Potty training
Please don’t stare please don’t stare please do anything but –
“Hey there, Pete Pie” Tony sighs, locking eyes with his son. “You wouldn’t know anything about the concept of privacy, right? No? Ring any bell? Of course not, you clingy, poop nugget”
Peter smiles at his father’s words, but doesn’t say anything. That would mean tearing his eyes away from his father, and he can’t afford that in a situation like this. Tony, knowing it will be a while until they’re done, rests his elbows on his thighs and breathes deeply.
It was him who insisted that Peter should be potty trained before he was two, even if he kept wearing diapers. And it was also him who taught Peter how to sit still in the potty, and who encouraged him to do his necessities there.
Now, it’s hitting him back right in the face. Because there’s nothing Peter loves more than copying his father. Eating at the same time he picks up the fork, playing with the phone when he’s on a call, drawing facial hair on his own baby cheeks. When it comes to going to the bathroom, it looks like Peter has the same copying behavior. He needs Tony to sit in the bathroom with his pants and underwear down, right in front of him, and take a shit at the exact same time he does.
Meanwhile, staring right into Tony’s soul.
“Are you… done?” Tony asks after a while, feeling his own butt getting cold from sitting on the toilet for so long.
“No. Potty, dada” he explains, and says some other words that doesn’t have any meaning.
Tony doesn’t really need to go to the toilet, so he does something that has proven to have the same effect. As long as Peter hears the sound of something going into the toilet, everything is fine. So, discreetly, he picks a ball and throws it into the bucket he has just behind the toilet – only for this purpose. It has water in it, which makes the trick.
“Potty?” Peter asks, as if he’s not convince that’s the sound he’s supposed to make.
“Yes, Peter. Potty. Right now, while staring right into my soul. Come on, you can do it. Don’t make me stay here forever” Tony begs, and to make it more real, he squeezes his features and makes a grimace. He throws another small ball.
“Potty” he declares
Peter squeezes his face the same way Tony does, and actually goes. Once he has started, he has no problem to keep going. He still stares at Tony and babbles sometimes, and the man throws two more balls just in case.
Once he’s sure his baby has finished, he gets up and wipes him. Peter tries to help as much as he can, pulling from Tony’s pants the same way his father pulls at his. When they’re done, they flush the toilet and clean the potty. Tony carries Peter out of the bathroom.
“What you do right there – that’s creepy. I only allow it because you’re cute and diapers are expensive. But don’t do that to anyone else, alright?” Tony explains. “Privacy, Pete. People usually like the privacy, and you shouldn’t invade that, even if you’re an adorable poop nugget”
“Poop”
Tony chuckles as Peter grins too, copying his father’s smile.