Chapter 17
You are dead, gone, he was supposed to protect you and he failed again, but this time you won't come back to him, he would never get to feel you, your affection again, he would never get the chance to make you the princess of Asgard, his wife, the mother of his children, all his dreams are shattered in just a second. Why wasn't he better than this? Why didn't he keep you more secure? It hasn't even been a minute since you were gone but it felt like a lifetime to him, he felt like he died too with you, he'll never be able to get over this. Never.
Eddie ran over to loki and saw him holding your lifeless body in his arms, you are dead but he still can do something or venom can. A symbiote can not only heal but also regenerate it's host, if he transfers venom in your body maybe you'd live again, even if it doesn't work he have to try. He crouched down to you and loki pulled you back "No stay away from her, she's not going anywhere, she'll stay with me forever" he mumbled mindlessly, his eyes burning with hopelessness, he won't let anyone take you. "Loki I'm trying to help just trust me with this okay, you don't want her to die right ?" He consoles loki and he finally looks at him "Pleaseee" Eddie held your right hand in his and black slimy venom comes out of him and gets inside you. "Come on come on venom you can do this, help her, you like her I know that, so bring her back" Eddie pleads and loki is just looking at you, hoping for a miracle. They saw the wound closing and healing rapidly but there was still no pulse or a heartbeat.
Eddie sighs when nothing happened and he looks at loki apologizing with his eyes. Loki was going to cry and scream again as he felt his last hope diminishing but then he felt it, he felt your hand twitching in his, he felt your eyes fluttering, and you woke up with a gasping breath, you sat up and coughed up residues of blood from your mouth. Wanda gasps and she sat down next to you. She squeezed Loki's shoulder and he finally snapped out, you were here, you were breathing, you were alive, you were alive. "What the hell happened?" You looked around and when he heard your voice that's when he finally moved, that's when he clutched you so tightly in his arms, you felt suffocated. "Loki baby" you whisper softly and he couldn't believe it, you are here with him and there's nothing more he could have asked for. He's still in a trance, he watched you die in his arms, are you back or he is just hallucinating?
"Don't you dare leave us like that again" wanda yells at you and she pulls you in for a hug almost snatching you from loki. You can't help but cry, you felt yourself drifting away but did you really die? How are you alive if you did "How am I alive" you mumbled and then you heard a voice in your head "Because of me, hello y/n, was waiting for a chance to get inside you" you yelped as you heard the voice and loki pulls you closer to him "what's wrong princess?" You look at him, he looks so defeated, so sad, so hurt, and you just want to calm him down but so much is happening in the moment. "What is that voice in my head? What is that"
"It's me venom, we are venom now, you belong to venom now, I like this vessel, it's warm and clean" you hear him and you shake your head. "Get it out of me please" you scream and you hear venom groaning, eddie keeps his hand on yours and it gets transferred again, once inside Eddie morphs into venom "I saved your life, be grateful tiny human" you clutch onto loki when you see it but he assures you that it won't harm you "thank you eddie" you whisper and venom gets offended again "not Eddie, it's venom, did you see Eddie get inside you and rearrange your guts?" venom said and loki glares at him. "What? Now we both can say that we have been inside her" for god's sake he needs to stop before loki strangles him.
Eddie comes back and you thank him for saving your life with the help of venom or resuscitating would be a better term. "Loki, Bucky he fought for me, he almost died, god please tell me he's okay" you ask him and he have no idea how Bucky is so he looks at steve "Sam took him to the hospital, super serum in him will help him heal faster, don't worry about him, we are glad he did what he could to save you" you look at steve and nod gratefully. Once everything seems okay, all of the avengers get back to the tower and loki gets you admitted in the medical care facility they have in the tower itself, even though you felt fine he just wanted to be sure. Doctor took your blood samples and ordered few scans. But you didn't need this, you needed him , he needed you "princess you just lie down and rest okay? Your body requires it my love, do you need something, tell me what you need" he mumbles softly as he kisses your forehead "I need you lo, I need to make sure you are okay" you put your hands on his cheek and he closes his eyes at the touch "I'm okay princess, you're here and alive, don't need anything" he mumbles.
But he's not okay, how could he be okay, you died in his arms, and he just watched, he couldn't help, he couldn't do anything, he couldn't bring you back, barnes almost lost his life to protect you, Eddie brought you back from the death , what did he do? Nothing, he was the reason you even got in such trouble in the first place and he just allowed you to die like that. It was almost early in the morning, your one year anniversary. But loki didn't mention it, doctor advised you to get complete rest, having venom inside you did heal you but it also exhausted you. When you fell asleep you didn't get up for next 12 hours, loki sat right next to you, watching you breathe every second, sometimes he would get up and place his palm over your chest to feel your heartbeat. However when you woke up he wasn't there, you were hooked to the iv drips so you couldn't really get up from the bed, the doctor informed you that you can leave soon.
Your eyes looked for loki, where is he? Why isn't he here? Soon wanda came to see you and she walked you to his room "Where is he wan? I'm so worried about him" she looked at you sympathetically as if she knew something. "I don't know how to say this but him n thor left for Asgard, like two hours ago" you almost didn't want to believe it why would he leave you like that? "Did he leave a note or something for me, a message? Something?" She nods in no and Your eyes teared up and you missed him so much, you just wanted to be close to him and shower him with love n affection but he wasn't there, neither to give nor to take.
Two months passed after that unfortunate day ,whole two months, you didn't hear from him, he didn't come back, your heart broke every day you didn't get to see him or touch him. Why would he do this again after he promised you that he would never let go, Tony insisted for you to stay in the tower as long as you needed to. None of them were allowing you to leave, you tried to pass your day by spending time with Wanda, and you visited Bucky after that day too. He almost died because of you and the least you could have done is give him company while he healed. Eddie was offered to work with avengers as an avenger and he agreed, he was fun to be around as well and venom has taken a very special interest in you. He threatened to eat everyone who bothered you even in the slightest. You lived rent free in the tower in Loki's room but you still wanted to earn your own money,so Eddie dropped you to work, everyday, and sometimes him or Bucky would pick you up. You had to let go of your apartment, your first home with loki.
You were grateful for their help, but your heart cried everyday for loki, you missed his smile, his face, his adorable eyes, his love and touch and the affection he used to drown you in. You would miss how adorable he used to look when he would pick you up from work, you missed his essence and his whole precious existence. You missed doing the same for him, Why would he just go and not tell you, why would he hurt you like that again. How can he do this to you. You had nightmares almost everyday, you'd see Thanos and maw and them torturing you and wake up shivering and sweating. Why wasn't he there to comfort you?
After excruciating two n half months you finally saw him again, you just came back from work with Bucky and he gave you a sympathetic look as he saw loki in the living room with thor. They both were in their asgardian attire, horns and everything and you have never seen someone so magnificent. Oh how you have missed your sweet baby lo but he was lost somewhere in his head while thor chatted with everyone excitingly. When thor saw you he came up to give you a hug "Lady y/n how are you fairing now? Sorry we had to leave due to an urgent matter" He asked "good, you both are back" you mumble as you teared up and he looks at loki, "I knew it, he didn't inform you about our departure, did he? He lied" you nod in no and he hugged you again.
You saw loki going straight to his room, he didn't even look at you or talk to you, he ignored you like you didn't exist. Like he wasn't seeing you after months, as if he didn't leave you all alone here again. You were angry with him, so upset, so hurt but you knew he didn't do anything without reason, and you wanted to know the reason. When you stepped in the room he was still in his Asgardian attire, he looked as good as you remembered him, even better so, in all of his royal glory, that cape made him look so majestic, those horns framed his head perfectly. All of a sudden you felt unworthy of having a god like him as your lover. He looked at you once you entered the room "You're living in my chamber?" He asked you as if you were a stranger living there "Mmmhm" you mumbled and he sighed "I'll find another one, they have plenty of rooms in this tower" why he is being like this ? What did you do? Why he is being so distant like a stranger?
You walk up to him and you got closer n closer until he was so close to you that you could feel his warmth, you could smell his essence, you pulled him in by holding the leather of his mantle or whatever they called it in asgard and he shuddered "Y/n, stop this" he warns you firmly and he tried to pull your hands away from his clothes "what did I do lo? Why are you doing this to me?" You sob as you pull him closer, you stood on your tip toes as you placed your head in between his neck "I'm not doing anything to you, y/n just get away from me please" he tried to pull you off again but your hold on him was so tight he would have to manhandle you to get you off "What's going on lo? What is this baby? What's wrong talk to me please" you beg, you must seem pathetic but you need to know. You need to know why he's treating you like a stranger. You're his princess.
"What's wrong? What's wrong is that you died y/n, you died and I did nothing, that's what's wrong, I let you die" he said angrily and tried to pull you off him again, you being this way is killing him and it's making things harder for him "you saved my life lo, you saved me from Thanos, I'm here because of you" you whisper in his ears, you needed your lo back, you needed him back desperately. You need to drown him with your affection and you needed it in return, you need to pull him out of this. "No miss Y/n Y/l/n you're here because of barnes and you're alive breathing in front of me because of Brock, not me, so why don't you go and allow them to court you, they won't let you die atleast" you hear him and it breaks your heart, is he leaving you for real? Is he allowing you to slip so easily after everything you both have been through? He never wanted to hurt you like this ever again but he have to, because you'll never be safe with him, he'll just let you die again and he can't let that happen, you deserve to live a long happy life with a man who would be able to protect you atleast.
"This is madness loki, you don't want this I know you don't baby please don't do this I love you lo" you plead him again and you kiss him, he didn't want to give in but as soon as he felt your lips on his, he couldn't stop, he have missed you more than you can imagine, being away from you killed him from inside, he is just a shell of the man he used to be when he was with you, when he was yours, he didn't leave you that day, he left his will to live, his sanity, his reason to smile, his princess. He picked you up and walked towards the dresser in his room, he sat you down on it and kissed you rough and quick, he has been away from you too long, every touch of yours is igniting the old flame and passion inside him but he can't do this "You listen to me y/n, you're just a mortal, and I'm a god, look at me, I'm a god y/n, been alive for a millennium, you were right that day, you're going to die someday and I would still be here, and I thought I was ready for that, but when it actually happened I wasn't ready, I'll never be ready, so why put us both through all that pain, go find a man with whom you won't have to worry about that" his voice was firm but his lips were all over you, you were making this so hard for him by being like this, why wouldn't you just be a normal woman and leave him for hurting you like this.
"I would take everything if it means I get to be with you lo, you're my forever, you're my sweet baby are you not? nobody else will take your place in my life, nobody can, I belong to you" you kiss him passionately again and he moaned in your mouth , you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, being as close as you can with him. And every touch every whisper, every movement of your hips made him moan, he have missed your body and he have craved your soul "You'll find someone y/n, you'll have line of suitors waiting for you, I can name two just in the tower itself, I have seen how they look at you precious y/n" he whispered as he sucked on your neck until it turned blue.
Why was he being this way, his body wanted to be so close to you but his words were venomous."Don't hurt me lo, I know you don't want to, let me fix this okay?" you whisper as your hands trailed over his chest and moved down until you found his bulge, you gave him a squeeze and he moaned "fuckk y/n ..stop please, you're just hurting yourself at this point, let go of me please, you would be happier" he grabbed your hand and wrapped it around his neck as he kissed you again "no never, love me lo, please I need you" you whisper in his ears and he can't believe what is happening in the moment, did he really think he could just toss you aside and you would just give up on him like he did on you? Did he not know his princess at all? Ofcourse you're going to fight for him, he just needs to be more cruel with you "Begging for your warm precious body to be used in the heat of the moment? Even when I'm rejecting you again and again? Is that really what you want sweet y/n?"
You should be upset with him for this, you should be so angry with him for talking to you like this, for disrespecting you, you should slap his adorable beautiful face and maybe that would bring him back to his senses but you need him desperately "yess pleasee lo, missed you please" you sob and his heart sank at the sight, his precious y/n, his sweet y/n that he was breaking slowly, more n more every second while you're only looking and hoping for his love and affection, his heart felt so heavy, so dead, but it was for your own good, he was hurting you so bad and you were still willing to be his, he'll never find a woman like you again "I'm not your lo anymore y/n, I'm not yours and I hope you understand that" he whispered and you shake your head in no, he'll akways be yours no matter what he says. He waved his hands to get you both undressed and you shivered as the coldness of the room hits your bare skin "You want to get fucked one last time by a god, mortal? Hmm? I'll fuck you so good y/n I promise" he thrusts his cock in one quick motion and you moan loudly, he growls as he sees you so lost in him, your cunt so tight n warm, tighter than he remembered, he have missed everything about you and he will never not regret hurting you so badly but he would rather see you alive and away from him then have you dead with him. He didn't make love to you night, he fucked you like he promised.
Once he came inside you and made you cum on his cock he held onto you for a minute, before he picked you up and laid you down on the bed, he threw the duvet on you so you can cover yourself with it "Stay" you ask him softly and he can't do this again, he's not that strong. He's so weak for you and you're not showing him any mercy. He takes out his clothes from the closet and he starts to dress himself up. You walk over to him still naked, and turn him around, you cup his cheeks and you kiss him as you whisper "Stay lo, love me again please" you kiss him and he did, he took you again and again and again until you both were satiated, or atleast until the physical thirsts were quenched "I love you lo, I love you so much, stay baby please stay, let's fix this, I'll help you baby" you whisper, his breathing hard from cumming inside you again "I don't love you y/n and you should engrave that in your head, I moved on, time away from you made me realise that I didn't really need you as much as I thought I did" everything he said felt like a knife through your heart, hell you'd take the pain you felt before dying than take this, he got up this time, he wouldn't let you drag him in your sweetness and warmth again. He needs to go before he crumbles.
"Lo? Please, I'm your princess, you promised you'd never leave, I am so alone without you please" You sobbed and grabbed the duvet to cover yourself as you followed him, he was almost out of the door, you were begging in front of a man to love you again. But it wasn't just some man, it was your lo. You were his. He was yours. He wouldn't just leave you like that.
He smiled as he looked at you "I also promised to keep you safe and failed, add one more disappointment to the list why don't you?" He stepped out of the room but came back again and looked at you, his eyes teary and it filled you with hope, your lo was still in there, you just needed to pull him out
"And maybe I shouldn't have raised your hopes up like that, just so you know, I'm betrothed to the youngest Princess of Vanaheim Aliksia, so no Y/n, You're not my princess anymore"
And then he slammed the door shut on his way out. And he finally was able to break your heart.