Chapter 17
Natasha watches as Yelena leaves quickly. She just watched as her sister closed herself off, slammed a mask over her face, and left.
“You okay?” Maria asked quietly, scooting over on the bed to sit next to her.
“I didn’t mean to upset her…” Natasha said. “I’m sorry--”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Maria interrupts her. “I get it. I enjoyed kissing you, I wouldn’t mind doing it again, but I understand if you don’t want that.”
“I-- I do,” Natasha said quickly. “But Yelena…”
Natasha doesn’t know why Yelena was so upset. Something triggered and upset her and Natasha doesn’t know what it was.
“I get it,” Maria reached out and rested her hand onto Natasha’s. “She comes first.”
“I didn’t mean to upset her. I didn’t know she’d walk in,” Natasha had gotten used to leaving her door unlocked for whenever Yelena needed her. Most of Yelena’s things were in Natasha’s room anyway, the teenager practically moved in.
Natasha’s dresser was her and Yelena’s clothes mixed up.
“I wasn’t expecting her to walk in either,” Maria runs her thumb over Natasha’s knuckles. “She didn’t seem upset to me… but I don’t know her like you do.”
“She was upset,” Natasha knows it. Yelena hadn’t closed herself off like that in a while.
“She just seemed unsure to me. She knew you liked girls too, right?” Maria questioned with a small frown.
“Yeah. I told her I was bi. We had a whole conversation about sexualities and stuff,” Natasha said.
“Yet she didn’t know what a lesbian was?” Maria raised an eyebrow and Natasha sighs. “Hey, I’m only teasing.”
“I know…” Natasha looks down at the hand that Maria was holding. “Is this going too fast?”
“I don’t really think there is a right or wrong answer to that,” Maria tells her. “We’ve known each other for… six years now?”
Natasha slowly nods her head. “Okay… thank you. For everything.”
Maria smiles at her. “I should probably get going, I have work in the morning.” Maria wraps her arms around her and Natasha lets herself be surrounded by the scent that she uniquely associated with Maria.
She used to associate the scent with safety and trust. She trusted Maria to have her back and look after her when she was vulnerable. She used to sleep on the couch in Maria’s office that smelled like her.
Natasha kissed Maria’s cheek before they bid each other goodnight and Maria leaves.
Natasha notices immediately that Yelena was closing herself off. The only time she seemed to be open was around Tony and MJ.
Wanda even came to check in with Natasha. “Is Yelena okay?” She asked quietly.
“I… don’t know,” Natasha goes for honesty. “Is she acting weird with you?”
“Not really but her mind is loud. I usually don’t hear her but her thoughts are practically reaching out to me,” Wanda admits, fidgeting with the rings on her fingers. “It’s like she’s constantly overwhelmed. She immediately finds every exit and searches for potential weapons each time she enters a room…”
Natasha lets out a small sigh.
It gets to a point that Yelena shows up wearing the red vest that Tony made her and Natasha needs to put a stop to her behavior.
Natasha approached Yelena when MJ wasn’t at the tower. “Come here, we need to talk.”
Yelena barely glances at her. “I’m busy.” She said despite the fact she was clearly doing nothing at the moment.
Natasha raised an eyebrow as Yelena moves to push past her.
“Little one--” Natasha interrupts and moves in Yelena’s way.
“What?” Yelena barely glances up at Natasha, irritation on her face.
“You’re wearing your vest,” Natasha rests a hand onto the front of Yelena’s chest and Yelena looks down, surprise briefly flashing across her face as if she herself forgot she was wearing the vest.
“So? Can’t I wear it?” Yelena swats Natasha’s hand off.
Yelena never denied Natasha’s touch before.
“Of course you can. But whenever you wear your vest…” Natasha trails off. Yelena wore her vest when she didn’t feel safe. Whenever she needed the safety and security that her old vest had provided her.
“Maybe I just wanna wear my vest!” Yelena snaps at her. “Get off of my back!”
Natasha doesn’t know what’s wrong. She doesn’t know why Yelena is upset or angry and she can’t fathom why Yelena is pushing her away.
Natasha moves out of the way and Yelena pushed past her.
Natasha tries to do some research. She tries to ask the others subtly if Yelena told them anything.
It gets to the point that Natasha finally calls the only person she knew with kids.
Clint picks up the phone, assuming it’s an emergency. “What happened?”
“There’s no danger,” Natasha said, sitting on the edge of her bed. “And I’m still mad at you but you’re the only person I know with kids and I need advice.”
Clint listens as Natasha rambles on slightly about Yelena’s strange behavior.
“I want to support her and let her make her own choices but I’m worried about her regressing from any progress she’s made,” Natasha finally ends her rant. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
Clint was quiet for a few moments as he gathers his thoughts. “You tried speaking to her?”
“She brushed me off when I tried,” Natasha lets out a small sigh.
“Well… you and Maria had been a thing I’d seen and been waiting for. So congrats on that,” Clint starts. “But I think… and this is my opinion based on what I know of Yelena so I could be wrong, that Yelena is jealous.”
Natasha blinks in surprise. “Jealous?” She repeats. “Of what? My kiss with Maria? It was just one kiss, Clint.”
“So?” Clint replies. “I don’t know what her thoughts on romantic relationships were. Maybe she thinks Maria’s hurting you and is plotting her murder. Maybe she’s envious of Maria getting close to you. I’m not an expert.”
Natasha lets out a long sigh. “What would you do as a father if you were in my position?”
“I’d sit them down and talk things out. If she really has regressed in that much progress then I’d be worried about her mental state and if she keeps trying to run away from the conversation then maybe you need to push her,” Clint says. “But my kids aren’t traumatized child soldiers.”
Natasha does worry. She’s full of anxiety over why Yelena is pushing away and worried about her mental health. “What if I fuck things up?”
“Then I’d send Maria to talk to her,” Clint said. “Listen, I’ve got to go but I believe in you. You can do this, Nat.”
Natasha didn’t realize how much she missed Clint. “Thanks, Clint. I’ll call you later?”
“Looking forward to it,” Clint replies before hanging up.
Natasha tries to think of what to say to Yelena. She tries to think of how to make Yelena sit down and listen without triggering her.
Yelena got antsy when she felt cornered or caged.
Natasha decides to do it before Yelena went to bed when the teenager was tired. Natasha knocks on Yelena’s door before she enters and pauses.
She had assumed that MJ had been spending the nights over because Yelena didn’t come to sleep with her.
Yelena always needed someone to sleep with. She was a co-dependent sleeper.
But there are handcuffs attached to the headboard of the bed and Yelena turns to look at her, guilt and shame briefly flashing over her face before it’s replaced with irritation.
“I didn’t say you could come in,” Yelena snaps. “Go away.”
“No.” Natasha said and closed the door behind her. “Sit down. We need to talk.”
Surprise briefly flickered over Yelena’s face. “No. Get out. This is my room, not yours.”
“Sit down,” Natasha repeats firmly. “I want to talk.”
“Well, I don’t,” Yelena folds her arms. “Go away.”
“This isn’t an option. I’m tired of you pulling away from me,” Natasha points at the bed. “Sit. We’re going to talk.”
Yelena narrows her eyes at her. “Get out.” She said and approached Natasha, tilting her chin up to look at her.
Yelena never challenged her like this before and Natasha takes a moment to think of what to do. “We’re going to talk, Yelena. Take a seat.”
Yelena reaches out and shoves her harshly before Natasha realizes it. Natasha stumbles back against the door in surprise.
“Out!” Yelena stomps her foot. “This is my room! My place! I make the choices in here! Go away!”
Natasha doesn’t want to invade on what Yelena considers to be her safe place. But if Natasha backed down now then Yelena would bolt and hide and avoid her.
“Sit on the bed.” Natasha repeats and Yelena moves to shove at her again. Natasha anticipates it this time, grabbing her wrists to stop her.
Natasha doesn’t expect the yelp of pain that leaves Yelena’s mouth. Natasha pushes up the long sleeves of Yelena’s shirt to see the deep bruising around her wrists from the handcuffs. “What is this?”
She knows what it is but she needs to hear her sister say it.
Yelena refuses to look her in the eyes, finding a spot on the wall much more interesting.
“Yelena, what is this?” Natasha grips Yelena’s forearm, giving the hand a shake.
“Don’t be stupid,” Yelena hissed, jerking her arm to try and make Natasha release her wrist. Natasha tightens the grip slightly to stop her.
“Yelena, sweet girl, look at me,” Natasha keeps her tone soft and low as she reaches out her free hand to try and grasp the teenager’s chin. Yelena jerks her head away from her touch. “Little one , you need to talk to me. What’s going on?”
Yelena’s lower lip wobbles slightly as she takes a shaky breath in. Natasha gives her a few moments to gather her thoughts before asking again.
“My little one, I only want to help,” Natasha said gently. “I need you to use your words.”
Yelena pulls her lower lip between her teeth and bites down on it, drawing blood as she stifles the whine that threatened to escape.
“I love you,” Natasha murmurs softly. “Nothing you do or say will ever make me love you any less.”
Yelena’s resolve breaks as her face crumples and she lets out a sob. “Momma--”
Yelena resists again when Natasha tries to pull her close but Natasha persists and manages to pull Yelena against her. Yelena slumps against her as she cries. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry--”
“It’s okay, little one,” Natasha whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “We’ll figure this out. I’ve got you.”