Walking before running
Yelena’s profound grasp of languages came when Robin went to pick her up from daycare and she was told that Yelena didn’t speak a lick of English, only Russian. The news was both surprising and confirmed Robin’s thoughts.
Yelena, although a Russian baby through and through, had probably been purposefully put with multilingual families in her preparation for the Red Room.
But Yelena darts toward her and wraps her arms around Robin’s legs and grins up at her. “Up now, mama?”
The surprised look the employee gave Robin made Robin sigh. Robin was going to have to talk to Yelena about speaking English before she blew their cover.
“Mama’s still got a boo-boo,” Robin tells her, reaching down to brush her fingers against Yelena’s head as she guides her out to the car and steels herself as she lifts Yelena up into the car seat.
“Let’s go get your big sister now,” Robin smiles at Yelena as the toddler squirms in her seat with pent up energy.
Natasha looked stiff and weary when Robin picked her up. She carries herself in a way that reminded Robin of older Widows. There’s a smile on her face but it’s not real.
“You can relax now, kiddo,” Robin helps Natasha buckle in before brushing a strand of hair from her face. “School’s out for the day. It’s okay.”
She feels Natasha lean into her hand and makes a split-second decision. “How about we go get a treat to celebrate your first day, hmm?”
“Treat?” Yelena echoes with wide eyes.
“I think that we’ve earned some ice cream,” Robin clasped her hands together. Yelena bounces in her seat.
“Ice cream! Ice cream!” She parrots with a squeal that makes Natasha flinch.
“What do you think, kiddo?” Robin asked her, gently smoothing her hair back. “Are you up for some ice cream?”
Natasha slowly nods her head, her eyes fixed on her red sneakers. It does make Robin wonder just what had happened that made Natasha immediately draw into herself.
Robin has to search up the nearest ice cream place. Natasha is still in her seat the whole ride, her eyes never straying from her feet.
There’s a line in the store as the trio enter. Natasha seems lost in her own head and Robin has to set a hand onto the back of her head to guide her forward each time the line moves.
“What kind of ice cream do you want?” Robin asked the two, glancing over at the display.
“Choc’late!” Yelena chirps, bouncing in place. “Please, mama?”
“One chocolate ice cream for my little one coming right up,” Robin brushed her fingers over Yelena’s hair before glancing at the copper-haired girl next to her. “Natasha? What kind of ice cream would you like?”
Natasha’s eyes finally leave her shoes and flicker to look over the case of ice cream. Robin supposed that offering so many choices wasn’t a good idea.
“Let’s keep it simple, yeah?” The hand that Robin has set on Natasha’s shoulder rubbed it’s thumb against the nape of Natasha’s neck. “Three choices. Chocolate. Vanilla. Strawberry. Which one?”
Natasha is still quiet and their turn was coming soon so Robin looks down at her, trying to decipher what Natasha needed.
Did she feel the need to earn it? Did she think Robin was tricking her?
“Tell me the name of the flavor you want in five languages,” Robin orders and Natasha’s eyes finally flash to look up at her in surprise. “Come on.”
Robin doesn’t speak many languages. English, Russian, some Spanish, and just enough German to understand the basics.
Natasha finally opens her mouth. She starts listing quietly until she ends in English. “Strawberry.”
Yelena, thinking it was a game, starts to babble on and ask for ice cream in nearly nine languages.
Robin orders a strawberry, a chocolate, and a vanilla ice cream. She carries the three cups to one of the booths and sets them onto the table.
Yelena rests on her knees in the booth so she’s tall enough to reach the table and pull the spoon out of the chocolate and shove it into her mouth.
Robin pushes the cup of pink ice cream in front of Natasha. “You’ve earned this. Enjoy.” She tells the girl before grabbing the spoon of the vanilla and taking a bite of her own.
Yelena is halfway through hers, chocolate smeared on her mouth and fingers, before Natasha finally takes a bite of hers.
Yelena probably gets more chocolate on herself than in her actual mouth. She turns toward Robin and eyes her ice cream. “More?” She questioned.
Robin lets out a snort of laughter, watching as Natasha jolts slightly at the noise. “Do you want to try a bite of mama’s?”
Yelena bobs her head eagerly and opens her mouth. Robin scoops some of her own ice cream up and guides the spoon to Yelena’s mouth. “Is it good?”
“Yummy!” Yelena nods her head before glancing at Natasha’s. “More?”
“That’s your sister’s ice cream,” Robin chides, scraping the last bit of vanilla ice cream from her cup. “Do you want mama’s last bite?”
Yelena eagerly accepts it and Robin then works on cleaning up the mess of chocolate Yelena had dribbled everywhere. Yelena grunts and squirms and accidently kicks the bruising on Robin’s abdomen with a stray flail of her leg.
Robin inhales sharply, quickly pinning Yelena down to clean the rest of the mess off of her face. Natasha had stopped eating to observe Robin.
“Are you done?” Robin asks when she looks at the half-finished puddle of what was once ice cream in Natasha’s cup.
Natasha nods her head and Robin throws their trash away before moving to corral the children back out toward the car. She had been busy digging in her pocket for the keys when she saw Natasha trip and hit the ground out of the corner of her eye.
Robin then realized that Natasha had been trying to ask her something and she didn’t pick up on the cues. Natasha’s laces were untied and probably had been since Robin picked her up from the school.
“You okay?” Robin carefully kneels next to her, glancing over Natasha’s scraped knees.
“Mama, boo-boo!” Yelena tugs on Robin’s sleeve.
“I see, little one,” Robin tells Yelena before glancing at Natasha. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you needed help.”
Natasha had gone back to staring at her shoes so Robin reached out and tied the laces.
“We can clean your knees up when we get home,” Robin said, watching Natasha jerk slightly at the last word. Robin reaches out and gently cups Natasha’s face. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
Natasha had gone still at the apology so Robin didn't push.
“Do you think you can get up?” Robin asked but Natasha was already climbing to her feet. Robin takes a moment to ready herself for the throbbing as she hauls herself back up from where she had been crouching.
The drive home is nearly as quiet as it was to go pick them up. Robin reaches out and turns the radio on to fill the silence.
The three of them shuffle inside and Robin ushers them upstairs to her office.
Natasha stiffens with each step.
“You did nothing wrong,” Robin reassures her. “You didn’t earn swats. I’m only going to clean your knees up.”
Yelena is happy to explore Robin’s office as Robin cleans up Natasha’s knees. Natasha doesn’t make any noise as Robin wipes away the blood that had dried to reveal the raw skin underneath.
There’s a thump behind her as something clatters and Natasha jolts from where she was seated on Robin’s desk.
Robin turns and her heart skips a beat as she sees that Yelena had pulled one of the books from her bookshelf. Only the book was hollow inside and a gun had clattered to the floor. “Don’t touch that!” She snaps, lunging to snatch it up before Yelena can touch it.
The gun was thankfully unloaded but she pulled something in her already bruised ribs, Yelena’s lower lip wobbled, and Natasha looked like she stopped breathing all together at the sight of the gun.
Robin really, really wished that Melina was there. She shoves the gun back into the hollow book along with the ammo that had spilled out, taking a deep breath as she pulls Yelena into a gentle hug. “Mama’s sorry for yelling, little one. This is dangerous. You mustn’t ever touch this.”
Yelena burrows into her hold, letting out a sniffle. Robin takes a few deep breaths before she stands and pulls Yelena up into her arms, setting the book high up on the bookshelf out of their reach.
“Why don’t you sit next to your big sister?” Robin suggests, setting Yelena down onto the desk next to Natasha. She turns her attention back toward Natasha’s knees.
“Big sister wanna play?” Yelena reaches toward Natasha’s arm. Natasha jerks away from her.
“No.” Natasha replies, her voice quiet but firm.
Yelena didn’t let this deter her. “I’ve got blocks.” She declares, looking up at Natasha. “And dollies. Wanna play, big sister?”
“I’m not your sister!” Natasha snaps at her in Russian and Yelena scowls. Robin taps Natasha’s leg in warning and Natasha glances over at the thin bamboo sticks in the corner before going quiet.
“Yes! Mama said so,” Yelena also replies in Russian although she stumbled over the pronunciation for a second.
Robin applies a band-aid over each of Natasha’s knees before pulling herself to her feet, the pain so sharp that she sees white spots for a few moments. “Natasha, why don’t you go play with your little sister for a big please. Mama needs-- she needs a moment.”
Natasha slides off of the desk and glances up at Robin. Robin helps Yelena off of the desk and pushes her toward Natasha. Natasha reluctantly takes Yelena’s hand to lead her from the room.
Now that the children were gone, Robin lets out a gasp of pain and immediately starts flicking through the books on her bookshelf. There were more hidden weapons that she hadn’t been told about.
Yelena had a gun and if something had somehow managed to happen then it would have been all Robin’s fault.
Robin’s heart is beating dangerously fast in her chest as she takes a look at the pile of weapons she had collected laying on her desk.
Robin hears the door downstairs opens as Melina calls out and announces her presence. She hears the girls make their way downstairs to greet her. It isn’t too long until there’s a knock on her office door.
“Enter--” Robin manages to speak and the door creaks open to reveal Melina. Melina’s eyes immediately land on the pile of weapons on Robin’s desk. “How was your day?”
“Satisfactory.” Melina replies and slowly enters the room. “How was your day?”
It’s a very simple question but Melina’s words are soft and something inside of Robin breaks as the past few days finally catch up with her. A sob escapes her lips faster than she can catch it, immediately reaching up to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep quiet as tears fall and she curls in on herself.
She was a mother and a wife and a doctor and a soldier and a handler and everybody is looking toward her for guidance and Yelena could have been seriously hurt today and--
A hesitant hand falls onto her shoulder and Robin automatically flinches away from the touch until she looks up at Melina’s face that was blurred by tears.
Melina’s hands gently grasp at Robin’s collar and pulls her down until Robin’s head rests onto her shoulder.
Robin can’t remember the last time someone comforted her while she cried. Melina and Natasha probably couldn’t either.
Robin doesn’t make much noise, her sobs muffled behind her hand as she cries. Melina’s hand had slowly started to stroke the short dark hair on Robin’s head.
Robin lets herself cry for a few moments until she can manage to jam the cap back onto the bottle of emotions and pull herself together. She’s so tired and she hurts and General Dreykov could call and demand reports at any moment.
Robin had been lying on her reports and keeping bits of information out. Natasha wetting the bed, Yelena having a meltdown, her and Melina’s kiss.
General Dreykov could very well demand that Robin’s legs were broken if she lied. But these people, these girls, didn’t deserve whatever General Dreykov cooked up for them for merely being human.
They weren’t objects. They were people.
And at the moment, they were Robin’s people. Her family. Her wife and her children.
That’s what a devoted wife and mother would do, right? Lie to protect those she loved?
So Robin does just that. After the girls have gone to bed that night, Robin stays up and categorizes the weapons in her office and writes reports.
She lies.