Chapter 4
It had been two weeks since you two had kissed. It was the only thing that flooded your mind during your waking hours. That day you had stood up and walked out, it killed you on the inside. You hadn’t wanted to walk away but it was like your body was on autopilot. When you got home all you could think of was the reasoning behind it.
You felt so unlovable.
It was that simple. It was a bitter thought that almost never left your head. How could someone like Otto like you at all? It was a question that filled your head when the kiss came to mind. Ever since you had your heart broken the first time, you never cared much for other people. Being infatuated with Otto was a once in a million chance for you. You had never looked at another man the same after your high school lover broke you into a million pieces. You couldn’t risk having it happen again, even if Otto didn’t seem like the type to hurt you. It broke your heart that you couldn’t have what you really wanted. But you knew that it was for the best, even if deep down you had your doubts.
You hadn’t shown up to Otto’s class for the days that you had it, those being Tuesdays and Thursdays. You had been skipping work, saying that you were sick and couldn’t come in, knowing that if you did, there was a chance Otto was there. You couldn’t bear to see the face you learned to love, dearly. But it was your own doing that held you back from the love that you deserved, despite every thought you had that told you otherwise.
Otto worried about you, he had tried your work when you hadn’t shown up in a week. He wondered if he did something wrong. Maybe you were disgusted by him? But why would you have acted the way you did around him if you were disgusted with him. He buried himself in his thoughts as he continued to work on his project. They were now at the building stage and with many sleepless nights, they were coming to an end. He had even begun handing out invitations for the viewing of his project, the day that his life’s work would finally come together. He couldn’t help but wonder if he should invite you, wanting nothing but to be with you. He wanted to see your face light up again at his projects, it was the thing he learned to cherish most about you. Your amazement for every little thing that Otto did. It warmed his heart. He wished he could witness just one more time. Without you around, he felt more lonely than he had in a long time. You filled a hole in him he never realized was there until you came along. It felt wrong, being in love with you. But he couldn’t help it. His feelings were too strong for you.
-
Another week had passed by, you finally agreed to show up to work on the account that you were close to being fired from being out for so long. Your boss only making an exception because she knew you. You walked into work, relieving the other worker of their shift.
“By the way, boss told me to give you this.” They handed you a letter, it was stamped in wax with your initial on it. There were little hearts over the envelope in some places.
’Cute.’ You thought to yourself, not being able to contain a small smile. You couldn’t help but love the man no matter what. You took it from their hand, ghosting your finger over the stamp. It had to have been from Otto, you knew it.
“Boss said some guy, kinda bulky, swung by here and told us to give it to you since he hadn’t seen you.” They patted your back. “We missed you, Y/N.” They smiled before gathering their things and leaving.
You took care of a few customers and waited till work died down a bit before you went to the back to open the letter.
‘Dear, Y/N
Though our last visit was quite troubling. I request your appearance at the showing of my fusion reactor. It will be this coming Friday night.
Despite it all, I still hold you dear to my heart. If there is anything I can do for you in these times, I am here.
You are still my favorite student of all time.
And even if things don’t work out in a romantic way, I would still be pleased to have you as a friend.
If not, I understand and I apologize deeply for my actions.
Thank you for all you have done for me in these past weeks, Y/N.
Love, Otto’
Your fingers traced over the last two words. ‘Love’? Your heart dropped, feeling sick to your stomach. You read the note again, then a third time, then a fourth. You loved him and he seemed to love you too. You were doing nothing but sabotaging yourself but you didn’t know how to fix it.
“Fuck,” You muttered to yourself, shoving your face into the palms of your hands, not being able to hold back the tears anymore. How could you have done this? How could you mess it all up when it was just getting good again?
But even after it all, you didn’t think you would end up going to the showing. You didn’t think you could show your face to him after everything you had done. You wanted to see him again, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms and giving him loving kisses, apologizing for walking away that day. But, you simply couldn’t and you hated yourself for it. You finished off the rest of your shift, the showing was in two days. You still had time to make up your mind. You went home that night and curled up in bed, pulling a pillow to your chest and imagined it was Otto. There was no denying you loved him more than anything in this life and you had just met him for God’s sake. Your heart ached. As you slept, you dreamt of Otto. Him holding you close, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, peppering kisses all over your face. Oh the things you would give to be in that position in real life.
Two days came and went. You didn’t show. You couldn’t show. Not after leaving him like that. You had even filled out papers to be taken out of course, claiming it wasn’t your type of class when, clearly, it was. This was just going to be another reset for you. Another way to fuck up your life even more, put you in more debt and make you ten times more miserable than you already we’re. That entire day you spent laying in your bed, pondering. But in the end, you never left the cocoon that had become your bed in the last few weeks. You hated the way you were. You hated that you couldn’t show up even after Otto claimed he didn’t mind what you guys were relationship wise, and that he just wanted to see you again.
It was getting later in the afternoon when you heard fire trucks and police sirens rushing down your street. You pushed the blankets off your body, going to the window in your room and opened it, sticking your head out to see what was going on. A few blocks down all the cars turned and went out of your sight. You closed the window, not locking it back figuring there was no reason to. You went to your living room, turning on your TV to see what was going on. That’s when you saw it. Your heart stopped in your chest.
“Scientist turned into monster after a tragic accident concerning his fusion reactor” Read the TV, you felt like fainting. Fusion reactor was the only hint you needed to know that it was Otto.