we've fought hard not to die, yet we don't know how to live

Marvel Cinematic Universe Black Widow (Movie 2021)
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we've fought hard not to die, yet we don't know how to live
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Chapter 12

Natasha has this thing about not fighting in front of her sister. She also made a promise to Clint long ago that if she had a problem with him then they would duke it out in private. 

 

“Mommy!” Cooper gasps, running into the house. Laura startled at the sound of her name, out of her chair and checking him over for injuries. “Auntie Lena did something bad.” 

 

Natasha is pushing herself out of the chair when Laura glances out the window and curses under her breath before darting out the back door that Cooper just came in from. 

 

“What happened?” Natasha asked Cooper, torn between calming her nephew down or darting outside to find her sister. 

 

“Auntie Lena-- daddy-- mistake--” Cooper cries and Natasha cups his face briefly. 

 

“Breathe, Coop,” Natasha encouraged him, stroking his hair out of his face. “What mistake?” 

 

“Auntie Lena… she was teaching me…” Cooper sniffles, gasping for air. “‘Cause she promised--” 

 

MJ enters the room from the commotion and Natasha leaves Cooper with MJ before darting outside as fast as she can, still healing from her time with Hydra. 

 

Laura was yelling at Clint and Yelena was curled up in a tiny ball. Natasha hurries up the pace a little. 

 

She meets Laura and Yelena halfway. There’s grass in Yelena’s hair and on her clothes along with dirt on her cheek and what looks like a bruise on the side of her neck. 

 

Natasha wraps her arms around Yelena, pulling her close, and feels her sister sink into the touch. 

 

Natasha gets Yelena inside and settled upstairs with MJ. All Yelena told her was that she taught Cooper how to throw knives and she and Clint fought physically. 

 

Natasha promises Yelena that she’ll be back. MJ nods to her, a silent promise that she’s got Yelena as she starts to pluck pieces of grass from Yelena’s braids. 

 

Natasha heads downstairs to where Clint was. “Meet me in the garage.” She then disappears and out into the garage. 

 

Clint takes two minutes to appear and looks tired. 

 

“I have heard from Cooper and I have heard from Yelena. Yet, neither of them told me what makes you think it’s acceptable to lay your hands on my sister,” Natasha raised an eyebrow. “You better have a damned good excuse for what made you think it was okay to touch her!” 

 

Clint sighs and reaches up to rub his face and shakes his head. “I have no good excuse. I started the whole thing. She was just defending herself.” 

 

Natasha doesn’t punch him but she grabs him by the front of his shirt. “Do you remember what I said to you the last time that Yelena freaked out around you?” 

 

“You told me that if I ever did anything to make her feel unsafe then you were taking her and leaving and never coming back,” Clint recites, closing his eyes. 

 

“Yelena just told me that you had a fistfight in the backyard over her teaching Cooper to throw knives,” Natasha comments. 

 

“Am I the only one bothered by her doing that!” Clint’s eyes fly open as he stares at her. “She had no right to give my son a knife.” 

 

“You think I don’t know that? She made a mistake, Clint. It was not done with malicious intent,” Natasha lets him go and Clint runs a hand through his hair. “What do you want me to do about this?” 

 

“I don’t know. Give her some sort of consequence?” Clint replies. “You let her get away with way too much.” 

 

“And pray tell what consequence I’m going to give a traumatized child soldier?” Natasha folds her arms. 

 

“You can’t let her get away with this,” Clint said seriously. 

 

“I’ll sit down and have a conversation with her about it later. That’s what I can do about it,” Natasha said. “And if I was healed up enough then I’d take her to the mats and we’d spar it out. What else do you suggest, hmm?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Clint grunts. “Ground her?” 

 

“She doesn’t live here. We share a bedroom,” Natasha reminds him. 

 

“Take something away?” Clint suggests. 

 

“Yelena already has a fear of attachment because she knows that someone bigger and meaner than her can come and take it away. What am I supposed to take away? MJ?” Natasha shakes her head. 

 

Clint kicks an empty gasoline can in frustration. “Fuck, Nat. I don’t know! Spank her for all I care!” 

 

“Do you really think me raising a hand to her is the right answer?” Natasha scoffs in disbelief. “Something about being around Yelena is making you stupid, Clint. You just rile each other up until you and I talk about her issues.”

 

Clint pulls on his hair in frustration and Natasha grabs his wrist to stop him. 

 

“This is new to you. When you first met me and I was deprogramming and learning about being a human, you didn’t have to deal with my consequences or punishment. Coulson did. Hill did,” Natasha reminds him. “You have no experience in this area. You are my friend Clint. My closest friend and I love you but I have to put Yelena first.” 

 

“What are you saying?” Clint demands, staring at her. 

 

“You just fist fought my sister in the backyard. It’s no longer safe for her here,” Natasha takes a step away from him. “I’m taking her back to the tower.” 

 

“You’re not healed yet. You still have three days left,” Clint reminds her, stepping forward to set a hand on her shoulder but Natasha shrugs him off. 

 

“You held my sister down.” Natasha tells him in a harsh whisper. “After she trusted you enough to confide in you some of what she went through.” 

 

“Fine! I over-reacted. I fucked up!” Clint throws his arms in the air. “What can I do to fix it?” 

 

Natasha shakes her head. “You can’t ‘fix this’, Clint. I trusted you with my sister, to look after her like one of your own. If you caught Cooper trying to knife throw on his own would you fight him in the forest?!” 

 

“Of course not,” Clint shakes his head. 

 

“Exactly,” Natasha shoves a finger at him. “That is why we are leaving. You’re my friend Clint. My family. And I love you. But you have gone too far.”

 

“It was just a fight! Me and you used to fight all the time and we’d make up with pizza and vodka!” Clint reminds her. 

 

“Do you think ‘just a fight’ is going to make my sister sleep here any better tonight?” Natasha finally backhands him. “Do not make me choose between you and my sister, Clint. I can already tell you that it’s not even a choice. I promised my sister that she would come first always. She needs me more than you do, Clint. You have your family. She has me.” 

 

Clint lets out a long sigh, the fight leaving him. “I’d never ask you to pick, Nat. Fuck… I’m sorry it’s come down to this.” 

 

Natasha clenches her jaw before she ducks her head down so he can’t see the hurt on her face. “I’m sorry too.” 

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