chokeholds
Clint at least had the decency to wait until Natalia was starting up her next session of deprogramming before he pulls Yelena aside and left Maria with Natalia.
“Get in the vents,” Clint points a finger at the vents. “Go to the nest. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Yelena doesn’t dare disobey, scrambling up the wall to climb into the vent and crawls until she reaches the nest.
She knows exactly what he’s going to say and she scrambles to come up with any excuse she can.
When Clint finally arrives, Yelena blurts out “Bobbi knows.”
Because if she could pin the whole thing on Bobbi, she would. Nothing personal but Clint pestering Bobbi about it would give Yelena time to get closer to the room where Natalia was and maybe even watch through the vents.
Clint raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Bobbi knows you handcuff yourself to your bed?”
“Yes.” Maybe not in so many words but Yelena had confessed that she had made the marks on her wrist herself.
“What is she doing about it?” Clint leans back against the opposite wall, his feet brushing against Yelena’s in the cramped space.
Yelena doesn’t reply to that because Bobbi didn’t push her for more of an answer.
At her non-answer, Clint pinched the bridge of his nose. “Bobbi knows you’ve been handcuffing yourself to the bed and has done nothing?”
Yelena shrugs before nodding her head. “Basically.” She murmurs.
“Why would you handcuff yourself to the bed?” Clint asked her in confusion and Yelena sighs because she thought the whole ‘Bobbi knows’ thing would have gotten her out of the conversation for the moment.
It becomes quite clear that Clint is not going to drop the subject. The two stare at each other as Clint waits for Yelena to answer.
“It’s safe.” Yelena finally huffs, folding her arms and glancing away.
“Safe?” Clint prompts, urging for an explanation but Yelena shrugs. “Yelena, what I saw you doing to yourself disturbed me.”
“I didn’t ask for you to come into my room uninvited!” Yelena snaps at him. “You came in without my permission!”
“Yelena, it’s not normal to cuff yourself to the bed. Does Nat know you do this?” Clint asked and Yelena takes a moment to think about her answer.
“Yes.” They slept in the same bed, it would be pretty hard for Yelena to hide it. She doesn’t mention that Natalia does it too.
Clint sighs. “You can’t keep doing that.”
“Yes, I can.” Yelena immediately replies.
Clint tiredly rubs his face, letting out a slight groan. “I have to tell Maria.”
Yelena’s head jerks to stare at him. “No.” She whispers as she glares at him. “You wouldn’t.”
“I have to,” Clint said helplessly. “I don’t know how to help you.”
“Shut up!” Yelena lunges at him and Clint lets out a grunt when she collides with him.
“Yelena, stop!” Clint grunts as they squirm around the small space. Yelena wraps her legs around his neck until she was in a place where she could easily snap his neck.
She doesn’t want to hurt him.
“Beanie baby, it’s okay,” Clint’s hands grip Yelena’s calves to try and loosen the grip. “You’re not in trouble.”
“If you tell then I will put dirt and worms in all of your food,” Yelena hisses at him. It’s a pathetic threat but Clint had specifically confided in her about how much he hated it. She doesn’t have much to threaten him with.
“Yelena…” Clint sounds saddened and Yelena clenches her jaw, trying to separate herself from the teenager that was Clint’s friend.
“I will find your brother and I will hurt him,” Yelena continues, her heart hammering away in her chest. “If he is dead then I will destroy his grave. I will live to make your life hell.”
Clint stops his struggling from his position, peering up at Yelena. “Why are you so scared about Maria knowing?”
Yelena tries to keep her breathing under control. “I’m a Widow. I don’t feel fear.”
“Yelena, you are threatening to use my past against me. That’s not who you are. You would only resort to such threats if you’re scared,” Clint lets out a small gasp when Yelena tightens the grip around his neck. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”
Yelena is scared. She hates that he can read her so well. If Maria knew then she’d make them stop and Yelena needed her cuffs to feel safe. She needed them to sleep.
Maria would take it away.
“I’m not threatening you with Maria,” Clint chokes out, his face turning red. “You don’t need to threaten me.”
“Swear you won’t tell anyone!” Yelena hissed out at him, squeezing slightly as a warning.
“Okay. Okay, I won’t tell,” Clint swore, gasping for air when Yelena lets him go. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
Yelena then realizes what she had done to Clint and frantically scoots away, Clint grabbing her ankle before she can escape. “Lemme go!”
“Yelena, stop, it’s okay,” Clint tells her.
He can say it’s okay all he wants but that doesn’t make it okay.
“Stop it! Lemme go!” Yelena doesn’t want to hurt him. She cannot handle the touch at the moment. “Don’t touch me! Stop!”
Clint pulls her back into the vent before she can escape, blocking the exit before he lets her go. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
Yelena feels like she can’t breathe. That the oxygen in the vent is thinning.
She needs Natalia but Natalia isn’t available.
“Oh fuck. Please don’t cry,” Clint murmurs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I completely messed this up.”
Yelena pulls her knees to her chest. “I want Bobbi.”
Clint sighs. “Yeah. Gimme a sec.” He pulls a phone from his belt and sends a message. “If Bobbi already knows then we come up with a solution with her?”
“No!” Yelena snaps at him. “I don’t want to talk about this. Pretend you never saw anything or I’ll tell Maria you came into my room when I was changing and saw me without a shirt!”
Clint pales slightly. “That’s not fair. Maria doesn’t like to be used as a threat.”
“Then forget it ever happened!” Yelena raised her voice before falling silent when a shuffling nears them.
“This better be good Barton, I’m not a rookie to shuffle around in the vents--” Bobbi’s head appears and she pauses when her eyes fall on Yelena. “What did you do?”
“I pushed too hard,” Clint admits, scooting out of the way for Bobbi to enter the nest.
Bobbi shoves past Clint to approach Yelena. Yelena shifts away from them, curling up into a tight ball.
“What happened, kiddo? Is Nat’s deprogramming hard on you?” Bobbi sits next to Yelena, reaching out to rest a hand onto Yelena’s knee.
“Yelena says you knew about her sleeping with handcuffs,” Clint spoke before Yelena could stop him.
Bobbi blinks at him before looking down at Yelena. “Is that what those marks are?” She reaches for Yelena’s wrist but Yelena jerks her hands away and shoves her face into her knees, tucking her hands under her armpits. “Oh kiddo. What happened?”
Yelena lets out a muffled sob. Clint cornering her and then revealing one of her biggest secrets to Bobbi hurt. “I asked you not to tell.” Yelena was too close to Clint to be able to follow through on the threats she made. She’s not going to put worms in his food or track down his brother. She hates the fact that she even hurt him in the first place.
Bobbi sets a hand onto Yelena’s back. “It’ll be alright, kiddo. Let it out if you need to.”
“Pressure,” Yelena whimpers out and it only takes a few moments before Bobbi understands what Yelena is asking for and slides her hand up to gently cup the back of her neck before squeezing it gently.
Yelena slumps against Bobbi’s side, feeling Bobbi’s other hand pet her hair. “I’ve got you, kiddo.” Bobbi murmurs. “You’re safe.”
“Don’t tell Maria.” Yelena resorts to pleading.
“Tell Maria what?” Bobbi twists to glance at Clint.
Yelena focuses on Bobbi’s scent and warmth, completely forcing herself to ignore the conversation that Bobbi and Clint share.
She only zones back in when Bobbi’s hand leaves her neck and she pulls away slightly. “Yelena, look at me.”
Yelena pulls her head up to look at Bobbi’s forehead.
“Can I see your wrists please?” Bobbi asked softly, her hands reaching for the sleeves of Yelena’s sweatshirt but not grabbing or pushing her sleeves up.
“I need them.” Yelena murmurs, glancing away as she hesitantly offers her wrists out to Bobbi.
Bobbi pushes the sleeves of her sweatshirt up to peer as her wrists, her thumb running along the faint scarring and marks left behind. “Why do you need them?”
“They’re safe,” Yelena said, jerking slightly when Bobbi gently cups Yelena’s hands between hers.
“Safe for who? You or us?” Bobbi questioned and Yelena stays quiet. “Nobody needs to know about this Yelena.”
“Bobbi--” Clint starts but Bobbi turns to glare at him and he quiets down.
“Not even Maria?” Yelena checks quietly.
“Not even the commander. This is not my secret to tell. But you’re hurting yourself, Yelena. Look,” Bobbi runs her thumb over one of the scars on her wrist.
Yelena peers down at her wrists, watching Bobbi’s thumbs gently run over the faint scarring.
“You cannot keep hurting yourself, Yelena,” Bobbi tells her seriously. “That is not an option. So you, me, and Clint are gonna come up with some solutions.”
“I’m sorry.” Yelena said quietly because she can’t get a good tell on Bobbi but she thinks the woman is disappointed.
The thought of having disappointed her mentor and handler shames Yelena.
“I’m not angry. Look at me, Yelena. You do not need to apologize,” Bobbi lets go of Yelena’s face to pull her to stare into her eyes.
Yelena glances at Bobbi before letting out a murmur in Russian. “My sister uses them too.” She confessed quietly.
Because they’d find that out if they tried to help. Yelena didn’t want them to think she was lying to them.
“I thought so,” Bobbi gives her a sad smile. “We’ll figure this out, I promise.”
“I’m sorry for scaring you,” Clint finally spoke up, drawing their attention to him. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was threatening you with the commander. I just… I don’t know how to help. But you cannot keep sleeping with handcuffs.”
“I need them.” Yelena murmurs quietly, shifting to rest her head onto Bobbi’s shoulder.
Clint lets out a sigh. “I see that now.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, beanie baby. Do you think you can forgive me?”
Yelena nods her head but she wouldn’t be coming back to the nest anytime soon. Not without Natalia.
Because Natalia would have never let Clint grab her ankle or block the exit. Yelena felt trapped and she doesn’t think Clint realized just how unsettled she was.
“Nat’s probably needing you by now,” Clint spoke up a little awkwardly.
“Don’t tell her you know,” Yelena demands, surprised when Clint agrees easily. Yelena slowly moves out of the corner and toward the exit of the nest.
Bobbi follows right behind her and Yelena slips out of the vents.
Natalia is suprisingly calm when they enter. Then again, Maria was bent over in front of her, their faces inches apart as she whispers quietly to Natalia.
Yelena can feel Maria’s stare on her as she slides up to her usual space to wait. She knows that Maria is wondering what took her and Clint so long to speak about.
Clint takes up his post by the door and true to his word doesn’t say a thing to Maria.
Bobbi hasn’t joined them during Natalia’s deprogramming but she takes up post next to Yelena, their shoulders brushing together as Yelena takes comfort in Bobbi’s presence.
Bobbi’s safe.