Home is where the heart is
Five days later you are at a bar in London, sitting at a table, a hand under your chin supporting the weight of your head, you only hope it was this easy to support the weight of your thoughts. The air is filled with upbeat music, cigarette smoke, and the sweet smell of ale, but too much has happened for you to enjoy the short moment of peace.
The sound of someone grabbing the chair in front of you wakes you from the daydream, Bucky pushes a glass of beer at you and takes a sip of his glass while staring directly into your eyes. You grab the glass with a half smile and sip the amber liquid. “A penny for your thoughts'' he smiles and grabs your hand “Got a minute?” your half smile turns into a vitriolic one “For you dear? The whole eternity” His smile is tender and reassuring, filled with all the brotherly love he has for you.
In that second you feel at home, for the first time since you packed your small bag and left youparent'ss' house in the middle of the night, you feel safe, loved, and cared for. And at that moment the internal dam breaks. Every feeling you’ve been holding down, every tear you’ve kept to yourself comes crashing down, like a flooding river you can’t contain the words.
You tell him everything he didn’t know, about Wilson and Jhonson, how you rescued her and injured him, and being in jail until Peggy and Phillips showed up. You tell him about recruiting Stark and why you presented Steve to Erskine. The first time you met Zola and the research of the journal. By the time you reach the part of the basement and the family who took you in, Bucky is sitting next to you, holding you tight while the tears run freely down your cheek.
“A few days later Howard found me and brought me here, I spent a week in the hospital, replaying everything that happened, thinking…” Bucky hugs you tighter and caresses your hair “Thinking somehow it was my fault, the trap, the deads, everything” Your sobs is uncontrollable and you can’t say anything else. He grabs your head between his hands, kisses you on the forehead, and speaks directly into your eyes “No Victoria, I won't allow you to think that any dead on this stupid war is somehow your fault, if you want to blame someone, blame the power hungry monsters who put brothers against each other; the ones who think that a group of people has more value than the other; those who think that a woman is less, just because is a woman, not you pretty girl”
You throw your arms around him one more time and he keeps talking “You are my sweet Victoria, the one who stands up for a friend; who lights up the room every time she enters; the one who can't cook an egg even to save her life, or calls me James when is mad'' Against his chest you start to chuckle and raise your head, he moves a few strands of hair from your face and smiles “There you are, pretty girl. All this will end and…” Someone coffs gently from behind and you both turn your heads to look at Peggy, she has a small smile until she sees you.
“Are you alright Victoria?” concern painted on her face “Yes Peggs, I was catching up with my cousin and got a little emotional” You turn to look at Bucky who is giving Peggy an appraisal look, you roll your eyes internally “Peggy Carter, meet James “Bucky” Barnes, my cousin” He gets up quickly to greet her with one of his flashy smiles “Very nice to meet you, Peggy. Would you like to dance?” Peggy looks at him and says drily “It’s Agent Carter for you, and no I’m expecting someone” You almost choke trying to hold back your laughter, but you fail miserably. Bucky gives you a dead look and you raise your hands in surrender “Sorry, I…I have to go to the toilet to freshen up” you quickly leave, leaving behind a surprised Bucky and a slightly annoyed Peggy.
You come back a few minutes later, Steve has joined the group and is having an animated conversation with Peggy both are lost in their world. Bucky is sitting in his chair, miserably finishing his beer. Although the scene is somehow funny, usually Bucky gets all the attention from the girls and Steve gets set aside, you can't help but feel a little sad and quite jealous, after all, it was you who, in the past, got the undivided attention from Steve.
“Can I get anyone another round?” The truth is you don’t want to sit and watch Steve go all dovey eyes for Peggy. Steve comes out of his seven heavens and a look of realization strikes him “Oh! I forgot the drinks for the boys, Peggy, do you want to come with me?” He looks like an excited puppy around her and she blushes a fiery shade of red. As they walk away together you realize, there’s nothing for you to do, they’re in love. You’ve never said anything and now it’s too late.
You drop on your chair looking defeated “Why the long face Bucky?” He raises his eyes “It finally happened” You look at him not understanding “What happened?” “I’ve become old Steve, the girl did not even look at me when you left” He pouts. You laugh hard and wholeheartedly he’s so serious that’s hilarious “You…you can’t…can’t be serious Buck” after a few seconds he bursts out laughing with you.
Steve comes with another round of beers as you wipe the laughter tears off your cheeks "What's so funny?" He asks with a smile "Nothing really, just my cousin teasing me" Bucky brushes off the question and looks at you begging not to say anything. So, you divert the subject "And, what did the boys say? Did they agree?"
"Yes, they did...on the condition that I open a tab here" Bucky smiles "I've told you they're crazy enough to follow Captain America to the gates of hell" Steve sits in front of you with a less than confident smile "And you? Will you two follow Captain America? You and Bucky turn to look at each other, then turn again to look at Steve "Of course not!" You say in unison.
Steve's face changes to a look of disappointment mixed with relief until Bucky puts his hand on Steve's shoulder and smiles "But we'll follow our best friend" You mimic Bucky's actions "Together, always!"
"But we do have a condition too" You smile wickedly at Bucky and he knows instantly what you're thinking and how to finish your sentence "You have to keep the suit!" A playful smile dances on Steve’s lips “You two will be the death of me” he sentences.
The joyful music and mild humming of the voices stop, and a sense of expectation lingers in the air. "Is this on?" you hear the cheerful voice through a...is that a microphone? A gentle tap confirms it 'Why would anyone bring a microphone to a place like this?' You wonder to yourself.
Someone starts to gently play the piano on the back, the rhythm quickly increasing and a soft male voice starts to sing...
"Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak"
You're not quite sure, but you're willing to bet on the owner of the voice...
"And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together, dancing cheek to cheek"
Bucky pushes you forward, curious to see the show, and you reluctantly move along, Steve trailing behind.
"Heaven, I'm in heaven
And the cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together, dancing cheek to cheek"
As soon as you enter the room your whole body stiffens in place, and you feel Steven freeze next to you, the man keeps singing...
"Oh, I love to climb a mountain
And to reach the highest peak
But it doesn't thrill me half as much...
..."As dancing cheek to cheek," Everyone gathered at the pub sings the verse along, and your face is getting redder by the second. Bucky's eyes move from the singer to you and back, as following a tennis match, and his jaw is nearly touching the floor...
The whole room is up now singing...
"Oh, I love to go out fishing
In a river or a creek
But I don't enjoy it half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek"
He gets off the makeshift stage he's been standing on and walks toward you with loving eyes, you try to divert your gaze but fail miserably. In a few quick steps, he's in front of you...
"Dance with me! I want my arms about”, He extends his arm and holds your hand...
"Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak" He makes you turn around and you catch a glimpse of Bucky's eyes coming out of his sockets.
"And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together, dancing cheek to cheek" He kneels after the last verse, puts a gentle kiss on the back of your hand, and smiles "Will you marry me?"
Steve is stiff as a board on one side, on the other your cousin can't hold his laughter for much longer. You pinch the bridge of your nose, anger building up inside "Howard, how many times you're going to do this? Stop asking me to marry you!"
He stands up "As many times as I need until you say yes, beautiful" his eyes are fixed on yours. He leans in softly, his lips hovering over yours. You can smell his cologne, something citrusy and expensive, it's intoxicating. You can feel his breath as he comes even closer, and your lips are swelling with anticipation. Just as his lips are about to touch yours..."Ejem!" A loud cough breaks the spell and you see Steve looking at you with disapproval. You scramble an apology and leave the place as quickly as you can with Howard chasing you.
"Why did you do that?" Bucky glares at Steve "The man is a player, I have to take care of her" He responds "We both know that Victoria is more than capable of taking care of herself, and he has helped her several times" Steve shrugs and walks up to Peggy for a dance, leaving Bucky confused.