Chapter 5
"Wanda I'll totally feel out of the place there" you argued with Wanda, she wanted to take you as her plus 1 for black widow and hulk's wedding. But you were not close with them, you were not even invited, you met them like twice and it was very formal. You still called them black widow and hulk instead of their names so there's that.
"You would not, and it's not like you don't know them, also you know Clint and thor and ofcourse me and umm loki maybe?" She mumbled his name and your heart skipped a beat, but would he want to see you? And would you be able to control your emotions if you see him, what if he is with someone already. No you can't go "why don't you take umm vision?" you smirk and she blushes , you suspected she had a huge crush on him because of the way she talked about him "why ..why would I take him, and he's invited already, he lives there" she argued and you roll your eyes "fine fine" .
And that's how you ended up at the rehersal dinner, feeling totally out of place as you expected, all these fancy people with their fancy shamcy attitude. "Are you y/n, friend of wanda?" You turn around and see vision. You have never met him before and wow he was more red then he looks in pictures "Yeah, uh, hi" you giggle a little "wanda talks about you" he looks at me and I smile "she talks about you too, all the time" you tell him and if he wasn't so red already you might have caught him blushing, "You seem discomfited" he says but the truth is you didn't know what that word meant, uncomfortable maybe? So you went with it "yeah I'm totally out of my element here, I mean this is not my crowd, I'm not saying I'm above these people, haha totally not, kind of opposite" you blabbered and he looks at you, his eyes focused as if thinking "hmm I'm trying to understand what you're saying but the truth is, humans make these boundaries, no matter who you are, deep down you are all made of the same thing, same atom and born the same way and you all go the same way after you die so who decides that one human is above another? Another human itself, the day we understand that, all of you will exist in equal harmony" he finishes & you feel taken aback. He was an intellect, no wonder wan is crushing on him.
"Thank you for that vision" he smiles a little and then he leaves. Just like that. You look around and loki is nowhere to be seen, did he see you already, is he avoiding you ? You have no clue. Your heart is beating faster and faster the more time you spend here, what if he left again for Asgard or other planet, maybe you shouldn't have come.
"Okay I did my part, now can you get loki out of his room or he's going to mope and sulk about her in his room while she's waiting out here" wanda says to Clint and he gets on his feet, quicker than a leopard. All of them were so done with you two hurting for each other, especially you, you had no idea why loki did what he did and you need to know, then you can both find ways to fix what went wrong or more likely fix the witch who caused the problem.
Loki joined the party, and when he entered the room, you stood right in front of his eyeline, on the opposite site. Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at him, so handsome so gorgeous, he looked exactly like how he did when you first saw him, his hair was longer though and wavier. He looked like a Disney prince, how did you even survive without him, well you know how, but it has been the hardest thing you have ever had to do in your life. When your eyes met with his, he instantly looked softer, was that you who made him look that way? Is he happy to see you? So, your feet stepped in his direction involuntarily. But What if he doesn't want to talk to you, what if he turns around and leave ?
"Hey lo"
You smile at him and maybe just maybe you shouldn't have used the nickname.
"Hello y/n"
So he is not turning around and walking the other way, he's talking, to you "you are here" you say nervously and he nods "so are you" he looks down at your chest then went lower and if you didn't know him as well as you did you would think he was staring at your chest but he was just admiring the dress you wore and maybe your breasts, you hoped so "you look beautiful y/n, like always" he says softly and you get flustered, why are you getting aroused he didn't even do anything. He said 5 words to you "Ahh this was the fanciest thing I had in my closet" you mumble.
All he wanted to do was take you to his room and beg, beg for forgiveness, beg so that you can forgive him for hurting you the way he did, beg and cry at your feet until he pays for the pain he caused you, beg you to take him back. And then maybe just maybe if you will agree to do all that, he would beg you take him slowly and intimately, lay you down on his bed and would make love to you like never before, give you the most pleasure you have ever received. "You look very handsome, I love the suit" you smile and he does too, How could you still be nice to him, how could you still love him after what he did, how could you still be willing to be his princess when he didn't even deserve you the first time. One would think he was being naive but he knew that look, the look you gave him when you wanted to snuggle him and fill him with your love and the love you reserved for him when you wanted to ruin him with pleasure. "Y/n I " he speaks but gets cut off by thor "oh look who decided to show up at the party, my brother loki" thor interrupted, he was not being subtle at all. "Are you drunk already brother?" Loki asks him and he shrugged "these midgardian whiskeys and rums are not enough you know that" he laughs and look at me "oh look lady y/n is here, did you meet her?" He asks loki and loki looked at me as if apologising silently "yes we were in the middle of a conversation of sorts" he says softly and maybe you should stop staring at his lips and how kissable he looks "oh I love a good conversation" thor says smiling widely and loki gives him a glare.
What you both didn't know was, this was their plan, they wanted loki to stew a little, to crave, to realise what he lost and then hopefully he would come back to his senses, what they didn't know was he already did come back to his senses as soon as he looked at you. He wondered how he managed to do what he did, how did he manage to break his princess's heart "So lady y/n I heard you're staying the night here" thor said to you "umm who did you hear it from" you question and he just shakes his, caught like a deer in the headlight
"Yes" he freaked out.
"What ?" You question again
"Wanda ofcourse who else?" He laughs and you give him a smile. God of thunder you all.
"Yeah the venue is far from here and like 40 miles from my place so thought I'll stay here and go with her tomorrow" you look at him and then at loki. He was seeing you after so long, you could do the most random thing in the world and he would still look at you like you're a blessing from almighty himself. "Oh look the groom is here" thor chirped as Bruce walks in "congratulations to the both of you" you smile at him and he says thank you "you know I was going to send an invitation but Wanda said she would bring you as her plus 1 and so I..I just didn't do that" he says to you and you knew he was just being nice. "Thank you I'm grateful that you thought of me" you smile and reverts it
"So I was thinking since this is my last night as a bachelor, why don't we go and do something , just guys, no offense y/n" he says to thor and loki "none taken" you smile but loki didn't want to be anywhere where you won't be, he have suffered enough.
"Bruce we already had your pre wedding bachelor ceremony yesterday" loki replied instantly. Did he want to stay? Did he want to spend time with you? You couldn't help but wonder, in moments like this you wished you could read minds like wanda "yeah thanks loki, somehow I didn't remember that at all" Bruce said sarcastically "nice, very droll" loki rolls his eyes and it makes you chuckle , he smiles when he sees you "No you're correct, you should enjoy your last night as a free man, let's party midgardian style" why thor was so chirpy today? "I heard party and I'm in" you hear Tony's voice as he walks in and join the conversation, and he looks at you "you look hot y/n" he winks at you. Did Ironman just call you hot? If someone told you a year ago that someday you'll stand between mighty Avengers and have a conversation you would have laughed. You were just some random person who worked in a retail store. "Uhh wow you do too" you said quickly, you didn't actually think that he's hot or anything, you just said the first thing that came to your head.
Loki glares at Tony as he heard the term he used for his y/n, his princess. You're hot, very hot, you're the sexiest person he have ever known but you're his. So when he hears you calling Tony hot, he feels something he haven't before. He was extremely jealous. "Where is virginia? Stark" loki asks him and he said something about her being in an important meeting and that she'll be here tomorrow. When the guests started to leave, all of us sat down in the living room. You sat on the couch next to Steve and weirdly enough this is the first time you are meeting him. Then some other guy came and sat next to you, which you later found out was his best friend Bucky. What you didn't understand was why on earth everyone looked so aesthetically pleasing in this room, even Thor's girlfriend jane and her friend Darcy, looked like models. Is this the real life ,or is this just fantasy? Freddie knows. You watch Darcy go sit next to loki and she hugs him. She hugged him, she hugged your lo. You have never been jealous about loki before because he was completely, impossibly yours and you knew that, but he's a free man now and he can be snatched, who wouldn't want his light to shine up their lives. Your eyes meet his and then you look away, he wondered if you were jealous, Darcy was fun to be around but nothing was happening between them but you didn't know that.
Everyone was chit chatting and talking about random things and the inside jokes, and you were just there, feeling as awkward as it can get. Loki wanted to take you away, take you away far away the discomfort but he had no right to do so, not until you forgive him. Just because you're so nice to him, that doesn't mean he's forgiven for what he did or that he's yours. "So y/n tell us about the time you went to jail" Darcy asks you and loki glares at her. "What? All of us have been there at some point, chillax " she jokes and oddly enough that made you comfortable? "Wow she's so right" nat said as she took a sip of her drink thinking about her own time "It wasn't fun to be honest, I mean first of all it smelled weird" you chuckle "yeah that cell smell, I know what she means" Bucky says, you would think he was being quirky but he was very stoic and serious. "Well I don't know about that, I haven't stayed in a midgardian criminal holding cell ever, never even on Asgard , just to be clear" thor claims and everyone collectively groans.
When most of them are drunk, nat turns the music up and everyone started to dance, mostly girls did while guys just hung out together talking about guys stuff. Wanda dragged you to dance and so you did. You loved dancing, loki watched you as you moved, remembering the time you would just put the music on at your place and make him dance with you. He watches you with awe as you giggle and dance with Wanda. "Close your mouth loverboy" Darcy teases him and he shrugs. And then the song gimme more started to play, and nobody can stop you from doing stripper moves to that song, you were fairly drunk and this has been the most fun you have had since loki left. More because you know he's watching, you can feel his eyes on you and you wanted to show off a little. And he couldn't keep his eyes off you, his sexy princess, he wanted you, craved you and needed you but he can't have you for now.
After lots of dancing when everyone is tired, they decided to call it in, afterall there's a wedding tomorrow, you follow wanda as she's walking ahead of you with vision, but loki catches up with you, his room was on the same floor as both of them "you had fun today?" He asks you softly "I did" you giggle and he melts at how adorable you look "how's work" he asks you "still working at the book store?" How did he know about the book store ? Maybe Wanda told him "no I found another job, I am a prostitute now, pay is great" you joke but he's not laughing, he glares at you, he grabs you by the shoulder pulling you closer "what did you say?" His eyes tears up instantly at the revelation, how did he not know about this, last time he checked you were still working at the bookstore "lo, I was just joking, a joke, I'm sorry that was stupid" the look on his face, this is why you couldn't ever get over him, he was too soft, too kind, too cute. After assuring him you realised how close he was and how good he smelled. "Don't ever joke about matters like that okay? Can't imagine you having to do something like that ever..If you ever need something I'm here princess" he says to you and you nod, but you were not his princess anymore, he made that very clear that night. He loses his grip on you and steps back when he realises that he had no right to do this. Not yet anyways "Sorry about that" he apologized and you both start walking again "I actually got another job a week ago, at walmart, it's like a mile from my place, the manager is weird but really nice and he didn't care about the jail thing and the pay is way more then the bookstore, so I quit that one" you smile and loki reminiscences about the time he used to surprise you at work and pick you up everyday and how eager he used to be to see you at the end of your shift. He wanted to go back to those times, just you and him lost in each other with no care of the world.
So wanda ditched you and you had no idea where her room was, so loki took you there. You both stood outside as you waited for her. You could feel his eyes on you and all you wanted to do was turn to him, and kiss the living life out of him, but you can't, he's not yours to kiss, to love ,to fuck into oblivion whenever you want. Just the thought of doing him, making him sob with pleasures as he moans your name again and again makes you gush with need.
"Why are they not kissing?" Wanda asks Clint as they were spying on you two from distance "maybe we should give them some privacy? It's something you might not know about?" He asks her and she shakes her head "they don't know that we are watching so it's all cool..arggh maybe tomorrow, we still have a day" she grumbles and then walk towards you two while Clint flees to his room. "Hey girl I'm baaackk" you hear her and it snaps you out of your thoughts "Very well then, good night y/n, you sleep well, good night to you as well wanda" he wishes you two, so polite, so gorgeous "Goodnight lo" you wish him softly and he looks at you for few seconds before he turns to go to his room. "I see it, I see the appeal, the whole sweet cute guy vibe" wanda said to you as you both step in her room and you smile He is a sweet one, sweetest you have ever known. When you get inside, you take a shower because you needed one after being around him and not being able to touch him at all, you thought about everything you wanted to do to him, you wanted to see your soft subby loki moaning and writhing under you and it killed you that you couldn't have him instantly.
He wasn't any better, he thought about you all night, as he tossed and turned in his bed, you were so close, he could just go find you and make love to you right now and he knows you would let him, but he would never use you like that, he would never make you feel like he wants you just for sex and besides there are things that needed to be talked about, he needs to tell you the truth about Carla and about himself. If you knew the truth, maybe that day you wouldn't have punched Carla and maybe you would have just responded with a snarky remark, he loves the fact that his princess stood up for him when he couldn't, but he lost you because of that. He worried about revealing his truth though, Would you accept him the same once you find out the truth? Or you would be scared of his true nature, his animalistic side, his frost giant form. Would he still be your baby when he shows his true self to you? He thought about all that before he drifted to sleep.
Next morning when you got dressed up and put your make up on, you felt extremely gorgeous, the dress looked amazing on you, and showed all your curves perfectly, enough skin but not too much. After lo left, you needed an escape so you would workout whenever you could, you looked great , you felt great & you wanted to see his reaction. Wanda looked beautiful too, she was one of the bridesmaids and vision was going to lose his mind when he see her today. You both have to leave in half n hour and you wanted to check up on loki before you do, wondering how handsome he must be looking right so you went to his room.
Loki was struggling with his tie, even after he researched and found several million videos, he couldn't fix his tie properly, maybe if you were there you would help him. His mind drifted towards you and how gorgeous you must look. He was too close to pulling out his hair when he heard a knock on his door. When he opened the door, he wasn't expecting you and he definitely wasn't expecting you to look like that at all, the dress you wore drove him crazy. "Y/n, you're beautiful, I uhh mean you look very beautiful, please come in" or better let me cum in you, he thought..he stuttered as he invited you in. "Thanks lo, you look very pretty too" he was wearing a dark green suit and it contrasted perfectly with his pale skin, so handsome, so fuckable. Stop it y/n. You scolded yourself internally "are you ready? We are leaving in 20 minutes" you ask him and he scrunched his nose as he nodded in no, he needs to stop being so damn adorable. "For the love of Valhalla, I can not seem to fix this midgardian contraption no matter what I do" he groans and you chuckle as you look at his tie "let me help" you smile and sat on his dresser, you crossed your leg as you did, the slit of the dress made your legs look very tempting, You looked inviting, were you trying to seduce him? He didn't want to think like that but he couldn't help it. He walks towards you and hand the tie over to you "you need to get closer lo, I need your neck closer to me" you whisper as he was too far away from you. "Oh alright" he chuckles a little, the voice you used, he knows that voice, you used that voice on him whenever he would feel all submissive and you would drown him even further into his space, you loved pushing his buttons until he was a mess beneath you. You wrapped the tie around his neck, and lifted his collar up and started to work on it. But he was still very far and you had to stretch your hands. "I said closer lo" you straightened up your legs and pulled him in by his waist, locking your legs around him, so he was standing right between them.
Were you trying to kill him, was this how he would die? Was this your way of punishing him for what he did? He put his hands on the dresser, on either side of your hips, as you worked on his tie, he didn't want to touch, well he did want to but he couldn't, he would combust if he did, you knew how to tie a tie but you were taking your own sweet time, watching him squirm and fidget nervously as he looked everywhere but you. He knew he couldn't look at you, if he did he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing your plump lips but he felt your eyes on him, enjoying the current state he was in. "Are you almost done Y/n?" He asks softly and you pull on his tie bringing him closer if it was possible "patience lo, have patience" and he could have let you take him right there, he had been so patient these past few months and he wanted to fix everything before he have you like that but you are making it so difficult for him "I have missed you calling me that" he whispered and your eyes softened "lo?" You ask him and he nods, there's so much to talk about. Why did he leave you like that? Why would he break both of your hearts like that? You wanted to know everything, what happened in those 3 hours while you were locked up, your whole world turned upside down in those 3 hours, that morning you woke up with the love of your life and few hours later, he was just gone "All done" you tell him and he steps away, he walks towards the mirror to check, you did it perfectly "thank you sweet y/n, it looks perfect" he smiles and it made you so happy to see him smiling like that. You missed his adorable existence more than anything you have ever missed.
On the way to the venue, somehow wanda managed to get you and loki in the same car, you sat in the middle of him and wanda and she was taking alot of space, pressing you into him. Was she doing this on purpose? You couldn't help your wandering mind as it thought about everything you wanted to do to him, it's like he was an aphrodisiac himself, why did he have to smell so good all the time. How was that fair? His eyes kept drifting towards your legs, and previously when you wrapped your gorgeous legs around his waist, he got hard, so hard, he had to use magic to calm himself down. You were ruining him.
The wedding went well, and you got teary eyed when nat and Bruce took their vows, they have been through so much together, and they belonged together. There's a person for everyone and you liked to believe yours was loki.
At the wedding party, loki had his eyes on you only. He couldn't stop staring, looking, imagining. "You know you're making a mistake right?" Steve said to loki as he saw him lost in thoughts "what do you mean?" Loki asked him curiously "if she's the love of your life, don't let her slip. You'll never get over it no matter how much you try, whoever you date, However long it has been, she'll always be there in your head" loki looked at you one more time as heard steve, you were the love of his life, he never really had a doubt about that "Thank you Steve, I think I know what to do, I should have never let her go" he looks at you and smile "well good luck". Steve pats him on the back and they talked about the other stuff and Loki did catch you looking at him several times, you were not even being subtle about it. You were looking at him shamelessly, undressing him with your eyes, but you were also worried, none of you even mentioned the breakup, not even once. What was he thinking?
When you got back to the tower, you wanted to go back to your place and wanda couldn't let that happen, loki asked her to send you in his room. "All the cars are occupied y/n"
"All the cars are occupied? Like all of them? Are you telling me that there's not one vehicle left in the tower that's not occupied?" You ask suspiciously and she nods "I'll just call a cab I guess" you mumble and she sighs. "You should meet loki before you go" she says to you and you nod. You did want to see loki before you go, but what did you really expect from him? Well you were hoping he would say something or do something but he didn't, He left you for a reason that day and if he doesn't want to be with you anymore then you can't force him. Yesterday you were hopeful, you were hoping to get back together with him when you came but nothing happened, it felt like a heartbreak all over again, maybe you shouldn't have come, seeing him again only made things worse for you because earlier you atleast had hope that someday maybe things will work out between you two but now that hope was gone and it hurt. You still wanted to see him one more time so you knocked on his door to say goodbye but he didn't answer, so you open it and get inside, it was very dark inside "Lo?" He wasn't there, where was he?
"I'm here princess" you hear his voice and he was standing right next to his window but it was so dark you couldn't see him properly. He waved his hand and you see the lights turning on but not all of them, but light enough to see and you hear the door closing. And then you saw him finally, he didn't look like his usual self, he looked taller, atleast a foot taller and bigger and he was blue and he had so many ridges across his skin, his hair was gone and there were protrusions over his skull and you were confused, very confused.
He had tears in his eyes, he was waiting for you to run away, to reject him, to be scared of him. The thought killing him, his sweet princess being so scared of him because, this is his reality. You loved him in his human form, but you won't love him like this, would you? who would? What was he thinking? He was waiting for you to get angry that he hid this from you, that he was lying to you throughout your relationship. He was waiting for you to be disgusted that the man you made love to and received pleasure from looked like this in his natural form, that he would never be anything but a monster. And Maybe you'll finally realise that he's not worth all the love you had in your heart for him.
"What is the loki? Oh god what is this?" He heard Carla's voice shocked and taken aback. "It's me angel, please don't be scared" he looks at her, his eyes pleading her to not be scared of him. He wouldn't hurt her, why would he hurt her? He wasn't even going to tell her who he was, not just yet, he was looking at himself in the mirror when she walked in on him, she wasn't supposed to be there. He had finally started to accept that he was from jotunheim, that he was a frost giant and not an asgardian, that even though he wasn't from Asgard, he was still god of mischief and he was powerful and he was still worthy of love and acceptance "No no no that can't be , who are you, you can't be loki, you look like an ugly monster " Carla screamed, an ugly monster, is that what he looked like when he was ..him? "it's me I'm here, do you not recognise my voice ? angel, I won't hurt you I promise, just don't be scared please" he pleaded and took a step towards her but she ran out of his room. She ran. He didn't see her for 3 days, she wouldn't pick up his calls, wouldn't talk to him, she wouldn't let him in her house. And when she finally did, she stood so far apart from him, it killed him inside "I don't want to see you like that ever again you understand that? I had nightmares" she told him, her voice had that no nonsense tone she reserved for moments like these, when loki was being loki. He was hurt, so badly hurt. His angel never wanted to see who he truly was but she loved him right? So he would do whatever she needed, she was still willing to be his even after she saw the monster in him. "I won't I promise, I won't turn into a monster again, I promise" he cried and then he begged on his knees in front of her to forgive him for being a monster, he held onto her waist as he asked for forgiveness, so she can forgive him for being himself "Don't cry loki, you look pathetic like that, but I still love you okay so I forgive you, I love you so much, you can stay here but you're sleeping on the couch today okay sweetie? I'm still upset that you didn't tell me your reality before, you understand why I'm so upset right?" She wiped his tears and then he spent his night at the couch, hurting all night as she slept peacefully just few metres away.
As he snapped out of his thoughts he finally looked at your face, he couldn't read you, he didn't know what you were thinking and the silence was killing him. Then he saw you tearing up and he knew you were scared of him. He wanted to tell you that he still have the same soul, that he would never hurt his princess, no matter how he looked like from outside but he couldn't "It's okay princess, run away, run as far as you can from me, I won't hold it against you I promise" his voice absolutely broken, he turned around once he said that, he couldn't watch you leave.
And you did . You ran.