Fuck, the doggie
“It’s not funny” Tony scoffs under his breath, as Rhodey lets a few tears spill from how hard he’s laughing. “It’s not – stop laughing! You know how hard it’s gonna be take him out for a walk? Or – or what about when Pepper meets him? I need to put someone on my will. What a nice, short life of mine”
“You’re exaggerating” Rhodey tries to reassure him, but he has to cover his mouth to stop his laughs. “He’s gonna grow out of –“
“Fuck! Fuck!”
The puppy barks excited at Peter, who is sitting on the couch while throwing a ball to his new pet. An adorable, white dog that Tony has adopted recently, because Peter deserves everything Tony can give him and the man is willing to spoil him rotten. The dog is as tiny as Peter, who has instantly decided that the animal is his new favorite person in the world.
Not even Tony can take up that spot anymore.
And the father isn’t worried at all, because watching his son play with an adorable animal while being just as adorable as the puppy is enough reward. The only problem, is the name Peter, who is barely talking at two, has chosen for the dog.
“Fuck, ball! Fuck!” Peter repeats, giggling excitedly everytime the dog looks at him or runs for the ball.
“Baby, please” Tony tries to reason with him for the tenth time. “We could name him Dobby, hm? Or Chase, like paw patrol”
“Daddy, fuck!” his son says stubbornly, giving him a small pout. “You fuck!”
In his baby brain, fuck is a normal world, as Tony has spent his whole childhood repeating the word again and again around Peter. Everyone around him has warned him about it – that babies repeat everything they hear, even those words you don’t want them to hear. And Tony knows his son well enough to know there’s no coming back from the dog naming.
Peter stretches his arms towards Tony and pouts again, so he picks him up. In his lap, Peter looks like the innocent baby Tony knows his son is. No matter how much loves the dog – cuddles with his father and hugs are his favorite thing in the world. For a moment, Tony even forgets about the dog’s name, as he lays down next to his feet. Probably as tired as Peter.
Rhodey finally shuts up and lets the small family has their peace. And Tony does the thing he loves the most; bringing Peter close to his chest, noticing his son clinging to him like a koala, and pressing a kiss to his forehead. There are brown, wild curls that tickle his neck, and Peter’s t-shirt is still stained with that morning’s breakfast.
But it’s just fine with Tony, who feels relaxing for the first time that day.
“Who’s that cutie?” an excited voice breaks the silence a minute later, and Peter is no longer sleepy or clingy. He jumps into his father lap to see Pepper, digging pointy knees on his stomach. “You’ve got a new friend, Pete?”
“Aunty Pep! Doggy! Doggy!” he explains, pointing to the dog and moving in Tony’s lap.
“I see that” Pepper smiles, and Tony doesn’t have time to warn her before she asks. “What name have you chosen?”
“Fuck!”
The dog, who is very happy with his new name, raises his head and barks at Peter, which makes Pepper’s smile drop. Tony has barely time enough to flash her an apologetic smile before her glare fixes on him. Peter naming his new pet Fuck is about to become irrelevant in favor of Pepper’s talk with him.
What a day.