Chapter Four
"Do you think Steve and Nat are okay?" Lainey asked, following Clint through the middle of nowhere.
They had driven a car straight out of D.C. and rode for a few hundred miles, before ditching the vehicle altogether, and walking on foot.
Lainey was bitterly exhausted from the day she had, and caught up on some much needed rest during the long car ride. She didn't know where they were going, Clint wouldn't tell her. But he did say that she'd really like it there.
She asked him to describe where they were going so that she could imagine it in her head, but all he did was chuckle at her expense.
So onward they went. On foot.
Clint said it had something to do with them not being followed.
Lainey thought that was a good point, considering everything that had happened in the last few days. It was absolute madness! Maybe one day when she got older and the world didn't need the Avengers anymore, she'd right a 'tell all' book about her experiences.
And to think, it all started with a morning workout.
"I'm sure they are, honey." The archer looked back to send her a comforting smile. "I know Nat better than I know most people. It takes a whole lot to get her down. And Steve's a tough guy, too."
They had been walking for what seemed like hours and Lainey's feet were starting to hurt, as were the scrapes on her hands and knees. The adrenaline had worn off long before they had gotten to this point, and now the child was just ready to go home and curl up in bed.
And if anyone could guarantee her that Steve, Natasha, and Sam were safe, then she promised she'd do so without a single fuss.
Her feet dragged and her shoes crunched on some fallen leaves, as she lagged a little ways behind Clint, still following his lead.
Of course, Clint looked back every couple of minutes to make sure that she was still right behind him. He wasn't about to lose Natasha's kid in the middle of nowhere. That wouldn't be very easy to explain. But it would be easy for Natasha to wring his neck if it actually happened.
So he wasn't taking any chances. He had kids of his own and he wouldn't be nonchalant with them. So why would be with Lainey?
The air was a bit humid and Lainey's shirt was sticking to her skin as sweat dripped down her back, but she didn't complain. She wasn't really one to whine about things that couldn't be helped when the situation was serious. But that didn't mean she wasn't uncomfortable.
So the best way to distract herself, was to talk.
And Clint didn't mind. He remembered a time when she wouldn't say a word no matter how hard anyone tried to get her to speak.
He preferred this over radio silence any day.
"Yeah…..I hope Sam's not scared."
"Sam?"
Natasha never mentioned anyone named 'Sam' during their phone call. Then again, they had been working on borrowed time and didn't have a chance to really dive into too many details.
He'd meet him soon enough.
"Yeah, me and Steve met him when we went running a few days ago. He's really nice." Lainey broke into a jog to keep up with the man. "He has wings."
"He has wings, huh?" Clint had no idea what the kid was talking about, but he was sure Natasha would debrief him. "That sounds cool."
"It's really cool...…do you know who the Winter Soldier is?" She asked at random.
She was still thinking about her encounter with the man. He was dangerous, that much she knew. But why hadn't he hurt her? Why was he so gentle? Why hadn't he taken her with him? Did his boss not want her? Or did they order him to find her, but he decided not to follow orders at the last minute?
Lainey had so many questions, but she was sure none of them would get an answer. No one was willing to divulge any information about the soldier with her because she was only nine years old.
Well, nine wasn't that young. And Lainey understood a lot of things. She wasn't a baby.
"I've heard of him, but I can't say I know him. I certainly don't know his name. Why?" Clint chalked the questions up to curiosity instead of inquisition. So he wasn't at all concerned when Lainey dropped the subject entirely.
"No reason."
The two fell into a very comfortable silence as they made it through the many trees surrounding them into an open clearing.
And Lainey nearly sighed in relief.
A few yards down, there was a two story house with a barn a few feet away from it. Smoke was rising from the chimney despite it being so dark out, so it was obvious that someone was home and awake. There were chickens running around the yard, squawking freely without a care in the world.
They were cute, Lainey liked them.
"Is this where you live?"
"This is home." He nodded, taking her hand to lead her into the house without even giving her a minute to process what was happening.
And if Lainey thought that the outside looked like one of those houses she had always dreamed of living in...It was so cozy! There was a single television and couch in the living room, the kitchen was kept in clean and pristine condition, and the stairs going up were well kept.
Some movement coming from the kitchen caught Lainey's eye and she tensed up, strictly out of instinct.
But she didn't really need to be on guard, but there was no helping it. The movement had come from a beautiful woman with long brown hair and warm eyes. Lainey could only assume that this was Clint's wife and the wedding ring on her left finger had confirmed it.
"I didn't hear you come in." She smiled, moving away from the kitchen and into the living room where Lainey and Clint were patiently waiting.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't call." Clint greeted as he delicately pecked her lips. "It didn't exactly go as planned. Hey." He turned his attention back to Lainey. Sometime between them walking through the door and Laura walking over to them, she had hidden herself behind him and refused to move. "It's okay. You don't need to hide."
But for Lainey, it was either hide, or fight.
And she didn't think that Clint would appreciate her fighting his wife just because she felt threatened. She didn't think Natasha would react very well to it either.
So, she remained where she was.
"Okay." Clint shrugged, unwilling to press the issue. "Laura, this is Lainey. Lainey, this is Laura, my wife."
"Hello, Lainey." Laura made sure to keep her distance so she wouldn't spook the girl. "It's really nice to meet you, sweetie."
Clint had told Laura all about Lainey one night once both his children were in bed. He wanted to make sure that they wouldn't a hear a word he said. Lainey's past wasn't a very optimistic one and he didn't want to fill their heads with unabridged stories of her childhood. It wasn't for their ears to hear.
And it was a good thing, too. Because once Laura had heard everything, she had been just about ready to call Natasha and demand that she bring Lainey with her to the farm. As a mother, hearing all these awful things that a child had to endure was unsettling. She couldn't empathize with the nine year old, but she could definitely sympathize.
The only person who could empathize with Lainey, was Natasha. Which was probably why the two had bonded so quickly and so organically. According to Clint, the two were practically joined at the hip.
Now all Lainey had to do was get used to everyone that wasn't her Natasha.
"Hello." The child spoke timidly, still hiding behind the archer.
"I heard you had a really rough day. You must be very tired. How about I show you where you can sleep and you can get some rest?"
The offer did sound tempting. But Lainey wasn't sure she'd get very much sleep not knowing if Natasha was okay. But Laura was right. She was tired. And she wasn't supposed to be up this late, so maybe it was better to just get some rest and ask Clint if he heard anything new in the morning.
A few hours of sleep wouldn't hurt.
"Should we wake her up?"
"I don't think so."
"Dad said he would wake her up in a few minutes...why not save him the trip?"
Lainey woke up to two very unfamiliar voices the next morning. Due to the stress from the day before, her body remained on high alert.
She kept her eyes shut and her breathing even to fool whoever was in the room and make them think that she was still very much asleep. Her mother had always taught her that if she woke up in an unfamiliar place, she should feign sleep until she knew for certain that she wasn't in any kind of danger.
"She's been sleeping for a long time." One of the two voices said.
"It's only eleven."
"Well, we're having breakfast late and I'm hungry."
And that's when Lainey felt it. A hand on her shoulder.
So quick as lightening, her hand shot out to grab whoever was touching her as her legs wrapped around their neck. She expertly twisted her body and sent them tumbling onto the floor below with a hard thud before they even realized what was happening.
She had them pinned with her full body weight and her arm was reeled back to deliver a stifling punch. She had no thought that what she was doing was wrong. She was in survival mode.
And now that Lainey was fully awake, she could see that it had been a young boy, who looked a little bit older than she was, with a girl who was younger.
And boy was she startled when the little girl screamed.
"Get off of him! Get off!"
Lainey gasped as she was brought back to reality when Clint and Laura sped upstairs and into the room to see what all the commotion was about. Laura looked both angry and horrified while Clint was harder to read.
But though Lainey was aware of what was going on, she was still stuck in that awful headspace.
"Oh my goodness." The older woman quickly scooped the young girl up and closely cradled her, protecting her from Lainey. "Clint!"
"It's okay, it's okay." Clint assured her. "Cooper, are you okay?" He firmly asked the boy.
"I think so." He hesitated to answer, eyeing Lainey warily.
He hadn't expected her to attack him the way she did. He had been really excited to meet her, especially since his parents said that she was good friends with Natasha. So, he was really confused as to why she wanted to hurt him.
Shouldn't a friend of Natasha's know better?
"Don't move." Clint told him before turning back to Laura. "He's gonna be fine, I promise. Take Lila downstairs and stay there."
"Clint—"
"—Take her downstairs."
Laura shot one last look at both Lainey and her husband before doing exactly what she was asked to do, leaving the three alone.
"Lainey, honey." Clint inched slowly towards the girl, staying within her sight. "C'mon, snap out of it. He's not gonna hurt you."
And how was he so sure of that? This kid, Cooper, he had startled her. When he tried to wake her up, his hand was far too close to her neck for her liking. If his intentions were so good, then how come he had touched her like that?
Had Clint just brought her here under the ruse of it being a 'safe place' only to betray her? Had it all been a lie? There were plenty of adults who used the innocent looks of kids to get what they wanted.
This wouldn't be the first time Lainey had encountered such a thing. She had seen it. She had experienced it.
And she wouldn't be taken for a fool.
Clint could see the inner conflict she was having and bent down to her height. She reminded him so much of Natasha that it was scary. It was Nature vs Nurture.
When Natasha had first defected to S.H.I.E.L.D. it took years for her to put her guard down even just a little bit. Whenever something startled her, she'd go straight into attack mode to protect herself. And sometimes, a lot of the time, Clint was the only one who could snap her out of it.
Boy, how history did repeat itself.
"Did you hear me?" He asked the girl. She was very visibly shaken. Her eyes flickered back and forth between him and Cooper, and her body was trembling so much that he could practically feel it from where he was. "He's not gonna hurt you. No one here will hurt you. I promise."
"Нет нет! Ты врешь!" Tears burned at the back of Lainey's eyes, making their blue hue that much colder. "Нет!"
Though Lainey's native language was Spanish, she found that the Russian had slipped off of her tongue so much easier.
"Dad?" Cooper's eyes furrowed in fear when Lainey's grip got tighter.
How was she so strong? She was so small!
"Алайна, милая. Послушай меня." Clint remained calm. "Это Купер, он мой сын. Эта маленькая девочка? Ее зовут Лила. Она моя дочь. Никто здесь не причинит тебе вреда."
"Ваша семья?" Lainey's voice shook as her resolve began to crumble. "Купер и Лила?"
"Да, Купер и Лила. Обещаю, они безвредны." He nodded.
"Безопасно?" The child's lip quivered before she could stop it from from happening.
"да. Ты в безопасности."
And luckily, that's all it took for Lainey to calm herself down. She bit her bottom lip before lowering her fist and standing up off of Cooper. But before she could help him stand, he scrambled up and jumped into his father's arms.
"Dad, why did she—" The boy clutched his father's shirt tightly between his fists.
"—It's okay." Clint soothed him while Lainey turned her head to give them some space. "You're okay. Go downstairs with Lila and your mother, okay?"
"But Dad, what about you? She just—"
"Go downstairs. I'll be down in a minute, I promise." He broke the hug and watched as his son left the room.
And when he turned his attention back to Lainey, she took a step back, increasing the distance between them. He said that she was safe and she believed him, but part of her had her doubts.
She just attacked his son. How could he not respond badly to that?
"Hey, look at me." Clint spoke softly, remaining exactly where he was. "I'm not upset. I meant what I said. No one here is going to lay a hand on you."
"But your son..."
"Is fine. You didn't hurt him. You just startled him."
"I didn't mean to. I swear, I didn't."
"I know you didn't." Clint assured her, his hands still where she could see them. "But why did you?"
Lainey had been doing so well over the past year. She was bubbly, child-like, and for those who didn't know her, they would've thought that she was just a regular kid.
"Did something happen yesterday?"
What had caused such an extreme setback like this?
"I don't...I don't know." Lainey shook her head. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
And she really didn't.
It was like something in her brain had snapped and her body took over. She had been afraid, and she reacted.
But why? She had no clue.
"I'm not upset, Lainey." Clint told her before she could freak out again. "Yesterday was a lot to handle and it probably caught up with you today. I get it."
Lainey didn't say anything that time. There was nothing much to say. She had just flipped out on this man's son and he wasn't even angry at her?
Lainey had received more of a reaction for doing much less than that.
"You know what? Why don't we just forget about this whole thing? It's a new day and the kids are really excited to spend time with you."
When he said, 'forget', he meant that he'd drop the subject and bring it to Natasha's attention. He couldn't do anything for Lainey if she kept holding back like this. And Natasha deserved to know what was happening with her kid. If anyone could get to the bottom of this, it was her.
"You smell that?" He sniffed the air.
"Yeah." Lainey nodded.
It smelled like someone was cooking. And it smelled delicious.
"I bet Laura and the kids made breakfast. Are you hungry? What do you say we go downstairs and see what's in the kitchen?"
"But what about your family?" Just because Clint had forgiven her for what she did, didn't mean that everyone else would.
"I'm sure they'll be more than happy to share. Let's go."
The walk downstairs was a lot shorter than Lainey would've liked it to be. She remembered that the night before, the walk up had been slower than ever because all she could think about was getting some much needed rest.
But today, today was the complete opposite. And before Lainey could even blink, they had made it to the kitchen.
Laura was at the stove, flipping pancakes while Cooper and Lila were sitting at the table, quietly eating their breakfast.
It was so silent, the only noise in the room was the sound of the utensils hitting the plates.
"Oh, it's about time the two of you came down to eat." Laura smiled once she turned around.
"Lainey? I'm sorry I woke you up like that." Cooper spoke sincerely. "Mom explained it to me. She said that you got startled when I touched you, because you're not used to that. I didn't mean to scare you."
Lainey looked at the two adults in the room in shock. She was sure that this whole thing was her fault and she was the one who needed to apologize. She was the one who had overreacted and hurt him.
"It's— it's okay." She stammered. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
"Nope." Cooper popped a piece of his pancake in his mouth and shook his head. "That was a really cool move that you did. Can you show it to me?"
"After breakfast." Laura cut their conversation short, hoping Cooper would forget about it later because Lainey didn't really look comfortable with teaching him that kind of thing. "Lainey, why don't you sit down and get something to eat?"
"Okay." The nine year old sat in the chair that Cooper pulled out so that she would be next to him. Lila looked at her for a second, as if to size her up, before smiling and offering her a pancake from the big platter in the middle of the table.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"How do you know Auntie Nat?" Lila asked Lainey.
After breakfast, the two Barton children pretty much forgot all about the incident and pretty much fought over Lainey's attention. Cooper wanted to play football with her and Lila wanted to play on the old tire swing that was hanging on a tree.
Not one to disappoint, especially since she felt guilty, Lainey tried to evenly divide up her time between the two. She had played a few rounds of football with Cooper first and was now pushing Lila on the swing to catch her breath from the action.
It was a hot day. Hotter than normal for the time of year, so the kids had spent plenty of time outside. Lainey was enjoying herself, playing with kids around her age, but she was still worried about Natasha and she was trying not to think about her.
And she had been doing a good job until Lila got inquisitive.
"She's my friend." Lainey obviously wasn't going to tell a five year old exactly how she and the redhead met. She didn't think that it was exactly appropriate for her age.
She could've made something up, but she also didn't want to lie. She spent a lot of time telling lies and now that she had more and more opportunities to tell the truth, she took advantage of them.
"I miss her. She's really nice." Lila smiled as Lainey kept pushing her. "When she comes to visit, she plays all sorts of games with me, like tag and dress up! Oh! And when I'm sad, she always holds me!"
Honestly, Lainey didn't know what Natasha was to her. Friend? Mentor? Guardian? Their relationship was complicated. Sure, they were always joined at the hip and she looked up to the woman. In her eyes, Natasha could do no wrong.
They watched movies together and they cooked together. Natasha was even monitoring her schoolwork and making sure she was doing everything correctly.
But still, Lainey felt like there was some sort of space between them. Like a chasm inevitably separating them.
And Lila's words only confirmed it.
Lainey didn't really like playing with dolls, she'd rather curl up on the couch and read a good book, but if playing with dolls meant that Natasha would spend more time with her, she'd suck it up and play.
Lainey thought she knew Natasha. She was under the impression she wasn't the cuddly, playful type. But she was learning that she was wrong. Of course, Natasha had her moments where if Lainey was tired, she'd hold her on her hip, or if she had a nightmare, she'd sit with her until she went back to sleep. But the woman never really did any of that when they were in a good mood. She'd smile at her and ask her she finished her work or not and prepare a snack for her, but she wouldn't really show any physical affection.
It wasn't that Lainey was ungrateful, because she really did like Natasha, she just...wanted more. At least, she thought she wanted more.
She spent eight years with someone who had never shown her any type of affection whatsoever. Not a hug, not a kiss, not even a smile... Just kicks, slaps, and punches. As a matter of fact, if Lainey hadn't grown up watching television, she wouldn't have known that there were parents out there that didn't actually train and spar with their children 24/7.
Now that she was in a place where she was being treated well, she knew what she wanted. But she didn't know how to ask for it.
She felt a new and strange feeling bubbling up in her chest, but she didn't know what it was. Anger? Annoyance? She couldn't exactly put a finger on it, but she did know that she wanted to scream and beat her fists into the ground because of it.
"And she reads the best bedtime stories!" Lila, oblivious to Lainey's inner turmoil, grew more and more excited. "My favorite one is 'Snow White'! She changes it up all the time! What's yours?"
Never in Lainey's life had she ever had anyone read her a bedtime story. It had just never come up. She had never even thought about it. It sounded very nice, though. Sitting in bed, getting comfy underneath all the covers and having someone read until she fell asleep.
"I don't have one." She kept her voice even, as not to alarm Lila or ruin her happy mood.
"Everybody has a favorite bedtime story!" Lila stopped the swing so that she could look directly at Lainey. "There are so many good ones!"
"I don't know any." The older girl shrugged apologetically.
"Your mama never read any to you when you were my age?" Lila deflated like a popped balloon.
And when Lainey saw the look on her face, she felt awful. She didn't mean to make her sad. She just really hadn't interacted with other kids, other than Peter. So she didn't know how sensitive and empathetic younger ones could be. "No." She shook her head, offering her a smile.
But even Lila could tell that it was fake. Lainey was obviously sad. Her eyes couldn't hide the fact.
And she was determined to change that.
"Turn! Turn!" Cooper laughed when Lainey ran one of his remote controlled cars into the wall.
After dinner, the two had stayed downstairs and played with random toys that were in a crate near the wall. Lila had opted not to play with them, and instead, went up to her room to be alone.
Lainey couldn't help but feel like she had put a damper on the girl's mood, but Cooper quickly distracted her by shoving a remote in her hands, coaching her on what to do and how to do it.
She wasn't really into cars, she loved Lego, but this was extremely entertaining.
"That was fun!" She giggled and handed him the remote. "Show me how you drive."
Cooper grinned very confidently and put the car in gear, reversing it away from the wall before he raced around the couch, being careful of the random things lying on the floor.
After a few laps, he brought it to a sharp stop right in front of him and smirked.
"You're good."
"That's because he's had plenty of practice." Clint chuckled, catching their attention. "And you'll get there. Just not today. It's time for bed."
"Awww, Dad, she was just getting good, too."
"You guys have been playing for hours now. You mean to tell me that you're not even a little tired?"
"Well...I guess so." Cooper admitted.
They had been playing for a long while. Time really does fly when you're having fun. Lainey was just so easy to get along with, even though she was younger than he was. But she was closer to his age than Lila. All she ever wanted to do was play with dolls. And he did play with her sometimes, he didn't mind. But it was nice to have someone around who was willing to try new things.
He liked having her around.
"Alright, then go on up. I'll be there in a second."
"Okay." Cooper threw an arm around Lainey and squeezed. "Goodnight, Lainey. See you tomorrow. I had a lot of fun."
Lainey watched as he hiked up the stairs and put some of the remaining toys in the crate.
"Don't worry about that, I'll do it." Clint stopped her. "Why don't you head on up, too?"
"Did you hear anything from...?" Lainey refused to meet his eyes, fearful of bad news.
"She's at a secret base with Steve and Sam. She's safe." Clint told her. "And she says she's sorry."
Sorry? For what? She hadn't done anything that she needed to apologize for.
"Oh." Lainey nodded, pushing herself to stand up. "Okay."
She was glad that everyone was safe, because the Winter Soldier was really dangerous and he's really good at what he does. And then getting arrested? That was scary. She had a couple of encounters with the police after they suspected she had been stealing from her local stores. Nothing ever came of it, but that didn't make it any less frightening.
She couldn't imagine getting arrested.
"Goodnight, kid."
"Goodnight, Mr. Barton."
"Lainey?" Laura knocked on the door of the guest room that the child was staying in.
Whenever Natasha would stay over, she'd sleep in that room. So she had a few articles of clothing stashed in the dresser drawers.
Lainey 'conveniently' found one of the woman's hoodies and slipped it on over her head to use as pajamas. It was cute, it practically swallowed her up whole.
"Come in." Came Lainey's soft reply.
"Hi, I just wanted to come in and see how you were doing."
"I'm okay."
And she was okay. A little homesick, but definitely okay. Nothing was hurting or bleeding, so she was absolutely fine.
"Are you sure?" Laura pressed, hoping that she'd open up to her even if it was just a little bit. "It's alright if you're not. And if you don't feel 100%, you can come to me."
"Thank you. I'm okay." Lainey smiled. "Just a little tired."
"Alright, well Lila wanted to ask if you'd go over to her room for a few minutes. She has something she'd like to show you."
"Okay." Lainey nodded and followed the older woman out to Lila's room, finding the girl sitting on her bed with a bunch of books scattered over her comforter.
"Hi!" Lila greeted.
"Hi." Lainey waved. "Did you need something from me?"
"Yeah, come sit!" Lila scooted from one end of the bed to the other, patting the newly made empty space on her left for Lainey to sit. "We're gonna read a bedtime story!"
So this is what she had been doing during all that time.
Lila had been so saddened by the fact that Lainey never had anyone to read her a bedtime story, so she decided all on her own, that she would be the very first.
"I tried to find a book to read, but I couldn't decide. So, now you get to pick!" Lila pointed at all the books.
"Umm, this one looks cool." Lainey skimmed through the pile and pointed out one that caught her eyes.
"Goodnight Moon'!" Lila squealed and picked the book up. "I like this one, too!"
"Are you two alright in here?" Laura smiled at the way that they were bonding.
"Yeah, we're fine, Mommy. You can go now." Lila waved her away.
"Alright." Laura laughed. "Just make sure you go to bed as soon as you finish the book."
"Okay, we will." Lila smiled and opened the book once the door closed. "Ready? Get under the covers before you get cold!"
Lainey snorted a laugh, but did as she was told, resting her head on one of Lila's pink pillows. The entire room was practically pink, so it was safe to assume that it was Lila's favorite color.
"In the great green room, there was a telephone and a red balloon, and a picture of the cow jumping over the moon..."
"...Goodnight nobody, goodnight mush. And goodnight to the old lady whispering 'hush'. Goodnight stars, goodnight air. Goodnight noises everywhere." Lila finished reading the book and closed it, setting it down on her nightstand. "Did you like it?" She asked Lainey.
But when she received no answer, she looked to the left and found Lainey was fast asleep. Lila had successfully put her out.
"Girls?" Laura peeked her into the room. "It's time to sleep."
"Lainey fell asleep during the story, Mommy." The five year old put a finger to her lips while her free hand stroked Lainey's hair.
"She must've enjoyed the story then." Laura smiled.
"Yeah." Lila yawned. "Maybe Auntie Nat will read to her once she finds out how much she likes stories." The child's eyes fluttered as she laid next to her new friend.
"I'm sure she will." Laura kissed her cheek and pulled the covers up under Lainey's chin. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Mommy."