part one
'Natty?' You asked hesitantly, looking at the ground.
'What's up dorogoy?' Natasha came and sat next to you lifting your head up to look at her. She placed a soft kiss on your lips.
'Do you have any plans for when you're no longer an avenger?' This question had been on your mind for weeks. The other avengers had been talking about the future and what they wanted from life in retirement. It made you think what Natasha would want.
'Hmm,' Natasha pondered the thought, 'I don't think I could imagine a life where I'm not an avenger,'
'Come on Natty. You haven't thought about life after all of this?' You huffed starting to get insecure that Natasha didn't imagine a future with you.
'I guess hypothetically, maybe I'd like to try tiny home living. Somewhere off the grid away from the rush of a big city. Trying my hand at gardening would be fun I guess. Norway seems nice,' You didn't expect this to come from Natasha, you always thought she'd want to stay close to the compound and the other avengers, 'But it's all just a hypothetical, I don't think I'd ever retire but I'll always want you,'
Natasha's last comment didn't make you happy but you didn't have the time to react before she had left you alone in your shared room. Natasha confirmed your fear though, you were both on separate pages when it came to the future.
-
Seven years had come and gone and you never approached that topic with Natasha again. You learned to live in the moment when it came to Natasha, though at the back of your mind you were scared to lose her to her job.
You were all so happy, you managed to bring back the half of the world that had been blipped 5 years prior. You were happy in the moment. You caught Natasha as she threw herself in your arms.
'Thank you for helping me do this detka,' You shared a deep passionate kiss.
Days after bringing the world back, talks of retirement ran through the compound. You tried to not think about it, afraid of Natasha's answer. Seven years ago this seemed so far away but now it was here you were dreading what the future had in store. More importantly you were scared of whether you still had a future with Natasha.
'What are you thinking about detka?' Natasha had noticed how quiet you had been lately. She was worried about you.
'What are your plans-,'
'Not this again,' Natasha tensed beside you and paused the movie you were watching.
'What do you mean 'not this again'. We haven't talked about it for seven years Natasha,' You shook your head, 'Isn't this something we should talk about?'
'What's there to talk about,' Natasha was growing impatient at the conversation, 'There isn't a world where I'll retire. I'd rather die on a mission then sit back and watch the world crumble,'
'We're partners Natasha. It used to be us against the world. When was it you decided you were going to let it all go, let me go, and become this?' You gestured towards Natasha. You never thought Natasha would let you go, but you should have realised she wouldn't let her job go either.
'I guess when you decided that the world didn't need saving. You know how the world is, they need me,' Natasha would risk losing you if it meant she didn't have to let her job go. That was the reality you were facing but didn't want to accept. You came second to Natasha's career.
'Well let me ask you this Natasha,' You stood back putting space between you two, 'When did you decide that everyone else gets a happy ending, but you don't deserve one?' Tears from the anger rising inside were threatening to fall. You had hoped for this to go a different way, but you weren't surprised at the way it had gone.
'Maybe this is my happy ending,' Natasha sighed out. She had accepted the end of your relationship throughout this conversation. The guilt at the thought of not being around to help save the world outweighed the ache in her chest at the thought of not having you anymore.
'Well this isn't mine,' You got up and grabbed your keys. You just wanted to get away. The pain from your heart breaking was becoming too much to stay around Natasha, 'I've always needed you, Natasha, but I guess you don't need me. I always thought you were my happy ending,'