names
Natasha supposed that Yelena had to form relationships with the people around her while she was gone. She just didn’t realize how close Yelena and Maria had gotten until she’s sitting on the couch right next to the Commander who seemed to know just how to soothe her baby sister.
Yelena had woken up in an absolute panic and the only words she could mutter out were Maria’s name. After attempting to soothe her without making any progress, Natasha promised they could go see Maria.
She didn’t want to bother the woman and hoped that she wouldn’t be upset with them. Yelena zones out as Natasha leads her down the nearly empty hallways and down to Maria’s office.
Natasha knocks on the door and to her immense relief, Maria is inside. Maria calls out for them to enter and Natasha does. Maria peers up at them, immediately setting down her pen when she sees Yelena. “What’s wrong?”
Natasha hesitates but Maria seems to realize what was wrong without any explanation. She steps forward right into Yelena’s eyesight and gently calls her name.
Yelena finally tilts her head up slightly, acknowledging Maria. She slowly reaches up and presses her hand against Maria’s chest. Maria lets Yelena do whatever she needs to do. When Yelena finally starts to cry, Maria cups the back of Yelena’s neck and draws her into her arms.
Maria is gentle and understanding, something that Natasha may have underestimated her for. Maria finally tells Natasha to sit on the couch and after a few moments, Natasha does. Maria sits Yelena down next to her, pushing her legs into her lap before sitting on the other side of Yelena and lets the teenager rest her head onto her chest again.
Maria is uncomfortably close, their arms pressed together. They’re close enough that Natasha can smell the minty aroma that she associated with the commander. Natasha would have pulled away at any other time but Yelena needs her more than Natasha needs to close herself off.
Yelena gets calmed down to the point where she just rests against Maria, quiet and content spread across the two of them. Natasha is unsure of exactly how long they stay there for. She knows that Maria has work to do, the woman told them herself. Yet, she stays here, reassuring and comforting Yelena.
Maria had been open and honest with Yelena, something that even Natasha struggled with at times. Maria had talked about her past and her triggers with the maintained grace that not even Natasha could muster.
There’s a bitter taste in her mouth that Maria could help her baby sister more than she could. Time and time again Natasha had told them that she could take care of Yelena on her own but over and over people like Bobbi and Clint had stepped in to help.
Natasha buries the ball of jealousy resting heavy in her chest. She was barely around for Yelena anymore, it was only a matter of time before Yelena found comfort elsewhere.
When Yelena ends up falling asleep on Maria, it proves just how much she trusted the woman. Widows didn’t sleep just anywhere and they only slept if they felt they would be able to stay safe.
Maria glances at her a few moments after Yelena drifts back off. “I need to get back to work. You’re welcome to stay here with her for the time being,” Maria slowly shifts Yelena off of her and Natasha reaches out to let Yelena lay against her instead. “How are you doing?”
Natasha eyes Maria for a moment before shrugging. “Fine.” She said, focusing on her sleeping sister. Maria peels away from them and Natasha’s arm feels cold where Maria had been pressed against her. “What about you?”
“Tired.” Maria said, her honesty taking Natasha back. “Phil is great but honestly, he has no idea what he’s doing when it comes to Skye. He lets her run all over the place, seeing no issue with her wild behavior because he’s convinced it’s good that she’s acting like a child.”
Maria’s ranting slightly and Natasha doesn’t know if she should feel sorry that Maria had nobody else she felt like she could rant to. “You think you could do a better job?”
Maria settles down in her chair again, picking up her pen. “I think Phil is scared to establish rules and boundaries when it comes to her. He doesn’t ask for help and I… ugh.” Maria pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead. “Who’s idea was it to let kids on board?”
“The Directors. But only after Clint brought us back,” Natasha replies, watching Maria. “And then you found out that Skye would only join SHIELD if she could stick with Yelena.” Natasha frowns. “You don’t have to do this all on your own.”
“SHIELD needs me,” Maria said, peering up at Natasha. “I can’t just take a break.”
“You did when you left with Yelena and Skye,” Natasha reminds her. “SHIELD didn’t crumble with you gone.”
“I still did work while I was gone,” Maria sighs, glancing down at the paperwork on her desk.
“You let us go to the Barton farm,” Natasha reminds Maria. “You said that agents needed breaks after missions to maintain a healthy mindset.” She paraphrases Maria’s words back at her. “Why don’t you get a break too?”
“I don’t go out onto the field,” Maria shakes her head, peering up at Natasha.
“You used Bobbi as an example a few moments ago,” Natasha tells Maria. “Why would you give Bobbi the kindness that you won’t give yourself. That’s what you said.”
“That’s different,” Maria raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her.
“How?” Natasha demands, keeping her tone low so she wouldn’t wake up Yelena. “You’re not invincible, Maria.”
Maria was quiet for a few moments and for a second, Natasha was worried that she had gone too far. Finally, Maria lets out a sigh.
“I know.” She said quietly. “But I have to try.”
“You’re no use if you’re burnt out,” Natasha knows that she’s giving advice she’d never follow herself. Widows weren’t allowed to rest even if when they were ready to collapse. Something made Maria the same way.
“I have too much to do,” Maria sighs, trying to focus back on the stacks of paperwork in front of her.
“You half parent Skye, why not give Coulson some of your paperwork in return?” It’s only half a joke, Natasha thinking it was a fair trade. Maria lets out a small huff of laughter, treading her fingers into her hair.
“Natalia, I need some quiet, please,” Maria said and Natasha doesn’t know why the statement hurts. It shouldn’t, Widows were made of marble, and if anyone else had said it the comment would have slid right off of her back.
Natasha doesn’t want their conversation to end so she blurts out the only thing she could think of to keep it going. “Natasha.”
Maria lifts her head back up to peer at Natasha in confusion. “What?”
“I want to be called Natasha,” She said, pulling Yelena just a little closer, feeling her sister’s head settle against her collar. “Natasha Romanoff.”
“Okay…” Maria glances at Yelena. “Does she want to change her name too?”
It’s the blase attitude that Maria uses for the situation, the same as Clint and Laura, that makes Natasha pause. “No.” She shakes her head before quickly adding on, insecurity creeping into her tone. “Is that okay? Clint said you could change it.”
“We do have policies about name changes,” Maria nods her head, pulling open a drawer on her desk and rifling through the files. “It’s usually for protection or gender changes, though.” She pulls out a piece of paper. “Can I ask why?”
Natasha’s immediate response is to redirect the question or change the subject entirely. But Maria had been so open with her so far and Yelena obviously trusted her. “I don’t want to be Natalia Romanov, The Black Widow who killed hundreds. I want a fresh start.”
“Natasha Romanoff,” Maria leans forward, propping her head up on her hand as she stares at Natasha. “I like it. It suits you.”
Natasha looks down at her sister, her face suddenly hot. “Is that something you can do?”
“Yeah. Shouldn’t be a problem. When you get the chance, I’ll just need your help filling out the form and then I’ll submit it,” Maria nods her head. “Natasha.”
Natasha likes the way her name sounds coming out of Maria’s mouth. “Thank you.”
Maria smiles at her. “Of course.” She said before turning her attention back to her paperwork. Natasha lets her work, content to keep glancing at the smile that lingered on Maria’s face.
Maria’s cute when she smiles.