“December 24th, 9pm, Eastern Standard Time, from here on in I shoot without a script, see if anything comes of it.”
“Dude, it’s June!”
Wade turned around, arms still spread out front in a flourish, to see who was so rudely interrupting his singing.
“Spidey!” he cried out in joy and then scoffed.
“Wait, you don’t know RENT? I thought you were smart, now you’re telling me you don’t even know an iconic part of cultural history? Especially for broke hipster, like yourself.”
[Considering recent developments, isn’t that also just wildly disrespectful to lil old musical genius Jon? How you gonna get paid for being him and then not even listen to his most famous work?], White chimed in, mildly offended.
Luckily, before both Wade and Yellow could join in with a complicated argument about method acting, researching roles and the possible benefits of simply not ever listening to RENT, Spiderman responded.
“We’re not gonna pay rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, reeeeent.. Yeah, no, I’m familiar, a lyrical masterpiece, clearly. I just don’t see any reason for you to be singing it alone on a rooftop when there are plenty better soundtracks to choose from.” Spidey shrugged casually and sat down on the ledge of the building, feet dangling. Wade joined him and pouted. After a second though he shook himself out of it, the boxes conceding that Spidey had a point.
“Well, now that you’re here I have plenty of new inspiration! How about Can You Feel The Love Tonight? I also do a rousing rendition of Spring Awakening’s Touch Me. I’d even throw in a Helpless just for you, baby boy.” He let his shoulder purposely brush against Spidey’s and gave him an exaggerated wink through the mask that drew a soft chuckle from the webhead.
(You know, we should take him some time. You know his broke ass can’t afford Hamilton tickets.) Yellow suggested.
[Doesn’t he know Lin personally now?]
“Not in this universe, guys.” Wade interjected and turned back to Spidey. He was going to continue the conversation, enjoying their typical bit of banter, but another thought popped up. “Wait, if I know all these things, how come I don’t know his identity in this? Are you guys keeping his face from me?” he asked the boxes, offended at the thought.
Spidey chuckled again. “Pretty sure I’m the one keeping my identity from you, Wade.” Wade grimaced and waved a hand vaguely through the air.
“Of course, babes, but also no. Yes,but not in that way, you know.”
“I don’t think I do, Wade. Is it important? I really need some food in me soon and I saw a falafel stand two blocks over.” Wade visibly perked up at that and even the boxes started …salivating? Expressing hungry onomatopoeic words? Wade stood swiftly and reached a hand out to Spidey to pull him up as well.
“It is not important at all, sweetcheeks, could not matter less, as long as the reader continues to ignore it.” [;)] (Shut the fuck up, White) {come on, we gotta engage the audience!]
“Okay, enough of the bullshit you two fuckfaces. Spidey, love of my life, lead the way to paradise!” He threw his arms out in a grand gesture and even twirled at the end, he couldn’t help himself. Spidey’s grin was visible under the mask, which Wade always took as a personal challenge to be even more ridiculous than usual so it would widen even more.
With a few well placed webs, Spiderman was on his way and Wade scrambled across roofs and fire escapes trying to catch up. They did this way too often, considering Spidey always had to wait a considerate amount of time for him at their destination, but it was fun. And slowly, very extremely slowly, Wade was getting better at jumping roofs. He should get one of those Go Pros strapped to his forehead and make parkour videos. The first time they did their little race, Wade ended up splashed across some trash cans and Spidey had lost his appetite as a result. Luckily for both of them, Wade was more successful this time. And even better, Spidey had already ordered for him.
“Awww, baby boy, you remembered ,my order!” Wade cooed, ruffling Spidey non-existent hair. (I mean, it is existent, just under the mask) [Do we know for sure though? He could be a skinhead under there and we’d never know. Or an old man.] (Ehh.. still hot though.)
Spidey fidgeted a little bit with his hands, but he caught himself quickly, his delivery deadpan.
“Yeah, well, you have to pay.”
Wade slung his arm around Spidey’s lean shoulders and used his other hand to fumble around in the pouches on his belt. He could feel Spidey leaning gently into him and slipped his arm down to his waist, pulling him tighter.
“You already know I love being your sugar daddy, even though I’m really not into financial compensation, I do too much shit to earn this money to then not even spend it on the shit I like.” His hand started to wander lower, purposely obvious so Spidey easily swatted it away before he even came close to his beautiful buns.
Spidey nodded, but retorted: “You’re not getting any sugar either. And keep your hands off the goods!”
With a grin, Wade pulled his hand back up, resting comfortably in Spiderman’s tiny waist. He shrugged.
“Guess I’m just a daddy then.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Spidey laughed and leaned into him a little more, one hand quickly patting Wade on the pecs.
[Hello, Wade.exe are you functioning?]
(The man was too stunned to speak.)
[Yeah, I think they’ve gathered that. Wade, get back out there, you need to pay for your boo.]
With an abrupt shake of his head, Wade carefully entangled himself from the hug and went to pick up their food. He handed over the white plastic bag containing two falafel döners in aluminum foil to Spidey, who quickly webbed up to a nearby roof. Wade groaned as he tried to find a route for himself. Sometimes their game was tiring. Just as he started on the long climb up the fire escape, a familiar sound twhipped in his ears. Spidey had shot a web straight at Wade’s chest and hauled him upwards, Wade helping where he could.
“Thanks for the list, Webs.” He said, plunking down heavily next to him. Spidey handed him one of the aluminum packets. With gentle fingers, Wade unwrapped it to find the hot, juicy, beautifully smelling goodness inside. Next to him, Spidey was already munching on greasy chickpea perfection.
For a while they were both content just to sit there and eat in silence, savoring the good food and the relative calm of the city. Wade’s mind began to drift and he got stuck again on their earlier conversation.
“Spidey, can you sing? Well, obviously you can, but do you?” Webs turned to him and raised an eyebrow? Or maybe both? The articulation of his mask was definitely inferior to Wade’s, so he just kind of saw a bunch of creases and assumed them to be confusion or surprise of some sort.
“What do you mean, obviously I can?”
Wade shrugged and took another big bite, chewing between his words. “Ah, you know; we always ask if people can sing, but anyone who can talk, can sing, just not necessarily good. So let’s go with, do you sing?”
Spidey looked at him for a second, seemingly pondering his statement.
“Yeah, that makes sense actually. And I do sing, but not particularly well and only when I’m alone.” he shrugged a little bit bashful and looked out at the city below.
“Oooh, a Spidey shower serenade!! I would love to witness that someday!” Wade swooned, putting one hand to his cheek dramatically.
Spidey shoved him with a free hand and chuckled drily. “You just wanna see me naked, you perv.”
[He really knows us too well]
(*swoooooooon*)
[Stop doing that, this is not an rp.]
“Of course I’m looking for a chance to peek at that booty. But I would also love a chance to hear that voice you got. A little birdie told me you had, and I quote, the voice of an angel! And I really had to strain to hear that, too, through the fourth wall and all that meta crap and everything. So, really, I deserve a taste just for that alone.”
Wade thought that argument was pretty solid, even if at least half of that wouldn’t mean anything at all to Spidey. Unfortunately, he only received a non-committal yet vaguely amused grunt in return. Alright, new approach.
“Okay, baby boy. I’ll go first. I bet I’ll find a tune you can’t resist to join in with.”
Spidey twisted his mouth in thought for a moment, then tilted his head in challenge and gave the go ahead. Wade was smiling so bright, it made it a little hard to sing.
[We don’t even know what we’re gonna sing though!]
(Something romantic, something, sexy, something grand!)
“You're totally fucked, yeah they mess you up, well you know theyre gonna tryyy….” Wade started in his baritone, brain seemingly still stuck on one of the earlier references. He trailed off and pointed finger guns at Spidey, hoping to tempt him with the blah blah-s.
Spidey gravely shook his head, but grinned up at him. He pulled air in through his teeth in mock disappointment.
“Nice try, but not catchy enough, Another absolute genius lyrical moment though.”
Laughing, Wade racked his brain for his next option, It was game on now.
“Okay, baby boy, what about this: Now that it's raining more than ever
know that we'll still have each other, you can stand under my umbrella, you can stand under my umbrella….” Wade trailed off again, mouth open in a grin, looking expectantly at Spidey. He even pulled out jazz hands to increase the tension. Unfortunately, 6 foot something of hard muscle and dozens of guns demanding something of him, did not faze Spidey in the slightest.
(Damn, he has a good poker face.)
“Maybe he’s just really used to my shit by now.” Wade murmured. Spidey recognized his tone and just ignored the weird comment, used to his inner conversations.
[P-p-p-poker face]
²Nah, we’re not doing that one, Whiteý. I’ve got a good one now.” Wade focused back on Spidey and squared his shoulders. “You ready, Webs?”
The other man nodded, a fond smile playing on his lips. Wade put down his falafel on the floor and braced himself. Wade was a lot of things, but he wasn’t going to put on a half assed show.
“What’s left to say? These prayers ain’t working anymore, every word shot down in flames, what’s left to do with these broken pieces on the floor? I'm losing my voice calling on you…” This time Wade continued to sing, serenading Spidey through the whole song, spinning wildly around the roof and doing his very best to do Celine Dion justice.
(As if we could ever, we’re not worthy.)
[I mean, I get your point, but this is our song. So, we get to butcher it as much as we want.]
(Hmpf. At least Spidey seems to like it, I guess.)
Three minutes and fifteen seconds later, Wade collapsed onto the roof in a heap, lungs heaving and voice strained. Spidey clapped enthusiastically.
“Wow, Wade, that was amazing! Kind of a weird choice to make me sing though, I didn't even know that song.” he said shrugging. Wade clutched his heart dramatically.
“Oh baby, you wound me. Anyway, next song.” He scrambled back up and shoved the rest of his falafel in his mouth. Chewing violently he tried to come up with something Spidey might sing along to.
In the next 15 minutes he tried Empire State Of Mind, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Defying Gravity and Holding Out For A Hero. Spidey didn’t move a vocal chord. Well, he did talk and laugh at Wade’s attempts, but nothing more.
“Are you ever gonna sing for me?” Wade yelled, pouting. He threw his hands up like a child having a tantrum and did his best to look as upset as possible. Spidey laughed but seemingly took pity on him. At least a little bit. Actually. not at all.
With a shit eating grin, he just said. “Nah, not really. Enjoyed the show though.”
“Oooooh, you scoundrel!” Wade cried out, pointing an accusing finger at Spiderman. The other man was laughing still. “Do I have the song for you, tricking me like this.”
He sat down right in front of Spidey, getting right up in his face and singing pettily.
“Look inside, look inside your tiny mind, then look a bit harder” he tapped the head under the blue spandex at this, possibly a bit rougher than necessary.
“Cause we’re so uninspired, so sick and tired, of all the hatred you harbor” Spiderman was grinning at him now, barely keeping from laughing, He clearly had recognized the song.
“So you say, it’s not okay to be gay, well I think you’re just evil” The rest of the second verse was rudely interrupted by Spiderman’s dry “I am literally into dick myself and you know it, Wade.”
Unbothered, Wade moved into the chorus, sticking his middle finger up to Spidey’s face.
“Fuck you, fuck you very very mu-u-u-ch…”
Spidey was full on laughing now, enjoying the show and Wade found it hard to keep singing himself. It felt so nice to just be happy and do stupid shit with him.
And then, when he just started to repeat the chorus a second time, a miracle happened. The gates to heaven opened, angels stared down at them, rose petals fell from the sky, the whole shebang.
Spidey joined in, singing the words right back in Wade’s face with a beautiful clear voice, young but masculine and warm. He was right there, so close to Wade, with that gorgeous voice and undoubtedly gorgeous face under that mask, smiling like that at Wade, because of Wade.It did something to his insides, made him all warm and swirly and gooey. Like Weapon X but pleasant and soft and full of endorphins.
[So not like Weapon X at all.]
No, really not like anything at all he’d known before. Way better, way way better.
And if Wade changed his “Fuck you” to “Love you” in the last chorus, that’s between them and the multiverse.