Epilogue
3 years later
''Here you are.''
Bucky blinks his thoughts away and turns his head to the side, smiling at Sam who takes a seat beside him on the dock. The summer heat is slowly setting to something more comfortable now the evening is taking over. Bucky's toes can just reach the cool water beneath when he stretches them down far enough.
''Here I am.'' he confirms, shuffling closer when Sam wraps his arm around his waist and presses a kiss against his temple.
''Are you okay?'' Sam asks, ''You were gone all of a sudden.''
Bucky nods quickly, cuddling closer to Sam. ''Just got a bit overwhelmed.'' he admits.
Sam hums softly as he noses along Bucky's hairline before resting his cheek against his head. He doesn't push and Bucky doesn't explain because he knows Sam understands. Sam always understand, even when he uses no words at all.
Sometimes he still doesn't know how they got here.
Moving in together, adopting a cat and naming her Alpine, visiting Sarah and the boys for every birthday, like they are now for Bucky's, and holidays, building a life together.
It's like they're both totally different people.
Bucky's still going to therapy. Even after all those years therapy makes him feel as if he can take all of his worries outside of his head for a while so he can think about solutions with Lilly. Therapy made him into a whole other version of himself; less stressed and angry, more relaxed and grounded.
Therapy also made him realise he's allowed to live without being scared to be judges all the time. He gets out a lot more, going on double-dates with Peter and Wade, getting lunch with Steve to catch up and sometimes even joining Natasha and Wanda when they want to go dancing.
Sam worries a lot less. He's still a natural worrier by heart, but he tries to let some things be when he knows worrying isn't going to change anything. Like the days where Bucky can't get out of bed, his head and body too heavy with emotions, he'll make sure to offer Bucky comfort without suffocating him with too many questions.
It works.
The only thing missing is a ring on Sam's finger.
They both want to get married, they talk about it often enough, but the timing was never quite right. After all those years together there is not a single doubt on Bucky's mind about Sam, so naturally he wants to call him his husband.
He thinks about it all the damn time.
When Sam's cooking, when they're taking a shower and Sam sprays water up Bucky's nose, when Bucky awakes before Sam, when he sees Sam work behind the counter at his coffee place, when Sam's all pliant and sweet beneath him, or when Sam is kneeling above him.
Marriage. Even the word itself makes him feel giddy.
The ring sitting in the pocket of his pants is burning holes against his skin, screaming for attention.
He planned it out for months. Buying the ring was easy enough, Steve and Tony helped him pick it out, so now all that's left is proposing. The most important part if he wants to call Sam his fiancé before calling him his husband.
Bucky wanted to do it here, at Sarah's. This was, and still is, Sam's home for so long. It feels right to do it here. Sarah grew to be like a sister to Bucky. With her warm smile, kind eyes and supportive speeches she worked her way inside Bucky's heart from the moment he met her.
At first he planned to do it tomorrow, because there are too many people in the house now. Almost the whole town gathered for Bucky's birthday, something he's still getting used to. Even Steve, Tony, Peter, Wade and Clint made their way here for his birthday.
But now he's sitting here at the dock with Sam, the man that holds his heart, and suddenly this feels like the perfect moment.
''Sam.''
His lover hums in question, tilting his head back so Bucky can sit upright again. He swallows thickly and turns his body towards Sam with one leg pulled beneath him, smiling when Sam does the same without question. They can read each other like no other, even now.
Bucky takes Sam's hand in his and presses a kiss against his knuckles. ''I love you.'' he declares, smiling a bit when he sees Sam's slight perplex expression. They exchange 'I love you's' often enough but Bucky's never this straight-forward.
''I love you, too.'' Sam returns easily.
He laughs and squeezes Sam's hand. Bucky adores this man so much, it physically pains him at times.
''You have no idea what you mean to me, Sam.'' Bucky begins, frowning a bit to gather his thoughts. There are so many things he wants to say, he's afraid he'll forget some.
''Over the years you taught me so much. I'm a whole different person, mainly because of you. And you never stopped loving me, even at times when I wasn't worthy of your love at all.'' Bucky admits, flicking his eyes between Sam's. He can see his lover is slowly catching up but is trying to keep a cool head in case he is misreading things.
''I'm so incredibly proud of the person you are. This person who gives everything he has to the people he loves, even sometimes forgets himself in the process of it all-'' Sam laughs a bit wetly, tears begin to gather in his eyes. ''-but you just can't help it because your heart has always been too big for your chest.''
Sam whispers his name as he holds Bucky's hand in a tight squeeze.
Bucky grins, vaguely taking note of the fact he is getting emotional, too. The words don't even matter at this point, because everything he feels for Sam is open and out for everyone to see, every day of his life.
''Thank you for loving me, Sam.'' Bucky says, sniffing softly at the same time as Sam begins to silently cry. ''There is no one in this whole universe I want for the rest of my life, except for you.''
Sam's face falls with disbelief when Bucky plucks the ring from his jeans pocket, holding it out for his partner to see. He chokes on Bucky's name again, laughing and crying at the same time.
''Sam-'' Bucky takes his hand closer, brushing his thumb over Sam's skin. He looks at Sam and takes in how his eyes are sparkling with tears and how beautiful his mouth is curling into a smile, before his own smile grows even more.
''Will you please do me the honour of becoming my husband?''
For a few moments Sam doesn't answer, only crying and laughing at the same time. Bucky grows a bit worried when Sam still hasn't answered after a few seconds ticked by, forcing himself to stay calm before he starts crumbling down under the weight of Sam possibly rejecting him.
''Sweetheart,'' Bucky frowns as Sam lets go of his hand only to start rummaging around in his own jeans pocket. ''if it's too soon, you can just say no-''
Sam rips out a ring, holds it up for Bucky to see and time stops.
''You couldn't have waited until later tonight?'' Sam yells, still laughing as if this whole situation is hopelessly hilarious to him. ''I was going to propose to you!''
Bucky stutters out a few unintelligible words, his eyes flickering between Sam, the ring he holds out and his own ring.
This whole situation is so fucking ridiculous, so typically them, Bucky starts laughing too. He yanks Sam's free hand closer again, putting the ring on his finger.
''Well, tough fucking luck, babe.'' He laughs, pressing a kiss against his ringed finger. ''I was first.''
Sam cackles loudly but doesn't bother to dry his cheeks. He simply pulls Bucky's own hand close, his human one, and puts the ring on his finger, too.
''You were.'' Sam agrees, calming down somewhat to smile fondly at him. ''But I'm going to ask you anyway.'' He mirrors Bucky's earlier movement by pressing a kiss against his hand. ''Do you want to marry me?''
Bucky huffs out a laugh. This wasn't the way he imagined it, at all, but somehow this is even more perfect. It isn't perfect. It isn't how it's traditionally done. But at the end of the day they made it their moment and that's what makes it perfect.
''Yes,'' he whispers, ''There's nothing more I want.''
He pulls Sam's own hand closer again, holding it against his chest where his heart is beating steadily. ''You never answered my question.'' he gently points out, smiling when he sees the way Sam is looking at him.
Sam bends forwards and Bucky follows on muscle-memory. Their foreheads touch, hands clasped together tightly between them, their knees pressed together from where they're seated.
''Yes.'' Sam answers, his voice steady with the truth. ''Because I have always been and always will be yours.''
Bucky laughs softly, gently nudging his nose against Sam's.
''You're quoting Bridgerton to me again.''
His fiancé shrugs casually, grinning widely when his eyes flicker down to Bucky's lips.
''Get used to it, baby.'' Sam pulls him closer so Bucky closes his eyes, understanding what is happening and surrendering to it entirely. ''I will quote Bridgerton to you for the rest of our lives together.''
Sam kisses him and Bucky pours every single emotion he feels into their kiss. It's very easy to fall, the ground beneath his feet shifting and disappearing, because he knows Sam will catch him.
The love he has for Sam is as permanent and fierce as the pull behind his ribs.