Depression
The So Slay Squad of Harbingers
Balladeer: look ik we all expected it but married dottore and pantalone is a pain in the ass
Childe: YES
The Fair Lady: this tho
The Fair Lady: they keep walking around kissing and shit like keep that to yourself
The Fair Lady: honestly i wouldnt be surprised if they were fucking everyday or smth
The Fair Lady: because the only time i see them is when they are like kissing and stumbling into an empty room
Balladeer: this sucks because even though we all have our own personal floors i am still disgusted
The Fair Lady: fr like i can hear pantalone moaning tf ☠️☠️
The Fair Lady: its even worse knowing that im on the 5th floor on the exact other side of the harbingers headquarters
Childe: FEEL BAD FOR ME. IM ON THE 2ND FLOOR 😭😭😭😭
Ballladeer: 💀💀
Balladeer: pierro is mad lucky. he’s on the 12th floor man
Balladeer: wait nvm he isnt
Balladeer: im betting that they fuck on dottore’s floor ☠️☠️
Childe: does anyone else hear that music
The Doctor: HELP IS THAT DRAKE 💀💀💀
The Doctor: ITS COMING FROM PIERRO’S FLOOR HEEELLPP LMFAAO
Childe: i thought you and pantalone were fucking..
Regrator: we are lmfao
Childe: Oh
The Fair Lady: stage 4 depression
Balladeer: HELP
Balladeer: i can hear him singing along to lucid dreams 💀💀
Childe: is that.. falling in reverse 😨
The Doctor: Actually pierro is kinda fire
The Doctor: i think hes relating ☠️☠️
The Fair Lady: kinda off topic but ngl he cannot sing for shit 💀💀 he doesnt even know the lyrics
The Doctor: aint no way he’s singing genesis
Balladeer: i cant stop thinking about that one time when That ugly ass whore astrology loving bitch told childe to like do that thing where u kiss ur ring and like tap her crystal ball or wtv and it would show ur soulmates initial ☠️
The Fair Lady: omfg i remember that 💀 he got R and was like “😧.. Rex Lapis..”
The Doctor: HELP ☠️☠️☠️
Childe: HE IS MY SOULMATE THO
Balladeer: isnt rex lapis like dead 💀
Childe: ISNT KAZUHA WANTED AND DECLARED CRIMINAL BY THE GOD OF ETERNITY??
Balladeer: DIDNT ZHONGLI FAKE HIS DEATH??
Childe: DOESNT KAZUHA WEAR THIGH HIGHS??
Balladeer: DOESNT ZHONGLI WEAR A SUIT THATS COLORS ARE BASED OFF OF COCKROACHES??
Childe: AT LEAST MY LOVER DOESNT SPEAK TO THE WIND
Balladeer: AT LEAST MY LOVER HASNT DATED HALF OF THE MYTHICAL CREATURES THAT ARE TOLD IN CHILDRENS STORIES
Childe: AT LEAST I DONT HAVE A CHOPPY BOWLCUT
Balladeer: AT LEAST I DONT WEAR ONE EARRING
The Fair Lady: bro ☠️
Childe: Bro im sorry for ripping on ur bf hes actually quite nice
Balladeer: idgaf im writing a diss track on you and your bf
Kazuha: what 💀
Childe: kazuha quick kiss scara to make him feel better
Kazuha: im in liyue again
Childe: HOW
Childe: YOU WERE HERE YESTERDAY 😭😭😭
Kazuha: idk
Childe: Sighs and giggles
Kazuha: oh no
Childe: Dear diary, today Zhongli touched my shoulder EGAHWGEAHWBWBAMJNAJAN He is so cute and pretty
Zhongli: Oh
The Doctor: HELP 💀💀
Childe: i mean He is also very silly and goofy and cute and adorable and hes my little Meow meow princess. EAYGEHINWIHSNIUWIUAAIU Giggles cutely. Today he asked me if i was okay after I let out the biggest burp of the century and I was like OMGOMG HE TOTALLY LIKES ME FR *Draws smiling and blushing emoji* People say im delulu but they are just jealous That Zhongli loves me fr!!!!! June 5, 2023
Zhongli: what..
Childe: HI ZHONGLI 😁😁😁😁
Zhongli: hello!
Childe: He also said hello to me. June 5 2023
Balladeer: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Kazuha: 💀
The Doctor: childe and scara are the gayest people here
Zhongli: correct
Balladeer: HOW TF AM I GAY????
The Fair Lady: ur spotify acc is public. you’re listening to a playlist called ‘POV: you have to be away from ur lover..” ☠️☠️
Kazuha: oh wow
childe: He’s blushing
Kazuha: what 😭😭
Balladeer: stfu i am not listening to that
The Doctor: they are so cute 😭😭😭
Damselette: They are quite an adorable couple, if I do say so.
Balladeer: shut up
The Jester: please stop knocking at my door, i won’t come out
The Doctor: AWWWW BUT PIERRRO!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA GOSSIP TO U AB MY CRUUUSSSHHH
Regrator: crush?
The Knave: nah 💀💀
The Doctor: uh
Regrator: we’re over.
The Doctor: NO PLS TAKE ME BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
The Doctor: I’LL BUY YOU ANYTHING I PROMSIE 😭😭
The Doctor: NO BABYDOLL
Balladeer: babydoll 💀
The Doctor: Stfu u prolly call kazuha babydoll
Balladeer: No i dont.
Childe: he calls him doll 🙄
Balladeer: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SON OF A WHORE
The Doctor: AHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH U CALL HIM DOLL
Balladeer: no tf i dont
The Fair Lady: ☠️
The Fair Lady: kazuha does he
Kazuha: sometimes idrk
Kazuha: it depends
Childe: i bet he calls him a cute lil dollie
Childe: AGAGHAGAGAGAGAHAGAHAGGAHAGAHAGAHGAHAHA
Balladeer: stfu u call zhongli babygirl
Balladeer: unironically
Childe: How ironic
The Fair Lady: do you not know what irony is.
The Doctor: @Zhongli Hi can u pls explain what irony is to childe cuz ur his bf and he will only listen to u
Zhongli: There are three types of irony. Verbal irony, situational irony, and dramatic irony.
Zhongli: Verbal irony is when one says something but means the opposite. Such as, let’s say someone were willing to shove a fork in an outlet, and asks you if it would be smart to do so. You, being the one who implants the irony in the conversation, says that it would be safe, with an ironic or sarcastic tone. But in reality, you mean that it would not be safe, and therefore would be stupid to do so.
Zhongli: Situational irony is when the opposite of what is expected to happen happens. Such as, a baker being allergic to flour, or a fire station burning down.
Zhongli: Lastly, dramatic irony is mostly used in cartoons, when the audience knows something the characters do not. Such as, a character is backing up, but only the audience realizes the villain is behind them, and they are backing up into said villain.
Childe: woah
Childe: ur so smart..
Childe: wanna go out
Zhongli has gone offline
Childe: Oh
The Knave: i was working out yesterday and i forgot to drink protein after (big mistake)
The Knave: everything hurts help me
Balladeer: imagine
The Knave: stfu u don’t even work out
Balladeer: i was working out like an hour ago
The Knave: Nuh uh
The Knave: someone needs to confirm this
Kazuha: i can confirm he was on facetime with me for some reason
Childe: Kazuha was prolly blushing
Kazuha: can you shut the fuck up?
The Doctor: HELP ☠️☠️
Childe: 😕💔
Kazuha: like everyday you say ‘he was prolly blushing’ when u cant even see me
Kazuha: and like idek why ur talking in the first place, you probably gasp and react to a wall the second zhongli says hello to a group of people that somehow includes you because you think he’s talking to only you
Balladeer: 💀
Childe: HOW DO U KNOW??
Kazuha: remember that movie you forced me to watch with you?
Childe: omg yes we painted each others nails and i braided ur hair and we gossiped ab ppl fr 😁😁
Kazuha: no the other one
Kazuha: zhongli sent u a simple text message and it had you biting your lip, blushing, giggling, squealing, kicking your feet, and im 99% sure you spent another 5 mins model walking around the house
The Doctor: damn 💀
Childe: Nuh uh
Kazuha: Yuh huh
Childe: And so Childe had enough and walked out of the room.
Balladeer: what ☠️
The Knave: bro’s narrating his own life ☠️☠️
Kazuha: anyways gn
The Doctor: he really just said anyways gn after that Insane amount of girlbossing it’s unbelievable
Balladeer: Goodnight
Childe: SCREENSHOTTED
The Fair Lady: I hate to disturb whatever the fuck you’re doing but please take a moment to look at pierro’s before and after 💀
two images attached: *photo library*
definition*: Normal pierro and emo pierro
The Doctor: HELP LMFAAOAOAOOAOO
The Doctor: LOOK AT HIS ROOM
The Doctor: THERE ARE LIKE VINYLS AND POSTERS AND SHIT EVEYRHWRE HOW DID HE CHANGE IT SO FAST
The Doctor: HE HASNR LEFT HIS FLOOR ALL DAY AAHAHAHAHAH
The Rooster: I will not lie, this is quite humorous.
Childe: i wont lie.. i wanna RIDE
Balladeer: shut up with your dumbass tiktok loving self Like your entire personality is tiktok its embarrassing like im surprised you havent said “Pierro’s in his __ era!!!!” Like shut the fuck up no one cares
Childe: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR PERSONALITY IS GIVING SHAZAM
Balladeer: WHAT TEH FUCK IS SHAZAM?? THE APP??
Childe: NO SHAZAM THE GUY
Balladeer: NO ONE FUCKING WATCHED THAT MOVIE DUMBASS
Balladeer: THE ONLY VERSION I SAW WAS LIKE 3 YEARS AGO AND IT WAS A FAMILY YOUTUBE CHANNEL RECREATING IT AND IT WAS ASS I THOUGHT THEY WERE THE POWER RANGERS
Childe: TF ARE YOU TALKING AB?? THE ONLY MOVIE YOU EVER WATCHED WAS GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY ONE AND TWO
Balladeer: BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS FUNNY YOU FUCKING DUMBASS
Childe: YOU ONLY LIKE IT BECAUSE THERE ARE CURSE WORDS IN IT
Balladeer: AND YOU ONLY LIKE ROMCOMS BECAUSE THERES ROMANCE IN IT YOU LONELY FUCK
Childe: Kazuha likes romance genres
Balladeer: does it look like i give a fuck
Kazuha: ☠️
Balladeer: im not gonna act like you. if i told you “but zhongli likes romance genres” you would start sobbing and crying and apologizing and talking about how much you suddenly likes romance genres
Childe: You pretended to like strawberries for kazuha
The Fair Lady: i swear to god whenever you guys fight you always bring up each others partners and i dont fucking know how ☠️
Guys im saving for kazuha (‘saving’ i mean i only have 9 wishes for him and may possibly have 10 and i think i will get him because i have 62 pity but i probably wont just being honest but i love him and i NEED him so badly i will die if i dont get him and i will fake my death and live under the new name ‘dedalus diggle’ if i dont get him you dont UNDERSTAND 😍😍😍)
also im forcing my non-genshin friend to call me the day his banner comes out so i can start my evil rituals for him That i found on youtube and change all my wallpapers to kazuha eveyrhwre and all of my pfps and shit and im gonna close my eyes and turn my camera on and show my ipad screen Because im a mobile player like the dumb fuck i am and i will pull for him and my friend will tell me if she sees blue purple or gold