Chapter 14
''Hi.''
Bucky bends forward and meets Sam over the console for a kiss.
''Hey,'' Sam pushes his sunglasses on his head as he watches how Bucky closes the door and puts on his seatbelt. ''how did it go?''
''Good.'' Bucky answers, smiling shyly when he catches Sam's proud expression. ''Do you want to come with me again next week? Lilly wants to discuss my process so far.''
Sam nods. ''Of course. Are you okay with that?''
''Seems like it, seeing as I'm the one who proposed the idea.'' Bucky grins when he sees Sam's face. He rolls his eyes but Sam's not fooling anyone with the way he's smiling.
He lets Sam take his hand to press a kiss against it before he starts the car. ''Fine,'' Sam drives away and places his free hand on Bucky's thigh. ''no need to be a smart-ass about it.''
''I thought you loved my ass.''
Sam squeezes his thigh. ''That's another type of ass we're talking about.''
They drive in comfortable silence for a while. Sam keeps his hand on Bucky's leg as he drives and Bucky rests his own hand on top of Sam's, looking outside to see the world flash by.
They're going to visit Sam's sister and nephews this week in Delacroix for Sam's birthday and Bucky has to admit he's a bit nervous. It's his first time meeting Sam's family so naturally he wants to leave a good first impression. Sam's sister means everything to him and Bucky wants to prove to her that he's good enough for her brother.
He's trying to be, that's for sure.
Tony and Clint teased him the whole time last week when they heard Bucky was meeting Sam's sister, sometimes cracking such lame jokes that they both couldn't breathe with how hard they were laughing. Even Steve joined in sometimes but he also made sure to tell Bucky how happy he was for him.
Bucky knows there's no reason to be nervous. Sam told him a million times already that Sarah will love him simply for making Sam happy but still. He feels the need to prove himself.
Maybe it's because Sarah also knew Brian. She must know about what he did to Sam and Bucky wants to prove he won't ever do such thing. All he wants is for Sam to be happy.
Ever since he started therapy Bucky can clearly see the difference in himself. He's much more relaxed and calm, the need to get angry whenever a minor inconvenience happens almost completely gone.
He knows Sam is getting used to it just like he is. Bucky doesn't only feel like a whole other person but he acts like one, too. Whenever he gets into an argument with Sam he can see his lover is subconsciously waiting for Bucky to flip only to realise that's something he doesn't do anymore. Sam doesn't mean anything wrong by it but Bucky understands his head needs to catch up with the switch in Bucky's behaviour.
Of course he isn't perfect. Therapy helps and he's learning but you can't learn without making mistakes.
There are still plenty of moments where Bucky will fall back into his old behaviour, especially at times when he's feeling tired or emotionally unstable, but he always learns from it.
Sam never holds it against him. He surely is Bucky's rock in his healing process.
The low humming sound of the car makes him a bit sleepy, Sam's hand warm inside his. He's always particularly tired after a session with Lilly, especially when they make good progress. Today is no exception.
They have a long road ahead of them, the drive to Delacroix takes them almost two days with a stay at an inn in between. Not that Bucky minds since they'll be staying at Sarah's for almost a whole week.
Bucky blinks his eyes open when Sam lets go of his hand only to softly brush some hair away from his forehead. ''Get some sleep, baby.'' Sam says, quickly glancing at Bucky. ''I'll wake you up in a few hours so we can switch.''
He hums and closes his eyes again. The last thing he feels before he falls asleep is Sam's hand curling around his thigh again.
**
After driving for almost ten hours they stop at an inn for the night.
They're both exhausted after driving for so long they don't even bother with dinner, making their way to their room as soon as they have their key.
Bucky's so tired he flops down onto the mattress the second they enter the bedroom, unbothered with the way he's taking up all the space.
He feels more than hears Sam huff out a laugh against his cheek before he kisses him, whispering to him about taking a shower.
As Sam showers Bucky falls in and out of sleep for a while. His body is begging for him to get out of his clothes so he can crawl underneath the blanket but he's too tired.
Thank God for Sam because suddenly his lover appears again, carefully crawling over Bucky's body and pressing a kiss against his head. ''How about we get you out of these clothes, hm?'' he whispers, gently brushing the hair from Bucky's face. Maybe he should get a haircut but he prefers it like this. He knows Sam does, too.
''Fine. But if you want sex you'll have to do all the work.'' Bucky mumbles, not even opening his eyes when Sam laughs.
''Just sleeping will do, baby.'' Sam laughs, opening the buttons from Bucky's Henley so he can lift it over his head. Bucky feels useless as he lays there and does absolutely nothing at all to help Sam while he undresses him but he's just so tired.
Sam doesn't seem to mind. He peels Bucky's clothes off with practiced ease, not bothering with anything else for him to sleep in beside his boxers.
Bucky scrambles the last pieces of energy together to push closer when Sam crawls into bed with him, spooning him from behind and wrapping his arms around Bucky.
He can hear Sam whisper goodnight in his ear, a pair of warm lips gently pressing against his bare shoulder. ''G'night.'' Bucky kisses, or tries to, the back of Sam's hand before he's out like a light.
They have to get up quite early in the morning which earns a lot of grumbling from Bucky when Sam gently shakes him awake. He feels well rested enough but getting out of bed early isn't his thing.
Sam makes it worth his while when he fucks Bucky in the shower; his legs wrapped around Sam's waist and his back pressed against the tiles as Sam fucks into him slowly but steadily. Obviously Sam knew what he was doing because afterwards Bucky is happy and soft from his orgasm, complaining is the last thing on his mind.
After breakfast they continue their journey, Bucky taking the wheel first so Sam can drive the last part towards his sister's house.
It's when they switch places and they're an hour away when the nerves suddenly set in. With every minute that ticks by Bucky can feel his chest grow tighter with stress. Normally he would grow quiet, probably snap at Sam whenever he picked up on it and asked him if something's wrong. But not now, he knows what to do to make it better.
Bucky reaches over and gently takes one of Sam's hands away from the wheel when it's safe so he can grasp it tightly. Sam glances over in question.
''I'm nervous.'' Bucky admits, taking a deep breath in through his nose before blowing it out through his mouth.
Sam squeezes his hand. ''You don't have to be.'' he promises. ''Sarah will adore you, I know she will.''
He hums softly, focussing on his breathing for a while. Sam lets him, staying quiet as he rubs his thumb over Bucky's hand.
Whenever he's stressed he starts breathing wrong very quickly so Sam taught him some breathing exercises that help him breathe correctly. Even now they help him calm down, his nerves now only a far away buzz.
''How are you so calm about this?'' Bucky asks, smiling at how casually Sam shrugs.
''Because I'm excited to show you off to my sister.'' He flashes him a grin when he notices the colour rising to Bucky's cheeks. ''Aw, are you getting shy on me, Buck?'' He pokes his finger dangerously close to Bucky's crotch so he swats his hand away.
''Get lost.'' Bucky laughs, ''Don't try to rile me up when we're ten minutes away from meeting your family.''
Sam grins a bit more mischievous. ''You're no fun.'' he jokes.
''I'm no fun?'' Bucky asks, faking shock. ''Do I need to remind you of that one time I fucked you in the back of this car, Samuel? It was daytime.''
''Yeah,'' Sam rolls his eyes. ''in an empty parking lot. You're a real dare devil, babe.'' His voice drips with sarcasm but he's laughing and Bucky can't help but join in.
''I'll just pick up my ego on the way back, thanks.'' he answers, jokingly pushing away Sam's hand when he tries to squint his face. ''Don't touch me.''
Sam laughs loudly as he tries to grab Bucky's face while keeping his eyes on the road. ''Don't be like that, baby.''
''You just lost all your sex privileges.'' Bucky states matter-of-factly, pushing Sam's hand away before he tries to grab for him again.
''Damn.'' Sam mutters, placing both hands on the wheel again. ''No car sex during daytime in an empty parking lot, then. I don't know if I can hold off so long.''
Bucky cackles so loud his eyes start to water, laughing even harder when Sam makes another grab for his face. ''Fuck you,'' Bucky gets out, ''Sam.''
''I thought that wasn't on the table anymore.'' Sam points out, grinning widely as he flashes his eyes momentarily to Bucky.
Their laughter slows down after a while, Sam still snickering a bit when he takes Bucky's hand in his. It's during moments like these where Bucky explicitly feels the deeply sated love he carries for Sam. Somehow he always knows exactly what to do or what to say to make Bucky feel better.
By the time they arrive he feels much more at ease. The nerves are still there but his head feels clearer.
They get out of the car and Bucky takes a second to take it all in. It's breath-taking; the house looks beautiful surrounded by so much nature and even with a dock leading towards the water. It's nothing at all like home but that's exactly why he likes it so much.
There's a certain quiet here, a lot different from how loud it always is in the city. The only thing he can hear now are birds chirping, the wind blowing through the trees and the quiet rustling of the grass.
Sam entwines their fingers and smiles when Bucky looks at him, tilting his head towards the house. They're halfway when suddenly the front door flies open and two boys appear.
''Uncle Sam!'' Bucky already knew who they were but this only confirms it. He laughs as he watches them jump down the porch stairs, running to Sam as fast as their legs can carry them. Bucky quickly takes a step back when they get close enough, Sam squatting down before the boys jump in his arms.
There's no doubt about how much Sam cares about these boys and Bucky catches himself smiling down on them fondly. Sam laughs happily as he cuddles his nephews, both screaming excitedly about how much they missed Sam.
''Boys!'' Bucky turns his head when another voice carries through the air, his eyes finding a woman on the veranda. She has her hands planted on her hips, a dish towel slung over her shoulder. ''Be careful with him. He's no unbreakable superhero like in those movies you two watch all the time.''
Sam sputters as if he's scandalized. ''I could be!'' he yells back, turning his head to look at Bucky. ''Babe, you think I could be Captain America, right?''
Bucky nods dutifully and pats Sam's head while he's at it. ''Sure, doll. Whatever you want.''
He smiles a bit shyly when Sam stands up again and wraps his arm around Bucky's waist. ''Buck, I want you to meet my nephews; this is AJ,'' Sam rubs his hand over the smallest boy's head, ''and Cass.'' He does the same thing to the tallest boy.
Cass squints his eyes at Bucky when they shake hands. ''So you're the boyfriend?''
Bucky laughs, he can't help it, and allows Cass to keep shaking his whole arm. ''Apparently so, yeah.'' he confirms. Cass hums slowly when he eyes Bucky up and down, AJ giggling as he watches.
''Alright,'' Sam peels Cass' hand away from Bucky's, ''let the poor man breathe. Man, you're even worse than your mother.''
They make their way to the house, Cass and AJ running ahead. Bucky's eyes find the woman on the porch again and once again he notices how much she looks like Sam. It's very obvious they're family. How one family can look so gorgeous is beyond him.
Sarah's face lights up when Sam hugs her hello, pressing a kiss against his cheek before they part. Bucky feels the nerves kick in again when Sam turns to introduce Sarah to him, her dark eyes setting on Bucky. They both have the same piercing gaze, as if they're staring into your soul.
''I'm Bucky.'' he introduces himself after she does, smiling a bit. ''The boyfriend.''
Sarah huffs out a laugh and releases his hand. ''Trust me, I know. Sam can't talk about anything else when he calls me.'' She shoots Sam a certain looks that screams I'm silently judging you, and Bucky laughs when he sees Sam's face.
''Why d'you always gotta do me like that?'' he asks.
Sarah shrugs. ''I'm merely stating out the obvious. It's not my fault you can't shut up about his 'steel blue eyes' or 'the way he smiles and his eyes get all-'''
Sam interrupts her by loudly screaming how that's more than enough, clasping his hands over Bucky's ears as if that'll help.
''You're going to chase him away before he even gets inside.'' Sam grumbles, hugging Bucky from behind and pressing a kiss against his cheek. Sarah shoots Bucky a dry look. ''I don't know how you survive with him.''
Bucky laughs and pats Sam's hands from where they rest on his stomach. ''You get used to it.''
Sam lets go of him and walks inside, loudly complaining about his boyfriend and sister ganging up on him. Bucky takes one look at Sarah before they both start laughing, her hand warm and inviting against his shoulder as she also guides him inside.
It feels like a good start.
**
It's like coming home.
Sarah cooks for them that night, her famous Gumbo recipe for everyone to enjoy. Bucky asks if she needs some extra hands but she claims to have it all under control, something he immediately believes.
She's very skilful in the kitchen; cutting up vegetables, stirring in different pots, adding some spices as she goes.
While Sarah cooks Bucky keeps the boys busy in the garden. He plays soccer with them, running across the large field to try stop AJ and Cass from scoring. Of course he lets them. The expressions on their faces are priceless every time they score.
Bucky's belly hurts from laughing so much when AJ and Cass jump on his back again, loudly yelling for him to stop. Bucky lets himself drop to the grass, careful of the boys still clinging to him, where he acts as if he tries to crawl towards the ball.
''You'll never get me alive!'' Bucky yells dramatically, crawling a bit forward while AJ and Cass desperately try to hold him back by clinging to his back and pulling his legs.
''You already lost!'' AJ laughs, clinging to Bucky's back like an octopus. ''It's twenty-eight against three.''
Bucky stops moving and sighs deeply as if he gives up. ''You guys are way out of my league. Darn those superpowers you two possess.''
Cass and AJ giggle and let go of him so Bucky can sit upright. His muscles ache from running around all afternoon and his tummy hurts from laughing but he never felt more blissful than he does now. He was a little bit nervous if Cass and AJ would accept him at first but they seem to have no problem with that at all.
Suddenly Sam is there, watching them from the porch with a fond smile on his face. Bucky can feel the heat rise to his cheeks when he catches Sam's gaze, quickly looking away before the boys notice.
Sam calls for the boys as he walks closer, telling them Sarah needs them inside. They promise Bucky to come back when they're allowed to before they run off.
Bucky chuckles softly as he watches them go, smiling when Sam presses a kiss against his head before sitting down next to him in the grass. It's a beautiful day today and once again Bucky catches himself feeling completely at ease.
''You're good with them.'' Bucky turns his head to look at his partner, shrugging casually to brush aside the compliment.
''Kids love me. I don't know why.'' he confesses with a laugh. Sam doesn't answer but there's a certain look in his eyes that makes Bucky a tad uncomfortable. He frowns, laughing a bit strained. ''Why are you looking at me like that?''
Sam shakes his head but a smile is decorating his face. ''Nothin'. I just-''
He avoids Bucky's eyes, suddenly looking shy. Bucky laughs again, not used to Sam shying away from his feelings.
''No, tell me. Please.'' Bucky asks, taking Sam's hand in his before pressing a kiss against the chocolate coloured skin.
''I just love seeing you with them.'' Sam admits. ''Makes me excited about the future.''
Bucky's heart grows three sizes inside his chest when he looks at Sam's honest expression. His love for this man is so huge already and every time he thought it couldn't grow any further Sam proves him wrong.
''You thinking about having kids with me, Wilson?'' he teases, grinning when Sam visibly gets more flustered. Bucky takes pity on him, laughing softly and pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth.
''I hope you know I'm old school, babe. First marriage, kids second.'' Bucky points out, taking notice of the way his heart starts to thrum a bit faster at the thought. They haven't been a couple for that long but there's no doubt in his mind about Sam.
Sam smiles softly at him, his eyes flickering between Bucky's.
''Perfect.''