Left Behind

Common film tropes are all over the place, each one individual and unique. Living in an apocalypse and getting ready to time travel with his personal hero, recently Peter Parker feels like he’s ticking them all off. He looks down at the ground as Iron Man’s mechanical hands lift him by his armpits, as they travel by air instead of portal towards the sanctum (when Peter finds out he could’ve just stepped through some magical sparkly things, it’s safe to say he’s a bit annoyed. What? Is he not allowed to be afraid of heights a tiny bit when he’s not the one in control?).

When they land, Peter’s not really surprised to see this corner of the globe in the same condition as it is at home. He looks up at Tony’s face, who looks up at the door and refuses to look back at him. There’s something different about him today. Peter can smell the alcohol on his breath, and it burns that he did it again after all they’ve been through… but he must be scared, and journeys like his are never linear.

As Tony steps forward, Peter reaches out for his hand and twirls him back around, almost forgetting his own strength. Tony almost loses his footing as they come face to face, staring down at Peter with concern written into the edges of his skin.

“Mr Stark,” Peter says sternly. “Are you okay?” he asks and sighs sadly as Tony tries to take his hand away as his face flushes a light pink. “Please, I just want to make sure we’re doing this at the right time, if you’re feeling bad then we can just go back home. I wouldn’t risk your happiness for anything.”

“I’m fine,” Tony says, looking both sad and fond at the same time as he slips out of Peter’s grip.

He smiles at Peter, but the kid knows it’s fake. For he’s seen every part of Tony’s life and every minute change in his facial expression is like a new story for Peter. They’re close, like father and son, and all of this won’t work if they’re not in it together… and secretly Peter hopes that they’ll still be best of friends when they come back to a fixed world. He can’t lose Tony… not after all of this. He wants to remember every second even if most of them were too painful.

Peter screws his face up, crosses his arms in front of his chest, and refuses to move an inch.

“Peter, you’re being childish.”

“Yeah?” Peter says as if what Tony said was the most obvious thing. “I’m a child, technically everything I do is ‘childish’. But you- you’re the one being childish. Or scared. I don’t know. Whatever the word is for ‘I never talk about my feelings and suppress them to the point where I get all anxious and I can’t speak without freaking out.”

“…Repressed?”

“That’s it!”

Tony chuckles, shaking his head softly. He steps forward, putting a hand on the kid’s shoulder. Peter refuses to look him in the eye, staring at Tony’s perfectly tied shoelaces instead. That’s until Tony lightly taps his jaw with his free hand until they’re making eye contact.

“I had a slip up last night with…well, you know what. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I think you already know. Am I right?” Tony asks.

When Peter nods, Tony’s stomach drops. It’s not like it’s a surprise, but it’s that type of feeling when you knew it was coming but it still feels like you’re getting kicked in the heart repeatedly. Tony never wants Peter to see him as an old drunk man. He wants to be the kid’s hero… he doesn’t want to crush that image, but he’s failing, and God- nobody ever told him that it would hurt this much… that hurting your kid feels worse than falling from the sky and almost dying to save New York (that specific scenario might be a bit niche but, hey, it happens to the best of us!).

“It doesn’t mean I’m not ready for all of this, kiddo. I’m just-“

“Scared?”

“Yeah, kid. I’m terrified. Getting back what we lost? It’ll be amazing. But I need to make sure you’re safe- because keeping what I’ve gained? I have to,” Tony smiles, slipping his free hand to the kid’s other shoulder as he squeezes them simultaneously. He doesn’t bother to tell the kid that it’s actually because after all of this is done, he’s gone… because there’s no point in that. “I have to,” he repeats for clarity.

Peter softly smiles, nodding a few times as he refuses to start crying. “We’re going to save the world, Mr Stark.”

“Yeah, we are, Pete,” Tony chuckles. Dropping his hands, he gently pushes the boy on his back until he’s by the steps to the front door. “Now, come on,” he says, whilst checking his watch for the time. “Strange gets annoyed when people are late.”

Dr Strange might be one of the coolest people that Peter had ever met. Even his cape had a personality. Peter wonders where he could get one like it… hm, maybe in another life. He stands tall, charismatic, and just his smile almost makes the young boy forget that it was him who simply gave away the stone. But he must’ve had a plan. Leaving Tony alone on the battlefield after the man had lost everything… Well, whatever plan it was… Peter hopes he had good reason behind it.

Sitting on a bench as Tony and Strange talk logistics, the young boy fiddles with his hands (apparently fiddling with the random objects on the shelves in a magical place is a big no-go… but he really wishes he could).

“Do you have a DeLorean?” Peter asks, piping up after about an hour of them talking amongst themselves (it had been three minutes).

Strange blanks. Tony laughs.

“I was just asking... now, that would be a story I could tell Ned. He’d be so jealous. I mean… he already will be. But now? He doesn’t know what is about to hit him!”

“I don’t,” Strange replies. “Unfortunately.”

“Tony?” Peter asks, getting the man’s attention. “You could make one, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting here, kid. We’re not going to go tumbling down some spirals on a bright blue background. This isn’t an early 2000’s flick. It’s going to be a quick- flash! We’re there! No cutscenes. We’ll just appear in the past, so I’m afraid I can’t take anything physical along with us.”

Peter huffs. “Boring.”

“Boring? You’re literally going back in time to fight against a titan to bring the world back from the dead. I personally don’t see anything boring about that.”

“Yeah, well, you’re a boomer… so I wouldn’t expect you to.”

Tony jaw almost drops, but there’s no way he’s giving the kid any kind of satisfaction for dissing him. So, he simply turns back to Strange and pretends not to notice as the kid tries speaking to him. If he’s going to call him a boomer, which he isn’t (by the way), then he’s getting the silent treatment. When Tony looks at Strange, he sees a fond smile on his face that he’s never seen before. It’s nice.

The plan should be simple. It’s a quick in and out operation. Stop Thanos from ever getting the stones… it should be simple, right? Well, Tony’s terrified. He knows the power the titan holds, and to see his failures spread out in front of him isn’t going to be amazing. Especially with the kid sitting beside him. Is it weird of him to feel self-conscious? He’s not sure.

Strange wanders of to get some ingredients but stares at Tony as he saunters away. It’s a little creepy, and Peter’s looking between the two with a quizzical look on his face.

“What was that about?” he asks, looking up at Tony.

“Nothing. Kid, the word ‘Strange’ is literally his last name. Would make sense that he’s odd, wouldn’t it?”

Before Peter can press any further and before he can take all the secrets in his head out, Strange comes back and he’s setting everything up. Peter takes Tony’s hand as the sorcerer repeats some words and does magical things with his hands. Suddenly there’s light everywhere, all gold and sparkly and Peter would tell Tony that this looks exactly like a two-thousands flick, but he’s never been the type of person to say, ‘I told you so’, so he bites his tongue and waits. And in only a few seconds, there’s this flash and when Peter blinks he’s standing in the sanctum and only a few things have changed.

Around one year (and a bit) ago…

Peter looks around, “So this is the past? A bit underwhelming.”

“Kid, look outside,” Tony says, eyes straining at the window.

Peter does as he’s told. When he looks down at what Tony’s so interested in, he can’t stop the gasp that escapes him. There are people everywhere. Walking down the street like nothing’s wrong. Smiling, laughing… they’re happy, and nobody has been snapped away.

“We need to see May- Ned- the Avengers, Tony… we can see them again. We can do it,” Peter says, turning around. He squeezes the man’s hand once more, reaching forward to bring both men into a big hug. “We did it,” he whispers, trying hard not to cry.

When Peter finally lets the two men breathe, Tony presses a kiss against his forehead and whispers softly, “We did, and I’m so proud of you.”

The soft moment is interrupted by a dry cough. As the two look up, they’re startled to see a second Doctor Strange staring at them through the door. “Now, I won’t say this is the weirdest thing I have ever seen… but it’s up there. I think I might know what this is about?”

“…That’s why you gave up the stone,” Tony whispers, turning to present Strange. “You knew that we’d do this all along, you were just waiting for Peter to haul me off my ass. This was meant to be- do we win? How? I-,”

“If I tell you, it won’t happen,” he tells Peter and Tony. “Now, we’ve got to get the site of the battle. It happens in about a week, so we need to find somewhere to stay. If someone we know sees us, it’s not good. Other me might be able to handle it, but I think that past Tony wouldn’t be over the moon. Hopefully, we don’t go anywhere near past Peter… he might like it a bit too much.”

Inconspicuous travel means the suit is a no-go and Tony has to actually use Strange’s weird portals. Peter thinks this is the best thing that has ever happened to him and finding a secret hideout in the compound makes him feel like a super spy. But what makes him happier, what puts the smile on his face even as he comes closer to the fight of his life, is how bright the world feels with everyone in it. It’s hard to comprehend the feeling, never mind explaining it, but as they walk down a cobbled path, he can’t help but smile so much that it hurts as he watches people pass him.

Wakanda is advanced. Somehow, they’ll be able to spot someone coming in without their permission, even if it was through magic. So, they must wait at the compound until the team take the quinjet to go help when they first learn of Thanos’ arrival. Sneaking on the ship will be easy, they just have to give it some time.

Tony knows the compound like the back of his hand. He did design it, after all. It means they can find hidden places easily, but it also means the other Tony is likely to find them wherever they may be. But they just must take that risk.

They sneak past the kitchen, having to jump in the vents when the team come back from a mission earlier than Tony remembered. And as they wander in, the billionaire’s heart drops. Through the cracks, he can spot the team that he’s mourned for. He watches as they smile so effortlessly, not a clue that they wouldn’t make it to the next month. And Tony reaches for the bottle. Steve stops him, and Natasha reminds him that this failure wasn’t his fault.

Tony remembers the day vividly.

The bell to assemble went off in the morning, and Tony failed to admit he hadn’t slept. He put the suit on and could barely keep his eyes awake as hundreds of armed organised crime members rushed the group of hostages they used as bait for the Avengers. Tony wasn’t fast enough. They got two kids. They shot two kids and Tony failed. He remembers how it felt- how it crushed his heart into so many pieces that he spent the next few days picking them up. Pepper was pregnant. He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if he lost his baby. And now, in present times, he’s got a kid the age that those kids died. So, it feels worse- it feels like he can’t breathe. That could’ve been Pete, and he failed to protect them.

Watching himself struggle with his addiction was a surreal experience. He’s able to see how it’s wrong, how he should stop drinking as he sneaks a sip or two, too embarrassed for his team to see him. But he can remember how it felt.

“We should stop-,” Peter starts to say, wanting to move on.

Tony quickly covers his mouth with the back of his hand, knowing how alert the Avengers were. Especially Steve. He could hear a single squeak of a shoe and know that somebody was there. So, when every pair of eyes steer up to look up at the vents, the trio realised they had to get out of here. So… Tony’s first idea of a hideout wasn’t going to work.

There was a room you could only get to through the vents… but then Tony remembered, Clint was the master of the vents… and he’d find them. Therefore, Strange made a portal for them to get out of there in an instant. Landing in Tony’s lab, they fall on the floor with a quiet bang. Present Tony said it would be okay to camp out here, considering past Tony will only come down to grab a few more drinks and they can easily hide from him when he gets like this.

“Are you sure that he doesn’t come down here?” Strange asks.

“He- I mean- I might do some research tonight,” Tony says, rethinking the events of this dreadful night, “but I’ll be drunk so I won’t remember what’s in the room.”

“…Fine.”

They spend most of the night hiding in the corner of the room as Past Tony talks to DUM-E and spends a few hours messing around on his computer, periodically taking a sip from the glass of scotch on the desk. He doesn’t drink much, too far in his journey to let it all go, but it’s enough to make him feel a bit tipsy.

Past Tony tiptoes around DUM-E, sighing. “I don’t think I’m ever going to find out who Spiderman is. Who do you think it is, buddy?” he asks. The robot beeps a few times, making past Tony huff out a small laugh. “Yeah, as I said, we have no clue.” He stops, staring at where the trio is hiding. He rubs his eyes. “Think this scotch is making me see things,” he laughs to himself. “I should probably head up to bed.”

As past Tony heads up the stairs and the door shuts, Peter jumps up with this wide, boasting, the smile on his face. “Hah!” he laughs. “You were looking for me!”

“I told you that already, kid. Don’t know why you’re so excited.”

“You said you were ‘close’. Yeah, sure you were, Mr Stark. You had no idea!”

Tony smiles, pushing himself up from where he’s sat down. “Yeah, laugh it up, kid. I would’ve found out eventually. I was just… tired. Wasn’t on the full game. I bet you made it obvious that it was you, though, probably changed in the middle of the alleyways and went into your room with the suit still on.”

Peter’s face pales.

“…You did that exact thing didn’t you?” Tony laughs.

“Maybe.”

Strange looks between the two of them, “Enough about that. We’ve got more pressing matters. Like- what’s the plan?”

“The plan?” Peter questions.

The two adults look between each other, both keeping that same look of exasperation as they try to comprehend why Peter, the kid who’s been excited and asking for an opportunity like this since the moment he walked into the Avengers compound, hadn’t already thought of a plan. The simplest thing from one of his favourite films… the scene where the heroes sit around the fireplace or the table as they write down the plan- it’s the most crucial part! And Peter? He forgot.

“I’m sorry… but you left the child to draft the plan that’s going to save billions?” Peter says, wide-eyed. “That’s a lot of pressure on one teen’s shoulders, don’t you think? I barely handled exams, never mind this! Plus, I wasn’t even there! You two know the battle, you should know why you lost- surely- surely you would’ve thought of something!”

Tony’s brain runs through the ultimate battle, as painful as those memories were, to remember any slip-up Thanos would’ve had. Any second he messed up. “What if we steal the stones from him?”

“That means we have to let Vision die,” Strange says, “and it means we allow him to potentially snap again if we’re not fast enough. And this is our last chance.”

“But if we use the stone’s powers… we reverse all of this. We can make it so that the battle never happened in the first place. Nobody but us would even remember Thanos coming to Earth. And we’d live happily ever after,” Tony offers.

“The stones are too powerful, whoever snaps wouldn’t survive it. Peter might- with his healing- but... it’s not a risk I’m willing to take,” Strange says.

Peter frowns. “I’d do it, I swear. If it brings everyone back- it’s worth it.”

“But what if it doesn’t bring everyone back, Pete. What if it doesn’t bring back you?” Tony tells him. “I can’t lose you.”

“Surely one teenager doesn’t mean more to you than all your team, Tony. To Pepper. I mean, God, you have an unborn child. Pepper will still be pregnant. You can be a dad. All you have to do is let go of me and let me try-,” Peter says.

He looks up at Tony with big, doe, eyes and Tony wants to throw him back to the future. It was a mistake letting him do this. Peter’s his baby, he’s his son- and he loves him, and he’d rather die than let the kid use the stones.

“Peter, I am already a father. I think. I’m yours. You’re my kid, and I’m doing nothing that’ll risk your death. Of course, I want them back. I want nothing more than my other baby home- I want to hold them for the first time- but I want to see them grow up with you by their side. So… no. No, I’m not letting you do this.”

“But-,”

“No, Peter. You’re not doing it.”

“Fine,” Peter huffs, going back on the floor and putting his head over the one cushion they found on Tony’s old sofa he hauled down to the lab. “Then I’m going to sleep.”

“Kid, don’t be annoyed- I just want to keep you safe-“

“I’m not annoyed.”

“You’re being stupid, Peter. You can’t be the hero- not all the time. You’re not invincible, and you’re not ready for the big league yet. You’re not coming to the battle. You’ll stay inside and if I see you-,”

“You’re not my father, Tony! You can’t tell me what to do!” Peter shouts. He turns around so the man can’t see him and closes his eyes, so he doesn’t have to speak anymore. Strange throws the blanket over him, and the two walk away as the teenager sulks.

Tony blinks, sitting at his own desk- well, it’s past Tony’s desk- there are fewer bottles on this one. He won’t lie- hearing that coming out of Peter’s mouth stung. It really, really, hurt. He doesn’t want to blame the kid, Peter’s obviously just salty that he can’t lay his life on the line.

Refusing to talk to Strange, he tries to come up with another idea… but he can’t. He can’t think of anything. When Peter’s fallen asleep, Tony reaches down and kisses the side of his head even if the boy was annoyed with him. He sighs, turning to face Strange who’s ready with something to say.

“If you snap, you’ll die. If you don’t and Peter doesn’t, and we find another way, you’ll still die because of the spell we used to travel back in time. But if Peter snaps, and you tell him about what’s happening, he can use the stone’s powers to stop Thanos, to reverse everything, and keep you alive. I’m sure of it. I’m unaware if it would still take his memories- but-,”

Tony stops him. “No, no- it’s too much of a risk. You said it yourself. He could die.”

“We all could. It might be our only choice.”

“But- I can’t- I can’t just sacrifice him.”

“He might not die, Tony.”

“The word ‘might’ is really making me feel uneasy, Strange. If you’re not certain about this, how can I be?”

“You can’t.”

“You want to risk Peter’s life on a chance?”

“It’s all we have.”

Tony sighs. “I’ll keep looking. This plan is plan Z, and I mean that- it’s the last resort and you need to get medical attention to him immediately and-,”

“It’ll be okay, Tony.”

Just as Tony’s about to respond, there’s a knock on the door. Strange rushes around the corner and hides Peter, hiding as the lab door’s open to Steve’s override key. The door swings open and Steve’s standing there worried. Tony, on the other hand, freezes up. Steve’s there- he’s here and he’s alive. Tony doesn’t know how to think.

“Tony, are you okay?” Steve asks, tilting his head. “You look… terrified.”

“I know we lost people today, but it’s okay- I’ve lost people as well and it never gets any easier. But you tried- you lay down your life for them and they get that. People get that. You’re good,” he says, putting his hand on the billionaire’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Tony knows that he’s talking about the two kids he lost that day- technically today- but in the back of his mind- it sounds like he’s talking about the battle- how he lost everyone he ever loved. It feels like Steve is looking him in the eye and telling him there’s no way they could’ve won- there’s nothing he could’ve done that would’ve changed it. There’s no reason for him to feel like it’s all on him- and hearing that from Steve it’s a bit of closure- and in a way, it helps to calm him down before he falls under Thanos’ clutches one more time.

“Tony?”

Tony steps forward and hugs Steve. “Thank you,” he whispers. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear that.”

“…You don’t look well,” Steve whispers, his hand gently rubbing Tony’s back as they stay in the hug. “If you need anything- if you feel like drinking anything more then we’re all here for you- just pop down if you need it.”

“I love you guys,” Tony says. “I don’t say it enough.”

Steve pulls out from their embrace, and he smiles fondly up at Tony until he realises that he’s been looking long enough to make it a little awkward. “We love you too, Tony. See you tomorrow, okay?”

And Steve lets go- he doesn’t notice that this Tony isn’t his- he walks away and leaves the trio in the room by themselves once more. And as he hears the door shut, Tony sits by Peter, and he lets out a tear that he hides from- because this is it- it’s almost time and he’s just had a glimpse of what having his family with him will feel like. He can’t wait.

Now it’s time to save the world.