A mother's love
Robin moves to set Natasha down as soon as they enter the house but the girl tugs from where she had gripped fistfuls of her shirt and lets out an actual whine that makes Robin freeze.
“Okay, I hear you loud and clear, sweetheart,” Robin pulls her close once again and glances at Melina. “You good with Yelena?”
Melina nods her head. “Go.” There’s an unidentifiable look on her face that Robin can’t discern at the moment.
Robin turns and starts to walk up the stairs. Natasha gets stiffer with every step. Robin enters Natasha’s bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She moves toward the rocking chair in the corner and shifts Natasha so that she can sit.
With one hand, Robin starts undoing the laces on Natasha’s sneakers. Natasha lay limply against her, letting Robin slowly tug the red shoes from her feet. Robin sets the shoes to the side and reaches up to card her fingers through Natasha’s hair. “Sweetheart?”
Natasha inhales sharply. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Robin pressed her lips against Natasha’s forehead gently and the girl just… collapses in on herself at the affection.
“I was bad--” Natasha sniffles, tears pooling in her eyes as she curls in on herself. “I tried to be good but he took my pants off and I thought that he was-- I didn’t want-- I was scared, Robin!”
Robin’s heart clenches painfully in her chest. “I know, sweetheart. You were so very brave and I’m proud of you.”
Natasha shakes her head. “I hurt him. I wasn’t supposed to hurt any kids. They told me so. I couldn’t.”
“Baby girl, look at me,” Robin cups Natasha’s face to tilt the child’s head up. “Breathe, sweetheart. Come on, breathe with me.”
Robin inhales deeply, coaxing the child to follow. Natasha follows, taking a shaky breath in.
“Good girl. Let it out,” Robin breathes out slowly, her thumbs gently stroking Natasha’s cheeks.
Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, following Robin’s instructions.
“Good. You’re doing very well,” Robin said softly. “Again.”
They spend the next few minutes slowing Natasha’s breathing down until the child isn’t gasping for air. Quiet tears had trickled their way down Natasha’s cheeks, the only thing betraying the fact that the girl was crying.
Natasha pressed her face into Robin’s chest to hide her tears in shame and Robin rocks them both gently.
“I don’t like it when they touch me there,” Natasha finally whispers into the fabric of Robin’s shirt. “It hurts.”
Robin swallows hard at the negative emotions threatening to swallow her whole. “I’m so sorry they did that.” She manages to keep her voice even.
“You’re my handler but you don’t-- you don’t--” Natasha shakes her head, pulling herself closer to Robin. “You’re safe.”
Robin is hit with the realization out of nowhere and it nearly takes her breath away and makes her want to run.
This child in her lap is hers.
She…
She loves them.
Robin shifts to pull her closer, wishing that she could hold her forever and protect her from everything. She won’t be able to forever but she can do it for now.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Robin tells her softly. “I’ll keep you safe for as long as I can.”
Natasha sags against her. “I know… you’ve been doing it since we got here. You keep coming home hurt.”
Robin doesn’t lie to her. “I have.”
Natasha chews on her lower lip for a few moments. “Can you lay with me in bed like when I was sick?” She asked quietly, her voice hesitant and soft. “Please?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Robin might just comply with whatever little Natasha wanted. “Do you want to change into your pajamas?”
Natasha nods her head and Robin stands, moving and setting Natasha down on the bed before turning to her dresser.
She pulls out Natasha’s favorite pair of pajamas, a soft pair of blue pajamas with pink butterflies on them. She turns toward Natasha and is surprised to see her still dressed. Natasha usually stripped while Robin fetched her clothes.
“Are you okay?” Robin crouched in front of her, setting the pajamas down on the bed. Natasha looks up at her with a vulnerability that Robin had yet to see on her face.
Like when Natasha’s words fail her, she gestures. Just like Yelena did when either Melina or Robin was changing her, Natasha raised her arms.
Robin figures that she just wants to be little and taken care of in a way that she hadn’t before. Perhaps she was jealous of Yelena. Either way, Robin doesn’t call her out on it, tugging her shirt off.
Robin changes Natasha into her pajamas and peppers her face with kisses, just like she did with Yelena. “All snuggly and warm now, my little one.”
Robin finally catches the small smile on Natasha’s face. She combs her fingers through the copper hair on the top of her head. “Ready to lay down, my cuddle bug?”
Natasha shuffles to make room on her bed and Robin toes her boots off so she can lay next to her. Robin lays down on her side, feeling Natasha immediately worm her way against her, tucking her head just under Robin’s chin. Robin wraps an arm around her, gently rubbing her back.
“I know that you’re not my real mom,” Natasha said quietly. “But just for now, can I be yours? Just for a little bit?”
Robin swallows hard. “Of course, sweetheart. You can be mine.”
Natasha curls her fingers into Robin’s top. “Can I speak Russian for a little bit too?”
“Honey, you can speak Russian any time that we’re alone,” Robin said with a frown.
“I can?” Natasha asked in Russian.
“Of course you can. I thought you knew that sweetheart,” Robin said softly, switching to Russian.
Natasha shakes her head. “They told me to speak English only.”
Robin kissed the top of her head. “At home, you can speak Russian all you like. You’ve seen Yelena. She speaks in all sorts of languages with me.”
“But I’m not her,” Natasha replies quietly.
Robin hadn’t realized that Natasha needed her to explicitly clear when she tells her things. “I know you’re not. But you have my permission from here on out, okay?”
Natasha nods her head before turning to press her face against Robin’s shirt. “Would it be okay if I closed my eyes for a little bit?” She whispers.
“You can take a nap if you want,” Robin offers, moving her hand to stroke the child’s copper hair.
“Don’t leave me while I sleep, okay?” Natasha said so softly that Robin almost didn’t hear her.
Robin swallows hard before nodding her head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Natasha curls up against Robin and takes a nap.
Robin allows herself to wallow in her thoughts.
It’s been only two and a half months or so and she’s already gotten soft. Natasha needed a mom and Robin was there to fill that position.
Robin just didn’t realize how much she needed a kid. Sometimes, when Natasha asked for a hug with her arm gestures, Robin think that Natasha didn’t need that hug as much as she did and they both knew it.
This kid in her arms was her daughter. Robin couldn’t help her feelings about it. It was too late.
This kid was hers and Robin isn’t sure if she’d be able to handle watching whatever General Dreykov had in store for her play out.
Robin doesn’t want this mission to end. She wants to stay in Ohio with Melina and their children. She wants Melina to finally feel safe somewhere and she wants to be able to raise their girls like normal people do.
Robin might be able to negotiate terms with General Dreykov if she provides him with the son that he’s after. She might be able to convince him to let her keep one of them around.
Robin had saved too many people and collected very many life debts. She was going to make things work.
Robin didn’t care how many she had to cash in or even what she had to do in exchange. She’d do whatever it took.
Even if it involved killing General Dreykov.