Buck. Is it just the fever or is it something else?" Steve asks.

 "I feel nauseous, and it hurts." Bucky whines.

 "What hurts?"

 "It hurts here," Bucky says, pointing to his back, "and here." He points to his abdomen, below his belly button.

 "Maybe you just need to drink more water. I think you're dehydrated. And especially if you have a fever it will help cool you down." Steve encourages. 

 "No! I'm not drinking anything!" Bucky says.

 "Bucky you have to drink water. I'll get you some in a bit. Right now you need to get cleaned up." Steve says, pulling Bucky up from the bed.

 Steve takes Bucky to the bathroom to wash him in the shower, and gets him dressed. They go to the kitchen for breakfast. 

 Steve tries to get Bucky to feed himself his oatmeal but he won't. Steve feeds him, and then makes him drink a glass of water.

 "I don't want to be punished anymore!" Bucky sobs after he had to drink the water.

 "You're not being punished. It's okay to be afraid, but nobody can punish you anymore." Steve tells him.

 "I don't know how they're doing it." Bucky cries quietly. "I need to be good."

 "You're so good, Buck." Steve says. "None of this is your fault."

 Steve leads Bucky out to the living room.

 "Do you want to watch some TV? Or take a nap? I know you're not feeling well." Steve says.

 "Will you stay with me?" Bucky asks.

 "Of course."

 Bucky waits for Steve to sit and then lays down on the couch with his head in Steve's lap.

 He tries to fall asleep but he can't. He's too scared.

 He doesn't realize he's crying until Steve says something. 

 "Oh Bucky, please don't cry. Everything will be okay." Steve says, running his fingers through Bucky's hair.

 "I'm scared, Steve! I don't wanna be punished anymore!" Bucky sobs, burying his face in Steve's stomach. 

 "You'll never have to be punished again, I promise. You're not being punished now, you're just a little sick." Steve says.

 "They're making me sick! I am being punished and I don't want to be! I want to be good!" Bucky wails.

 "Try to calm down, Buck. It's alright. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."

 "They are hurting me and you don't even care!"

 "Of course I care. I care about you more than anything." Steve says. "Come here." He grabs Bucky under the arms and pulls him up to lean against his chest.

 Bucky didn't even feel like he had to go but as soon as he moves he's suddenly flooding his jeans, and it burns worse than ever. And it stinks, a strong foul smell that seems to fill the whole room.

 "Jesus Christ!" Steve says, covering his nose. "Piss definitely isn't supposed to smell like that, Bucky!"

 "Ow!" Bucky sobs, pressing his thighs together and grabbing himself to try to stop, just to stop the pain. "It hurts, Stevie it burns so bad, it's like fire coming outta my dick!"

 "I think you need to go to the doctor, Buck. It shouldn't burn or smell like that!" Steve says, concerned. 

 "No! Please no! They're gonna know I've been bad and they'll punish me more, I'll be in so much trouble!" Bucky cries, starting to panic. "No doctor,  Steve please no doctor!"

 "Bucky, calm down! The doctor can't hurt you! You're sick and you need help." Steve says. 

 "But what if the doctor is HYDRA! I don't want to!"

 Steve can't argue with that, Bucky has a point. Nobody knew that SHIELD was infiltrated by HYDRA, and some of them are probably still around. A doctor could be HYDRA, laying in wait to snatch the Winter Soldier back.

 "You can see Bruce." Steve says. "He's a doctor, and he's not HYDRA. He's my friend. He won't hurt you. But first you need to get cleaned up."

 Steve takes Bucky to the bathroom and cleans him in the shower again. He gets him dressed and calls Bruce.

 Bruce meets them in the medical floor. "Hey Steve. I'm guessing this is Bucky?" 

 "Yeah. He's sick, and afraid of doctors." Steve says.

 "Well you don't have to be afraid of me." Bruce says. "What's going on?"

 Bucky refuses to answer, just sitting on the exam table staying completely still.

 "He's got a fever, back and abdominal pain, burning with urination and foul smelling urine." Steve answers for him.

 "Definitely sounds like a urinary tract infection, probably a bad one. I'll need a sample to confirm." Bruce says, grabbing a sample cup.

 "No!" Bucky says, shaking his head.

 "He won't pee in the cup." Says Steve. "He won't pee at all. He refuses. He'll hold it until he has an accident."

 "What? No! That's not healthy at all! That's probably what brought on the infection in the first place. When you hold in your urine for long amounts of time, it gives bacteria the opportunity to multiply in your bladder, giving you a urinary tract infection. If aggravated or untreated the infection could spread to your kidneys, and then even into your bloodstream, and become life-threatening. It sounds like it's already hit your kidneys, hence the back pain and fever. Holding it in will make it worse, you need to go when you feel the urge." Bruce says. "If you don't want to go in the cup, I can catheterize you. But if your urethra is irritated already it might hurt."

 "Catheters are not against the rules." Bucky says. "That was a standard part of the procedure before cryostasis."

 "Um, okay?" Bruce says, confused. 

 "He's saying he's okay with the catheter." Steve clarifies.

 "Ah, okay. Let me go get it then." Says Bruce. He goes to the cupboards and looks around before pulling out a catheter and bag.

 "This will probably hurt." He warns Bucky.

 Steve pulls down Bucky's pants and underwear, and holds his hand as Bruce gets ready to insert the catheter.

 Bucky gasps as it goes in, it stings a lot. He can feel it moving through his dick and it does hurt. But then it must've gotten where it needed to be because the bag is suddenly filling with dark, cloudy looking urine. 

 "That doesn't look good." Says Bruce. "I'm going to test it and I'll be back shortly."

 "I'm sorry." Bucky says after Bruce leaves.

 "What for, Buck?" Steve asks, sweeping some strands of hair back from Bucky's face.

 "For getting sick."

 "Don't be sorry for that." Steve says.

 "I don't like it." Bucky whines.

 "I know you don't. But it'll be alright. I'm sure Bruce can make it better."

 "But it will just keep coming back and getting worse! You heard what he said." Bucky says.

 "Don't worry about that right now." Says Steve. "Everything is gonna be fine."

 Bruce is back quickly like he promised.

 "Definitely a kidney infection, and not a mild one either." He says. "Here are some antibiotics," he says, handing Bucky the pill bottle. "Take 2 of those now and then 1 twice a day until they're all gone. Even if you feel better you need to take them until they're gone. And since you're uncircumcised, until the infection clears up you'll wanna pull back the foreskin and wipe the tip with a damp cloth or wet wipe after every time you go. Otherwise the bacteria may linger under the skin and make its way back into your urethra. And no more holding it in! I can't stress that enough. Go whenever you feel the need. Drink plenty of water to help flush out the infection, and you can take acetaminophen or ibuprofen for the pain."

 "Thank you, Bruce." Steve says.

 "Anytime." Says Bruce before leaving. 

 "Let's go, Buck." Steve says.

 They go back up to Steve's floor. Steve leads Bucky into his bedroom.

 "Lay on the bed." He tells Bucky.

 He goes to the closet and takes out the diapers he'd put in there from before.

 He takes off Bucky's pants and underwear, and puts a diaper on him.

 "Thank you." Bucky says.

 "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." Says Steve. "I just wanted you to learn to be independent and care for yourself again. I shouldn't have just forced you right into it, you need time to heal. I didn't mean for you to get sick, it's my fault."

 "I don't wanna be sick." 

 "I know. It's my fault. I'm sorry." Steve says, laying on the bed with Bucky and cuddling him.

 "Can I... go? Please? Will you be mad?" Bucky asks.

 "Go where Bucky?" Steve says.

 "No. Go. Please, I've been holding it for days, my stomach hurts. Please don't be mad." 

 "Um... okay, go ahead. I won't be mad." Says Steve. 

 He waits till Bucky is done and tries to hold his breath while changing his diaper. 

 Steve goes to throw out the diaper and comes back with Bucky's antibiotics and a bottle of water. Bucky takes 2 pills like Bruce said.

 "I don't have to break the rules anymore?" He asks Steve.

 "You weren't breaking rules. There's no more rules. But no, I won't try to force you to use the bathroom anymore." Steve says.

 "Can we cuddle some more?" Bucky asks.

 "Of course." Says Steve. He lays with Bucky and holds him.