exhausted
Yelena doesn’t get a wink of sleep that night, shuffling into the kitchen at what she thinks is an appropriate time. Maria’s already up and on her computer, glancing up at her when she enters the kitchen.
“How’d you sleep?” Maria questions almost like she knows Yelena didn’t even bother to try.
“Fine.” Yelena replies, daring Maria to argue with her about it. Maria nods her head, the subject dropping and Yelena supposed maybe Maria didn’t know everything.
Yelena was trained in the Red Room and could stay up for days on end. She did it during Natalia’s deprogramming and she could do it again. Except this time she was already exhausted, having not slept well with the whole situation with the Widow from the Red Room.
“Do you think I could call Bobbi today?” Yelena doesn’t know if she’s allowed electronics. SHIELD didn’t have a television she could watch unless she was with Hunter playing games, in Clint’s bunk, or on Bobbi’s phone to watch dog videos.
Maria glances at her before nodding. “I suppose. She’s probably still asleep at this time. Is it an emergency?”
“No. I can wait.” She can. She won’t wake Bobbi up over something as silly as not being able to sleep.
When Skye finally gets up, they eat Pop-tarts for breakfast. They open one pack of s’mores and one pack of brown cinnamon sugar and split it between them so they each have one of each flavor.
Around seven in the morning, Maria tells them to change into something they can move around in and that they’re going for a run.
Skye lets out a groan. “Really?”
“Really. You’re living with an intelligence agency and that makes you a target. If you can’t run then you’ll be in trouble,” Maria raised an eyebrow. “Go change.”
Skye lets out a groan the entire time she walks to the bedroom.
Yelena changes and is ready to go before Skye. Maria’s changed and ready, waiting on the two of them.
Skye shows up a few minutes later, standing next to Yelena.
“Because Skye’s not used to running, we’ll go at a slow and steady pace,” Maria informs Yelena before reaching out to grip the girls left wrists. “You have your trackers on you. Should, for some reason, we get split up then stay put and I will find you. If you need a break then you can ask for one.” Maria lets their wrists go. “Stay in my sights. Do not stray behind or go on ahead where I cannot see you. Any questions?”
Yelena shakes her head. Skye grumbles to her the whole trip down to the lobby of the apartment complex. Maria makes them stretch it out before the start and then stops them once again before they start to give them a brief overview of the route they were taking before she takes off. Yelena follows after and Skye reluctantly tags along a few moments later.
Yelena’s barely worked up a sweat when Skye calls out for a break, panting for air. Maria stops and Skye hunches in on herself, bending over to try and get air into her lungs.
“Sit up,” Maria takes Skye’s wrists, ignoring the small flinch the girl gave and pulling her arms up. “Arms above your head, it’ll allow you to get more air.”
Yelena hadn’t known that. She used to hunch in on herself like Skye did before she learned to now show just how tired or out of breath she was.
Skye stands with her arms raised above her head, trying to catch her breath. “How far… are we?” She huffs out.
“About halfway there,” Maria replies, barely having broken a sweat. “You’re doing good.”
Yelena waits and observes their surroundings for cameras and dangers as Maria coaxes Skye through some breathing exercises.
The whole run takes nearly half an hour and Skye dramatically flops onto the couch when they enter the apartment again. “If you make do any more exercise then I’m gonna puke!” She announced. Maria lets out a huff of amusement.
“Proud of you two,” Maria comments, kicking her sneakers off at the door. “Good job.”
Yelena froze. Maria had been giving out a lot of praise for stupid things lately. Yelena didn’t understand why. It was like Maria shifted to a new person when she wasn’t ‘Hardass Hill’ or the Commander. It made her uneasy because she could anticipate the way her mind worked and how she thought when she was the Deputy Director. This Maria was different and Yelena wasn’t sure if she liked it yet.
When Maria does let Yelena call Bobbi, Yelena ducks into the bathroom with the phone, locking the door and crossing the room to sit in the tub for the most privacy she could get.
“Hey kiddo,” Bobbi greets her cheerfully. “How are you like it with Maria? She bore you to death yet?”
“It’s fine…” Yelena replies slowly. “I need to talk to you.”
“Yeah,” Bobbi’s tone shifts to akin to worry. “Maria mentioned that. Everything okay?”
Yelena takes a few moments to think about how she wanted to phrase her worries. “I can’t sleep.” She finally settles on. “I forgot my handcuffs.”
It was quiet for a few seconds before Bobbi replies. “Ah.” She lets out a hum. “That’s a problem, ain’t it.” She said it as a statement.
“I don’t know what to do,” Yelena confessed. She doesn’t know why she’s telling Bobbi and not Natalia. She doesn’t know why she felt she could tell her in the first place. This was her own issue.
“I appreciate that you came to me when you needed help,” Bobbi starts slowly and Yelena’s heart drops. “What is your sleeping situation looking like?”
“I’m sharing Maria’s bed with Skye while Maria sleeps on the couch,” Yelena answered quietly.
“You’re sharing a bed with someone not your sister?” Bobbi questioned and Yelena lets out a hum of acknowledgment. “How do you feel about that?”
Yelena takes a moment to think about it. “It’s not safe.” She finally settles on saying. “I can’t sleep and I don’t know what to do… I’m tired, Bobbi.”
“I know, kiddo,” Bobbi said softly. “And I wish I was there to help you but I’m not. Listen to me and what I have to say before interrupting me, okay?”
Yelena didn’t like the turn in this conversation. “Okay…”
“I think you should tell Maria about the handcuffs,” Bobbi starts and Yelena immediately opened her mouth to protest before realizing Bobbi didn’t want to be interrupted and clenches her jaw. “If not about the handcuffs then about your difficulty sleeping. She just wants to help you.”
“I don’t want her help.” Yelena wanted Bobbi, not Maria. Maria was too close to Fury for Yelena to admit her weaknesses to. Bobbi was safe and Yelena trusted her. “I want you.”
Yelena really wanted her big sister but that clearly couldn’t happen.
Bobbi lets out a small sigh. “I know, kiddo. I wish I could be there but I have a lot on my plate at the moment and I can’t make the trip. I’m not going to tell Maria for you, that’s your choice. But you should at least think about it, can you promise me that?” It wasn’t asking a lot. Bobbi simply wanted Yelena to think about the choices she had.
“I can do that.” Yelena reluctantly agrees.
“Good. Why don’t you catch me up on your trip?” Bobbi questioned and Yelena starts to talk Bobbi through her day. It’s not until Bobbi is is interrupted by Hunter that Yelena realizes they’d been talking on the phone for a while.
“Is that Yelena?” Hunter’s voice sounded out. “Hey tiny!”
“Hey yourself,” Yelena replies and Hunter lets out a low chuckle. “Does Bobbi have to go?”
“Yeah kid. Sorry,” Hunter did sound apologetic. “Give the Commander a few grey hairs for me.”
“What he means to say is to behave yourself,” Bobbi retorts and Hunter lets out a yelp as Bobbi presumably hit him. “Remember what you promised.”
Right. Yelena promised to think about telling Maria. “Okay.” She agrees. “Bye Bobbi. Bye Hunter.”
“Bye kiddo.” They chorus before the call ends. Yelena spends a few more minutes sitting in the tub, clutching the phone tightly in her hand.
She thinks about telling Maria about the handcuffs. She quickly dismisses the idea. If Maria knew that she slept with handcuffs then she might be reminded that Fury ordered Yelena into therapy three times a week and make Yelena go back to the Helicarrier to see Damian.
Yelena hated Damian and if they made Skye go to therapy too then she’d make sure Skye saw whoever Natalia did.
If Maria doesn’t know she’s struggling then she can’t send Yelena away to ‘get help’. Yelena’s good at pretending. She’s worn so many masks that sometimes she forgets which are masks and which are her real face. She can keep on the mask of being perfectly fine for a little longer.
Natalia will be back soon. Everything will be okay.
Yelena rubs the exhaustion from her face and steels herself before stepping out of the bathroom to give Maria her phone back.
She’s fine...