No Way Home
Light (A/N: not Yagami) filters into the condomless condo, the sound of birds chirping about the previous night’s events a pleasant song to rouse our sleepover guests. It is mourning. RIP to the sleepover arc. Everybody crashed on Jain’s titties. Annoyed, Jain urges everybody to wake tf up. Syghie says zzz, and closes her eyes. Eren refuses because it is still sleepy sleep time. He is a growing boy and needs milk. Lucky for him, Lord Cornelius Springer and Lady Sasha Braus have pulled up in a red Lamborghini with diamond encrusted tires. (A/N: Friendly reminder: Lord Cornelius Springer and Lady Sasha Braus are Eren’s adopted parents).
Lady Sasha Braus delicately toot toot’s the horn in a very expensive way, and Eren rumbles through the cuddle puddle to find his iPad. “Don’t forget to Venmo me for the closet,” he says, before stepping out of the condo.
“Wait,” calls Kite. “You don’t want it back?” The neglected, thoroughly lubricated closet whines after the closet master.
“It’s in a committed relationship with the front door now. I’m not dealing with that.” The door creaks a morning greeting to its lover, and the closet door blushes and creaks shyly in a deep mahogany. And with that, the scent of Jagermeister (cinnamon bark, cloves, ginger root, coriander, bitter orange skin, red sandalwood, ginseng, saffron, coriander, lavender, rose hip, and juniper berries) has left the condo.
Slowly, everyone ambles into the kitchen, following the scent of freshly brewed coffee. Ukyo and Godot are already there, chatting over some legal files. Ukyo looks at the group and sighs with disappointment into his mug, while Godot laughs with disbelief at their state of dishevelment.
“Good afternoon, kittens. I take it you all had a good slumber party?”
Everyone groans, but Ema beams. “It was so much fun! I love having friends. Azuna’s lesbian magical girl powers cured my meningitis!” Everyone turns to Ema, just now realizing that they didn’t have to help her back into her wheelchair.
Ukyo massages his temple. “I’m glad you’re well, Ema. For the rest of you, the coffee should be done brewing soon.”
Godot made a motion that would imply winking with his visor. “It’s one of my personal blends.” The coffee machine toot toot’s, and Godot begins to pour it into an assortment of mugs.
“God fuck, if only we had some lavacious milky poos.” Syghie groans and leans onto the counter.
Everyone’s eye balls are magnetized towards the lead atom bomb of Jain’s mommy milkers.
“Jain… if you would do the honors.”
“Sure,” Jain says agreeably. “What are everyone's coffee orders?”
“Oat milk, please,” asks Kite, a known lactose intolerable.
“Okie.” Jain yeets a titty from the committee of her witty litty britty bra. The nipple is erect and pulsing with energy. “aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” She YELLS!
A beep is heard. The sound of hot liquid being dispensed envelops the room.
Kite takes a sip. “Fascinating. Please let me know if you ever sign those consent forms for your titty research.”
“Alright, who’s next?”
‘
“Can I get uhhhhhh iced caramel macchiato with Starbucks ™ sweet cold foam with lite ice?” asks Sir Cornelius.
“Yeah, just one moment.” Jain pushes, panting, dilating to the circumference of a sizable chunk of ice, and then it spits out of the titty all like a machine gun. Next comes the thick and sweet cream, coming out like Reddiwhip ™into the classic Dairy Queen ™ spiral. Jain even takes the initiative and dips it in some fast cooling chocolate to get that classic crunchy shell over the top of the drink.
“That looks painful!” says Kite, eyes wide with horror and scientific woman-in-stem fascination.
“All in a day's work. Tip food service workers!”
Everyone gives Jain $10, pulling from the Jagermeister fund since Reiner never took their cash, he only took the sex pollen. She continues at an intense speed, whipping and dipping until her entire titty has been squeezed dry - at least for the next 30 minutes. Fortunately, everyone got their drink before the well went dry, yeah boi.
Our OCs know that they have to part, and they share a group hug to heal from the night before.
“We should plan our next hang in the group chat!” exclaims Kite.
“Definitely! Maybe we could like… go on a cruise,” says Jain. “I think I’m going to Korea today?”
“Joie and I have plans too,” says Syghie, grinning conspiratorially at Joie.
Ritsuka and Azuna smile at each other, in a way that makes everyone in the kitchen realize that they invented love so that the rest of the world could fall in it. “We’re going to be pretty busy for a while, as well.” Ritsuka says, slipping her hand into Azuna’s, who plants a kiss on her forehead.
-
Kite takes her mug and sits down on a stool in front of the counter, next to Godot. “So, how was dinner?” she asks, just noticing how fucked out Ukyo looks.
Godot smirks. “It went pretty well. We did a… pretty thorough review of case precedent, didn’t we, Ukyo?” Ukyo scowls and blushes at Godot, who laughs into his coffee.
Kite wrinkles her nose. “That’s more than I needed to know. Ugh.”
Godot looks at her. “And what were you up to last night?.” Kite looks pointedly away, remembering all of the crimes committed.
“Anyways, you mentioned an unusual case yesterday?” Kite asks, stirring Jain’s oat’ed tiddy milk into her coffee. Godot nods.
“There’s been an incident in the courtroom. During a trial yesterday, a golden hallway was discovered that led out of the courtroom, and we found a skeleton.”
Kite winces. “Yikes. Who was it?”
“He hasn’t told us.” Kite rolls her eyes, but Godot continues. “He’s been talking about the weather, and multiverses, and having fingers up his ass, but no name so far.”
Kite looks at him in gay disbelief. “A talking skeleton showed up in court? How would he even put fingers in his ass, if all he has are, like, pelvic bones?”
Godot shrugs. “I think he has some kind of like glowing, blue, ectoplasmic genetalia that allows him to have sex?”
“Huh.” Kite sips her coffee. “What do you want me to do about it?”
“Well, kitty-” Kite chokes on her coffee “- I’d like you to come down and do some type of analysis on him. Biological, chemical, genetic- help us get a read on him, hm?”
Kite grins. “Say less.”
About an hour later, Lord Cornelius Springer and Lady Sasha Braus drop Kite off at the courthouse. The doors whine submissively as she pushes them open. “HHNNNN,” they call out, trying to use their doormega signals to find an alpha door to oil their hinges. She pulls out a notepad, and upon opening it, the front cover of the book begins flapping loudly in response to the doormones, and Kite is forced to discard it, firmly wedging it into the doors hinges. “OO OO OO,” the door and notebook say. Pulling out her phone, which was not sexual, Kite begins her documenation and writes down her findings. Court looks normal. Boring. Radioactivity levels are normal, no temperature fluctuations, no other notable abnormalities.
She moves farther into the hall, beginning to prepare a petri dish to collect samples of the court microflora. Bunsen burner to sterilize her inoculation loop at her side, she follows the caution tape and murmurs of the police [A/N: ACAB] to the hallway Godot mentioned. She monitors the ambient electrical activity as she walks, and suddenly stops in her tracks. Holy shit the EM randomly spiked? Girl help, she types, and the murmurs of the police turn to shouts. Kite sprints down the hallway, her Mary Jains slapping erotically and syncopatedly against the marbled tile of the courtroom. Reaching the hallway, she ignores the officers’ warning and throws open the door, but throws an arm over her face to shield herself from the near blinding light. The golden judgment hall gleamed brilliantly, reflecting the light from a bald, immaculate skull. Kite gasps.
Floating in the hallway, is an iridescent vision of a skeleton. Pale, blue flame coils in his orb sockets, and his cerulean, pilled sweater emits a musky odor (A/N: not elongated musky though, he’s super dead.) Kite feels her hymen stretching as she looks at him (A/N: pwease pwease do not think this reflects the opinions of the IRL person Kite’s OC is based on), drool escaping her mouth as she looks at his sensual, and impossible, form. Awooga, she types in her notes app.
The skeleton looks down into her hazel orbs, and begins to float down to her, his unwashed scent growing stronger. Enraptured, Kite vaguely registers the door to the judgment hall slamming shut behind her, the doors moaning as they were slammed harshly against their frame. The skeleton’s bare, bony dogs (A/N: feet) click across the tile. He extends a bony finger underneath Kite’s chin, her mouth parted in shock, and tilts her head up towards him.
“beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.”
“Do you mind if I write this down,” she says breathlessly. He shrugs, and she types skeleton communicates by beeps. its so hot holy shit.
“Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.” He spontaneously forms blue, ectoplasmic eyebrows to raise one suggestively. Might that be a pun, she wonders?
Perchance, her eyes meet the floor and - Wha???? There, god her witness, is subtitles in pixelated Comic Sans just below their feet. It’s a little hard to make out, granted that she can only see the 2D perspective (perhaps some other dimension-y 3D people might be able to read it more clearly, idk) but she can translate it just fine.
-*hey, have you seen my friend cal? because i haven’t seen-um? get it? calcium?
This immediately snaps Kite out of her state of arousal, because a more powerful wave of needing to engage with puns crashes through her, repairing her hymen. “No, but I’ll let you know if they spine-ally find him.”
“beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.”
*thanks, it was getting kind of bone-ly around here.
“Well, I imagine it’s not getting under your skin.”
“beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep!”
*low blow, kid. i was a human once.
Kite gasps. “I’m so sorry? I didn’t mean to-”
He winks. “beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep!”
*don’t worry. i won’t take it person-ally.
She groans. “That one wasn’t very.. humerus. Who are you, anyways?”
*name’s sans. sans the skeleton. i formed this judgment hall because of some serious crimes that were committed. violations of the cuminary arts, devils manifesting in people’s houses, that sort of thing. you know anything about that?
Kite sweats. “Not in much detail.” Sans looks at her, his blue, flaming gaze piercing into her. The golden light of the hall suddenly feels more harsh and clinical, and Kite relents. “Yeah, I’m very familiar.” The skeleton winks.
*don’t worry, i’m not a cop. but i’ll need some more information later.
“Wait, you don’t want to do this now?”
*nah, i have plans. got some mothers to befriend. but i’ll keep an eyesocket out for you
“Mothers to…” Kite’s eyes widen with shock. She quickly types and he knows MILFS? “Just, uh, asking. How did you. Come into these mothers?”
The skeleton grins. * a woman of taste. here’s a list of all the milfs in your area. meet some mature women, kid.
And with that, he walks into a wall and phases into another layer of reality. Kite looks at the impressively long list of MILFs near her, and feels her hymen begin to weaken again. She grins.
-
“Bye-desu!” Syghie says. “It’s okay, I’m not a weeb if I’m Japanese.”
“Where are we going, Syghie?” asks Joie, floating along about ⅗ inch off the floor.
“Music school, silly! It’s time to… scope out the auditionees ;)” Syghie cackles wickedly.
“I like the sound of that *eye emoji*,” Joie somehow says out loud.
“We can definitely get there faster through the sewers, come on!” Joie beckoned as he Pennywise’d into the sewer.
“Ratatatata,” they scuttled through the sewer lid.
…
“Aaaaand we’re here!” says Joie, pushing up the heavy iron sewer lid with impressive strength, jumping through the hole and wiping their hands on their thighs self-satisfactorily.
Syghie follows him out, and replaced the lid. “Is this…?”
Joie smiles. “Yeah, this is…”
“THE STARISH ACADEMY????” They screech in unison.
“RrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRrrrrrrrRRRRRRrrrrrrLLLLLove!” a thunderous voice echoes through the campus, shaking the cobblestone ground on which the two stood. A husky silhouette leaps across the sky and changes the star, check it out! - challenging the ranks of even Harrison Bergeron, that one guy from that dystopian short story everyone read in middle school, his extensions - perfect! His legs, double jointed yet muscular, the perfect blend of sleek apex predator and untamed beast. Purrrrrr. His hair? A pointy, gel-made formation of red and his eyes? Obscured by the darkest of obsidian shades, what depth hides behind them? Staring into them is akin to gazing into the gravity of a black hole, even light cannot escape them, nor any human lust. What mysteries this man possesses in the pocket of his brown jacket, what secrets tucked away in his breast pocket, or in the center of every white dot of the 20,000 thread count red and white polka dotted tie he has around his neck.. What it would feel like to unravel that tie and have it around your own neck…. Or to just tighten it against his veiny fleshy neck and walk him like the dog he is.
Syghie breaks her hymen again. “Ho. Ly. Shi. Tuh. Who is that sexy beast.”
Joie scratches his chin. “Isn’t that the principal? Shining Saotome? Yeah, people say he’s kind of a dilf, I don’t see it though.”
“I think i need his pee pee in me me.” whispers Syghie.
“Hell yeah brother, I support that endeavor. I’m still gonna go check out the auditions and start my hoe era.” Joie fist bumps Syghie (Complete with explosions) and slinks away so that the pair could begin the hunt for their respective prey.
Joie treads forward, Mary Jains clicking along the academy’s brick paths under the mid-day sun.
“Hmm, where could these auditions be…” he thinks aloud. Suddenly, he notices a gaggle of fruits (derogatory) milling about on the lawn. They all seem to be filled with nervous energy, with some practicing scales and others reading sheet music. The men all have one other thing in common: they are breathtakingly handsome.
However, one yaoi boy catches Joie’s attention above the others. He’s a short king, and he wears an emotionless expression, but somehow he is the most interesting performer there. His neon blue hair is given a blinding, almost metallic glow by the natural light, and it’s also pulled back into a ponytail which Joie thinks is really hot.
Joie can’t help but stare at the shining stranger, his chocolate brown orbs locking in place with the other’s bewitching periwinkles. The man abruptly stops practicing his scales to flash a cheeky smirk to his admirer.
“Come inside for your auditions,” rasps a garbled and staticky voice from the P.A. system. The homosexuals swiftly begin crowding into the building, and Joie is able to blend in pretty well.
The auditions pass by quickly, and while each rainbow-maned musician is more talented than the last, Joie finds himself growing quite bored. “Where could my handsome boi be?” He mutters nervously.
Suddenly, the strikingly beautiful Ai Mikaze appears onstage. A forlorn guitar track plays as he melancholically bops his head to the beat. Joie knows these chords! He’d know them anywhere! Yes, it’s…
“But I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo” Ai croons, looking very much like Robert Pattinson’s Batman. That was it. The rat man decided he would seduce the male manipulator with the power of he/thussy.
After the auditions, Joie prowls around the stage door until he spots his mans.
“Hey,” the mans says coolly. “I couldn’t help but notice how you knew the song I sang for my audition. It’s a really obscure song, I’m surprised you knew it.”
“Yeah, I’m just really unique and esoteric like that. How about we Scott Pilgrim and chill in my attic sometime?” Joie winks.
“How about we American Psycho and chill in your attic… right now?”
“Only if you don’t mind scuttling through the sewers.”
Ai grins. “Don’t worry about that…”
As he trails off, he begins to vibrate steadily and levitate off the ground, his limbs elongating and separating. As his extremities turn into mechanical wings, handles emerge from his back.
“Hold on.” he calls from above, his voice having adopted a wheezing, engine-like quality. Joie has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he’s into it, so he reaches his arms up. Ai elegantly twirls down so Joie can grip his stiff handles, and flies off into the distance with his partner in tow.
Amidst bugs hitting him in the face, one thought is clear in Joie’s mind.
“I am going to s and f him into oblivion.” [A/N: Suck and fuck]
-
“HOOOTY HOOO HOOOO” says the door, ascending in whole steps to form the outline of the octatonic scale. Or, if you’re a jazz-er, the diminished scale.
“Who is it?” says Shining, in Japanglish.
“Just here for my credit check for graduation!” a concealed voice says happily from behind the door.
“We don’t care about that shit, but come in anyway!”
The door edges open (foreshadowing) and reveals a shy Syghie, ribbon in hair, moe in eye.
Shining, shining, tilts his head down, so the slits of his eyes peek over the top of his gray rims. “And who might you be? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around before.”
“I think I might be just the star you’ve been waiting for, Shining-kun,” she purrs, enthralled.
All at once, Syghie takes a dominating stance and releases the strict hold she had on her aura. The many seals placed upon her, she undoes - alas, she is but a willful prisoner to the aura inhibitors that she wears only so that others are not overwhelmed and taken aback by her true self. But now — ….. Now, she has found an equal worthy of her true power. Akin to Kenpachi removing his filthy eyepatch, she roars and with a wave of energy, her OVER 9000 unlimited power is unleashed in an undulating way.
Shining yelps and falls to his knees, shocked by her electric aura. Wait, he pauses, it’s not that bad. It just… feels like a little sting to my skin.
In one swift movement, Syghie puts a Mary Jain right between either of his dark lenses. The sheer force of her middle toe through the leather breaks the glasses into a million pieces. Shining’s back is flat on the floor, with Syghie pressed against him. There, the two finally see eye to eye, their gaze electric.
“Let’s make a supernova out of you, shall we?” Syghie smirks.
Shining is harder than he’s ever been, and somehow, Syghie electric sex hormones augment the veins in his cock. “Yes, yes, YES, AOOOOJOOJOKJOJO” he hollers using his tongue. Everything is wet, hot, sex, red, waves of pleasure - and then, it all stops.
Shining Saotome, sweating, comes back to himself, and blurrily gazes up towards a similarly panting silhouette.
Syghie is out of breath but still has that catty smirk on her face, brushing her bangs out of her way. “Now, this is getting interesting.”
Shining groans when sudden slick intense heat erupts over his lower half. Something… something is different. It feels even much more different than when he has fingered himself down… there before. It is almost easier and more fluid. He feels delicate pianist hands scoop against his bundle of nerves, pressing just where he always meaned them to pressed but never had accomplished before.
“That’s a good taint right there.” Syghie smiles, and then spits down on her own fingers, pumping in and out of – wait, was that a???
“Surprised?” says Syghie, pumping her fingers out of Shining’s brand spanking new pussy. Where his perineum usually would be has now somehow opened up to become a wet orifice, right between his balls and his asshole, already slick with love-making fluid.
“What-what happened?” he stuttered, moaning when she hit his sweet spot again.
“Simple, hon - when I unleashed my aura, it unleashed your true form as well. You acknowledged your true desires and opened yourself up to me - metaphorically and physically. But I’ve never had a partner with such a… stunning reaction.” She pumps her fingers. “You’re so fucking tight around me, Shining. It’s like you were made for my cock.”
“Wh-wha-” starts Shining, confused, before suddenly.
Time.
Stops.
The universe fades away…
the floor, the office chairs, the educational licenses of ProTools and Logic Pro X…
nothing is left but them two, in the mirror hall of their own making.
The light seems to congeal and rotate around Syghie. Somewhere, in the wreckage, her clothes have been discarded, and his clothes are also gone, but Shining cannot even fathom it, and it cannot possibly occur to matter to him, when suddenly - what is happening to her?
She closes her eyes and lets the shine of a thousand stars, the power of a thousand percents of love, envelop her body and concentrate around her core, before expanding faster than the Big Bang in an arc of pure energy. The sheer force of it stuns Shining, and he clenches around her fingers. But then, all of the physical sensation dissipates, all of it, as the glistening light congeals again around her, this time around her front. And then, just then - almost as implausible but undeniable as the creation of the universe itself, all of the pure power in the universe solidifies into one solid mass - a Shining cock glistening with all and none of the colors of the universe at once, manifested for the sole reason of fucking Shining to withing a fraction of consciousness.
And just as the universe and time itself stopped, it suddenly began again. Syghie takes a deep, cleansing breath, then another, and then, in the next breath of a second, thrusts into Shining’s slick, tight hole in one clean movement.
Shining roars. Syghie moves his hands to the top of his stomach, and he can feel the stardust cock pushing into his palms. The thought of it makes his cock even harder, and it is bobbing, kept aloft by the cosmic energy created by the ripples in the space-time continuum left by Syghie’s thrusts. She moans, the heat of the universe before expansion hitting right against her clit, and rocketing her into thigh-shaking sensation. But no, she steels herself - she must remain strong for Shining. He has done so much, being the principal of such a prestigious academy. So much is on his shoulders. What a joy it would be if Syghie could shoulder some of the weight, for only a little while.
“Shining,” she whispers, grasping for a hand.
“Yeah,” he grunts, finding her palm in the middle and holding it tight.
Together, they couple against the ground, and in one penultimate movement, a moment of striking clarity, they reach the breaking point at last. The gravity between them approaches infinity, and then coalesces into zero. The walls cave in around them, but none could be the wiser, as the two collapse into each other - a universe born and disintegrated in a moment.
The only remnants Shining can recall, was the blurry remembrance of Syghie’s silhouette, and the harmony of their panting against the empty canvas of the world crumbling around them.
Shining can’t bring himself to care, if this end is to be his end. “I guess the star that was changed was you, all along…” He thinks he might say out loud, before falling into the void of sleep, Syghie’s sweet fingers still carding through his hair.
-
The evening rolls around, and Jain is actually nervous for once, dogs sweating in her Mary Jains. The only worthy foe of Jain’s happens to be Jumin Han, This is due to the fact that he has the funds to purchase unlimited Jagermeister to back him up. Jumin even blackmails Jain by saying that he could always just buy himself, “bigger and better titties than Jain.” This threat makes Jain very sad. What value does her natural big boobs have if even larger ones could just be bought? Between the heavy honkers and Jagermeister threats, Jain tries to avoid Jumin at all costs. However, tonight she has to see him. He has offered such a fine collection of Jagermeister.
Jagermeister is a beverage that provides unparalleled joy and pleasure. Unfortunately, the college students of the United States have been slowly but surely, not consuming Jagermeister at the levels they once did. Luckily for Jagermeister, it now has a more pristine image due to this magnum opus, “your kisses taste the sweetest with mine.” Jain is looking forward to indulging in such a wonderful mid priced 750 ml bottle(s) of Jagermeister that is priced between $18 and $20 that provides a luxurious feeling that the most expensive bottle of wine could never do.
Jain boards her private flight to Seoul, Korea. The flight was paid by Jumin Han on his black card. Jumin is rich. Rich is Jumin. Money. Jain on the plane is enjoying a chilled, sensual glass of finely produced Jagermeister, a product native to Germany with 35% alcohol. The plane lands before Jain wasn’t finished with her drink, so she decides to store it in her badonkers.
Jain was not ready. She forgor. The plane landed directly at the skyrise bar that Jumin rented out to flex. The bar was filled with … only Jagermeister. Walls and walls filled with such fine liquor. In fact, these Jagermeisters were aged all the way back to 1934, when it was first created. Oh, Jumin… that money is talking.
Jumin is sitting all alone, petting his Elizabeth the 3rd, like an evil villain. Jain shouldn’t be attracted to this former flame, but she has never found him more attractive. She’s been watching Business Proposal lately, and Ahn Hyoseop is really selling that classic Kdrama CEO archetype that makes Jain weak. Not to mention, all of that Jagermeister Jumin provided. Need I say more? I will.
A great way to drink Jagermeister is an ice cold shot. Not stirred. Not shaken. Just frozen. With 56 ingredients, we like to think of it as a cocktail in its own right. (A/N: creds to the Jagermeister website for this one. They are really great, over there. My lovely reader-chans should definitely check out https://www.jagermeister.com/en-US )
“Well, hello my beautiful, bodacious Jain,” Jumin begins, scratching Elizabeth the 3rd’s wittle baby ears uwu.
Jain is struggling to breathe overcome with her sudden attraction to CEO Han. I mean she was once attracted to him before, but she thought she was over it.
Jain first met Jumin when she was working for the RFA, an organization that works to fundraise to free (A/N: my man) Baekhyun (A/N: from EXO) from enlistment. This was an organization Jain could support. During her time in the RFA, she began dating Zen. But after Zen got an alpha serum for his acting role, he started acting weird. He started mass killing spies in elevators, carrying around an ugly shield all the time, and whining about some other girl named “Peggy.”
The affair with Jumin began and ended on a night of far too many Jagermeister’s mules during Jain’s sophomore year of college. [A/N: my lovely reader chans 21+ ;) try this cocktail out. The ingredients are Jagermeister (ofc), ginger beer, cucumbers, lime, and ice]
The sex with Jumin was good. He locked Jain in a cage, and it was kinda kinky. He really just wanted to lock Jain up because he’s crazy. He tied her up, put gadgets on her, and tried to rope her into an arranged marriage to keep her forever. Now, was this toxic? Yes, Jain recognized that. However, she will admit that she had a good time.
Despite her having a great, sensual time, Jain still had morals at this moment in her life, so she decided to break things off with Zen and Jumin. After this whole RFA debacle, Jain met Natsume who accepted her for the “just the thot ways she are” (by ‘we don’t talk about bruno’ mar). Natsume even agreed to help Jain on her journey to free Baekhyun from the military. Natsume was perfect, and he is perfect.
That being said, Jain presently doesn’t have the morals like she used to, and Jumin is looking exquisite with his red velvet suit. He bought the suit at the same store named Dyor that Lord Cornelious Springer and Lady Sasha Braus frequent. Lord Cornelious Springer, Lady Sash Braus, and CEO Han are of a different class.
Okay enough background. It’s drama time.
Jain gallops over to sit down across from Jumin and begins crying! Jumin, not an empath, is confused. To be honest, I am also confused. Juli would understand Jain perfectly though because he is an empath.
“J-j-jumin I just. I don’t know why, but I think you’re what I need right now. I feel terrible for ghosting you after we smashed. You were the 1st guy who didn’t care about me only for my tits. Instead, you cared for me because you wanted to control someone. I really appreciate that about you.”
Jain is finally recognizing that she doesn’t want to be recognized for only her ginormous, Ripley’s Believe It or Not, Guinness World Record breaking breasts. Although, I don’t know if Jumin’s toxicity is truly her best route. In case you didn’t notice, she is currently character developing, reader-chans.
Jumin is happy because Jain’s path to finding herself is currently working in his favor. He plops Elizabeth the 3rd on the floor and beckons Jain’s to come on over to his lap. Jain missed this.
Natsume and Zen (pre serum) were just so submissive. Jumin, on the other hand, likes control. It’s hot. Jain and Jumin’s mouths collide, and the kiss is otherworldly due to the delectable taste of the pride of Wolfenbuttel, Jagermeisters. Their tongues do everything they can to capture every last drop on Jagermeister. Jumin disconnects their lips, a drop of Jagermeistered saliva dripping down to his chin. Jain is quick to lick it up, still whining at the loss of that sweet sucking contact with Jumin’s well-chapsticked lips. Feeling so turned on by Jumin’s dominant CEO position and the aphrodisiac nature of Jagermeister, Jain begins pawing at Jumin’s velvety dress shirt.
“Okay my sweet, succulent Jainy bear,” Jumin begins, a little bit hesitant. “I have a surprise for you if you undo my shirt. Now don’t get mad at me for what lies underneath.”
“Oh Jumin, I could never get mad at you! Is it something for me, daddy?” Jain gets excited, knowing Jumin is one kinky mf. But little does she know what is about to be revealed, after this commercial break…
The RFA is an organization dedicated to fundraising to release Baekhyun from his military duties. Byun Baekhyun is a Taurus born in 1991. He is known for his singing career as a soloist and in groups, EXO and SuperM. Now, Baekhyun has already begun his military service, but we are trying to release him ASAP. Next month we are holding an event, sponsored by Jagermeister where we will donate albums to Ema Hinata. Please join us on 4/20 at 4:20 AM.
“And we’re back!” Chris Mcclain cameos and fades away into the abyss.
Jumin is stripped of his dress shirt by Jain’s greedy paws and what lies beneath leaves her shocked. A dazzling red and blue suit with a spider in the middle adorns Jumin’s chest. What happens next is even more shocking. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s not Jain…
Webs everywhere. Everywhere webs. Natsume is first, breaking through the windows of the glass. He is mad!!
“Jumin Han, what are you doing with my lady? And why are you trying to steal my look. I am the ONLY spider man,” Natsume affirms confidently, losing his omega for a min.
More webs appear in the bar from an unknown source. A white haired, big handed, emo Spiderman also appears. Total Spiderman Count: 3
“Jain, just know there is no way home ;). I’ve missed you,” mystery (spider)man states.
All three Spidermans oscillate in a precession of the equinoxeS, (A/N: they are in a circle) pointing at each other in a weird kinda competition. Who is the GOAT Spiderman, Jumin, Natsume, or Zero? That’s right, the mystery Spiderman is the elusive vampire, Zero.
“Jain I texted you this every night back in high school, so I’ll tell you it again. ‘I’ll also show you a sweet dream next night.’” Zero whispers, catching Jain in his web of lies.