Chapter Five
"Are the girls asleep?" Clint asked once his wife trudged back down the stairs, joining him on the couch for a glass of wine.
"Yeah, they're asleep. Lila was reading Lainey a story. Poor thing was so tired she fell asleep right in the middle of it."
Clint smiled warmly before taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage. This time of night, the two usually sat down together and enjoyed one another's company before they themselves retired for the night. It was just a special thing they did without the noise of the kids. "I bet Lila was proud of herself for putting someone older than she is to sleep." He chuckled.
"Oh, she was proud. I don't think we'll here the end of this once Lainey goes back home." Laura chuckled before abruptly sobering up.
"What's wrong?"
"I was just thinking about everything you told me." Laura shrugged. "Lainey is nine years old and she's been through so much. You can see it in her eyes. She's always looking for escape routes when she walks into a room, she's tense, and look at what happened this morning."
"That wasn't her fault."
"It was nobody's fault." Laura agreed, not wanting her husband to think that she was blaming the child. "You told me she was improving. She was acting like a normal kid. What happened?"
"I don't know." Clint looked down at his glass and shook his head. "I honestly don't know. But it's gonna take a lot longer than a year to overcome everything she's been through."
"You should tell Nat about this."
"I know, I plan to." He nodded, throwing an arm around his wife's shoulders.
Lainey needed help. She needed someone to be there, right beside her, as she worked through her trauma. It wouldn't just go away overnight.
"Lainey, honey." Laura gently tapped the child on the shoulder, not at all surprised when she flinched. "Oh, I'm sorry." She quickly apologized and lifted her hand. "I got a call from Nat and she wants to speak to you."
"Natasha?" Lainey quirked an eyebrow, still recovering from that little hiccup.
She wished she could stop freaking out when other people touched her. It wasn't like Laura was going to do anything, but her body just wouldn't believe that.
It was exhausting.
"Yeah, she's on the phone right now and she's really excited to hear your voice." Laura handed the girl the landline and watched as she lifted the receiver to her ear before walking into the kitchen to give her some space.
"Natasha?" Lainey hesitated.
She had been with the Barton's for a few days with radio silence from Natasha. So, of course, she thought the worst.
But when Laura handed her the phone and told her who was on the other end, she couldn't help but cheer internally. She was okay. She had kept her promise. She wasn't going anywhere.
"Hi, малышка." She heard the redhead's raspy voice. "I'm so sorry we got separated. I promise, I'll make it up to you. Anything you want to do, we'll do. We'll make a day of it."
"Can we go for ice cream?" Lainey picked at the tear in her jeans she had gotten trying to crawl away from the Winter Soldier.
"We'll get tons of ice cream." Natasha smiled on the other end.
"Annnddd can I ride my scooter?"
"You can ride that thing for as long as you want. How about you make a list of things you want to do and show it to me when I get back?"
"Okay! I'll do it right now!"
"Wait, hold on! I'm still talking to you." Natasha laughed at her excitement. "How are you? Did you get hurt?"
"I'm okay. I called Mr. Barton and he found me." Laura noticed a spark in the little girl's eyes that hadn't been there before Natasha called. "Are you hurt? What happened?"
She had been playing outside for most of the day and popped back in the house to get a drink of water. She guessed Clint and Laura hadn't been expecting her to come back inside, because they had the news playing on the tv.
Lainey didn't really understand everything that was going on, but the news reporters said that three of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s helicarriers were dropped into the Potomac River.
Something about stopping a huge disaster from happening before it even started.
"I'll be honest with you, kid. I did get a little bit injured, but I'm fine now. I have some news that I think you'd love to hear." Natasha intentionally neglected to answer Lainey's second question.
"What kind of news?" Lainey perked up.
"Fury's alive."
"He is?"
How? Lainey thought that Maria, Steve, and Natasha all watched him flatline. How could he be alive now?
Lainey wasn't even going to ask. She was just happy he was okay.
"He is. So as soon as I come and pick you up, you can go right back to driving him crazy. That sound like fun?"
"Yes! Are Sam and Steve okay?"
"Sam's okay, but Steve is a little banged up. He's healing right now."
"Oh." Lainey pouted at the thought of not being able to speak to Steve. "Are you coming to get me soon?"
"Yes, I'm coming to get you soon." Natasha pretended to be annoyed, but really, she was chomping at the bit to be able to see the nine year old again.
"How soon?"
"What do you mean, how soon? I thought you wanted to stay with Clint and Laura for a few more weeks." She teased.
"Nooo!" Lainey whined. "I wanna go home with you! You promised!"
"Hey." Natasha felt bad when she realized her joke didn't land. "I'm kidding. You're coming home with me. I don't break my promises, малышка. I have to go to a meeting at Capitol Hill and as soon as I'm done, I'm all yours."
"Can I watch?" Whenever anyone had a meeting at Capital Hill, it was televised and Lainey wanted to see it.
"No." Natasha shook her head. "I want you to stay away from the tv until I come and get you, okay?"
"Okay."
What a bummer. But on the bright side, she didn't have to wait another night to go home!
She liked the Bartons and she loved being with them. They were a lot of fun, but the homesickness was starting to settle in and Lainey just wanted to sleep in her own bed tonight.
"Alright, the meeting is starting. Be good, okay?"
"I'm always good."
"Debatable. Увидимся."
"Пока-пока."
"Eighty-eight, eighty-nine, ninety, ninety-one, ninety-two..." Lainey sat upside down on the tire swing in the front yard and counted as she moved back and forth.
"What're you doing?" Cooper stood in front of her and stopped the swing. "Your face is all red."
"I'm counting." Lainey sat up straight and crawled to sit on top of the tire so that Cooper could sit inside of it.
"Why?"
"I wanna see how long it takes for Natasha to get here." Lainey shrugged. "She said she was coming today and today is almost over."
It was true. After she had gotten off the phone with the redhead, Lainey waited patiently for her to walk through the front door. Seconds turned into minutes, and then minutes turned into hours.
Maybe she wasn't coming today. Maybe she was busy with something and she would come tomorrow.
Like all children, Lainey lacked patience.
"But it isn't over yet." Cooper said. "I bet she'll be here in no time. If she said she'd be here, she'll be here."
"I guess."
"Here." Cooper climbed off the swing so that she could sit back where she was before. "I'll push you. Ready?"
"Ready!" Lainey kicked her feet in anticipation before she felt Cooper's hand on her back, sending her upwards. "Higher!"
The children's laughter filled the afternoon air as Cooper gave the next push all he had, sending her up as high as he could make her go.
Lainey's giggles were loud and infectious. And the smile on her face was so wide, it hurt. She loved the feeling of swinging up high and then coming back down. It was exhilarating. "Higher! Higher!"
Cooper felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to find Natasha standing behind him with a smirk on her face. But before he could say anything, she put a finger to her lips and began to push Lainey herself.
The child squealed out of the surprise of someone else's hands on her back and the fact that she didn't think she could go up any higher than Cooper had been pushing her.
Natasha pushed her a few more times before stopping the swing and turning Lainey around to face her.
"You came back for me!" Lainey exclaimed, throwing herself at the woman as Cooper went back inside the house to let them have their private moment.
"I told you that I would." Natasha laughed, patting her back before letting go. "Did you have fun?"
"Yes!" Lainey nodded emphatically. "Cooper let me drive his toy car and I cooked with Lila and Mrs. Barton. We made brownies and we even saved you some!"
"You did? That was very nice of you." Natasha indulged her. "What else did you do?"
"I played football and Mr. Barton let me play with the chickens."
That had actually been Lainey's very favorite part of staying on the farm. She had never seen a real chicken before, so when Clint told her that she could play with them, she was over the moon. She spent hours sitting by them, talking to them, and feeding them. She was definitely an animal person.
"You played with the chickens?" Natasha's jaw dropped. Clint never let her play with the chickens. Then again, they hated her and pecked at her. That just wasn't something she took lightly, so in order to avoid injuries to the animals, Clint kept Natasha away from them.
"Uh huh!"
"Wow, it sounds like you really did have a good time. I'm glad."
"You're all dressed up." Lainey eyed the skirt suit the redhead was wearing. "How was the meeting?"
"They weren't making much sense, so I walked out on them." Natasha smirked.
"You walked out? Aren't you gonna get in trouble?"
"No." The Russian smirked. "I'll be okay. We came to an understanding."
"Oh."
"I heard you had a little problem a couple of days ago." She broke the ice and came right out with it.
Clint had called her and told her all about the little incident with Cooper and how concerned he was for her wellbeing.
Lainey's face dropped and Natasha almost regretted even mentioning it, but if Lainey was really struggling with something, then they needed to talk about it. It wasn't healthy to bottle these kinds of things up.
"I didn't mean to." The nine year old immediately looked down at her shoes.
"Hey, look at me." Natasha cupped her chin. "I'm not upset. See?" She smiled just to prove her point and ease Lainey's nerves. "I just wanna talk to you. Can we talk?"
"Yeah." If it was just a verbal exchange, then as much as Lainey wanted to just forget the whole thing, she could compromise and meet her halfway.
"Okay. You wanna tell me how it happened?"
"Cooper tried to wake me up and he shook me..."
"Was it the shaking that did it?" Natasha inquired to make it easier on the child.
"No."
"Then what was it, дорогая?"
"His hand was really close to my neck." Lainey hesitated before answering.
"That must've been really scary, huh?"
"Yeah."
"But I bet now you know that there's no reason to be scared and Cooper wasn't trying to hurt you."
"Yeah."
"Want a hug?"
"Yes."
Natasha smiled and bent down, opening her arms for the girl to fall into. When Clint called, he had told her that Lainey seemed to crave more physical affection and attention from her, but she either was afraid or didn't know how to ask for it. So, from now on, she was going to make a better effort to meet the child's needs.
Lainey wrapped her arms around Natasha's neck and rested her chin on the woman's shoulder, enjoying the contact while she could. She didn't feel scared when she was in Natasha's arms. It wasn't like when Cooper tried to wake her up. She felt calm and she felt safe.
"You know." Natasha spoke after about a minute of silence. "If you ever want a hug or you just want to sit with me and cuddle, you don't have to ask."
She had been holding out on much of that kind of stuff because she thought that Lainey was the one who didn't want it. She didn't want to push her into doing anything before she was ready.
Of course, Lainey still received a lot of love and attention from her. It wasn't like she was cold or calculating with the girl. She just kept a little distance between them so that Lainey wouldn't feel cornered by her.
Early on, it had been easier for Lainey to seek physical affection from Steve than Natasha because of her mother. Lainey had been conditioned to believe that women hit and women hurt, and without realizing it, she had created a bit of space between them as well. It was all unintentional, she loved Natasha. But after seeing her flinch a few times when offering a hug, Natasha just waited for Lainey to giver the cues.
But now that they were much more comfortable with one another, they both wanted more. Natasha wanted to be able to scoop Lainey up and hold her for no reason at all, and Lainey wanted to be held.
"I'll hold you for as long as you want."
"Forever?" Came Lainey's very timid reply.
"Only if you'll let me."
"My room!" Lainey zipped inside of the apartment just as soon as the door was unlocked. "My chair!"
They had spent a little time at the Barton's before leaving for home. Natasha couldn't thank the couple enough for taking care of Lainey when she couldn't, but they just nonchalantly waved her off as if it had been nothing.
But it was something to her. She found herself growing very attached to Lainey and at this point in time, she didn't know what she'd do if anything happened to her. She was so grateful that Clint found her when he did or who knows what would've happened.
"My bed!"
Natasha leaned against the doorframe of the room and watched in amusement. She had missed the girl's energy and was glad that she was back home. "If you missed your bed so much, why don't you take a nap?" She joked.
"Naps are for babies." Lainey stuck her tongue out at her.
That was a new development. Their talk must've had some effect on the child, because a few months ago, Lainey wouldn't have dared to do such a thing.
"Oh, and you're not?" Natasha pretended to be confused.
"No!"
"Oh, apologies. I didn't realize you were such a big girl." She winked. "So, where's that list I know you wrote?"
"Oh!" Lainey dug through the pockets of her jeans, finding the piece of looseleaf paper she used to sloppily write down all the things she wanted to do for the day.
But her hands fumbled the folded sheet of paper and it fluttered to the ground.
It was only then that Natasha noticed the blood stains on the child's jeans. She couldn't believe she didn't see it earlier.
"What happened to you?" She asked, rushing over to scoop her up and carry her to bathroom before setting her down on the sink.
"Oh that?" Lainey giggled, which, by the way, did not ease Natasha's concern one bit. "It's nothing, it doesn't even hurt. Mr. Barton fixed it for me and put a bandaid on it and it doesn't even hurt!"
Clint did have a way of painlessly cleaning cuts and scrapes. It was a gift.
"How did you get this?" Natasha rummaged through her medicine cabinet before finding some ointment and new bandaids.
"When I was running. I tripped and I fell on my knees, but it didn't hurt. I've had worse."
It's the 'I've had worse' that really bothered Natasha. Lainey had been raised in such a violent way that when she got regular injuries that would be painful to any other nine year old, she brushed it off and kept it moving.
"Let me see." Natasha didn't really know what to say to that, so she just let it go.
"But it doesn't hurt!" As tough as Lainey was making herself out to be, she really didn't want Natasha to try and redress the scrapes, because there was a possibility that they might sting.
Natasha just cocked an eyebrow before rolling the legs of Lainey's jeans up, removing the used bandaids to see the damage.
They didn't look that bad and were healing nicely, there was really no need for disinfectant. So, she just slathered some of the ointment she was holding onto before covering them up. "All finished."
"Yay!" Lainey slid off the sink and handed her the list. "Can we start now?"
"Yes." Natasha chuckled at the youngster's impatience and took the list from her. "We can start now."
"Hey." Sam greeted as Lainey tiptoed into Steve's hospital room. "Look who's here."
After completing everything on the list she made, and that meant, everything, Lainey asked Natasha if she could see Steve. Selfishly, the woman wanted to make up for lost time and keep Lainey all to herself, so she told her she'd take her to the hospital in a few days. That, and she really didn't want her to have to see Steve in less than immaculate condition.
Steve had always been so strong and untouchable in Lainey's eyes and Natasha didn't want this to rattle her.
"Hi." The brunette waved shyly before bumping his fist. "Does it hurt?" She motioned to his eye which was bruised up.
After about half a day of pleading and pouting, Natasha finally relented and let her go to hospital to see him.
Steve was still unconscious, but that didn't matter to Lainey. She wanted to be there so that he wasn't alone. She hadn't expected Sam to be there at all, but was more than happy see him when she walked into the room.
"Nah." He shook his head. "Not even a little."
"Did you ever find out who the Winter Soldier is?" Lainey asked, still thinking about how the man had the chance to hurt her, but actively chose not to.
She hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. What had been so special about her that the Winter Soldier himself just walked away from her and left her unharmed? He had the opportunity to hurt her and she was the perfect target, but instead, he walked away. There had to've been a reason.
And who was he anyway? Was it someone she knew? Was it someone anyone knew?
"Yeah, Steve's old friend from the war."
"Bucky?"
Steve told Lainey that Bucky had died falling off of a train back during the war in the forties. How could he be here? Now? And why was he hurting people?
Lainey thought that if she knew who the man was, it would answer her question, but the knowledge of his name only created more.
"Yeah, him. Why?"
"No reason." Lainey shook her head, looking over at the iPhone that had been playing 'Trouble Man' on loop. "What's Going On' is better."
"You just don't understand 'Trouble Man' yet. Come back to me in a few years."
"I'll feel the same way." She was positive she wasn't going to change her mind about this one.
"What's Going On' is better." A new voice interrupted their argument.
Lainey and Sam shared a look of shock. Had Steve just?
"On your left." The man croaked from his bed.
"Uncle Steve!" Lainey grinned.
"Hey, kiddo." He tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. He was in plenty of pain, but Lainey calling him 'Uncle Steve' had lifted his spirits.
It had taken months for him to get her to call him 'Steve', she would only call him 'Mr. Rogers', which always gave Tony a laugh, much to his chagrin. No matter what Steve did, Lainey would only address him formally. He was glad the kid had manners, but living in the same vicinity as someone and having them call you 'Mister' whenever they addressed you wasn't exactly ideal.
Finally, after a trip to the ice cream parlor for some sundaes, Lainey felt comfortable enough to call him by his first name. And honestly, if Steve had known that all it took was him buying her some ice cream, he would've done that right at the start.
But this was different. This was more intimate and more personal. Lainey was letting her guard down a little more by calling him 'Uncle Steve'. She was letting him into her heart.
She was telling him that he was family.
"Tasha, I wanna train." Lainey brought up the subject for the millionth time.
"You wanna train, huh?" Natasha mused, walking hand-in-hand with her was they made their way to the cemetery.
To be fair, she had definitely thought of letting Lainey train a couple times a week, but she hadn't really taken any steps in making it happen.
She really just wanted Lainey to enjoy being a child. It was something Natasha never got to do and wished that she could have done. But Lainey still had the opportunity to do so.
"Yeah, like you. Can I?"
Like you.
Why did this kid want to be like her so badly? She wasn't anything special and she certainly wasn't a role model. There were so many great women out there that Lainey could look up to, but she just kept focusing on Natasha.
"We'll see."
"Please?" Lainey hopped up and down before batting her eyes at the woman.
A tactic that did not, and would never work. But Natasha had to admit, it was really cute.
"I'll think about it. Maybe when you're a little bit older." Okay, so maybe it did work after all.
"That means 'no'." Lainey pouted.
"Hey, that's not what I said, милая." Natasha amended. "I just think that you've been through enough already and you should just take this time to find things that you really like to do. Just bear with me, okay? I'm trying."
"Okay."
Lainey didn't really want to accept the answer, but maybe Natasha would come around. She did say that she was trying. That was better than nothing. But the nine year old felt like she needed to start training soon, no matter what Natasha said. Going too long without sharpening her skills was only going to hurt her in the long run. It would make her weak and open for an attack.
Maybe she could train by herself to stay in shape.
"You should be honored." The redhead spoke again when they reached Sam and Steve once the two men had finished their conversation with Fury."That's about as close as he gets to saying thank you."
Natasha had taken Lainey to see Nick once she was given the okay and the girl, as promised, cashed in on the opportunity to drive him nuts. But Fury had to admit, he had missed her spunk and was glad for the visit.
"Not going with him?" Steve asked.
"No."
"Not staying here?"
"I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one."
"That might take a while."
"I'm counting on it." She smiled. "That thing you asked for, I called in a few favors from Kiev." She handed him a thick file with a single string keeping it closed. "Will you do me a favor? Call that nurse?"
"She's not a nurse."
"And you're not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."
"What was her name again?"
"Sharon. She's nice." The Russian moved forward and kissed his cheek. "Be careful, Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread."
Sharon was really nice. Lainey had met her a few times when Fury was 'stuck' on babysitting duty and she really liked her. She would be perfect for Steve.
The blonde just shot Natasha an amused smile and shook his head. He still didn't feel like he was ready for a relationship, but he couldn't help but appreciate her concern for his wellbeing.
"I'll see you soon, Honey." He placed a gentle hand on Lainey's head.
He was going to miss seeing that little ball of energy every single day, but now that he knew Bucky was still alive, he wanted to go out and find him. He'd see Lainey again soon. He wasn't about to give up his status as an uncle by never being around.
"Bye, Uncle Steve." She hugged the large man around his waist before following Natasha, latching onto her hand once again.
She wondered what was in the folder and why it had everyone so rattled. What kind of information was in there? Was it dangerous? Was it an uncovered secret?
She'd probably never even find out.
Or so she thought.