Exile

“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way, his breaths came, and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” —Madeline Miller

The Asset knew that he should leave, but he had broken the doorknob.  No matter how he tried, he could not fix it. It is always easy to break something; after all, everything is made to be broken. It is never easy to fix something, after all, nothing is put back together without cracks and scars. 

How could he fix a doorknob? He did not even know how to fix himself. He should leave. But a door was like armor. Without that protection, the Omega was at great risk. He looked so small in his nest, so breakable…

“A good Alpha protects those who are weaker than he,” a woman’s voice whispered in his mind.

Hydra had not allowed him to protect. He had not been able to protect the innocents he’d been forced to kill. He had not been able to protect the girls he’d been forced to train. But Hydra did not control him anymore. So, he would protect this strange Omega and his pup. Leaning against the door, he sat outside of the Omega's apartment.

He’d dreamed of her before. She had dark brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes like a sky that went on forever. He remembered she smelled like cotton and sugar cookies. He didn’t know her name, but somehow, he knew her.

“I am so disappointed in you, James.” Her voice was soft but sad. 

His eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Mama.”

“Sorry isn’t always enough.” She sighed. “What you did was wrong.”

“But I didn’t mean to get in a fight! Promise!”

“You don’t accidentally get in a fight!” She frowned. “What happened? What was so bad you couldn’t solve it without fists?” 

James didn’t know how to articulate himself. He didn’t know how to explain that he had intended to walk away, but Karl Ritten had said something too horrible to repeat.

“We’ll talk about this some more when your father gets home.” She pressed a kiss atop his head. “Go play with your sister.”

The Asset woke with a start. He assessed the situation looking for whatever was wrong, and that’s when he heard the baby’s crying. Hydra had not allowed the Asset to care. He fought against his instincts that screamed for something he didn’t understand. It was not his pup. Its oma would wake and comfort it.

Only Steve was exhausted, and he did not wake, and the baby continued to cry.

“Go help your sister.”

Cautiously, the Asset crept into the apartment and over to the crib. 

The baby looked up at him with eyes filled with tears.

He did not remember holding babies, but somehow, he knew exactly how to hold her. Wrapping a blanket around her, he sat on the couch and tried to remember the last time he’d been this close to another human being. 

Silence lay languidly upon Steve's small apartment. Blearily, Steve tried to make out the numbers on his clock. It was 7:00 a.m. Jumping out of bed, he collided into the wall. “Ow!” He limped over to Peggy’s crib. He was surprised she hadn’t woken him yet—

The crib was empty!

Steve tried to fight against his panic and think clearly, but ever since her birth, he’d been terrified of losing her... Wheezing, he looked around the apartment and stopped short at the sight of James sitting on the couch holding Peggy. 

“What! Why’re you here?” Steve croaked. 

“I was guarding the door,” James explained. 

Steve didn’t understand, but then he noticed that the doorknob was crushed. How on earth did that happen?

“I couldn’t leave you unprotected,” James said softly. “I only came in because she was crying.”

Steve didn’t know what to say; he wasn’t used to anyone protecting him... “S-She’s probably hungry.”

James tried to set her in his arms, but Peggy’s small hand curled around James’ shirt. 

“Guess she's content,” Steve said, his heart twisting with jealousy. But watching them, Steve realized that Peggy had never had affection from her Alpha. Pups needed their Alphas just as much as their Omegas.

James wasn’t her father, and most Alphas would struggle with their instincts to accept a pup that wasn’t theirs. And yet, James only saw a pup in distress. He didn’t care who her Alpha was. He stepped up because it was the right thing to do. Why couldn’t Peggy’s father be James? How could a complete stranger care about her more than her own father?

“Thank you for everything,” Steves’ voice was soft. He wasn’t used to being taken care of; he didn’t know what to make of it.

James smiled. His smile was strained as if he had not smiled in years. 

“I’ll get her bottle made and some breakfast for us,” Steve said. He was relieved that it was his day off. If it had been any other day, he would have been late to work. He couldn’t afford to give Tony another reason to cut his salary again. 

Sighing, Steve focused on food. He warmed up Peggy’s bottle and started mixing up pancake batter. 

“She is a very good baby,” James said. 

Steve smiled as he handed James her bottle. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

***

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