Lord Of The High Schoolers And A Fourth Wall Breaker
Lord Of The Flies is an old book that most school kids were forced to read at least once in their lives. Basically, what happens it that these school boys end up deserted on an island. The story ends with the boys all restoring to savagery, as boys usually do. This is a fine example of what happens when children are left unattended. This is what happened when the lunch monitor left the room for one moment to use the bathroom or read a romance novel.
At this particular school, the lunch monitor left at the same moment the two new students entered the cafeteria. These two new students also happened to be rather well known, seeing as they were related to superheroes. So, the moment Shuri and Loki stepped into the room, a swarm of teenagers began bombarding them with questions.
"Do you have your own Black Panther suit?"
"Can you turn into a big monster?"
"Are you really royalty?"
"Are you actually from space?"
It was extremely loud and the group was getting the majority of it. Shuri was taken aback while Peter and Loki both covered their ears because of their heightened senses.
"Back out!" MJ yelled, taking charge.
She grabbed the boys' arms while Ned pulled Shuri. They went out into the main field, where less students were, either playing during recess or eating on the grass and benches. They went over to the bleachers overlooking the football field and sat down.
"Wow, that was..." Shuri shook her head.
"Crazy. Annoying. Loud." Loki supplied.
"Let's eat before they get here," Peter said quickly, "You guys remember rule number three?"
Loki and Shuri nodded, speaking in unison, "Always bring lunch."
"Rule?" Ned blinked.
"High school rules," Peter said, "Five rules to survive high school." Then he recited.
"Rule number one. Never forget homework. One project lost might equal failing the entire grade.
Rule number two. Never miss a day or be late. You might miss something important.
Rule number three. Always bring lunch. You never know if someone will steal your lunch money.
Rule number four. Have friends. Nothing makes you look more like a loser then being alone.
Rule number five. Never let Mr. Stark take you to school."
"I have three notes," MJ raised a hand, "First, I think you're over exaggerating about the homework."
"I am not!"
"Fine. Secondly, I feel like the lunch money only applies to you losers."
"That's because everyone's too scared to steal yours," Ned muttered.
MJ rolled her eyes, "And, lastly, what the hell does rule number five mean?"
"If Mr. Stark drives me to school, I'll never live it down."
"Why?" Shuri asked.
"You don't get it!" Peter said, "If he drives us, he'll probably do something embarrassing, like blast music while screaming 'I love you!' at the top of his lungs."
Everyone stared at him for a second. Then Loki typed something onto his phone that Peter was sure would end up as a prank later.
"Anyway," Shuri said, "Can you quickly tell us who knows about your... secret project?"
Peter nodded, "Everyone in this group knows. I told all of you."
"He didn't tell me," MJ said, "I found out myself."
"Really? Me too." Loki said.
"I mean, isn't it obvious?"
"He doesn't even try to hide it!"
"Hey!" Peter snapped his fingers, "I'm right here!"
"No one cares, Penis Parker."
Peter froze in place, letting out a very inappropriate curse. Flash, who had appeared out of nowhere, gave a stupid smirk.
"You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait, your mom is dead."
Peter stood up, nails digging into his palms, "Now is not the time, Flash."
"Aww," the bully used a childish tone, "Did I hurt your feewings, baby? Are you sad that mommy's gone?"
Loki stood up abruptly, eyes flashing dangerously, "Is there something we can help you with?"
"Yeah," Flash said, not taking a hint. "Since you've just started here, I'd like to help you. People, especially cool ones like you, shouldn't hang around nerds like Penis Parker."
Shuri stood up and scoffed, "Like you'd know what's cool or not. You're just a bully."
"Well, why would you hang out with someone like him? Do you feel sorry for his orphaned ass--"
"Shut up!" Loki snapped, eyes literally glowing a fiery green, "Say one more word and I will tear you limb from limb and make sure your family doesn't have a body to bury."
Flash stumbled back, then darted away to join his goons, wherever they were. Everyone else stared at Loki who shrugged.
"Come on, what did you expect? Do you think I would just sit there and let you take it?"
"No..." Peter mumbled, "Maybe just don't threaten to dismember someone next time."
Loki shrugged again and Shuri cackled, "That was amazing! I need to develop a scare tactic like that."
"No, scare tactics are their things," Ned motioned towards MJ and Loki, "Peter and I are more pacifistic, Peter because he has morals and me because I'm just the guy in a chair. Your thing could be just flipping people off like a sassy queen."
Peter choked on his sandwich. Shuri grinned widely and was about to speak when they were interrupted by a sudden voice.
"Heyyyo, gang!" Someone sang behind them. They turned around to see one of the boys from class, Wade, standing there.
"Oh, hey Wade," Peter said, smiling. "Uh, Loki, Shuri, this is Wade Wilson."
"Hi."
"Greetings, earthling."
Everyone looked at Loki.
"What? I said I wasn't from Earth, so I'm taking advantage of it."
Wade laughed, "Nice. Anyway, wanna meet up later for our project?"
"What-- Oh, right." Peter nodded, "Definitely. After school, same place?"
"Yep!" Wade grinned, then looked towards you, "And hi, readers. I'm sure we've met before in some movie, show, or fanfiction. Nice to see you again or nice to meet you!"
Shut up, Wade. I'm trying to write here.
"Oh really, Author? Lemme guess, you haven't fully thought out the storyline for this book yet?"
Stop.
"You're only writing this to fulfill your dream of writing a Peter/Loki/Shuri gen z friendship."
Stop it.
"The entire plotline is based off five or six scenes you're planning on including here."
Get out.
"And you'll probably abandon this fanfiction like every other story you write."
Leave.
"By the way, what are you going by now? KD? Kira? Katya? Katie? Dude, just pick a name. And don't get me started on your username--"
SHUT UP AND GET OUT NOW BEFORE I ERASE YOUR PART OF THE STORY!!!
"Fine," Wade shrugged and turned back to the group. Everything moved back at a normal pace, like nothing had just happened, "Anyway, Peter, see ya later!"
He waved and sprinted away before I could use my magical author powers and decimate him with a stray lightning bolt. Shuri and Loki turned to Peter.
"I thought we were going on patrol after school," Shuri said, obviously asking about that and not the fact that Wade was talking to me and you guys.
"Oh, we are," Peter said with a slight smirk, "You'll understand later."
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Peter stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth while Shuri put her food in her bottomless purse and Loki's vanished. Ned gaped.
"So cool..."
And they went off to class, leaving me with a really short chapter and a massive headache.