A Somber Spider and an American walk into a bar...
Zero’s sticky, slimy webs cover Jain from head to puppies. Why is everybody Spiderman now? Natsume, being the original and best Spiderman, is able to shoot harder, better, faster, stronger webs from his skinny, long, unsheathed cock. We knew this was cumming.
Natsume’s durable, impenetrable webs save Jain from Zero’s own measly web shoots and ladders. Zero hacks up blood from the brute omega force of Natsume’s webby webs.
“Mommyyyyy, are you okay?” Natsume hugs Jain. Jain is overwhelm. So many Spidermans. She also just cheated on Natsume again. Her heart goes ra ta ta ta.
Jumin begins flinging out his wrist. It’s just the flick of the wrist but… web malfunction. Jumin is pissed because he is feeling scammed by Ren Jinguji Stark (A/N: This is saxophone man from uta no prince sama. Yes, he is a Stark now. Yes, he is Iron Man) who he bought this supposedly highly advanced Spiderman suit from. Must protect Jain, but no webs.
Jain realizes she must tell Natsume about her indiscretions. She is growing, morally.
Words come out, but it takes time for the air to move through so much breast tissue. “Ahhhh yes. My uhhhh lovely Nyatsume… we need to talk but like uhhh privately.”
Zero is ready to involve himself in the discussion. “Jain, aren’t you engaged to Natsume? And yet, when I walked in you were grinding all up on rich boy Spiderman who can’t even use his webs?”
Jain is pissed off. How dare Zero involve himself in such personal matters? He literally ABANDONED her.
Back in high school, Jain dated Zero. A tale as old as time. Jain and Zero connected on such a high psychological level due to their common past. Ichiru. Ichiru was the first man who ever touched Jain’s areolas which is kinda a big deal. Ichiru moved away immediately after touching titties. Ichiru = worst character.
So when a transfer student from the night school appeared in Glee club, looking identical to Ichiru, Jain went into fight or flight. Turns out, this vampiric mans was actually Zero Kiryu, not Ichiru, but rather identical twin of Ichiru. Like Jain, Zero happened to also be fondled then fled by Ichiru. Very relatable content.
However, shit hit the fan when Zero started acting sus. Man was always out and about writing about Spiderman. He was such a big fanboy when he was literally a vampire which imo is much cooooooler. He come up in your crib. All up in your fridge, can’t pay rent. That was Zero. So Jain, leff him. But really, it was Zero who leff Jain :( bc he was bad boyfriend.
Jumin sneezes, a light “a-chewwww-iiiieeeee” with a light crescendo, drawing out the chew artistically, and brings the story out of flashback mode.
Sensing a demonic sneeze, Tokiya is quick to appear with a “bless you.” Something is in the way, MMMMM. And it’s Syo, wearing a duck costume and doing his signature dance! Tokiya and Syo appear from the moon in Tokiya’s handsome batmobike. Flashing yellow light. Bat light. He is here!
Jumin is disgusted with Tokiya and Syo’s off brand Bat costumes. Don’t they know this is the MCU?
Natsume is overwhelm 2. Snapping back to reality (oh there goes gravity), Natsume begins speech, “Jain… what that vampy Spiderman said… it’s not true… is it?
“My poor little meow meow… my baby my little baby who hurt so much but treats people with such kindness forgive me for not being able to do more.. I tried my best i really did..” Jain(‘s) utters.
Sensing a cat he must defeat, a shielded man breaks through the roof. It’s Captain America, but he’s Korean??? Because it’s Zen!!! (A/N: When Steve Rogers decided he was done, he presented his shield and ALPHA serum to his Korean bestie, Zen while they were still in Korea. The shield operates as a green card. This is why Zen can freely travel to Japanifornia.)
“Where is that damn CAT?” Zen begins sneezing and hacking. The serum may make him an alpha, but right now, his natural omega tendencies are displaying themselves with his sensual sneezes. His omega hormones induce his fertility through the overproduction of estrogen and progesterone. During exposure to an allergen, estrogen can stimulate the production of Th2 cells (A/N: helper T cells type 2) and their IL-4 producing function, which stimulates the production of IgE from B cells and the degranulation of mast cells. Both of these strengthen the inflammatory portion of the immune response, and cause his allergies to act up. The active ingredient in super soldier serum, chemical X, causes the decrease of estrogen levels by direct binding to pituitary gland cells to inhibit the production of follicle stimulating hormone (A/N: FSH). However, as noted in the Godot chapter, the presence of many alphas can decrease the affinity of chemical X for its receptor, as well as stimulate low levels of production of chemical X inhibitory molecules. Therefore, when faced with both a high level of cat dander allergen and Jumin’s alpha hormones, his serum is inefficient in repressing his natural omega responses and allergic reaction.
Elizabeth the 3rd, who has seen far too much, begins hissing at Zen knowing that he is an easy defeat. Zen is crying. Between the tears, Zen feels like he is hallucinating because he sees Jain.
“My jagiyaaaaaaaa Jainnnnn :(.... Help me juseyo. I’m in trouble. Pls pls pls saranghaeeeeeeeee,” Zen begs in oppa.
Zen digs his shield into the ground, mimicking that one time he dug into Ren Jinguji Stark’s armor when they civil-warred. It is no use. Jumin places Elizabeth the 3rd on Zen mwahahahhahahahahhaha.
“J-j-j-jumin please how will the RFA go on if I die. What about Thanos and Zack Snyder’s Justice League? We have to fucking defeat them somehow!!” Zen dramatically pleas.
“Zen, you’re so silly goofy. You have the chemical X molecules from the serum that can prevent death with exposure to your allergy. You’re literally good, my guy,,, wait not my guy… haha jk unless? ” Jain informs.
Upon hearing Jain’s voice, Zen feels the weight of Chris Evans hands wiping snot from his nose. “Pick yourself up, alpha king,” Chris whispers. “And watch your language. I didn’t give that shield and serum, so you could act like an omega and use such foul language.”
Tokiya begins singing “Amazzzzzzzingggggg Graceeeee, how sweeeeet that sounddd. That savedddd a wretchhh-” At this, Zen begins to retch.
Jain applauds. She has once again gotten herself out of a cheating scandal. Or so she thot.
“Are we not gonna address the fact that Jain cheated on Natsume with Jumin? Or that I was secretly Spiderman and so was Jumin? Or who the hell this batman and his extraterrestrial little duck are? Or why Chris Evans just saved Zen - who happens to be Captain America?” Zero stirs the pot ONCE AGAIN.
Jain’s silence is loud.
Elizabeth the 3rd meows.
Jumin is proud.
Syo says “wow.”
Tokiya is not a cow.
Zen allows.
Natsume is not allow.
Jain decides to break the silence
“I apologize for all this violence
Natsume, you’ve been a guidance
But, Jumin gives me that alliance
Sorry for my lack of compliance
I must leave you because science”
(Somewhere else, Kite cumms because the word science was said)
(A/N: My IRL, Jain is so so so so so so sad rn)
Natsume weeps. Weeps Natsume. Jain feels her heart splintering, but she knows that it has to be done. This would be more painful if prolonged. “I’m so sorry, Natsume. I promise, you didn’t do anything wrong. But I hold you in too high a regard to continue to betray you like this. You’re a beautiful soul, Natsume. And I know someone else will see it too, and cherish it more than I ever could.” Jain wipes a single, sultry tear from her eye, and dabs at her titties, which weep as well. She turns away, unable to handle the weight of Natsume’s heart shattering in front of her orbs. She wishes she could sway her boobs and have him forgor that all of this happened, but it is too late.
Her betrayal burns into Natsume, causing him to drop to his knees in pain. He presses his face into his palms, and feels the iCock engagement ring she bought him slip slowly off of his cock, sliding down into his spider suit. “I don’t understand, mommy. Wahhhh.” Natsume looks up at Jain from the ground, his silvery orbs glistening with tears.
She bites her lip and looks away. “There isn’t anything understandable about it, Natsume. There’s nothing I can say to make it hurt less. And there’s nothing I can do to make this fair to you, but I’m trying.” The sincerity in her voice, lined with enough regret and self loathing to fracture his heart even more, causes the message to finally sink in.
Zen recognizes this scene all too well. Jain also cheated on him with Jumin. Back when Zen was first starting his alpha serum, he finally got the alpha acting role of his dreams with Echo girl. This caused jealousy with Jain and an “entanglement” with Jumin happened.
How Zen found out about it was the worst part. When Jain entered Zen’s apartment, he began spraying snot everywhere. “Sneeze sneeze sneeze”, his sneezes sneezed, lacking the classical style that Jumin’s sneezes sneeze. Jain was with a cat. Jain was with Jumin.
Zen was ready to ignore Jain’s entanglement, but Jain moved on to Natsume of all people. But now, Zen has grown. He decides it is finally time to move on at this skyline bar filled with Jagermeister in Korea. (Although Soju is the most popular alcoholic spirit in Korea, Jagermeister is certainly growing an audience there. Jumin is currently working on a way to bring duty-free Jagermeister to Korea. This will undoubtedly be his biggest business venture yet.)
Zen looks down at the weeping Natsume on the floor, and feels a flicker of… something. He realizes that he’s looking down at a picture of himself, all those years ago when Jain left him. Slowly, he sinks down to crouch next to Natsume, and gently rubs circles into his back as he cries. Zen closes his eyes, and the familiar scent of Natsume’s omega hormones brings Zen back to who he used to be, before the fame and the super soldier serum. He remembers how he used to speak, the soothing dialect that hasn’t graced his tongue in years. But he has to try.
“Here ye here ye. I think it’s time for us to move on Nyatsume. Let’s go back to my place. We can watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier together.” Zen comforts Natsume, speaking in the omega tongue. Zen and Natsume walk out hand in hand. They are heartbroken, but are character developing so they can’t be with Jain anymore.
Zero is not about to give up as easily as those two. Tokiya, sensing the writers don’t want to deal with Zero anymore for the time being, decides to use his best weapon. Vengeance. Zero is transported to the moon. Tokiya nods at the remaining two, and scoops up a waddling Syo. He puts him in the booster seat of the batmobike, and begins to rev up his bike. As he pedals in place, the bike starts to levitate, float up out of the ceiling, and shoots back towards the sky. A distant, “waku waku suru ze!” resounds from the moon.
Jain is crying. This evening was so stressful. Her harem has drastically decreased. How sad. Jumin is still here though.
Knowing the right words to say, Jumin speeches, “Jain, that was a lot, but now we can finally be together. Nobody is stopping us. It will be just me, my black card, my cat, and my yacht - which can perform cruise ship functionalities. You can invite your friends to our yacht, so you can recover.”
Jain is still reeling from everything that just happened. But well, Jumin is kinda hot, and a cruise does sound nice.
Noticing that Jain is definitely going to give in, Jumin gives Jain a special promise….
“I’ll also show you a sweet dream next night.”