farm
The farm reminds Yelena a lot of Ohio. Something about it just screams ‘homey’ in a way that not even Maria’s apartment did.
Home was a place like Ohio. Yelena had been taught that home was where you lived with people who loved you growing up. She had called Ohio home. She had called her not-mom and not-dad her family.
Then she had been betrayed. Her not-mom was shot and probably died while her not-dad sold them off to the Red Room like cattle.
And then Natalia left her too, even if she didn’t want to. Yelena had a bruise on her wrist for a week from where Natalia had grabbed her and tried not to let go as they were ripped apart.
Seeing Clint and Laura interact with their two children leaves some sort of aching longing inside of Yelena. She sees Clint scoop Cooper up and dangle him upside down to tickle his stomach and she is reminded of her not-dad doing that with her.
Natalia had been very quiet since they’ve arrived at the farm. Yelena knows that she’s still processing everything that went down in Budapest so she tries to comfort her. She sleeps closest to the door and she wraps around Natalia when they sleep instead of the other way.
The next morning, Clint knocks on their door and tells them that it’s time for breakfast. The sisters get up and drag themselves downstairs and take a seat.
There are fresh waffles, eggs, and bacon. The food in the canteen at the helicarrier was usually lukewarm by the time the sisters made their way down. Sometimes, if they couldn’t sleep, they would be first to show up and could get it hot off the stove.
Yelena eyes Cooper in his high chair, maple syrup coating his fingers and cheeks. Natalia takes a bite out of everything on the plate before switching plates with Yelena when Laura’s back was turned.
“Do you like the eggs?” Clint questioned, grabbing Cooper’s hand to stop him from smearing maple syrup in his hair. “They’re fresh from the chickens.”
“You have chickens?” Natalia raised an eyebrow. “I never took you for a chicken man, Clint.”
Clint chuckles. “Yup. You can see the coop outside. We have a cow too.”
Yelena doesn’t think she’s ever seen a chicken or a cow in real life. She vaguely remembers going to a petting zoo when she was very little and still in Ohio but they had things like goats and sheep.
Yelena eats a forkful of waffle. It’s warm and fluffy and really, really good.
Laura turns around to look at them and serve up the last stack of waffles. She’s wearing Lila in a sling around her chest, the baby nuzzled close against her fast asleep. If she had woken up and cried at all last night then Yelena didn’t hear her, unlike Cooper who was screaming so loud that both Yelena and Natalia had jerked awake in fear.
The talk with Clint last night helped reassure Yelena somewhat. Clint had told her that babies cry for no reason sometimes and that Cooper was probably just lonely. As soon as Clint had picked him up then the toddler had stopped wailing and immediately nuzzled into his father, soothed.
Cooper was bright and hyperactive as he stuffs mushed waffles into his mouth with his fist. Laura takes a seat at the table, reaching up to pat the bundle strapped to her chest as she serves herself a plate.
“Thank you,” Natalia spoke up, glancing at Laura and pointedly not looking at the infant nuzzled against her chest. “For the food.”
Laura gives them a warm smile. “I’m glad that you enjoy it. At least someone here has manners.” She glances as Clint as she says it, a teasing grin on her face.
“Thank you.” Yelena echoes a little more quietly and Laura’s attention is drawn back to her. Laura’s face softens some when she looks at Yelena.
“You are welcome,” Laura says and the room is quiet for a few moments other than Cooper’s happy humming as they eat.
Yelena keeps glancing at Natalia who glances at her and then steals glances at Clint. Clint has his focus mainly on Cooper to keep him from using maple syrup as a shampoo.
“So I was thinking that we could go out into the backyard after breakfast. I can show you the cow and we can pick some apples,” Clint suggests, glancing at the girls. “And I can show you the security system.” He tacks on.
Maybe it was his talk with Yelena about safety last night but Yelena appreciates knowing all the fine details anyway. She had managed to wheedle information about the security systems aboard the helicarrier from the scientists when she spoke with them.
When breakfast is finished, the sisters help carry the dishes over to the sink. Lila starts wailing and Yelena pressed against Natalia at the noise.
Laura apologizes and whisks Lila off to go and comfort her. Clint carries a sticky wiggling toddler over to the sink.
“Would one of you grab a dishrag?” Clint points at the stack of tea towels sitting off to the side. Natalia passes him on and Clint pulls Cooper’s stained shirt off.
Yelena can’t help but stare because there isn’t a single mark or scar on Cooper’s skin.
They all had scars. Her, Natalia, Clint, Maria, Bobbi, even Skye. Cooper’s skin is soft and unmarked.
She supposed that for a little while, she forgot that things like that existed. Unblemished skin.
“Hey,” Natalia whispers in Arabic to Yelena, bumping her with her hip. Yelena’s head snaps to peer up at Natalia. “You okay?”
“His skin doesn’t have any marks,” Yelena comments quietly. “Nobody’s hurt him.”
Natalia stares at her for a moment before cupping the back of Yelena’s head and pulling her forward to press a kiss to her forehead.
The unexpected gesture makes startles Yelena, not that she’s complaining. She can see the sudden affection startles Clint as well when his gaze slides of them in worry.
Natalia keeps Yelena pulled close, her lips just resting against Yelena’s head. Yelena doesn’t know if the comfort is for her or Natalia at this point but just stands there in Natalia’s arms.
“Right,” Clint pipes up. “Gonna go change this little guy into some fresh clothes. I’ll be right back…” He scoops the maple syrup-free toddler up and out of the room.
Yelena slowly wraps her arms around Natalia’s waist and leans into her. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry,” Natalia murmurs into her hair, one hand cupping the back of Yelena’s neck. “I’m so sorry.”
Yelena frowns, unsure of what she did or said to warrant an apology. “Why?”
“I should have fought harder,” Natalia whispers. “To keep us together. To stop them from taking you. You didn’t deserve to go there.”
Yelena pulls away slightly, something that Natalia tries to stop her from doing. Yelena peers up at her big sister. “You tried. It wasn’t your fault, you were eleven.” Yelena searches for the right words. “You didn’t deserve to go there either.”
“I have failed at being your big sister,” Natalia leans her head forward to press their foreheads together. “I told you to trust me when Clint offered me his hand instead of a bullet to the head. I took you to SHIELD and they have hurt you. They have separated us more than I think either of us have realized.”
Yelena shakes her head immediately. “You didn’t fail.” She insists sharply. “Don’t say that.”
“I just want you to be safe and happy,” Natalia says softly, nuzzling her nose against Yelena’s cheek and inhaling deeply. “I just want that for you.”
Natalia was getting upset quickly so Yelena tries to defuse the situation. She lets out a soft whistle.
Two notes. Find me.
Natalia doesn’t hesitate to reply back. I’m here.
Yelena then wraps her arms around Natalia and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I love you.”
“I adore you, Yelena,” Natalia hadn’t been able to say it again after she said it the first time. Yelena didn’t mind because Natalia doesn’t have to say it for Yelena to know how much she is loved.
Clint clears his throat, holding a squirming toddler that was now dressed in a pair of overalls and a shirt. “Y’all ready to head outside?”
The sisters break apart and nod, slipping out of the room to grab their shoes.
The backyard is big and there’s a large chicken coop that Yelena must have missed the previous night. Clint shows them that and the barn where the cow was kept. The other half of the unused barn was made into a shooting range with bows and arrows lining the wall and targets neatly pinned up.
Clint carries Cooper with him. When they come across the cow, Cooper glances at the pair of sisters. “That’s Eh-we.” He tells them proudly.
“Ellie the cow,” Clint clarifies, holding his son up to the pen so that the boy can peer in and wave at the cow.
Yelena stares at the cow. She didn’t expect it to be so big.
Clint then shows them the security system. It was quite advanced and Yelena did admit that she felt safer upon seeing it.
Clint then leads them toward the trees in the back. “These are our apple trees. We’ve got granny smiths and honeycrisps.” Clint sets Cooper down onto his feet so he can pick up a basket nearby. “You girls ever picked apples?”
Natalia arched an eyebrow as if to ask him when they would have ever had the opportunity to do it. Yelena simply shakes her head.
Clint shows them how to pick the apples and asks them to help him fill the basket.
It’s quiet for a little while. Yelena keeps an eye on Cooper who was daring around the trees on unsteady legs as Clint picked apples with them. The boy shrieks with joy, chucking around dirt and mulch.
Yelena knew that babies weren’t that steady on their feet yet, that was why training to be a Widow started at age six rather than younger.
Cooper then turns a corner hard and stumbles. Yelena jerks forward, grabbing the strap of his overalls to keep him from hitting his head on the tree. Cooper lets out a wail and Yelena immediately let go of him causing him to fall onto his bottom.
“I didn’t hurt him!” She immediately blurts out as Clint sets the basket of apples down to scoop Cooper up. She didn’t mean to make him cry.
“I know,” Clint said calmly. “I think he just got startled.” He bounced Cooper in his arms, patting his back. “Isn’t that right, little man?” He asked Cooper.
Yelena retreats away from them toward where Natalia was still picking apples. Natalia doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her when she nears, the contact reassuring.
Cooper is just fine within a matter of moments, gnawing on an apple that Clint had given him. He doesn’t manage to bite any chunks off, merely breaking the skin and sucking on the juices.
“Thank you for keeping him from getting hurt,” Clint tells Yelena as he sets Cooper back down to continue to pick apples.
Yelena simply nods, turning her attention back to filling the basket. When the baskets are full, Clint grins at them.
“Whew! Thank you,” He wipes his brow with his arm. “What do you say to going in and watching a movie?”
The television in the living room was much bigger than one Yelena ever had the privilege of watching. There were rows of DVDs displayed in the cabinet the television stood on and Clint eagerly shuffles through them to pick something out.
Yelena settles down next to Natalia for the movie. It’s another animated movie that she doesn’t recognize but Cooper does, letting out an elated squeal.
Laura joins them about ten minutes into the movie, passing the infant in her arms to Clint.
Yelena curls up into Natalia’s side, only half focused on the movie. She wants to ask Natalia if she can move into her lap like on the helicarrier but she also knows that Natalia doesn’t like showing affection in front of people that she doesn’t know.
Natalia, of course, knows Yelena better than Yelena gives her credit for. When the movie reaches its crescendo, Natalia grabs the back of Yelena’s shirt and waistband of her jeans and hoists her up into her lap swiftly. Yelena manages not to let anything more than a squeak escape her at the sudden movement.
Natalia doesn’t say anything, simply pulling Yelena close and focusing back on the movie. Yelena settles down against her sister with a small sigh of content.
She missed being able to do this.