First argument
“Peter, stop!” Tony tries to keep his cool, but it’s hard when his patience is running low and the situation doesn’t get better. “I said – Peter! Now!”
“No!” Peter screams back, throwing another toy to the ground.
The pile of toys, instead of getting smaller, it’s getting bigger. It’s time to go to bed, Peter should already be having dinner and Tony has a plate of hot lasagna, now probably cold, on the counter. Usually, night time it’s not a problem with Peter. He’s a well-behaved boy, doesn’t talk back and certainly doesn’t say no when Tony tells him to do something.
Until now, it seems.
Tony picks up the toy Peter has jus thrown, the last one, and puts it close to his son’s lap. It’s ridiculous the amount of toys Peter has managed to get out in a few hours. Most of the times, he uses Legos or puzzles appropriate for a 4-year-old kid. But today, he has decided he wanted to use every toy he owns. Right now. Before dinner time. And he doesn’t want to pick them up.
“Peter, I’m not repeating myself. It’s time to pick up. We’re having dinner and then you’re going to bed” Tony breathes through his nose. Peter’s face gets redder, until he’s sure his kid is about to pop out a vein. “Come on, pick up your toys. Now”
“No! No, no, no! I don’t wanna!”
And then, Peter does something Tony didn’t think he would ever do. He picks up his nearest toy, a red car, and throws it at Tony. It doesn’t actually hurt, but it hits him straight in the face, as he’s kneeling in front of Peter. Of course, Peter doesn’t have enough strength to make any real harm, yet it’s not a great feeling. The car falls to the ground and Tony looks at Peter.
His son’s eyes are opened wide, and his mouth is hanging open, as if he can’t believe what has just happened. That only angers Tony more. Because he’s tired, he has never had to deal with a tantrum before and Peter is not making it any easier.
“Daddy” Peter whispers softly, his eyes quickly filling with tears.
“That’s enough. That’s – we don’t hit people. And throwing things at people is like hitting them. You’re being bad right now, Peter!” Tony scoffs, picking up the toys himself with harsh movements. Peter, finally, tries to pick them up too and throw them into the toy box, but his father quickly snatches them out of his arms.
That’s not the right thing to do, and he’s not behaving like the adult. Even if Tony knows that, he can’t help but feel like doing so. He gives Peter everything he needs and wants, always goes out of his way so that his kid can be happy, and lets him play until dinner time. And now, he throws a train to his face.
Peter starts crying the fourth time Tony takes a toy out of his hands, and by the time he realizes Tony isn’t letting him pick anything up, he goes full sobbing mode. It makes Tony feel hesitant for a second; then, he sees the red car and throws the last toys to the box with the same strength.
“Now you’re crying? No, you can’t cry. You did something bad. Get up” Tony tells him, once the toys are on the box and Peter keeps crying, sitting in the middle of the room. “Come on, don’t make me say it again. Get up, we’re having dinner and you’re going to bed. No book and no TV. Food and straight to the bed. Peter, get up!”
“Da-d-daddy” Peter hitches between sobs, not moving from his place.
“Okay, you don’t want to move? That’s fine. Then no dinner either!” Tony moves away from him, making Peter cry harder and try to grip his pant leg. “Goodnight!”
He closes the door behind him, hearing Peter crying and screaming on the floor. Once he’s in the hallway, he lets the air go.
It’s not easy to raise a kid alone. Peter’s mother decided to give him up for adoption, and Tony decided to take him before it could happen. For four years, it has been him and Peter against the world. They didn’t argue, didn’t fight, and Tony didn’t have to tell Peter off. Now, he wishes there was someone else by his side, to tell him the right thing to do.
Peter never raises his voice, never fights Tony. That’s why it takes him a while to calm down and reason with himself. He’s the adult, Peter is the kid, and he’s allowed to throw tantrums and be angry. Memories of Howard doing the exact same thing he has just down come to his mind, and he feels gross in his own skin. Maybe his father would have accompanied the argument with a hard slap. But he remembers the feeling of being left in the room alone, of feeling that no one understands you.
His son is still too young to feel so; it doesn’t make him feel any better.
It takes him thirty minutes of pacing down the hallway, the kitchen and the living room to finally do something, and by then, he can’t hear Peter’s crying anymore. He thinks the kid has gone to sleep, has cried himself to exhaustion or gone to bed. Tony goes to check, because he can’t stand the thought of Peter going to bed thinking his father is mad at him. He needs to have dinner, to listen to a story before sleeping, and to have a hug from him.
When he opens the door, the light is still on. Peter is no longer on the floor, but hiding under the covers with his pajama top backwards. The only thing Tony can see, though, are the tears, still falling from his eyes. Peter notices Tony when he opens the door, and those red, glossy eyes quickly fill again with tears.
“Daddy” Peter whines, moving quickly to get out of bed. Tony moves faster, and is by his bed when Peter pushes the covers off him. “Daddy, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m – I’m – I didn’ wanna – and… and I…”
“Shh, baby. It’s okay. I’m sorry too” he picks the boy up, letting him wrap his arms and legs around his body, and soak his t-shirt with tears and snot. “I know you didn’t mean to throw the toy. I forgive you, okay? I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have yelled”
“Daddy”
Peter’s vocabulary is awfully wide. He talks like a mini adult, and loves to learn new words and use them in any situation. But tonight, ‘daddy’ seems to be the only word he wants to say. Tony hugs him closes and bounces him up and down, the same way he used to do when he was a baby. Peter doesn’t complain, he hugs his father and lets the tear dry.
Eventually, he falls asleep before he can have dinner. Tony decides they can skip it just today, and carries Peter with him to the bed. That night, as he holds his son close to his chest, he promises himself Howard will never again look so similar to him.