The joys of motherhood
Robin wakes up the next morning to the dull throbbing constantly beating against her ribs. She sits up with a small groan, glancing at the clock to see that there was an hour or so until Melina and Natasha needed to be up for work and school.
Natasha’s bedroom door is closed when Robin checks and she doesn’t want to risk waking either her or Melina if she doesn’t need to. She shuffles past them and pokes her head inside of Yelena’s room.
The toddler is already up, firmly grasping the bars of her crib as she bounces on the bed. “Mama!” Yelena gasps, all sleepiness vanishing from her face when she spots Robin in the doorway. “Wake up!”
Robin chuckles. “Hello, little one. Good morning,” Robin croons in reply, moving toward Yelena. Yelena bounces in excitement, reaching her arms up to be carried.
“Mama’s not feeling well enough to carry you, little one,” Robin lowers the bars on the crib and Yelena slides onto the ground so she can dart about and explore the room.
She pokes at all of the toys that had been left. She picks each item up and turns it over in her hands before setting it down.
Robin watches as Yelena fishes some blocks out and then understands exactly why the Red Room hand-picked her when the toddler starts to arrange the blocks in alphabetical order.
Yelena lets out a hum of content when she’s finished before looking up at Robin. “Hungry?”
“Are you hungry, little one?” Robin reaches out to stroke the top of Yelena’s head. Yelena nods her head, knocking over the line of blocks before reaching her arms up to be picked up once again. “Honey, Mama already told you that she’s too tired to carry you right now. You need to walk like a big girl.”
Yelena frowns and scrunches her face up and Robin’s heart drops.
Yelena lets out a frustrated grunt, stomping her feet. “No! Up, mama!” She demands, her fingers curling into little fists. “Up! Up! Up!” She accents each word with a stomp of her foot.
“No up,” Robin replies gently and Yelena lets out a wail. Robin takes a moment to remind herself that Yelena is three. That she can’t properly express her wants and needs so she resorts to tantrums to try and convey what she needs.
Robin lowers herself in a crouch, wincing at the pain in her abdomen. “Yelena.” She calls softly. Yelena ignores her, kicking at the blocks she had meticulously lined up only minutes earlier. “Yelena?” Robin prompts again, raising her voice slightly.
“Up!” Yelena wails sharply, tears spilling over her cheeks as she angrily waves one of her fists at Robin.
Robin reaches out and grabs the hand that nearly smacks her in the face. “Yelena. Look at me. Look at mama.” She said firmly.
“Noooo!” Yelena squirms, trying to yank her arm out of Robin’s hold and when that doesn’t work, she flops onto the ground with a yell.
Robin lets her arm go and observes as Yelena kicks her feet on the ground and squirms around. Robin waits because there’s no trying to reason with an upset toddler in the throes of a meltdown.
So Robin watches until Yelena tires herself out a few minutes later and grumpily gives one last frustrated kick to the carpet.
“You must feel very angry,” Robin comments. “And frustrated because mama can’t hold you.”
“Up!” Yelena lets out a pitiful whine into the carpet, her face flushed red from anger and tears.
“Little one, mama got hurt,” Robin finally decides on saying and it grabs Yelena’s attention, the head of blonde hair pokes up from where Yelena had shoved it into the carpet.
“Boo-boo?” Yelena questioned with a sniffle as if she didn’t have a meltdown moments ago.
Robin nods her head and repeats the term. “Mama’s got a boo-boo. So mama needs you to walk like a big girl.”
Yelena wipes her face on her arm and Robin grimaces, grabbing a baby wipe to clean up the tears and snot from Yelena’s face.
Yelena lets out a hiccuping sigh, squirming away from Robin’s hand, and prefers to shove her face into Robin’s stomach instead.
Robin’s breath hitched, biting back the cry of pain, and gently pushed Yelena away long enough to shift and kneel so that she could hug Yelena instead and let the toddler push her face against her shoulder.
Yelena finally calms all the way down when Robin holds her, tucking her cheek against Robin’s collar as her thumb moves to brush against her lips.
“Feeling better now, little one?” Robin strokes the curly blond hair on the top of the toddler’s head. Yelena simply wiggles her way closer into Robin’s embrace and lets out a soft sigh of content.
The door hesitantly creaks open and Robin looks up to see Melina. She instantly knew by the way that Melina carried herself that she was expecting to walk in on Robin hurting Yelena to keep her quiet.
“Natasha has requested to speak with you,” Melina comments, glancing them over. “I’ve got this.”
“You hear that? Mommy’s gonna stay with you?” Robin can’t help but kiss the top of Yelena’s head.
Yelena peels away from her and turns toward Melina, her face still flushed from her tantrum. She raises her arms up. “Up, mommy?”
Melina froze when Yelena called her ‘mommy’. Melina reaches down and picks Yelena up and Robin pretends that she doesn’t see Melina’s fingers ghost under Yelena’s pajama top to check for marks.
Robin was going to have to get used to them assuming the worst and thinking that Robin was going to lash out and beat them into submission if they even breathed wrong.
She fears the first time that she loses her temper and raises her voice and wonders just how violently they’d flinch from her. Robin works on trying to stand back up without keeping over from the throbbing in her abdomen.
Natasha is sitting up in bed when Robin enters.
“You needed me?” Robin asks and frowns when she sees Natasha shift uncomfortably, her face red and eyes averted with shame.
“I… made a mess…” Natasha whispers and moves the sheets slightly and it lets Robin see the damp patch on the pajamas and sheets.
“Come on,” Robin moves to the closet to grab some fresh clothes for Natasha, listening to the girl slide out of bed. “Into the bathroom.”
Natasha refuses to look at Robin and is content to stare at her feet the whole time Robin sets everything up for a shower.
Robin throws the soiled sheets and pajamas into the wash while Natasha bathes. She returns once Natasha has dried and dressed, her arms wrapped around herself in a self-soothe motion.
“I’m not upset that you wet the bed,” Robin tells her as she runs a comb through Natasha’s wet locks. Natasha stiffens slightly, betraying the fact that she had thought exactly that. “These things happen.”
“I’m not an infant. I am a Widow,” Natasha tells her firmly. “Such things are unacceptable.”
Robin sets the hairbrush down and spins Natasha around so that she can cup her face between her hands and tilt her head up to look at her. “Look at me, Natasha. Do I look upset?”
Emerald green eyes flicker to look at Robin and note her facial expressions. “No…”
“Come here,” Robin gently tugs Natasha closer so that she can hug her. “It’s okay, honey. We’ll figure this out. You do not have to be ashamed about it. I’m not going to strip you or belittle you or anything that the Red Room does concerning this.”
Robin feels Natasha leaning into her hold at her words.
“You’re safe here,” Robin dares to add on softly. “Everything is going to be okay.”
Robin stands in the bathroom just holding Natasha until Melina calls up to them that breakfast was ready.
Robin pulls away after a few moments. “C’mon. You have your first day of school today.” She guides Natasha out of the bathroom and follows her downstairs.
Yelena was eating a bowl of the sugary cereal that she had convinced Robin to get, using her fingers to fish around and pluck out pieces from the bowl.
Robin spots the phones and files from the car stacked on the table and moves toward them. She picks the file off the top and flicks it open. Her heart sinks at the sight of the school photo of a boy grinning up at her. The other few files held the same thing. Equally grinning children with gaps in their teeth and joy in their eyes.
These kids were Natasha’s classmates and she needed to form friendships with them. The whole reason there was a young Widow on this mission in the first place.
Robin lines the photos up neatly, glancing at Natasha who was eyeing Yelena while she ate breakfast. Robin calls Natasha over to her once she finishes eating. Natasha pauses at the pictures of the children neatly lined up on the table.
“This is your mission,” Robin picks up the first photo. “Kristofori Alouise. A boy in your class. Remember his name and face.”
Natasha stares at the photo for a few moments before looking up at Robin. “Am I to kill him?”
“You are to befriend him,” Melina corrects before Robin can. “Along with these others. The goal is to get invited over for playdates so I can grow closer with their parents.”
Natasha’s eyes flicker over each photo before nodding slowly. “I… can do that.” She said, looking up at Robin. “I won’t fail the mission.”
Robin hates that there was a mission in the first place for her. At least it was merely making some friends on the playground rather than murdering some government official in an empty hotel room. “I know you won’t.”
Robin does feel slightly useless as Melina gets both kids ready and in the car for daycare and school.
“I’m sorry that I can’t do more,” Robin apologizes, a hand cupped over her aching ribs.
“Don’t worry about it,” Melina glances up at Robin. “Will you be able to pick them up today?”
Robin nods her head. “Of course.” She’d get a few hours alone with them before Melina came back. She hoped to get Natasha and Yelena to see each other as sisters or at least become closer. “You’re going to do wonderful at work, sweet girl.”
Some of the tension held in Melina’s shoulders bleed out at her words. “Yes… I do believe so.”
Robin reaches up to cup one side of Melina’s face before meeting her in another hesitant kiss. Robin watches as Melina slips inside the driver's seat and pulls out of the driveway.
And then Robin was all alone.
Again.